I did what I could to avoid Devon unless absolutely necessary.

November had pressed on with about as much normalcy as I could have hoped for. I took a few meetings here and there - mostly with Raf, thankfully. I was almost certain Devon was trying to avoid me as much as I was trying to avoid him.

I had to believe Raf's comment he made to me at Maddox Madsen's show wasn't meant to be taken too seriously. He did after all say maybe and dunno. Nothing had happened since then to even imply otherwise - the band was starting to work on new music (as a collective unit), and we'd just scheduled them for an appearance at NPR's Tiny Desk in a few weeks, under the condition that they'd perform one of those new songs they were working on. So, I allowed myself to shelf his offhand comment away in the back closets of my mind.

The Green Inferno was still my only full-time client that I didn't share with anyone else at the firm. A few months ago, I would have started to get fussy about that, wondering why my hard work and commitment hadn't led me to bigger opportunities. Now, I wasn't even sure I wanted those opportunities. I just didn't know what I wanted at all, and the fact that I was even questioning it was enough to have me reeling.

Maybe it was a combination of those things that compelled me to see Kevin when he texted me that he was in the city and wanted to meet up. It's not like it was a date. We were catching up as friends, and we ended the tour on a very pleasant note - so to speak.

Bad Beans was now officially bad vibes for me (thanks Devon), so I met Kevin at a different coffee shop in SoHo (since there were thankfully 500 to choose from). Gray clouds rolled overhead, giving the November air a much cooler feel without the sun, but we sat outside at a wooden slatted table at Felix Roasters. After we got through a few niceties, he scooted forward in his chair and leaned on the table. The sleeves of his jacket rode up just enough to show the beginnings of his tattooed arms.

"Anyway, I actually wanted to ask you something kind of important."

I hadn't known Kevin all that long, but handling something important didn't exactly seem to be in his wheelhouse, so what he was about to ask me could really have been anything. I put my coffee down and nodded at him.

"Okay, what's up?"

"I was wondering if you'd be willing to design some merch for Beyond the Pines."

Well, that wasn't even in the realm of what I considered anything. My perplexed silence seemed to fluster Kevin.

"We'd compensate you, obviously," he added. "We all just really liked some of the designs you did for the Green Inferno. I know you still work for them and all that, but I figured since this isn't what you normally do....I mean, I hoped it would be okay. Like freelancing or something."

"Freelance merch design?" I arched an eyebrow. I wasn't sure why I was having such a tough time processing this. I certainly wanted to do it, but could I actually do it? "I mean, I'm flattered, but...wasn't that tour your last one?"

"Yeah, about that..." Kevin rubbed the back of his neck. "We may have hinted to Red Tide that we had another album in us. So that's why we're in New York to begin with, but all that business talk is for our manager."

I nodded in understanding. I'd heard Red Tide Records thrown around a few times while on tour - Beyond the Pines was one of the label's top bands, and thus the Green Inferno lusted to be signed by them. Red Tide Records was the standard in heavy rock and metal music.

Then Kevin hit me with the closer.

"If we're doing this - and I think we are - I want it all designed by you."

I sat back in my chair to take in his words, feeling the cold of the wood through the new Free People argyle printed sweater that had been delivered while I was away. Being back in New York also meant I had access to my full closet for the first time in a month, and I guess I was overeager to wear something new. I hadn't brought a jacket, and I was regretting it.

"Wow," I breathed out. "That's...wow."

I'd been looking for a sign since we got back to the city, but this whole time I'd had my gaze upwards to the sky, hoping for something like a bolt of lightning to shock some sense into me. Instead, I realized what I should have been looking for was closer to the ground, and maybe a path that had been dimly lit all along. I was just too blinded by my own insecurities to see it.

Kevin shifted in his chair. "You don't have to give me an answer now, but-"

"You know what? Yeah, let's do it." I smiled at him, and he smiled right back.

"Wow, okay, great. I mean, I...honestly I didn't know what you were gonna say. I know I told you while we were on tour that you were talented, but I wasn't sure if you really understood how much I meant it. I still mean it."

He really was a decent guy. Maybe in another life we would have been more than friends.

"That means a lot to me," I told him with a subdued sincerity. "And I mean that, too."

Kevin offered me another smile before looking down at his phone. "I gotta get going to a meeting, but obviously we'll be in touch."

"Sounds good."

He got up from his chair, and there was an unexpected warmth to him as he leaned down to press a kiss to my cheek. He gave my arm a quick squeeze before folding himself into the mid afternoon SoHo crowd.

