He hissed at his own rattling thoughts, wishing for it to stop as he grabs the handle a little too hard and starts speeding again - not thinking where the road will take him.

Why are you beating yourself up now? Isn't this what you want? You wanted her, so live with the consequences! 

Just get out from my head!! I don't need your screams and shouts -

Why? Am I wrong?! I told you it's a mistake from the very beginning! No one - I repeat NO ONE would understand! You're a monster -

No...no I'm not!!

Oh, yes you are! You're a murderer before and you're a murderer now - why pretend? You weren't pretending before when you threatened those boys. You won't mind if you pulled the trigger -

But I didn't!!

But you thought of it -

That's different! They were beating him up - I only wanted to protect him!

Come on!! You're no hero and you know it! Doesn't matter that you didn't kill any of them but you wanted to -

They were beating him...like he was beating her...

 No one will ever understand. You knew the story - you knew what happened, but you're still scared of what she'll think of you! Now, what does that say? You'll always live with it...all those blood...are still on your hands. You'll never wash it off no matter how hard you try! Did you see the way she looked at you just now? 

She...she was afraid. She looked at me with fear in her eyes...and I can't see it. Like eomma Kim...I can't - I don't wanna see it!!

Then leave! What the fuck are you still doing here - thinking that this life will change?! It will never change! Leave!!

A bright, beaming light appeared fast and close, and he heard the loud sound of a truck's blare before he shuts his eyes. The metals on his bike screeches and thuds...and his body hits the ground. 

...

Lisa knocks aggressively on the door again. Her knuckles are hurting, but her loud heartbeat decides to ignore it. Please...open the door...please let me in - I need to know you're okay!

The silent stillness brought tears to her eyes. Something is wrong. It's been wrong since Taehyung mentioned that he knew him from Daegu. It's even more wrong when Jungkook left her and her friends there...all speechless at the story and the sight. Her heart had been even more restless since she got to his house 15 minutes ago - hearing no signs of life behind it. 

Is he not at home? Where is he? I shouldn't have asked him to come! I shouldn't have encouraged Taehyung by answering him...I should've let Jungkook speaks for himself! Ugh - why, why do I have to force that on him?? It must've been hard for him - sitting there and reliving something he didn't want to...

It dawned on her that Jungkook - while still being the mysterious guy that he is - had opened a lot of his past to her. Those are the things he wished for her to see. There must be a reason why he kept things in the dark...is it because he thought she wouldn't like the way he is? 

But he's kind! He's this amazing guy who wanted to celebrate our one-week anniversary! He always showed up with a smile and never once complain about her incessant whining before or after class! He has a gentle soul - always afraid of hurting her or - or moving too fast or too slow. What is he afraid of?

Perhaps he thought her friends were judging him from that story? She can't lie - it did shock her to know that young, little Jungkook had carried a gun while finding his way alone...and that he pointed it at a group of boys bigger than him! But she's sure that his actions were justifiable...sensible. 

Taehyung felt bad for bringing it up. He mentioned after - that when the boys ran and left them there, Jungkook puts the gun away and helped him pick up the potatoes. He even carried them to the market with Taehyung and that's how they became friends! Jungkook told him that he's not in school because his parents weren't able to afford it - Lisa knew it was a lie but she kept her silence. 

Jungkook also told him that he's working at an internet cafe and that's where they always hung out together. He knew Taehyung didn't have any money so he lets the boy use the computers for free. He taught Taehyung how to use them and they played a bunch of games together. The boys stopped bullying him and he knew it's because they're scared of his new friend. He said Jungkook saved him from the constant harassing.

They were only friends for about a year until Taehyung had to move to a different town because his late grandmother gave her land to his parents for farming. She realized that Taehyung's probably the one friend Jungkook told her about. It should've been a sweet story to tell - two old friends meeting each other after so long, and she's a part of it. Lisa stared down the stairs from where she sat. 

Yeah...it would've been a great story...if she didn't look so terrified over it! She sighed and a tear fell down her cheek. Where is he? Is he not coming back to me?

The dragging steps on the stairs alerted her and she stood back up. With hopeful eyes, she waited until the person appears. Jungkook - still in the same clothes but messier - stopped when he found her there. His eyes are wide for a second but then he looked down, his shoulders hunched as if he was tired and defeated. 

