1. never forget (the castle of our bonds)

You see incidents like these in the news every once in a while. Out-of-the-blue tragedies that make you question the existence of a loving god in the world.

Kirino's life ends that day. Then it starts again, but it's too far away.

Looking at this with time-travelling experience, he knows he has to do something.

-

"Shin...dou?"

Kirino opened his eyes, but it was difficult. Strangely so.

He wasn't lying down. Half his body was upright-- sitting-- and a sharp pressure was in his shoulder. It took him another moment to realize he wasn't in his bed.

The pressure in his shoulder was the seat belt. And it hurts a little there because-- because he was upside down, suspended on the chair.

"Ever-" he coughed. His voice was dry-- his lips cracked, and there was the taste of dust around his face. In his next words, his voice cracked, "...everyone?"

He was in the caravan.

They were... they were headed to the Holy Road Stadium.

-

-

Three years ago, a group of children overthrew the soccer government, traveled through time, then fought against aliens in space.

Now, in Raimon High School's Soccer club, a semblance of peace goes on.

Tenma and Shinsuke are always out causing some kind of trouble, somewhere. Shindou, though he doesn't let it show, is very much of a nutcase himself. Tsurugi runs the moment something troublesome happens, and Sangoku is too busy preparing for college to have time to deal with any of their juniors.

So that just leaves Kirino to deal with all the mess that happens in Raimon High's soccer club.

"You set your locker on fire," he repeats it, and he could not sound more exasperated if he tried. "And, in your panic, you threw a flower pot at it... which just happened to have been the violet Akane was raising, so she got upset and... strung up pictures of you in a dress all over the school building."

Kariya sniffled, rubbing away tears.

Akane, pouting and teary-eyed, looked away. She did not look like she was reflecting at all, despite the wooden sign around her neck.

Kirino crossed his arms. He left these guys alone for ten minutes to supervise the second team's practice. He left them alone for ten minutes!

"What about the fire?" he decides it's of priority.

Hamano raises his hand, "don't worry, I put it out with my Surfing Pierrot. The soil helped, but now it's muddy. We kinda panicked, so there's a Viva Great Wall of China over all of them right now--"

Oh, that is the last straw.

"Amagi-senpai!" Kirino threw his hands into the arm, whirling on the senior.

"He's angry! Everyone, run!"

-

"You guys made Ranmama angry again?"

Tenma has the gall to tease his seniors when they're all seated outside on their knees, with big bumps on their heads and wooden signs informing passers-by that they were currently in reflection.

"You should run," Hayami informs, very helpfully, "I got hit for not stopping Hamano, so he'll probably hit you for neglecting captain duties if he finds you."

"Yikes," Tenma shivers, "I wonder if the second team is willing to hide me today..."

"How about you actually do your job for once..."

"TENMA!" and here came the sharp voice, booming in like some heavenly decree. Everyone collectively stiffens and and Tenma gulps.

Kirino stands, hands on his hips and gaze sharpened in a way no one would have imagined him in Junior High. He's staring Tenma down like he's garbage.

Three years ago, if you told anyone that the scariest person on the team was Kirino, they really, really wouldn't believe you. If you told anyone that Kirino would soon become the person with the most authority in the team, they also wouldn't believe you.

In fact, sometimes Shindou would look at them and wipe a proud tear from his eyes. Kirino had grown so much. He's so happy for his son-- I mean, friend.

-

Arakumo versus Raimon was a yearly occurrence at the Holy Road finals. The nation's most definitive top two of the country, standing before the whistle for the greatest, most anticipated match of the year for all soccer fanatics.

At least, that was supposed to happen.

"Is everyone here?" Tenma called for the group as they boarded the caravan, "got it, everyone? This time, we're going to win!"

"Yeahh!!"

That day, Raimon bantered excitedly in their team bus. They were ecstatic from the start of the journey, just unable to wait patiently for the match to come.

But the bus never arrived at Holy Road stadium.

-

-

Kirino couldn't move his left arm. It was jammed between this seat and the collapsible seat, which had plucked from its socket and crammed into the space between. Looking down, Kirino saw a blur of deep red out of the gaps and suddenly, the lack of pain in that arm was terrifying.

