She felt her cheeks with the palm of her hands, still warm with the flushing embarrassment as she leaned on the door of her house. In the little seconds that she managed to glimpse at his face, he looked like a shocked bunny - cute and squeezy! Lisa felt her heart beating fast with a hand, seemingly unable to stop herself from grinning like a fool.

I like him...I like him a lot...

Jungkook had been courteous and sweet...but most of all, he had been himself. A man with conflicts, vulnerability, and fear - all of which were normally avoided by men she's ever gone out with and perhaps the last thing she was worried of, but had been clearly visible in one single day. She started the date feeling like she'd be the nervous-wreck between the two, but it was amazing to feel that she had more capacity of calling the shots than he does!

The men she'd gone out with had always made her feel like a soft, fragile being - having to let them decide on where to go and what to do, feeling like she should act all girly and talk all cutely. Not that it's a bad thing...but it does limit her behavior when it comes to showing her true self. Jungkook's honesty of not knowing the 101 of dates brought out the confidence in her, as if she could take charge and there's nothing wrong with that. 

His trust in allowing her to call the shots and his decision to confide in her about his past was the most admiring quality she'd ever seen in a man. And when he suddenly bursts into tears...as if he'd been holding it all in all his life and pouring his pain out to her, it kind of brought out the feminine instinct within. She never felt so much need to be there for someone - to care for someone - as much as she did for him tonight.

He didn't mind - or perhaps, he couldn't help - showing the weaker side of him. Not to her. It made her feel lucky...it's as if she's specially selected by someone as strong as him. It gave her pride to be there and witness it -

A bunch of chat notifications starts ringing in and she took her phone out from the bag. 

Is it him? That was quick - did he race home or something?

Sehun:
Hey doll
How've you been?

..wow...well this is...unexpected!

Sehun:
I'm sorry I haven't been in touch in a while
I've been going through some personal issues
My friend said he saw you this evening
Do you wanna hang out?
I really miss you
Can we catch up?

...

His heart has been fluttering like crazy since he dropped her off, more when she kissed his cheek! He can't stop smiling all the way until he reached his house, and even now as he lay on the bed, texting her! How the hell can I calm down - how can I even sleep tonight??

Hi Lisa
I'm home

Jungkook sighed another big smile. It was an unexpectedly magical day for him to be able to feel this strongly for someone - the first actually! He can still recall staring at the back of Lisa and her bouncy hair in awe, as the girl ran in tiny steps and disappeared into her lobby. She was such a chick...cute...

Lalisa:
Have a good rest Jungkook
Thank you again
For today

She's thanking me? I should be thanking her!

Thank you to you too Lisa
I had fun
Sorry again for being clueless at things
you helped a lot

Lalisa:
Hardly

A buzz came in and he saw another job posted. He swiped it away, leaving it unnoticed. He's been ignoring looking into any jobs since he met her as he didn't feel like doing it. His subconscious has been kind too -

Are you busy?
Or tired?

Please say no...I wanna talk to you...all the time...

Lalisa:
Yeah I think I'm gonna sleep
have to attend an early class tomorrow
I'll be busy for the next few days

Oh...of course she does - she has a life! Unlike you - and here he thought he's been kind to himself!

Okay, sure
Have a good night

Lalisa:
Goodnight Jungkook!

She sounded excited...excited to be ending the conversation? It's probably too much and she probably is tired. It's nothing...really. She kissed me...so it must be nothing.

...

The side street where the huge, familiar tree came up and Jungkook pulled to a stop - his heart starting to race at the prospect of seeing her. Far behind it is the entrance of her faculty, where students began walking out. Underneath the helmet's visor, he squinted his eyes to find the girl and it wasn't long until he did.

Lisa's wearing a grey jumper, a pair of black pants and high-top trainers. She tied her hair into a ponytail and her bangs sit perfectly on her forehead, as usual. Jungkook felt giddy all of a sudden. A little sick even - in the nicest kind of way. He thought of showing up and asks her out for lunch and he wondered how she'd react to find him there.

Would she smile - she'd be surprised, but would it be the good kind of surprise? 

He continues to watch as she laughed in the company of her 3 friends, all girls. They looked like such good friends, so at ease with each other. 

Maybe I should just text her first...it wouldn't be right to surprise her in front of her friends...she might not like it!

He took out his phone and opened the chatbox.

Hi Lisa
Hope your classes went well
Do you wanna go for lunch with me?

Sent. He looked back up and after a second or two, saw her glancing at the screen of her phone. She then placed it back into her pocket and continue walking to the parking lot with her friends. Jungkook waited patiently for the reply. She got in her car...and still nothing. Reversed...drove off...and nothing.

...

WARNING: Explicit Content (Abusive scene)

Do not read the this part if you're uncomfortable with abusive/horrific scenes. Keep scrolling until you find the double separator (...). It's a short scroll.

Here's a summary instead: Jungkook dreamt of his past, where he was forced to participate in an abusive act.

Disclaimer: This is an insight of his past, which is necessary to understand. In no way do I acknowledge/support/encourage the behaviour in anyone. I DO NOT promote anger and hate. If you suffer from an abusive environment, please seek immediate help. If you need a friend to talk, I'm here for you.

...

My hands are trembling, the same way as eomma Kim's shoulders are. Her fearful eyes held no bitterness or anger, and I wanted to scream for it to come out. Appa Kim rushed back into the room, and the flash of shine on the knife blinded my eyes for a second. She cried louder as he gripped strongly on her hair, holding her head back.

Fight back...please fight him back...but I knew she can't. She's too small...too weak. The corner of her right lip had turned dark red, like the color of blood. You're so fucking useless! Do you think you deserve this?! You killed my son, do you think this can repay me?! 

He stomps - again and again - on the Mother's Day card I made for her. She shouldn't have left it on the table...she should've hidden it somewhere safe - somewhere he couldn't see. If you wanna feel good about it, why don't you just die? A life for a life right? He brought the knife up to her neck, and her sobs became more of an echo. One loud...and slowly becoming softer...little by little. I sit quietly and shut my eyes.

I don't wanna see this...please...please, someone...help her!!

...

...

Jungkook shot up trembling. His neck feels warm yet cold, and he knew he'd been sweating. He took three deep breaths to calm the fast pumping of his heart, then rubbed his face. A dream...just a dream...it's fine...

He got up and pour a glass of water in the kitchen. It's dark outside, and even in. He took his time breathing in the silence that he's so used to all his life. It somehow felt weird tonight. His eyes landed on the balcony, where her infectious giggles, soft hushes and kind mutterings linger. 

What happened to that? Why is she ignoring me? Did I do something to make her suddenly switched off entirely? What did I do - I can't think of anything! She asked me to text her once I'm home...and I did. Or maybe...maybe that kiss was really a goodbye kiss. Maybe she already made up her mind to not get involved with me much earlier than that...but she didn't wanna let me know that she's not interested? And this is her way of showing? 

Jungkook groaned and leaned his head down on the kitchen counter, frustrated at the sudden turn of event. All he wanted is to shout, but he can't. It'll wake up the neighbors, which is not in his options since he's been doing so well at keeping himself lowkey all this while!

Speaking of which, he needs to start packing. He's meeting the new landlord for the key to the new house tomorrow, and it will take around 3 to 4 days for him to sort out where he'll be hiding his weapons before he could arrange for the delivery of all his belongings. He needs to let the shop know where to send the new mattress too.

I'll give them a call tomorrow...I need a distraction from her anyway! Right...focus on moving!

...