It felt good...fuck that - it felt awesome! Jungkook can't help his relieved smile of being able to finally tell someone about his past. It's not everything, of course...and most of the wicked things are still being kept in the dark - but this is the first time that he actually talked about Mr and Mrs Kim, and he felt a little liberated in that sense. Someone other than himself would know eomma Kim...and remember her as this kind, loving mother. He hopes Lisa sees her the way he did.

But when he turned to face her worried face, the hope slowly dissipates. Her look is somewhat pitiful - as if she feels sorry for him - which is not at all what he wanted. Her eyes are glistening and it looked like she cried. 

Was it...too sad for her? Or is she scared of him now? She only knew half of it and she's already afraid...where is this really going? 

"You're so strong...I bet she is too,"

Oh...Jungkook flashed her a fake smile. That's far from true...on my part at least! 

Despite the chill and revelation of his past, she's still being kind. She's still here and it's all that matters, right? Yes...for now, that's all that matters. 

...

Everything became more obvious to her once Jungkook had revealed his background. Suddenly every single actions made perfect sense. Like how he would automatically dipped his head down when he enters a shop - as if he didn't want people to remember his face. The way he stood or sat still when in a crowded room. He's obviously not used to being around people and now she knew why. Jeju fits perfectly in the puzzle now and she felt stupid for misunderstanding all of his remarks from that night at the cliff.

She wondered if there's any comfort she can provide to him...something that would somehow mend the hole in his life. It must've been so lonely for him to carry so much that he had no control of. Lisa couldn't even imagine living without her parents and he lost two. She could sense that it wasn't even half of the things he has, burdening on his mind, but she didn't mind. She wanted to know...only what's good enough in his heart for her to know. 

They had talked and joked more after, which had become amazingly easier. They walked some more without an idea or purpose of where they were going, but it felt nice. The randomness of meeting Jungkook alone is nice. She bought him an ice-cream along their way and watching him pick out the flavour was cute. Chocolate mint - she kept that in mind. 

At this point, Lisa considered herself lucky to have met him. Of course, walking by his side gave her that sense of pride - even if they're not holding hands and there's no way of her claiming him as her own. It's really hard not to notice other women staring at him. But there's also those dangerously fitting quality about the guy...his shy smile and the concerns showing in his frowns - as if he's carefully thinking about what to do or what to say next. The fact that he didn't want the attention made him even more attractive...for some reason!

Both are now hungry and had stopped by a restaurant. She pointed on this place as she liked the gomtang here but as they stood in front of the queueing line, she realized how it may not be the best idea. He already had his hands in his pockets - probably a way to calm himself for the busy and bustling crowd inside. It makes her feel bad.

"Do you um..." She turned to him all of a sudden. Just wing it! "Do you wanna just take-away? We can eat at my place...or yours - whichever you're more comfortable with,"

...

His apartment is a studio. It's very...neat...and minimal. There aren't much furniture around. The first thing she saw as he led her into the space is his bed, framed on the platformed flooring. It made her nervous. On her left are 3 computers on a long table - with what she assumed are neatly stacks of paperworks - then a small wardrobe and a full-sized mirror. The balcony is covered with a black, sheer curtain - with the sliding door replacing the entire wall.

"Watch your step here, the floorboard's a bit creaky," He pointed slightly farther on his right, and she smiled at the fact that he knew exactly where the sound would come from. 

On her right is the small kitchen, separated by a small island counter. There's a small door, to which she assumed is the store, then another door. It's probably the bathroom. There are no dining table, and she only spotted one chair at his work space. There's a big gap between the bed to the walls, which made the place looked even bigger than how a normal studio apartment would seem. There's no television, but she noticed a vinyl record player on a small table next to the bed. 

"Sorry...I didn't expect any guests, so it's a bit messy," He took the few black jackets off the bed and proceed to the wardrobe.

Messy? Damn...only 3 jackets on the bed and he calls it 'messy'. 

Lisa thanked the universe in silence for making him choose his place instead of hers! He would've flipped if they're there now! 

"I um...I'm sorry I didn't think this through. I normally eat by myself so..." He ruffled on his hair, looking irritated with himself but she thought he looked hot. Especially in this dimmed, yellow lighting!

"What's the view like? Should we eat at the balcony?" 

"Like...on the floor?"

"I don't mind," 

"Oh, I have a rug! Let me um," He went to the door near the kitchen and she smiled to herself for guessing it right!

...

He had watched the sunset for almost everyday for the past 6 months since he's been in this place, but today's probably the most beautiful. The burst of honey had turned burgundy, and they slowly watched how the blues turned into violet. The splash and its process covered the streets and buildings as far as their eyes can see, and the lights from it shined like stars on earth - flickering as if they're seeking for the sky to somehow reciprocate its intention.