Shindou... Shindou was seated beside him. Where is he-- where is everyone else? The windows were shattered-- there was glass around.

There were rocks too, broken trees and mounds of earth that indicated the caravan was at least half buried under some sort of landslide. He couldn't see much of the bus around him, but the stench of gasoline filled his nose and he jerked into alarm.

The seat belt malfunctioned. He squeezed at the button but it wouldn't release him. The blood was pooling in his head and making him feel nauseated.

Huh? Now that the panic was settling in and he's waking up, the pain was returning.

A cold feeling at the side of his head, a burning sensation at his brow. He turned his head a little, and the agony was unbearable.

He cast his gaze downwards and finally realized why he couldn't feel his legs. It was mince-- bent in weird directions, purple and green in the wake of decomposition. A part of the seat's metal contraptions had impaled it clean through, emerging bright and crimson on the other end, blood flowing up his leg and growing colder, colder, colder.

He finally realized that it wasn't that he wasn't feeling any pain-- he was feeling pain so much everywhere else, he didn't even register it.

And that definitely meant he was dying.

There were tears in his eyes. He pushed at the button of the seat belt again, but again, it didn't work, didn't work, couldn't work, just let me go, please. Could anyone blame him?

"Is anyone there?" he called, as loud as he could, "anyone? Anyone!"

There was pain in his crushed arm. His head panged with a windy headache. There was agony in both his feet. His feet. He needed his legs-- he's a soccer player! He can't play-- he can't play soccer anymore?

He began to call names. Sangoku, Tenma, Tsurugi, Shindou, Kurama, Hamano, Kurumada-- isn't anyone there? Someone, anyone, please-- please be there.

Please don't leave me alone now.

There was no response, none from anywhere.

And somehow-- somehow he just knew. He just knew that they were all gone-- look at the state of the car! It's a miracle itself that Kirino still had energy to be alive.

Furukabu-san? Coach Endou? Trainer Kidou?

Kirino was desperate by now-- but he couldn't even tell that his voice had faded long ago. He choked on his sobs, whimpered through the last dredges of his pleas--

And fell silent.

-

-

-

Kirino wakes up, screaming.

Leaping out of his covers, breathing in like he's forgotten how to. He looks around-- there's light, there's the cold wind of the AC... why?

He's in his room. In his house... how?

He sets a hand at his shoulder. His left hand-- it's there. It's still there. It's not crushed red gunk and it isn't trapped between seats and made into jam.

His legs? His legs were fine. Intact. Straight. There's no hole. There's no metal bar in it.

They looked like normal legs-- but remembering the sight of his twisted feet made bile rise in his throat, and he rushed himself to the washroom, throwing up over the sink.

There's no pain except in his throat and in his head.

But the tears are there. The fear is there. The burn in his skull never fades and-- he retches again, and when he's done he wraps his arms around himself and sobs.

It happened.

It definitely happened. It wasn't a dream, it couldn't have been. It was too real. It was... It happened. He remembered the pain so vivid, so real-- that doesn't happen even in lucid dreams. That was... that was not a dream. That was not a nightmare. It--

"Ranmaru! Hey, Ran!"

Suddenly, he's jerked away and-- his older brother is there. Grabbing him by the shoulders, a hand cradling his face in an impossibly gentle manner--

"You with me? Yeah, breathe."

His brother isn't supposed to be here. He's supposed to be in... America. Yeah. He went there two years ago to further his studies...

"Kazu?" he asks, and his voice breaks. It's now that Kirino realizes how much he's shaking, how quickly he's breathing.

He keeps a hand on his older brother's arm, and he grips it like a lifeline.

"What happened?" Kirino's confused now-- so, so confused. "We were... on the bus, and-- why am I at home? Where's Shindou? Where's everyone else?"

"Hey, hey-- hey," Kazu taps him on the cheek, pulling in him for a very, very tight hug, "calm down. I think you just had a bad dream. You're home, nothing is happening-- look, I need you to take a deep breath. Can you do that?"