Lisa wipes the tears off her cheeks and eyes as she waits patiently in front of his doorstep. He's here! He's fine...oh thank God! The relief didn't last long as he got closer. She noticed the ripped sleeve on his jacket first...then the scrape on his right arm. There are specks of dirt on his jeans and the helmet in his hand looked like it's scratched. 

"Wh - what happened? Why are you bleeding??" She gasped in tears again, reaching for his slightly scraped right cheek. 

"It's...it's nothing. I just fell," He sighed and looked away as if he's trying to hide his face from her. Still, she noticed how his face is blotched red and his eyes looked like they've been crying. Slowly, he unlocked the door and opened it. 

Lisa walked in after him and closed the door behind, her eyes never leaving the state of her man. What on earth... She watched as he slipped out of his jacket. She heard a hiss when he was about to take it off his injured arm, and she ran to help him.

"It's okay, I'm fine -"

"No, you're not," She pulls it slowly and rests it on the chair. Then she turned back to examine his arm. There are multiple cuts that looked like they've been dragged in motions. The longest and most prominent runs from his shoulder, all the way to his elbow. The blood had dried off, but the red blotches on his skin are still very visible. 

It's painful to look at and it'll be even worse if she looks up to his face, so she avoided it. "Sit down. I'll clean you up," She can't hide the slight sob from escaping before she went into the bathroom. 

...

Jungkook stared at the floor in silence as his girlfriend dabs the towel repeatedly. The contact made his skin cold but it's not painful. No...what's painful is the sounds of her hushed sobs as she tries her best to fix him. You can't fix me...no one can fix me. 

He hates the fact that he wanted to shout it out, but he dreaded to hear it coming from her first. She must've realized how fucked up he is by now! There's no justifying what he did before, and there's no excuse for him to leave the dinner so rudely like that. She must've come here to scream at him for embarrassing her in front of her friends but didn't have the heart to when he showed up looking like this. What a way to make me feel even worse!

"There...what about your legs? Do they hurt too?" Her voice is soft...too soft that it made him feel like crying!

No...nothing hurts...except for my heart. He shook his head in response.

"Okay...now let's see your face," She sat still, waiting for him to turn and face her. When he didn't, she got up and took the chair - placing it in front of him. "Look up, bunny!" 

It's a miracle how she can act this way...tolerating his bullshits after what he'd done! His chest tightened when his eyes caught hers. She's so beautiful...even more when up close! Briefly, he's reminded of the first night they met. Funny how this is the second time she had to clean his blood!

Her cute, worried pout appeared when she started focusing on his cheek. Her eyes are glistening with clear water, but none fell. He could feel her warm, hitched breath a couple of times - as if she's trying to suppress whatever she's feeling. Her concerns confused him as much as the voices he's hearing internally - battling between staying and disappearing.

"Still my handsome bunny," She smiled, grazing her index finger along his jaw once she's done.

Jungkook can't help but frown. Why is she still being so nice to me? I don't deserve it -

"You wanna tell me what's wrong?" Her brave, kind eyes gauge for a different reaction...something he can't find himself to give. When he didn't respond, she closed his fidgeting fingers with her palms. "Talk to me...please..."

The moment he took on the deep breath, he felt the urge to cry. Jungkook lets his head fall - a way to hide from the guilt and from her.

"I...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have walked out on you and your friends just now. I was rude and I'm sorry. I didn't mean it - I just...I didn't do anything - I didn't hurt those boys -" He started blurting out as tears started falling.

"Hey...of course you didn't," He felt her arms around his neck, pulling him close as she climbed to sit on him. "I know you didn't...and don't worry about my friends okay? They're as worried as I was...especially Tae oppa. He asked me to tell you he's sorry. He didn't mean to cause anything...I know he shared it cus he was always proud of you. You should be proud of yourself too! You saved him!"

"Don't lie...you were scared of me -"

"I wasn't scared of you. You're my precious bunny - how can I be scared of you??" He heard her chuckle. "I was just...shocked. You know...it's not every day that I meet a boy holding a gun!"

"Don't...don't lie to me," 

She sighed and backs away, staring at him at arm's length. Her fingers brush through the back of his hair, calming him a little along with her kind smile. "We're not lying to each other okay? Where did you get the gun?"

