What would happen if I died?

I had said once to my counselor "I plan to kill myself via car crash when I'm 18". He said I was being overdramatic.

But I was only telling the truth.

I'm 16 now and that way of death doesn't displeased me.

I believe I will bring nothing but suffering to everyone by the time I'm 18.

I've done nothing to prove myself wrong.

I bring nothing to the world.

It's bleak and hallow.

I have nothing to look forward to.

Even my baby brother, whom I love so much, doesn't make me stop thinking about dying.

I want to give myself a chance but it's getting so close to the age of 18 and I've done nothing.

Trying to get help for myself was wrong in my parents eyes. Talking about my emotions are never good. My option doesn't matter. I bring nothing.

I get in fights with my siblings, I say too much, I don't do enough.

I'm rather useless...

Dying at the ripe age of 18 wouldn't be so bad. A car accident would just be that-- an accident.

No questions. No added grief. Nothing. Just an 18 year old dead by car crash.

It'd be the best option.

I can't find any reason for living. Sure, I write good books but what else? Most of them are unfinished. Nobody even cares. I don't do anything.

I'm nothing.

I want to die so badly. Everyday, I'm always thinking die.

I want to hurt myself everyday. I want to make sure I don't wake back up. I want to float away and leave my family behind in the world of living.

I don't care how many times people say they're there for me; Nobody has proven that to be true. I don't care who I hurt emotionally... Nobody ever cared for me emotionally.

I have nothing that keeps me attached to this world. Even my family, who I loved so dearly as a child, has ceased to make me want to live.

I decide to die at 18.

18...

Only two more years.

I hope I can make it the best two years I can. If not... well, that wouldn't phase me much...