Erwin drives me to the Missionary Children's Hospital. I'm still pretty shaken up after the possibility of being stalked hit me like the ice bucket challenge. The way he consoled me through the morning as we lay in bed, trying to get a nap, then showered with me, watched me getting ready for the conference and none of that led to sex, was kinda comforting. It's weird how my brain — probably every woman's brain — is wired to expect a man to pounce at any given chance. 

There has also been the nagging thought that maybe Erwin knows something that I don't. The constant "don't worry about it; Levi will take care of it" was at least partially telling.

"You know, there was a time last night when you were in the car and I was at home when I heard the front door opening. Miri even hissed at the sound. But there was nobody, I checked. And there was this... this smell of... I don't know, somebody smoking a joint." I inform when we stop for coffee at a Starbucks near the venue.

"Being stalked by a stoner can be scary, my dear."

"So, you do agree I'm being stalked?"

"I don't know, angel." He squeezes my arm. "I'm only going off of what you're saying. But, really, you have nothing to be anxious about. As long as I'm with you, nobody, not even a pesky teenager, can touch you."

"A pesky teenager? What does that mean?" This is getting more and more nerve-wracking by the minute.

"Teenagers smoke up, right?"

"Baby, so do adults."

"Huh!" He looks away — I don't know if that's because he's caught up in a lie or because the barista has our orders. "I thought becoming an adult meant graduating to more sophisticated forms of addiction." He brings over the go-to cups and hands one to me. "Look, we're Evan and Nicky now. Did the person who took our orders have hearing impairment?"

"It's a marketing strategy, Erwin." I shoulder the door open, walking out. 

"Is it?" Such an old man!

His antics put a smile on my face. He guffaws when I tell him all about the misspelt names.

***

"Angel, do you consider these clinicians to be your idols or some sort of authority figures?" Erwin asks as he settles the Bentley into a cosy parking spot.

"Umm... There is a lot to learn from them if I want to be better at what I do. So, yeah. Not idols but definitely people to look up to."

"Noted, my dear." We exit the car and Erwin opens the rear door to get my bag and his coat. He has polished up real nice for today. Clean shaved, his hair is parted on the side and set in place with some gel. He took out a very expensive looking white shirt, and grey blazer and trousers from the trip bag stashed in his car's dickie. Honestly, that is making me a little nauseous for guilt-tripping him into not going home last night.

Not that he's ever looked even remotely not good! I read somewhere — and it was a meme — that every woman is at least a little bit beautiful and every man is at least a little bit ugly. That doesn't apply to Erwin though. He's gorgeous. I've never seen him in daylight before so when the sunlight sparkled his golden hair and reflected on his high cheekbones, I was pretty taken aback. He's beautiful. If I was not about to enter a room filled with colleagues and seniors, I'd have pulled him by the collar and kissed him crazy right now. 

"Angel, a kiss?" He asks, sliding his arms through the sleeves of his jacket, reading my thoughts like newspaper.

And yet he'll say that he can't figure me out. Liar!

"Just a little, okay, baby? Don't ruin my lipstick." I take a gander around before fixing his collar and he lowers his head to leave just the littlest peck on my lips. "Okay, maybe a little more." He smiles, offering his open mouth to me. He tastes of iced americano and my bubblegum chapstick that he borrowed, and his kiss shows me dreams of strong hands, thick dicks, smooth tongues, and stars behind my eyelids.

The auditorium is packed with my colleagues from various different hospitals and diagnostic centers. Several of them wave at me from different corners and nooks but I don't really feel the urge to socialize. I'm sure the news of my resignation has reached some of my colleagues, and from them to others and even those who I don't know well enough to share stories of my incompetence and self-doubt with.

Erwin and I walk over to the registration booth to get our visiting cards and goodies. "Oh look, there's a cookie. How thoughtful!" He takes it out of its pack and eats it immediately, like a child.

"Hey, at least I get to see you eat carbs. No toast in the morning? That's appalling."

"Gotta keep the abs for you to grip when you're on top of me, angel." He winks as I dust the crumbs off his chin.

Before I can shush him, Dr. Khan ambushes me. "Niji, there you are. Shall we do some mingling before the lectures start?"

Mingling? 10:00 AM is too early for mingling.

"Sure... Dr. Khan."

"I was just speaking with a few clinicians who were interested in the poster we presented in last month's conference. Would you— oh, hi there?" Dr. Khan finally notices the big, tall, shiny man standing behind me like a guard dog. He looks back at me for an introduction.