"It was appa Kim's," There's something in her gaze that hypnotized him into telling the truth. "Eomma put it in my bag...to protect myself,"

She nodded slowly. "Okay...and when you pointed your gun at them, did you think you were gonna um...pull the trigger?"

"I...I might have...if they leave me no choice,"

She nodded again, digesting his answer. "Okay,"

"What?"

"Okay. Those were the only questions in my head when I heard the story. So it's all I need to know,"

That's it? She wasn't afraid of him? She wasn't judging him?? She didn't...hate him? "You're not mad at me?"

"Jungkook...did you get these because you thought I was mad at you?" She hinted on his arms.

"No...I thought I embarrassed you. And you'd hate me...and you're scared of me. I hate that I always do this to you,"

"Do what?"

Jungkook shook his head, not knowing the right words to answer her. "Like...I don't know how to - like, be normal and not surprise you all the time -"

"But I like your surprises!" Oh baby...you're not even halfway there yet! "I mean...I like that you're not the same as anyone else,"

"I felt like I let you down tonight. I know you wanted me to get along with your friends...and I think I blew it -"

"They already asked me to invite you to our next hang-out. Apparently, Taehyung's story made you look like a total bad-ass, and Jimin oppa's already asked for your SNS. You should see the look on his face when I told him you don't have any," She laughed, but Jungkook can't seem to get out of his system.

"I um..." His hands skimmed unknowingly at her back as he gathered his thoughts. "I wanted to disappear," Her face changed immediately. "I just...I was thinking...like I don't think I'm right for you cus you deserve so much better -"

"No!!" He caught a glimpse of horror in her eyes before she hugs him tightly, burying her face on his neck. "You - you're not - you're not breaking up with me! Not over this - I won't let you!" She cried in whispers, and he could feel the pain in each sob that it shocked him a little. "Please...please don't say things like this! Now you're scaring me - I don't...I can't lose you so please! Don't run...don't run from me..."

"Baby...there's a lot of things -"

"I don't care! I don't care about your past - I know you've been hurt and I - I'm sorry! I'm sorry that you had to go through it alone but you're not alone anymore, you have me!! Please don't push me away - please stay with me...I love you -"

Jungkook froze - at loss with both her pleading and her admission. She...she loves me? 

He's heard of that word before, 3 times in his life. The first was when he brought back a flower to Mrs Kim when he saw a neighbor bringing in a bouquet and a big balloon with 'Happy Mother's Day' written on it. It was the first and only year that Mr Kim didn't beat her up. 

The second time was on her birthday the year after. She said 'thank you' and 'I love you' when she saw the pancake he made, right before Mr Kim slapped her for not waking up earlier than Jungkook. The boy intentionally woke up early because he wanted to make her breakfast. That's when he learned that he wasn't supposed to cook in the house...not when Mr Kim's around. The last was when she kissed his forehead goodbye - in tears and heavy sobs - before she asked him to run. Her voice still echoes in his mind from time to time.

Never once he thought he'd be able to hear it again - not in this lifetime at least! Her face appeared again in front of him and he couldn't take his eyes away. His heart is beating fast and there's the weird feeling in his stomach again. Her tear-stained cheeks are pink. The glistening eyes looked like they hold sparkly stars and her plump lips looked soft. Slowly, he raised his thumb to gently graze on the lower. So soft...

"Even when you're crying, you're so beautiful," He murmured. Her breath hitched and she stopped crying. Her shoulders still shudder and he can't help but lingers his stare - from her neck to her sculptured collarbones. "Can you say it again?"

"I love you...I'm so in love with you," Jungkook took a deep breath - as if he could breathe her voice and plants it in his memory - before covering her lips with his.

...

*Warning: Mature Content*

Do not read the from here onwards if you're uncomfortable with a bit of erotic scenes.
Here's a summary instead: They *cough* slept together for the first time. 

Disclaimer: The reason behind all my mature content is to give a perspective on how crazy the two characters are for each other, and how it connected them more and more - both physically and emotionally. I tried my best to not be so vulgar in my choice of words, as I want to keep their personalities in check as well. Only read if you're an adult (18+ years) and don't mind reading about a little 'sexy time'.

...

The fear was real. She never felt so afraid about losing someone this much before and she didn't know what else to do aside from crying and pleading to him. He wanted to run for thinking that he'd embarrassed her - that's just ridiculous! The gentle touch on her quivering lips calmed her a little, but she's still afraid. 