Jungkook glanced to the girl next to him, who's equally in awe - if not more - with the mesmerizing view. She's really a doll to stare at. Everything about her face sits beautifully, perfectly. Even from the side, he could see her big eyes shining with delight. She's so incredible...so kind and so brave, to be sitting here with him. 

"Wow...I rarely look out the window...now I regret it," Her voice is small and breathy. The little smile at the corner of her lips reflects her sentiment of wonder, and he can't look away. What had he done to be this lucky - to be helped by her that night, and to be sitting here with her now? "Have you ever wondered who your parents are?"

Jungkook turns back to the skyline which had gotten darker. "I knew who they are,"

"You do? Have you tried contacting them?"

"You can't contact someone who's already gone," He ignored the pain in his chest, as well as her gaze on him.

"Oh...I'm sorry, Jungkook,"

"It's fine. I don't know much about them anyway,"

"You don't have to do that, you know," He looks back at her, not quite understanding. "You don't have to act like you're not bothered by it. You have this look," She scoots closer and stares at him as if she's studying him. Jungkook's heart beats faster at the close proximity. "When you told me about eomma Kim at the restaurant, this is your look. But when you talked about her at the park, it's different. Told you I'm not that oblivious,"

It made him smile down to his lap, slightly shaking his head. He never thought of her that way, but it's cute that she pointed it out!

"That's one of the first thing I searched for when I got the hang of the internet. I actually asked for a job there...just so I can use the computers. A lot of Jeons...it was really hard to find. I found one news article of a car accident. Parents killed in a crash, toddler survived. I didn't wanna assume, so I continued searching. But I always ended up going back to the article. They showed pictures of the man and woman and...I don't know...I felt like I knew them, but I don't know when. So, after a lot of thinking, I decided that maybe it's them," He lied. He can't simply say that he hacked into Nam Kwang Social Welfare system, can he?

"You're amazing," He caught her eyes, shining as if she meant it. "You're so strong to have gone through that and still be here, surviving on your own all these while. I don't think I could've done it...and I bet a lot of people would feel discourage as well. You're probably one in a million, you know that right?"

"No...I don't," It's all he could manage. She's bringing out the vulnerability in him and he's not sure how to deal with it. At this very moment, he felt like a fragile glass, ready to break with a single shot of the softest feather.

"You are. You should know that. Thank you...for sharing it with me," He felt her warm hand on his cold one. "For trusting me enough to listen to it," Her voice is small and it drifts with lingering sadness. 

He found himself catching on the cold air as sorrow began creeping in his chest. It really hits him that it's the first time he had allowed anyone into his past. To have someone close to him, talking to him and treating him like an actual living being instead of just a shadow that comes and goes. For the first time ever, he finds himself really, desperately wanting to exist. Jungkook closed his eyes and felt the first drop of tear.

But how can this be? She's wrong...and I'm so tired...I don't wanna do it anymore - I don't wanna kill anymore! I don't wanna lie to her, but I can't tell her my truth! She'll run! And I'll have nowhere to go anymore - where do I go? I'd have to run again - fuck, I'm so tired!

"Shh...it's okay. Nothing will hurt you again," He felt her hand softly grazing on the back of his neck and in his hair, as she leaned his head on her chest while he's lost in his own despair.

...

He stopped and switched off the motorbike engine, right where he picked her up this afternoon. His feet are planted steadily on the ground, holding and balancing them firmly in this quiet night. It's the end of their date. Her heart feels heavy and the thought of parting with him is strangely upsetting. The day had felt so fast, it's not enough.

He didn't move, and Lisa allowed herself to think that he might be feeling the same way. After a few seconds, she felt his cold fingers covering her hand - still wrapped around his waist. It made her smile a little. She rests her cheeks on his back and embrace the comfortable silence between them. She knew she'd eventually have to let him go but for now...this is nice.

"It's getting cold...and I'm sure you're tired. I don't want you to get sick,"

How am I supposed to let go when he's being sweet like this??

"I'm not that tired," She heard him chuckle. "And this keeps me warm," She felt his shoulder tensed and it made her nervous. You're scaring him - stop it!!

Lisa got off and sighed as she hands over the helmet to him. She then fixed her bangs while he ties the strap across the handle. 

"So um...thank you...for today. I had a good time,"

"Y-yeah...me too...a really good time," His eyes are kind...and his smile is lovely. 

She can't help but smiles shyly to the ground, shifting from one foot to the other. "So uh...text me once you reach home?"

"I will,"

"Okay..." She hesitated before backing away slowly, aware that he's gazing at her intently. God...I really wanna just - 

She shook her head and waved goodbye, sighing another big smile before turning around. After a few steps, she faced him again. He's still looking at her with those shining eyes...aish fuck it!!

She hopped back to the bike and planted a quick kiss on his cheek, taking him by surprise. Then she ran to her lobby at full speed - with her pumping heart and shivering, smiling lips!

...