Confused

I felt as if I didn't even deserve to be sad because I have a family
and friends who love me and I have a job that I very much enjoy.

I felt selfish and that I didn't deserve to be listened to as I
tried to formulate sentence after sentence with
lighthearted cheer when I felt like death.

When I watched others talking over text I felt
left out even though I'm almost sure they didn't
mean to leave me feeling worse than I already was.

I've felt so much anger and hatred towards myself
lately that there wasn't enough space within my
riddled mind to see the help and support I've received.

But I also felt as if I didn't deserve happiness,
so what am I supposed to feel?

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