Kirino buries his face into his brother's shoulders, and sniffles. He digs his fingers into his brother's back and tries, and fails, to not cry.

He feels the fingers run through his hair, and he takes a moment to drag himself away from the hell inside his head.

For a while, all he thought of was the hand in his hair, the body in his arms, and the gentle hum of his brother's voice, soothing him back into reality.

He's not too sure when he falls asleep in that mess.

-

He's a little calmer the next time he wakes up, mainly from the confusion.

He looks in the mirror and what he sees is younger-- there's a bit of chub on his cheeks, but the scar on his arm, left by soccer practice last year, is no longer there.

In fact, the ankle brace Shindou got for him in their third year of junior high was nowhere to be seen. The succulents on his window aren't the same, and the curtains aren't what he changed them into yesterday.

The clock is ticking, two minutes past ten.

There's sweat at his neck, dripping off the edge of his hair, making everything sticky, sweltering, nasty. His eyes are bloodshot in the mirror and he couldn't look more tired if he tried.

He's horrifically late for everything-- practice, school, club-- but for some reason, he's not panicking. Maybe it's because his alarm clock is missing, and his phone isn't blown up with messages about the latest soccer club fiasco.

In fact, other than Shindou's chain of messages asking where he is around morning practice, no one else really says anything.

Something's wrong, it sinks in, slowly. Today's date, the calendar's year-- and the presence of his older brother in this house.

And ah, it hits him. I'm in the past.

He's in his second year of Junior High, and tomorrow is when the first years come in.

But why? He doesn't remember seeing Fei. Maybe Tenma did something again... but Kirino doesn't remember getting on the time-travelling caravan. It doesn't explain the horrific nightmare. He isn't wearing the time bracelet either-- so there's no reason Kirino would remember anything.

It doesn't make any sense. Why today? All the way back into... into three years ago? Or was it all really a dream, after all?

His hands are shaking, his breath is raspy, and the world is still spinning, but he knows Shindou's number by heart.

So he reaches for his phone.

"Hey, Shindou," he hates how his voice can't sound any calmer as he speaks into the phone. He claws at his hair and curls up in his bed, "you're there, right? Everyone's there? At club?"

There's no response at first, and Kirino almost wants to hang up and cry.

Because what if it's real and this is the dream? What if everything really happened and he's the only one alive and everyone else is gone because--

"What's wrong, Kirino?"

When Shindou finally, finally speaks, Kirino feels the world's weight lift off his shoulders. Yeah, that's Shindou's voice. It's him, a little younger-- but it's him.

It's him. He's not gone, he's there.

"You're alive, right?" Kirino can't help but ask, even when he knows it's a dumb, crazy question. His hand is still in his hair, clawing at his roots-- he just, he just needs to know, "with everyone else?"

By now, Shindou evidently senses something is wrong. Kirino can hear the distinct shuffling of papers on the other end, and there are other voices around, talking to him. He hears his name from a voice that sounds like Hayami's.

"Yeah... everyone's here, we've got a full practice today except for you," Shindou answers, a little more hesitantly. Then with more concern, "Kirino, are you okay?"

Am I okay? He would have laughed.

You're not going to believe me but we just drove off a fucking cliff and everyone just died, I died, we all just-- and all of a sudden I'm here, you're young, I'm tiny, the date is wrong everything is wrong, heck why are you even alive? Why am I?

But I'm okay. I'm okay. Just time travel, the usual shenanigans-- it's happened before, just-- just not like this, but it was kind of similar. Coach Endou died somewhere in between, Tsurugi got replaced halfway, twice, and everyone quit soccer about three times through the process, but we'll be fine. I'll be fine.

Instead, Kirino just sobs, "no."

And Shindou immediately responds, "I'll be right there."

-

-

"I'm home-- ah. Takuto, you're here?"

"Ah-- I'm really sorry for intruding. Kirino is, uh..."

When the older Kirino comes home, it's to Shindou Takuto sitting on the couch. Ranmaru's head is in his lap, arms wrapped tightly around the boy's waist. He's sleeping soundly, but from the little wheeze in his breaths, he'd cried himself back to sleep.