I kept my seat at Felix for a while, casually people watching to distract from the sudden uncertainty of my future. I'd always had everything planned out for myself, and I thought I was so sure of what my life would look like two years from now, five years from now, and maybe even ten years from now. But instead, I was starting to realize that maybe the best things truly were the things you didn't plan or prepare for.

Needless to say, I was horribly unprepared for him to sit down at the table across from me. He looked devilishly good in a thick black leather jacket, his hair just slightly tousled in the wind. Great, now he was going to ruin this coffee shop for me too.

"What do you want?" I made no effort to hide the bite in my voice. If there was one thing I was sure of, it was that I was done playing games with Devon McCall. "One month on a tour bus together wasn't enough of me for you?"

Devon rolled his eyes. "For your information, I come to this cafe all the time. I live down the street. I just happened to be here and happened to see you."

I tried not to let the shock of how casually Devon had slipped in the information that he and I had lived in such close proximity all this time show on my face.

I scoffed and sat back in my chair, folding my arms over my chest. It was getting colder, and I didn't want my chills to be so apparent either. "There are eight million people in this city, Devon. Can't you bother someone else?"

"Not when you make it so easy for me." Devon mirrored my movements, leaning back in his chair and draping an arm over the back of it. "I mean come on, Kevin? He's like, 35."

A fuse had been lit in me, and I felt the angry sparking snaking up my body, burning every part it touched. It settled in my throat, waiting for me to open my mouth and let it explode. I didn't even want to give him the satisfaction of letting him know the truth, because he didn't deserve it. I could barely find my own satisfaction in the fact that he was clearly jealous.

But I did deserve the truth from him, and if he wanted to so willingly present a target for me, I'd take the shot.

"I don't understand you, Devon," I hissed out. "We kiss on your birthday, then you want to act like it didn't happen, then you pull this weird jealous bullshit-"

"Woah hold on," Devon leaned forward on his elbows and held his hand up. "You kissed me."

I leaned forward to meet him, glaring him down while simultaneously trying not to let the clean, rain scent of his cologne waver me. "It takes two people to kiss, Devon."

"What are you, twelve?"

Despite how close we were, neither one of us refused to back away until a clap of thunder separated us as if lightning had struck the empty sliver of space right between us.

Devon's shoulders shuddered as he heaved out a breath, and I wasn't sure if it was the weather or this conversation that suddenly had him on edge. Faint raindrops began to stain the surface of the wooden table, but it wasn't enough to deter either of us. He stayed, as if he was waiting for the truth from me too.

Fine. If he wanted the truth, I'd give it to him. Truth fucking hurts.

"I think you like me," I said with a fierce assuredness. "In fact, I know you do. I think it burns you up that I got over those walls you tried so hard to hide behind, and that I see you for what you really are."

"So you're a know-it-all now too?" A sneer crossed his lips, but there was hurt behind it. "Enlighten me then. What am I?"

"You're a miserable little boy." I felt the words burn against my tongue. It also hurts to hurt someone, even if you were telling the truth. "You self-sabotage everything because you've let people back you into a corner and force you into thinking you don't deserve anything. I'm sorry that happened to you Devon, really I am, but I'm done letting you take that out on me."

I was determined to have the last word for once, so I grabbed my bag and aggressively scraped my chair back from the table before getting up and walking away. Admittedly, there was also part of me that thought maybe, just maybe, it was enough for him to come after me.

I wasn't sure how surprised I was that he actually did, grabbing my wrist to stop me. When I turned to look up at him, he'd slipped the cold-hearted mask he wore off, and that delicate creature I had come to know had reappeared. Rain drops trickled down his cheeks, and his eyes darkened like the sky above.

"You do see me." His voice was low, but I still heard it with ringing clarity. "More than you even know."

There were in fact eight million people in this city, and yet with one glance he made it feel like it was just the two of us and 32,000 empty streets. Another clap of thunder forced us together this time, close enough for me to count the faded web of freckles under his eyes. Our clothes began to dampen in the oncoming rain, and the ache of wanting him swelled up inside of me like a rising tide.

"Devon..." I sighed his name out like a prayer, and clearly some kind of god had answered as the skies opened up, dropping a wall of water down on us.

"Shit," I groaned, feeling myself transform into a drowned rat in one fell swoop.

"Let's get out of here." Devon slipped off his jacket and draped it over my head, wrapping his arms around my waist to lead me down the street. We stopped at a weathered black inset doorway, and it felt like an eternity of shivering as Devon punched in a code on the keypad on the side of the doorway. He led me into a narrow apartment entryway similar to mine - nothing but a steep stairway and a row of metal mailboxes off to the side.

