Friends

When I'm too sad to function I tend to close in on myself, avoiding my friends;
like a jellyfish might stay away from a sea urchin to avoid getting stung.
But when I eventually come out of hiding I get see who my friends really are;
the ones who stay, the ones who wait, the ones who say
'welcome back' in their own unique way.
I don't have time for the other kind, the kind that didn't miss me
or even wonder if I was
still alive or not,
the kind that say 'oh you're back. We prefered it when you
were gone to be honest.'
Real friends are the ones that lift me up and
make me feel as if I am worth talking to,
worth being around, ones who listen to what I have to say.
These are kinds of ways in which I try to treat my friends.
They tell me I am a good friend and I try to believe them,
but they always seem so much better than me that I'm in awe of them all.
But when I'm too sad to function I forget that people care about me
and tend to hide because
it's too exhausting to always
have to be happy in case I am deemed as 'too depressing'.

Thanks for reading