"Sorry about that," Kazu immediately says, "he had... a really bad dream, it seems."

Shindou nods stiffly. He wipes away the tears on the boy's cheeks, and lets out a sigh when he finds that Kirino is thankfully, still sound asleep. "He called me around noon. Sheared a few years off my life, really."

He said that good naturedly, but the laugh that returns is dry.

They kept their eyes on each other-- and deeply, they both knew something was really, really wrong with the situation.

Kirino Kazunari is Ranmaru's older brother by nearly five years. His hair isn't nearly as long as Ranmaru's is, nor is it nearly as pink-- but if there was one thing they had in common, it was composure.

Seeing Ranmaru break down so easily over a night terror was just-- just impossible. He honestly thought he'd sooner see an alien invasion than this, yet here they are.

He's scared to imagine the contents of that dream.

"Can I leave him with you?"

When Kazunari asks that, it's like he's handing off a grand seal of responsibility. He can see in the way Shindou's eyes shine, his shoulders lift-- yeah, the kid's happy to be trusted with Ranmaru. Who is Kazu to take that away from him?

"Of course," Shindou responds, and as usual, his voice is calm to stifle the excitement in his senses. "It's not as if I can leave, with him clinging to me like this."

Kazunari smiles.

"You're staying for dinner?"

"Ah-- if it wouldn't be a bother."

-

When Kirino wakes up again, he's really hungry.

In his sleepy haze, Shindou leads him around the house, getting him to wash his face before sitting him down and helping the boy put his hair into his usual pigtails.

"They're uneven," Kazu tells him.

"Eh?" Shindou flusters, removing the hair tie and picking up the brush. "Oh-- wait, let me try again..."

Kirino hums. With a sigh, he allows Shindou to keep trying-- because honestly, it's endearing how Shindou is so bad at it-- but he keeps his gaze down and doesn't say a word.

As far as Kirino knows, he's fourteen again. He can feel it in his bones-- they're weaker, and softer. His muscles ache from lying around all day... but that's not why he's feeling so weak.

He's three years back in time, and whatever this phenomenon is, it's not the time machine he's familiar with. If it was, he would have brought his seventeen-year-old body with him, not be sent back into this one.

He can't feel Brynhildr.

It's unsettling, to no longer hear her voice-- is it because he's much weaker now, physically? His body might not be able to handle Brynhildr now, so she lay hidden in the fog of his soul.

It would have been nice if she could be here, if only to ease his heart.

"You feel better now?" Shindou sets a hand-- a warm hand against Kirino's stinging cheeks. It was soothing and nice. Kirino manages a smile against it.

"Yeah... I'm sorry for worrying you."

If he's back in time... then something has to change, or things will go on as they did before. There has to be a reason he's back here after that. He needs to, not overcome, but create an interruption point-- and set the rails for a new timeline from here.

How ironic. They spent so long, so much effort, to alter the course of time and return it to the way it was-- and now he's here, and he has to change it again?

(This time, he's alone, too.)

It sounds... so difficult. But they've done it once before... surely it'd be easier now?

"Kirino?"

He lifts his head to look at Shindou.

"What are you thinking about?" Shindou asks him, and the worry is evident even through the game-makers usual stoical expressions. "Are you still strung up by your nightmare?"

Kirino shakes his head, but maybe he is.

(Who could blame him?)

First, he'll have to wait. Maybe soon, Fei will turn up-- and the boy from the future will know what to do about this.

But for now...

"It's just a dream," Kirino tells him, though it's more like a reminder to himself. "It's not going to happen. Then I'll forget about it, and that'll be it."

(...right?)

-

-

Shindou goes home after dinner, and Kirino is left with his brother, who's anything but convinced that he's fine.

Kirino was never one to verbally express his internal turmoil. He was the kind to let it bubble up inside of him until it exploded or was resolved. And Kazunari knew that.

"You're not going to tell me what's wrong, are you?" Kazunari asks, almost rhetorically, "I'm not going to force it out of you, but shouldn't you at least tell Takuto?"