"You weren't kidding when you said you lived close by," I chuckled, tying my wet hair up onto my head so I didn't drip all over the place. My soaked jeans had suctioned themselves to my legs, and my new sweater had become nothing but a used mop.

"I'm just a flight up, if you want to...wait it out, or whatever." Devon leaned over and glanced out the window of the door, where cars driving by splashed waves onto unsuspecting people running to find cover.

"Sure," I breathed out. "Sounds good."

Devon led me up the creaking stairway to the next floor, pulling out a bundle of keys to unlock apartment 1E. The coat of black paint on the door was chipped all along the edges, and he threw his shoulder against it to unstick it from the doorway.

"Oh, here." I handed him his leather jacket, and he hung it on a rack beside the door. All the hooks were topped with magic 8 balls, and I smiled to myself as I slipped my damp boots off and walked across the carpet into the apartment.

It was one big studio with high ceilings and exposed brick walls along the left and right sides. A few framed posters of vintage horror movies hung above a black leather couch to the left, and mismatched bar stools were pressed up against a small kitchen island. Underneath the window at the far end of the studio was a raised platform, with Devon's bed of gray and black sheets neatly made on top of it. In the corner by the foot of the bed was a scattered pile of musical equipment, including a keyboard and a few small speakers, along with a desk with a few high tech looking monitors.

"What is it?" Devon appeared beside me, and I realized my uncharacteristic silence must have stunned him.

"Oh, nothing." I shook my head, offering him a faint smile. "It's just...this is totally how I pictured your apartment looking."

"You've imagined my apartment?" More stunned.

"One or two times," I admitted softly.

Devon shook his head, and as he brushed by me I caught sight of the faintest smirk on his lips. He walked over to the platform, rummaging through the two drawers at the bottom.

"You can borrow some clothes so you're not sitting around all wet."

My face flushed as a handful of very traitorous thoughts blistered through my mind. There was the thought of being in his clothes, and his smell lingering on me. Then as I watched him rise to his feet, his shirt tight across his shoulders and his hair damp and tousled at his temples, I was reminded that I was in fact wet. Yikes, yikes, yikes.

I blinked it all away and suddenly he was right in front of me, with a t-shirt and shorts in his hand.

"Here." The softness of his voice curled my insides, and when I took the clothes from his hands, there was a sparking between us. I was sure he noticed it too as he recoiled instinctively.

"Thanks," came out in a breathy sigh.

When he moved to take a step away, I dropped his clothes to the floor so I could reach for his hand, pulling him in closer to me than he was before.

"Don't," I pleaded, my voice still barely a whisper. "Don't go. Not this time."

He kept his dark eyes on me, searching for hesitation on my face, but there was none to be found. Despite the uncertainty of a lot of things in my future, I felt strangely certain of this. It truly was just me and him now, alone in a room. My body buzzed with electricity as his hand found the bottom hem of my sweater, his fingers slowly and almost uneasily lifting it to brush my bare skin. Water dripped off of both of us, leaving dark spots on the light gray of the carpet.

"You shouldn't wear wet clothes." He mumbled. "You'll get sick."

The implications were there, and it ravaged my entire body with white hot fire. "Do something about it then. For my own safety, and all."

And then he kissed me with all the power he could muster, making up for all these days and weeks of emotional turmoil between us, and as if we should have been kissing all along.

This was nothing like the first time. This was hungry and needy and desperate. I brought my hands up around the back of his neck, feeling water drip from the damp locks of his hair. Without breaking our embrace, he guided me to the couch, dropping us into it and pulling me onto his lap.

A moan of pleasure escaped me as he parted my lips with his tongue, and I gripped the damp fabric of his t-shirt as if my life depended on it.

"Are you alright?" he pulled away just slightly, breathing his words against my lips.

"I will be as long as you keep kissing me like that." I was begging, and I didn't care. "I want you so badly, Devon."

I felt him shudder underneath me. "You do?"

I held his face in my hands, and something flickered in his eyes like stars in a dark sky. "So badly. Now get this off of me, I'm soaked."

Devon's face flushed as he looked at me with wide eyes.

"Get your head out of the gutter," I muttered in his ear, and I felt him melt underneath me. "You knew what I meant."

"Sure," he replied with a faint smirk. "Don't start what you can't finish, Sienna."

"I can finish," I mirrored his smirk. "Don't you worry."