He wanted to disappear...does he not know how important he is to me? It became more and more obvious as each seconds passed - his eyes gazing on her as if he's mesmerized by her very features - that he's probably hearing it for the first time. It broke her heart a little to think that.

The confession wasn't really an ideal one given the state of Jungkook, but the panic drove her to say it. She had felt it a week ago confidently...but she wanted to wait for him to say it first - which was a stupid thought to have since she already knew he'd be nervous as hell to be taking that step! But at the prospect of losing him, she didn't care about being the first one to say it. 

And she didn't care if he didn't feel the same. She just felt like letting him know that she's willing to fight through his past so they can be together. Looking at him now is like looking out on the horizon without knowing where it ends. She could chase it - despite the possible ominous clouds of storms to stop her - just so she could see a whole new realm of feelings lying ahead. 

"Even when you're crying, you're so beautiful," His hoarse whisper sounded so pure that she ended up staring at his perfect lips. Lisa felt the fear slowly dissipating, replaced with the need to be closer to him. "Can you say it again?"

"I love you...I'm so in love with you," Her mouth feels dry and she could only brave a whisper. He shuts his eyes and she lets herself believe that it gave him solace. When he opens them back again, Lisa saw the admiration she craved so much. 

His lips sealed hers within seconds and she felt his palms reaching up to her cheeks - caressing them with just enough force to dry her tears. For this moment, it seems that they are completely alone in this world. She heard a hushed groan from him, and she reveled the fact that he adored her too.

There's something in the way he's kissing her right now - it's as if he's trying to absorb something more than just the physical and it scorches her insides. Lisa parted her lips more just so he knows that she's all his, and his hand began roaming from the back of her neck to her spine and back. Everywhere he touched brought heat on her skin. 

Instinctively, she grabs and tugs on a fistful of his hair, playing with it. She sensed how it drives him wild when he deepened the kiss - his tongue taunting and licking hers. Damn it - I can get addicted to this! He's such a good kisser! His hand fell on her hips and he pulls back. Lisa frowned as she catches her breath - their foreheads leaning on each other. 

"I uh...I think I've waited long enough. Tell me if I should stop now," He forced the words in between his breaths. 

Well finally!! Her subconscious is leaping with joy! "No, you're not getting out this time," She smirked cheekily and felt his hands grabbing her behind before kissing her again.

"You have no idea...just how hard it was for me to not touch you," Jungkook scoops her up and she squeaked a little, clinging to his neck. He then lay her on the bed and hovers on top of her. The heat in his eyes is dark and dangerous. "You've been teasing me a lot, baby. And you said you love me...so there's no way I could ever let you go now,"

She gulped a little air. "Good," Her heart is beating so fast and hard, pulsating at every word and need of him. Every inch of her wants him badly that it's beginning to ache. 

"You trust me right?" He kissed her neck and she moaned her 'yes'. His hand skimmed from her knee to her thigh, and she felt the burning sensation deep in her belly. "You look beautiful tonight - did I tell you that?" He continues to taunt her with the soft kisses, furthering down to her chest. "Do you like this dress?"

Lisa had never felt so desperate than she is now. "Stop asking me questions and just do as you please - you're driving me crazy!"

"So eager..." He smirked before sitting up on top of her - his hands reaching the neckline of her dress and in a swift motion, he ripped it apart. The zapping sound is all she could hear other than her own heavy breaths and heartbeat. She looked down to her own body - now revealed in between the torn cloths - then up to his admiring face. "So beautiful," 

Her stomach flutters in response and her heart does a flip - happy at the appreciation. He took off his shirt and Lisa can't help but gasp over his naked torso. It's even more perfect than she imagined! His chest is wide and flawless. His stomach is flat and rippling with muscles. She'd touched it over his shirts many times before but this visual still shocks her. 

A finger beneath her chin tilts her face up. Jungkook's expression is serious...yet sweet. His sinfully dark eyes bore holes into hers. He smiles - looking devastatingly handsome - then kisses her again. With deliberate movements, he winds his long fingers from her bare chest to cup one of her breasts under her bra. The slight pinch left her breathless and excited.

His mouth left hers and his fingers loosen their grip, but his hands never quite left her. He slides his palm further down to the outline of her panties, playfully teasing the band as he licked her hardened button. Lisa gasped when he tugged it softly between his teeth - gripping the thin sheet below as if it could help ease her anticipation.