Kirino curls up on the couch.

No sense in hiding anything from Kazunari.

"I can't," he admits, surprisingly easily, "not to Shindou, not to any of the others in Raimon, either. At least... them right now wouldn't understand a thing."

The revolution hadn't even begun yet. Tsurugi isn't an honorary comrade yet, Minamisawa is still in Raimon, and Fifth Sector still controls the soccer world. They had better things to worry about than Kirino's dumb dream that has no logical explanation yet.

The Shindou and Tenma of the future would understand, though. They've been through enough crazy to dismiss little holes like these in favour of finding a solution.

If he was in the future, he'd be able to contact Fei immediately through a communications machine Feida set up for them in the clubroom. But it doesn't exist yet.

Why is this situation so inconvenient?

He sighs.

"Ran," Kazu sets a hand on his brother's arm, and their gazes fix on each other. There's a strong, stern anger in his eyes, but Kirino knows it's just him being concerned for him. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Kirino pulls away.

"I know," he says, voice low-- he knows, he knows that Kazu will always be there for hm, even if things don't make sense. That's what brothers were for, after all. But-- "but really, I'm fine now. It's late, so I'm going to sleep. Good night."

And he all but escapes to his room, closing the door behind him.

He adores his brother, really. And he would do anything for someone to understand what he's going through right now-- to empathize with him and become his place of solace.

But no-- it can't be Kazu. Kazu knows nothing about time travel, about aliens, and all the things people shouldn't know until at least another year from now.

He doesn't want to imagine the drastic rift he'd cause in the timeline. Fei'd warned them many times-- he'd shatter the balance and the world might just reset in retaliation.

So he can't drag unrelated parties into the mess-- the more people that get involved, the more the world spins in the wrong direction and the harder it is to keep walking on a straight road.

At this sensitive point of the timeline, and for everything he'll do from now on-- he has to do it with as little possible rifts as he can.

For now-- for now, at least, he has to do it alone.

-

-

He goes for a run in the morning.

He couldn't sleep much. The dreams haven't quite gone away yet, though by now it's a dull ache rather than a throbbing pain.

He finds himself at the field by the riverbank, and he starts dribbling. There always seemed to be a stray soccer ball here... maybe Tenma had something to do with it.

Jogging around the perimeters of the field, dribbling was mostly memory. His muscles needed time to get used to his skills, but it was smooth practice.

His Keshin was out of the question... What about his Miximax? Surely, his aura was the same as it was in the future. He had no way of making sure if his Miximaxed auras were still with him, other than to try.

But as he is right now... would he be able to take Jeanne's power? It worked in a similar way to his Keshin-- if he wasn't strong enough, he couldn't use it.

He looks around-- there's no one around at this hour.

It should be worth a try, at least. Even if it doesn't work, it'll serve as a good study of information...

"Jeanne... is a little too strong, so I'll go for one of the others..."

After the time travelling fiasco, Fei often came around with Feida, for friendly matches or just to visit. Wondeba came around too, and soon enough, people took to composing Miximax combinations between each other, as a form of training. They even dragged Coach Endou's friends into the matter, just for fun.

He takes a breath, and crosses his arms before each other. With a burst of focus, he lets the power rise from his memories, and he roars.

His hair ties unfurl, and his hair falls into new spots, flowing out at his fringe and curling inwards at the ends. "Mixi-Trans: Kariya!"

He breathes out hard, letting his shoulders fall in relief.

The power flows into him, and his body is so many times lighter. He looks at himself-- and the consistency of his hair is different. It's shorter-- it's a carbon copy of what Kariya's hair is, really. 

He can sort of understand why his hair grows longer when he Miximaxes with Jeanne-- but how exactly does Kirino's hair grow shorter when he fuses with Kariya?

All that aside...

"So it still works," Kirino determines, "so if I train a little more, I can probably use the rest of them, too... better not use them in this time frame, though..."

Right. Time to try it out.

He starts lifting. Bouncing the ball from his thigh, to his heel, to his shoulder, and back before him. Then he goes around one more time. He hooks it into the air, does a spin, and catches it at his chest before bumping it to his knees again.