We peeled each other's wet tops off, sending stray water drops into the air like confetti. My hair stuck to my cheeks in damp clumps, and Devon reached up to brush my hair off of my face.

"You're beautiful," he breathed into my mouth. "So fucking beautiful."

This time when we came together, it was primal and wild in the way animals wanted each other, uninhibited and untamed. Purely instinctive. We moaned and groaned into each other's mouths, grabbing onto anything and everything we could to brace ourselves. I moved my mouth down his neck and to his collarbone, and the moan he let out sounded like all his demons leaving his body at once.

"You like that, huh?" I smirked against his tattooed skin, and he groaned again in response.

With my lips still on his neck, I reached down and unbuttoned his jeans, and he let out an audible sigh of relief as I slid my hand down his underwear. He was already hard as a rock, and the way he ached and throbbed as I stroked him had me aching and throbbing to feel him inside of me.

"You better stop," he breathed out. "I already feel like I'm gonna blow."

I obliged, and the moment we kicked our pants to the floor, it was like the final safety had been switched off, and he flipped us so that my back was pressed into the couch. We kissed and we kissed and we kissed until my lips were chapped and my heart was ready to explode into a thousand butterflies.

"Tell me you want me," he moaned into my ear, his breath heavy and desperate. "I need to hear it again."

"I want you Devon," I replied as I peppered kisses to his neck, feeling his body shudder under my touch.

The Devon I knew in the outside world needed validation despite being good at something. I shouldn't have been surprised it spilled into more intimate things, despite being...gifted with size. But like everything else in the outside world, I wanted him to know just how good he could be.

"Go on," I urged him. "Fuck me like you mean it."

I watched the light leave his eyes, replaced with something devious and hedonic. He nodded and pressed his hand into the cracked leather of the couch as he slid himself inside me, and the sound he made sent dizzying, carnal lust ripping through every nerve in my body. It was the kind of sound you expected from someone who sang the way he did. Euphoric and otherworldly.

His thrusts were hard and frantic as he squeezed me tightly, as if he was afraid I'd come undone if he let go. It was one thing to fuck someone you pick up at a bar or even gone on a few dates with, but it was another thing entirely to have sex someone you've had literal dreams about, because even though we were cold and wet and crammed onto his couch, the feeling of him exceeded any dream I could have had about him.

"Oh god, Devon," I groaned into his neck. "You feel so fucking good."

I kept telling him because he needed to hear it. He should hear it.

He sat up and lifted my leg over his shoulder, thrusting himself harder and deeper into me as if someone had just flipped his switch to overdrive. He squeezed my thighs as if he wanted to leave bruises of his fingerprints, and I had to reach up to grip the side of the couch so we didn't go sliding off of it.

"Easy, easy," I urged softly, running my hands down his stomach and tracing swirling lines of ink on his body.

"Sorry," he sighed out. "I...I haven't done this in a while."

"Don't ever be sorry." I reached for his hands, lacing his fingers between mine. "Just...savor it."

He came down close to me again and slowed his hips to a deep, methodical rocking, and the feeling of him so full inside of me forced my hands down onto the couch, desperate to grip onto something.

"How's this?" He whispered in my ear, and the feeling of his breath on my still damp skin sent a chill down me.

"Oh yes," I moaned as I arched my back up to meet him in response. "You feel so good Devon. So fucking good."

I found his hips with my hands and ran my thumbs along the crease in his hips, and his body curved itself so deeply into mine I thought we might have become one person.

My name in his mouth lit my heart on fire. "Oh fuck, Sienna. How do you know just where to touch me?"

He buried his face in my neck, and as I ran my lips along his ear as I whispered, "Lucky guess. Are you gonna come for me Devon?"

"God, yes," he choked out.

"Now go harder."

He did as I told him, biting down on my shoulder as he groaned into my skin. He shifted my whole world off its axis with every deep thrust, and the way my insides began burning up made me think I might actually come first. I saw stars as everything inside me exploded, and the way I moaned his name was as if I was performing an exorcism. I hadn't thought about it until this moment, but I really hoped his walls were thick.

I felt him shudder as he finished, finally releasing my shoulder from his mouth. We moaned into each other's necks, desperate for air as we slowly came back down to earth.

But wet and cold and crammed onto Devon's couch was exactly where on earth I wanted to be. I was sure of it.

⋆ ★

you're welcomeeeee hope this wasn't terrible i'm still just a baby when it comes to smut scenes ok bye! <3

also normalize boys not being playboys and sleeping around!