"I've been thinking about how you taste," He murmurs as his tongue dipped into her navel. "And what you feel like," His tongue flickers out to taste more of her skin. "Tell me to stop now if you don't want this," His words echoes seductively.

Stop teasing me! Lisa lifts her hips slightly as an answer. He hissed through his teeth before dragging her panties down her legs, so it must've been the answer he was looking for. Her chest heaves with excitement when she felt his hands again, gliding up her thighs and pushing her legs apart. His eyes shines with appreciation before he leans back in to kiss her stomach.

She felt his palm cup her between her legs and she spreads her thighs further. She's rewarded with pure bliss when he slides a finger in. "All this...for me," He whispers and pushes another one in. He's driving her crazy - with his fingers moving in and out as she raises her hips to meet them. "How did I get so lucky..."

Her pulse is throbbing in every part of her body...and she didn't realize when exactly he had moved down and settled between her legs. Not until his warm breath tickled her just before she felt the first stroke of his hot tongue. Her back arches off the bed and Lisa had to bite her own finger to suppress her moan. 

"Mmm...you're even sweeter than I imagined," She fists in his hair as he licks and sucks. 

The tension is building inside as her hips began moving against him. His fingers and tongue worked themselves like magic - harder and faster - and she felt his strong hands securing around her hips when the world breaks apart. Light and heat explode behind her eyes as she cries out and he finishes her off, stopping only when her body no longer quivers. 

She's now breathless...and elated. Hell - that was a mindblowingly, out-of-this-world, damn-amazing experience! What...what just happened? Where have I been all my life - where has he been?? 

"Baby..." She opens her eyes to find Jungkook on top, his face studying hers. "I love you,"

It's so random that he said it only now, but the earnest confession had her smiling like a fool. He loves me too! She threads her fingers through his hair and pulled him in - not minding the taste of herself left in his delicious kiss. She felt him smiling when her hand reached the base of his jeans, and he kissed her harder. 

She hears his zipper followed by the rustling of his pants as he moves to push it down - and she unconsciously helps him using her own feet, reveling in the feel of his bare skin against hers. He flexes his hips and the hardness tips against her folds. Once he's done taking his boxer off, she takes a moment to break off their kiss - just so she can marvel at the sight of him. 

I swear - not one inch of this guy disappoints! Just the sight of his impressively hard member makes her insides quiver again. He comes up to his elbow after putting the rubber on and poised himself above her. Even the look he's giving is enough to melt me!

He slides in slowly and she whimpered when he stops a little short - letting her get used to his size. He moves farther in again, each time filling her up a little deeper. 

"I love you," He whispers again, taunting her with the tip as he moves in and out in quick, short stroke. Lisa reaches up, fisting her fingers in his hair and pulling his mouth to hers. She uses her tongue to plead her desire with him, and he bites on her lower lip before licking it. "Let me know when you're ready for me,"

The longing is real. The desperation is real. She licks a trail from the base of his neck up to his jaw and the groan she heard made her smile pridefully. "Now," She forced the word between shallow breaths.

With his mouth covering hers, he drives his body deep into hers, stealing her breath. Every inch of length and girth moves violently within her, stretching and grazing her tightness over and over, and driving her closer to ecstasy. His lips moves over to her neck, then to her breast. She arched her back, pressing her chest up towards him - begging to feel his hot tongue.  

"You're so fucking tight," He forced a hoarse whisper and took the welcoming invitation - drawing her button in his mouth and flicking the tip with his tongue. It's all the motivation she needs! Tightening around his every being, she gave in to the glorifying frictions. A wave of purest pleasure washes over her.

She's breathless as he pounds harder. Her body is gripping the rubs as his tempo increases, along with his breathing. He stiffens for a second and with a heavy moan, he came - spilling heat and passion deep inside her. His movements are slow...and the spasms of her body squeezes him gently.

When neither of them has anything else to give, Jungkook pulls out and collapses onto her. They remain quiet, catching their breaths for a couple of perfect minutes - laying in a tangle of damp limbs and heaving chests. Lisa felt her heart filled with emotions as he nestles his face in the curve of her neck. 

"I love you," He whispered, for the third time tonight. Her limbs are weak, but she forced them to close around his back. 

Don't leave me. I'll be your safe place...

...