"Oh right! Erwin, this is Dr. Rasheed Khan, renowned oncologist. I work for him. He has a paper coming out on lung cancer, which I've had the good fortune of cowriting. And, Sir, this is Mr. Erwin Smith, umm..." I turn to Erwin, because how the fuck am I supposed to introduce him? Erwin Smith, mafia boss? Erwin Smith, official mascot of big dick energy?

"The boyfriend, Dr. Khan. Nice to meet you." Oh!

Dr. Khan glances between us before shaking Erwin's extended hand. For some reason, this interaction feels like introducing your boyfriend to your father and awaiting a reaction. "You're the one who sent all those flowers last week?"

"Guilty." Erwin shows us his luminous smile which, I believe, finally softens Dr. Khan.

"Are you in our line of work, Mr. Smith?" Dr. Khan asks as we walk toward the front rows.

"No, Doctor. I run a design-build company. Although, I believe some clinicians here may know me after all. Have you heard about the new multispecialty hospital in East Village, under construction? My firm is handling that project." Oh!

"That's a massive project." Dr. Khan's eyes flash over me, as if to solve the mystery behind the boyfriend I've never mentioned, even to the nurses I have lunch with. The hospital is a tight knit grapevine; if I had told the nurses, the goss would have reached the doctor in only a few hours, probably inside OT, over scalpels and blood bags and extracted tumor tissues.

"Yes. Fortunately, it's smooth sailing." Erwin crosses his fingers in the air, making me smile. It brings to mind the one-liner about hope he had said to Levi the night we met. Hope is not for the damned, he had said but who is it for then? Praying for the fortunate is... futile. The coin tossed in the name of the Devil is the only wish that matters because he needs it the most.

"Angel," he calls to me, squeezing my elbow. "Should I save you a seat or will you be socializing outside?"

"Umm... I'll come back by the second lecture, Erwin. You sure you'll be okay alone?"

"Absolutely, angel." With no regards to the amount of blushing I'm about to endure, he kisses my cheek, right in front of Dr. Khan, an authority figure who I'm almost certain I liken to a father figure.

After over an hour of putting myself through self-doubt and conversations where I feel like a rubber duck in a lake full of swans, I return to the auditorium. No matter how interesting this discipline is, no matter how noble the profession, it is not in my fate to enjoy the fruits of it.

I chose a career in life sciences only to satisfy the demands of my family. They wanted me to be a doctor like every other Castillo born but I knew I didn't have it in me to go through medical school. So I gave them the next best thing, the closest thing I could think of.

Now, I'm not saying I'm dumb; just that my intelligence lies elsewhere. Not sure where but definitely not in this line of work.

The moderator is introducing the next speaker, a hotshot cancer researcher from Indonesia. As I slide into the row that Erwin has chosen in the audience, I notice him speaking to the few people sitting around him. One of them is a colleague, a classmate actually, and beside her another classmate who went on to pursue research, and a couple of young clinicians, all enamored by what the boyfriend is saying.

"There you are, angel." His lips open into a beautiful smile when he catches sight of me, removing the goodie bag he used to keep my seat. I wave to Sandra and Dylan, my classmates, before settling myself.

Sandra taps on my shoulder from behind. When I turn, she rolls her eyes and does the Italian hand gesture in Erwin's general direction. So hot, she mouths before I smile and face forward.

"What were you talking about?" I ask Erwin. He has his notebook and pen out, and he has diligently taken some notes from the first two lectures. I take the pad from him to investigate. It surprises me how thorough and clean it is. Erwin must have been a high performing student in school.

"Nothing significant, angel. I wanted to know more about the profession and they wanted to know how we met and how long we've been together and all that. They saw us coming together so they must have been curious."

My cheeks start to tingle just a little. "They looked very curious," I mumble.

"Are you jealous, my dear?" He slides his long fingers around my wrist. "I'm all yours; you have nothing to worry about." His touch lingers on my skin for the rest of the conference while I take notes in his stead. Even when we're having lunch at the atrium, he has his hand on the small of my back, thumb hooked in one of my belt loops.

His pretty privilege gravitates more people toward us, some approach Erwin thinking he's a doctor himself. He tackles all conversations with grace, easing into introducing me and shifting the limelight back on himself whenever he senses my discomfort in carrying the burden of being interesting. He talks about Paradis' projects, the rollercoaster of the industry, and politely asks clinicians, genetic counselors and sales representatives about their jobs, the organizations they work for. Cracking them open like eggs on concrete.

We go home after the conference. We shower together and as he washes the concealer off my chest, I ask him something that has been on my mind since 10:00 AM. "So, you're my boyfriend now?" He only smiles, dragging the loofah over my shoulders. "It's funny since we haven't even been on a single date." It feels so natural to complain.

"I hear you, angel. And I'm about to change that real soon." Erwin kisses me sweetly. I often wonder if he's bothered by how much he has to bend every time he wants to kiss me.