Kirino's always had better ball control, but Kariya's reflexes were always most suited to stylistic practice like these.

This form was the defender that could give Gouenji Shuuya a hard time, after all. Of all the possible Miximax combinations they played around with, this was one of the best. Not because it was strong, but because it was tricky.

As expected-- the Miximax eventually takes a little too much out of him, and it wears off after about a minute of activation. He collapses, laying flat on the ground as he catches his breath-- but at least he knows it's possible now...

"Are you okay?"

Kirino flinches, shooting away and jutting right upward in the direction of the voice. The boy that speaks to him is similarly startled from the sudden movement.

"I'm sorry for surprising you," the boy chuckles when he gathers himself, extending an arm in Kirino's direction, "you just suddenly collapsed, so..."

Kirino really doesn't know what to say.

The boy's wearing casual clothes, unlike the Raimon jersey Kirino is used to seeing him in-- but there's no mistaking that brown hair. Kirino even remembers the extended theories on whether he styles it or if the weird wind-shaped curls are natural....

"Eh? Is that a Raimon gym uniform? You're from Raimon?" the boy evidently brightens, "are you from the soccer club?"

"Ah-- yeah, I am," Kirino takes the boy's hand and lets himself be helped to his feet. "Thanks. Are you..."

"I'm Tenma!" he beams, in the same, alarmingly joyful way Kirino remembers. A sort of hurt passes through his chest, but he shoves it down in favour of the boy's smile. "I'll be joining Raimon today! Nice to meet you, senpai!"

If possible, Kirino just wants the world to slow down for a second so he can respond to things one by one. He's too busy catching his breath to comprehend right now--

"Oh, uh-- nice to meet you too, I guess," he responds automatically, "I'm Kirino, so..."

"Kirino-senpai!" Tenma changes his referral immediately.

Hold on for a second. Hold on for a second.

Kirino tries to ignore the sparkling (he is actually glittering with excitement) first year in front of him as he thinks.

This is Tenma. This is Matsukaze Tenma, a thirteen-year-old (or twelve?), pure and innocent little pegasus boy. He hasn't even joined Raimon yet, hasn't challenged a Seed with a skill that sounds like Death Sword of all things, and hasn't started a revolution to change history a few times yet.

This is Matsukaze Tenma, before he became a windy madman.

Yeah, it's just Tenma, nothing new here-- I mean WAIT, Kirino realizes, why am I meeting Tenma now?

He's not supposed to-- he's not supposed to meet Tenma until the match with the Seeds. He's not meant to even talk to him until... a while after that, so...

It must be because I came here, he realizes, Tenma must pass by the riverbank a lot, since it's near the Kogarashi Manor. He also jogs before school to walk Sasuke... it makes sense that Tenma would be here at this time.

Ahh, Kirino didn't think this through at all!

"What's wrong, Sasuke? Oh, a phone's ringing on the bench. Is that yours, Kirino-senpai?" Tenma drags the boy out of his train of thought. The dog is barking from the bench area, and sure enough, Kirino's alarm is going off.

"Ah-- morning practice!" Kirino suddenly remembers, "I completely forgot. I'll have to run to make it..." he takes the phone from the boy, muttering a soft thank you before smiling. "I guess I'll see you there, Tenma?"

"You bet!" Tenma grins, pumping his fists. "You should hurry Kirino-senpai! And please don't push yourself again, pace yourself properly so you don't end up like just now!"

"Day one hasn't started and my underclassman is already lecturing me about self-care," Kirino muses. In the future it's the other way around, so he would really call Tenma a hypocrite if he could.

Tenma is looking at him, dead serious with concern. It's nothing compared to Captain Tenma's worried dad glare, but it was certainly the vague dredges of it.

"I'll keep that in mind," Kirino says.

When he leaves for school, waving to the boy and his dog, Kirino has a hunch that this history-changing business isn't going to be as hard as he thinks.

"Ah," he realizes, "that was... the interruption point, wasn't it?"

Oops.