HI I AM NOT DEAD DW AND IM FINALLY UPDATING THIS SHIT ANYWAY-

BEFORE THE BREAKDOWN, BEFORE I LOSE MY MIND FOREVER-

OK but actually, hi im back from my hiatus thingy. how are yall?
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The words 'The Campfire Song' come on the screen and a video starts playing.

LUKE (spoken)
Come on, grab some ambrosia, and let the nectar flow

"What the hell's ambrosia?" Chandler asks.
"Well, it's like- uh, a healing thing-" Grover says.

PERCY (spoken)
Why is everyone scraping part of their plate into the fire?
Is the food here really that bad?

"Oooh, sassy." Beetlejuice says.

LUKE (spoken)
Offering to the gods. 

"Gods? but there's only-" Annleigh starts saying before Farrah interrupts her.
"Shut up, please."

It's not enough that their omnipotent and all-powerful, they need to feel appreciated. To the gods!

"But there's-" Annleigh starts saying but is cut off once more.
"You may believe there's only one, but in our universe, there's way more." Annabeth states, matter of factly. Annleigh groans and mutters something under her breath. Clark sighs and holds her hand.

ENSEMBLE (spoken)
To the gods!

LUKE
Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your parents run the universe

"Wait, the gods are your PARENTS!?" Michael asks-exclaims.
"Yep." Replies Percy.

ALL
Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your folks run the universe

LUKE
My dad is Hermes
He messengers things
You'll know his sign by his shoes with those wings
I'd wait by the phone, but the phone never rings
Oh no

"Ouch, sorry dude." Jared says to Luke.
"I don't really care about the gods." Luke says.

[ENSEMBLE makes noises of agreement]

When your dad's a god, life can be tough
I met the guy once, and once was enough

(spoken) Annabeth?

ANNABETH
My mom's Athena
She's smart and she's wise
She's sworn off gluten and she's sworn off guys

"Oh, hey, me to." Kate says with no emotion. Eva and Chess sigh.
"What do you mean by that?" Heather Mac asks.
"Well, I'm Lesbian and also gluten free-"
"Well, we support you no matter which colour of-"
"Shut up, Riley." Kate says, glaring at her.

But if she came to camp, it'd be a surprise
Oh no

LUKE AND KATIE: Oh no

Oh, and my stepmom, she hates me, and my dad works all day
So I left Virginia and I ran away

"Oh, FINALLY someone I can relate to - except for the running away part-" Farrah says. She gets concerned looks from almost everyone.

PERCY (spoken): Wait, is that true?

LUKE (spoken): Everybody!

ALL
Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your parents run the universe

Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your folks run the universe

LUKE
Alright, who's next?

KATIE (spoken)
Oh! Okay, let me see...

(sung)
My mom's Demeter
Goddess of grain
She gets excited when it starts to rain
But planting and planting and planting's a pain
Oh no

ENSEMBLE: Oh no

(spoken) Right?

(sung)
For their sixteenth birthday, my friends got a car
I got a fern in some dumb mason jar

"Wow-" Someone says.
"I guess the gods kinda suck." Says Reese.
"I can agree, they suck sometimes but it's not like I'd try to overthrow them." Says Percy. Luke rolls his eyes. "There's only one God and you should always love and-" Annleigh starts saying but is cut off AGAIN by Farrah telling her to shut up.

GROVER (spoken) Ooh, ooh! My turn!

(sung)
I'm a child of Pan
God of the wild
For those who love nature, they're often beguiled
He's not really my dad, but I'm sort of his child...
Oh no...

ENSEMBLE: Oh no

"Why do they sound sort of annoyed?" Glinda asks. She gets no reply.

He went for a hike to explore new frontiers
And no one has seen him for thousands of years

Percy, Annabeth and Luke sigh.

ALL
Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your parents run the universe

Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your folks run the universe

PERCY (spoken) Chiron! Who's your dad?

CHIRON (spoken) Oh, well

(sung)
My father is Kronos
Remember my lecture
He ate his children

"HOLY SH-" Chloe starts saying.
"Please no cursing!" Annleigh says, cutting Chloe off.
"You say that but didn't you say 'bitch' when you found out that Reese-" Cairo starts saying.
"Haha, they don't need to know that!" Reese says.
"What did she do???" Rich asks. He gets no reply.

LUKE (spoken)
Chiron wins

[ENSEMBLE makes noises of agreement]

How about you Silena?

SILENA
The goddess of love
My mom's Aphrodite
She tries to be cool but mainly she's flighty
I'll bring home a boy, and she's there in her nightie

ENSEMBLE Oh no!

(spoken) It's so embarrassing, guys!

(sung)
I tried to seek help from even the fates
Cause she steals my mascara and all of my dates

"Hold on, isn't she like.. 1 000+ years old???" Damien questions.
"They're gods so I guess it doesn't matter much??" Percy says.

LUKE (spoken)
Alright Percy, it's your turn

PERCY (spoken)
If I tried to sing, it'll probably cause an avalanche

"Don't say that!" Mattie says. "You're probably really good at singing!"
"Uh, thanks I guess." Percy replies.

LUKE (spoken)
Oh, we're all friends here. Come on, give it a shot

Percy, Grover and Annabeth shift uncomfortably at the 'friend' part. Luke tenses up.

PERCY
My mom was named Sally

"Was? Is she dead?" Lydia asks.
"Ah, no, I thought she was though.. it's complicated-"

She loved scary movies
And food that was blue
And-

KATIE (spoken)
He's doing it wrong

SILENA (spoken)
Yeah, who's your godly parent?

PERCY (spoken)
Oh... I don't know

LUKE (spoken)
It's alright A lot of half-bloods never know their godly parent. Just give it a try

PERCY
So my dad is some god
That's great I guess...
Did he not want me? Or not want the stress?
Too bad he's the worst, and my life is a mess. Oh no

"HAHA YES GET EM PERCY-" Michael exclaims.
"What the Hades-"
"Hold up, aren't you guys like,, twelve???" Cady asks.
"Yep." 
"That- are you okay???"
"Yes..?"

ENSEMBLE cheers

I hope he shows even a trace
Cause I got some choice words to throw in his face!

ALL
Oh, things couldn't be worse
When your parents run the universe
Oh, things couldn't be worse

LUKE
But I don't care where our parents may be
As long as you are here with me

Percy, Annabeth, Luke and Grover: "..."

ALL
We don't care where our parents may be
As long as you are here with me
As long as you are here with me!

"Thoughts?" Seth asks.
"Well, I think-"
"We all know what you think, Annleigh. Anyone else?" 
"Eh it was okay, very repetitive though." Regina says.
"The ending was sweet." Martha says. Several other people nod their heads in agreement.
"I LOVED it!!" Christine and Damien say.
"Mk, next song." Seth says before they turn on the TV and the next song plays.