I take the loofah from him and sponge it over his arm, careful not to disturb his healing wound. The thin curling of his lips tells that he notices the tenderness in my touch for him. "Do we have time to go shopping? I don't have any prom themed clothes." I shift my gaze to his face, glowing in the brilliance of his grin. "Tch! I never explicitly said I won't go."

Erwin pulls me to him, our soapy skin smoothes against each other, and I tiptoe to let him kiss me.

We drop Miri off at Ms. Fairybottom's place. She puts two and two together when she notices Erwin behind me, and summons the band of ladies sipping tea in her living room. They butter him up as he stands there beaming like the Sun at noon, eating up their compliments. I have to literally pull him away for us to leave.

Even though I insist on going to the mall and buying a dress off the rack, the way I did when I went to my actual prom, Erwin whisks me further and further away from my part of town until I can smell wet sand even through the shut windows. "Are we going to the beach?" I ask. Erwin doesn't really answer, not with words I expect. 

"Will you tie up your hair, angel?" I comply before he pulls a lever near the rear view mirror and then pushes a button on the dashboard. I hear the slow whirring of the windows going down, the top falling back, then the wind hits me. A much magnified version of the electric table fan back at our rural home in Tepoztlán. I have to pull stray locks of hair from between my lips and over my eyes and as I start to smile, I feel a gentle hand at the back of my head. Erwin smiles at me when I look his way, maintaining his touch. I don't think anybody has ever looked at me so fondly.

Slowly, the sea comes into view, the sound of crashing waves getting louder as the car rolls down a slanted piece of quiet road. I have been so captivated by the breeze, I hadn't realized the traffic thinning. The houses have become bigger but not taller, some have gardens around them, flowers and creepers gently flowing in the zephyr of the open ocean.

We take a left and as we're crossing what I assume is the backside of a massive sea-facing bungalow, I spot a familiar face. Hange waves at me as Erwin pulls the brake. I face up to where Hange was pointing and shouting at moments ago, and see a few faces peering from the edge of the terrace, dropping lines of floral arrangements. "You came?" Hange runs to me and leans against the car door.

"We're not here yet," Erwin answers for me. "Is Historia's still open?"

"I guess so. She and Ymir haven't arrived and I know some of their friends are dressing up there before joining us." Hange scratches their head, looking up again.

"When are you getting ready?" I ask.

"Umm... In a while, I guess. The inside is all done but... we have to still do the sides of the building. After the flowers, we have to still... umm... do the lights." They have dissociated a little, trying to measure the distance between each tendril as it twirls down. "Did you lose the tape I gave you or forget the number of inches I mentioned only fifteen minutes ago?" They scream at the volunteers upstairs. "Leave just enough space for the lights. I don't want it to like we're short of stuff when we're not."

Yet another member of a mafia family who plays a different character when they're with their people. Or maybe the playful rabbit from last night was the character and this is the real them.

"Hange," Erwin calls for their attention. "Keep up the good work. Niji and I will head on down to Historia's to get ready. We'll meet you back here. Don't stress yourself, okay?"

"Yeah, cool. Park the car there. We've assigned your spot to Mr. Tybur for tonight."

"Noted." With that, Erwin pulls us away from the bungalow. The lane, just broad enough for the car, winds slowly down toward the beach. Erwin takes a broader distributary instead and I see his shoulders relax. He chuckles when he notices my concern. "I don't prefer to drive the Bentley up such thin roads so... Are you okay, angel?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Where are we going?"

"A boutique shop run by one of our soldiers. Well, two now, since her partner joined recently. Historia will curate your entire look, or you can pick and choose from her collection. Anything you're comfortable with, angel." He does the thing again with the fond touch on the back of my head. Okay, I said Daddy, not Dad!

He pulls up in front of a cottage-esque establishment, the kind you see on Ghibli movies. It has a bare brick exterior with a red tiled roof and a wooden door and windows.

As I step out to wait for him to parallel park the car and pull the roof back in place, I notice two other cars and a big ass bike. Chatter drifts from inside the house, friendly banter and giggles, multiple voices. I know I'm going to a party, there will naturally be a lot of people; I was hoping it won't be until 8:00 PM that I have to start socializing again. Two events in one day is bonkers! I miss my cat.

"Eyes on me, angel." I don't notice when Erwin comes to a halt right in front of me. He tugs at my chin to free the lip I've been picking at. "Always, okay?"

A/N: Niji baby doesn't realize she has pretty privilege too. Maybe in a few chapters, we'll see how that affects her and also the relationship. Speaking of which, where do you think this is going? Feel free to comment below any and all your thoughts.

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