What have you done? Screw that, what are you doing??

Jungkook lets his body fall onto the mattress and rubs his temple. He shouldn't have gone to find her, it was such an impulsive move!

Who are you kidding here? You've been thinking about it for nights...all that time doing your so-called 'research'! It wasn't impulsive and you know it!

But that smile of hers could cure cancer – damn! It felt nice seeing her again...and to be able to tell her his name –

Yeah, what's up with that? Why would you tell her your real name?? That's rule number one – never tell anyone your name!

It felt right though, when she called it out loud to him just now. The image of her in small, running steps from her car to his bike came into mind. It's nice that someone in this world now knows his name. It's been so long...and it feels nice to be able to exist again...

Her shy smile when she hands him her phone...for him to put in his phone number –

Okay, we need to talk about this. Something's not right with the way you're acting. You actually gave your real phone number to her – what the fuck is wrong with you?? 

Fine, you can't sleep – go find her and say thank you. Now you're keeping in touch?? You're actually gonna make a friend?

Why not – you know why the hell not!

But she's...she's harmless. She doesn't know anything and...and she's nice –

She's nice, but you're not –

I could be nice too! You can't. Not in this life!

Just shut the fuck up and leave me alone!!

...

Jungkook breathed in the calming breeze of the night. He's been sitting on this bench for 20 minutes now...thinking...and re-thinking...and catching glimpses of the entrance to the lobby of her apartment – expecting her to walk out which will prove to him once and for all that she's a liar and it will then stop whatever it is inside of him that demands for her presence.

Of course he's done his research – Jungkook's not some amateur at finding people - that's all he's been doing for the past week! It's not hard to find shit out about the girl either, her footprints are all over the place. The few clues he brought back from that night are her plate number and Seoul National University.

He ran the registration plate and found a man's name, which could only mean her dad bought the car for her. He searched up for the name and turns out, her father is one of the Chief Superintended General in Korean National Police. Ironic for Jungkook...it's already a red flag for him but he didn't stop. He couldn't.

Then he hacked into Seoul National University backend system to search for the man's last name. The match he got doesn't carry the same name, but was put under as reference for Lalisa Manoban. Which means she's either adopted or it's her stepfather.

Once he knew her name, the digging became easier. He knew almost everything about her by now – from social security details to her background of education, even her bank accounts, medical history and all her social network IDs...he didn't hack it of course! He uncovered all these information within one day. The only things he didn't know were her personal affairs.

That's why he had to stalk her a little. Just a little. He went to wait near her faculty to observe her from afar. Since he has her class schedules, it wasn't really a long wait. She's close with 5 girls. 3 of which would walk out from the same faculty as her. 2 he had seen coming up to hug her when she was sitting on the yard, writing things on her yellow notebook.

There were a few guys he saw around her but none that sparked his interest. Except for the one this afternoon. Bambam, she said. He was standing too close, Jungkook couldn't help but get closer to somehow make out what they were talking about. When the guy noticed, Jungkook didn't even flinch. He wanted Lalisa to find him there. He wanted to know if that's her boyfriend.

It's funny that he can't seem to understand what he was feeling at that point. A part of him wanted the guy to be her boyfriend. It would definitely put an end to his curiosity and he won't have to bear with the 'what-ifs'. But another part was afraid...and furious at the universe for doing this to him.

His perspective was slightly altered that night. No one had ever helped him before. Jungkook had gone through most of his entire life being a shadow – he had always gone through his ways being unnoticed and it's how it should be. He survived this long because of it. 

But when she came and insisted on fixing him, he felt like he mattered. She was so worried and concerned about him – even as she dropped him off at the convenient store near his place – it made him feel like he's important...like it's necessary for her to keep him safe.

His phone buzzed in the pocket but he ignores it. Probably an app update notification.

Anyway...at one look she looks like just a normal, average girl. Sure, she has that exotic face that the more you look at it, the more you'll somehow get addicted to just stare at her. Especially her eyes...and her lips...

His phone buzzed again and Jungkook hissed, taking it aggressively out of his pocket. Oh –

Hi Jungkook
I just wanna say thank you for the coffee and cake

Jungkook's heartbeat picks up as he saved the number in his contacts.

Hi Lalisa

Lalisa:
Hi
Just Lisa
Are you busy?

Nope not at all
Are you?

Lalisa:
I won't be texting you if I am

Shit...yeah...what an idiot! What could he say? He's never texted a girl before – heck, he never texted anyone before! Not casually, no...what do you even talk about? Maybe ask her if she had her dinner? Will that be too personal? Maybe ask what she's doing – she's texting you, what else?? 

Lalisa:
So what are you doing?

Texting you...outside of your apartment building...to see if you lied to me about you having dinner at home...petty but necessary - you won't understand.

Just walking around

Lalisa:
Oh
Walking around where?
Have you had your dinner yet?

Oh...so it's not too personal to ask that? Wait – did she saw me? Is that why she asked where? Jungkook turns his head around but found no one around the bench he's sitting at.

Just around Hongdae. I haven't

Lalisa:
Oh, near me!

Yes...so near....

Lalisa:
Do you wanna grab something to eat together?
I ate but I'm still hungry

Jungkook smiled at the screen. She must've look so cute saying that! 

...

"Hey!"

Oh fuck – she's so pretty! How – shit, how do I look like now?

"Hi,"

"Why, do I have something on my face?"

Yes...your pretty eyes...slightly blushed cheeks...and that damn smile – Jungkook shook his head and sighed a laugh to the ground.

"No, nothing...you just uh...you look nice,"

"I do? I didn't even put anything on..." She touched her cheek and frowns. "Wait, that's a joke right? I mean...I was in a hurry – I didn't wanna make you wait for long,"

A joke? What joke? Jungkook nodded despite not understanding what she meant.

"So um...what do you wanna eat?" She asked. Wow...no one's ever asked him that!

"I uh..." He scratched his neck and looks around. There are food stalls and he thought he passed by some coffee shops earlier – but no restaurants. "I don't...I mean, I'm not sure –"

"There's a place behind that street," She pointed to somewhere behind him. "They have grilled beef, it's quite good,"

"Oh okay...yeah, lead the way!"

She starts walking ahead and Jungkook followed behind. After a few steps, she turned and gestured for him to walk by her side. It's quite funny...Jungkook's so used of walking alone and following others behind their back that he didn't know if this is even possible!

"Do you live nearby?"

"Mmm...not really. I was just looking for a place," It's not quite true but it's also not a lie. He already got a place. Jungkook leaves no trace after a job is done and meeting her gave him an idea of where to look for his next home.

"Oh, you're moving to this neighborhood?" Was that a good surprise or a bad one? "Where do you live now?"

"Not that far from here,"

"Ahh...it's okay, you don't have to tell me,"

I wanna tell you...I wanna tell you everything...I just can't –

...