I wished I wasn't so acutely aware of how differently I looked at Devon since that night by the pool. I mean, how could I not? From the way his shoulders would sway just slightly if he'd heard even the faintest tune, to the way he'd absentmindedly reach up and run his thumb down the faded silvery scar engraved in the tattoo in his neck when he was deep in thought. Everything he did seemed so calculated and intentional and yet so natural. This was just the way he was.

I knew things about him that maybe I wasn't supposed to know, but I couldn't unlearn it all now. It cast a different light on him - what was once a dark and angry red was now a deep, enticing blue, like the kind of ocean water you feel compelled to jump in from a cliff, and I felt the call of the void pull me closer and closer to the edge.

As if the universe was keyed into my every turbulent thought, the lights on stage quite literally changed to blue as Devon stood off-center where Evie normally stood, and he strummed along on her white bass guitar while she took her place in front of the microphone and crooned out her version of The Grey.

I did it to myself, tried to be someone else

I let it tear me down and I'll never be the same

Even though it was Evie singing now, I knew they were Devon's words (and I knew them all by now), and it was impossible not to hear him differently now, too. I wondered what really happened to him in that Upper East Side penthouse that galvanized all his angsty lyrics. I wondered how many more instruments he could play with such finesse and ease. I wondered what made him decide to turn away from it all.

The other problem with learning things you weren't really supposed to know was that the chase for information became addicting. I wanted to know more about him now than I ever did, and I wished I didn't. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but curiosity would give me and whatever this feeling was that horribly irritated my insides away, and honestly, I would rather it just kill me like the cat.

This was Devon McCall we were talking about here (it even felt wrong to call him by his real name) - attitude problem extraordinaire, the Prince of Darkness himself, and decidedly not someone who would return my curiosity anyway.

He was also, technically, my employer, however temporary that may be, and I reminded myself of that fact as I wiggled through the thin crowd to get close to the stage at the Iron Horse, camera in hand. Out of the three venues we'd been to so far, this one was the most intimate. It was a narrow room with a low stage, putting you up close and personal to the band. I could reach up and pinch the hem of his t-shirt between my fingers. If I wanted to, that is.

They finished another song to a smattering of applause, but most of the patrons were either back by the bar, or sitting up on the second story balcony that overlooked the small space that the stage and general standing admission occupied. Dim string lights were wrapped around the railings and hung from the ceiling, and they'd flicker as surges of music filled the air.

Devon cleared his throat as he raised the microphone back up to his towering Slenderman height, and he reached up and fingered the scar on his neck again.

"We're gonna do something a little different tonight," he said into the microphone, his tattooed fingers wrapped tightly around it. If you hadn't known he'd strained his voice just a few days ago, you'd never realize it from the way he sounded. Every word was satisfyingly smooth and effortlessly articulate, and captivating in a way that could get you to do almost anything simply by asking. I doubt he knew that, otherwise I was sure he would take advantage of it.

"I know everyone here knows this song, and if you say you don't, you're lying."

His lips lifted into a faint smirk (the subtle kind I'd seen from him before, where he tried to hide his fangs) as he garnered a few chuckles from the group of people lingering close to the stage. I wondered if they felt as captivated as I did. They must have, because suddenly it seemed like small throngs of people had now inched their way closer to the stage.

Even though I'd heard them rehearse the song just a few hours ago, performing it now to a crowd and under the heat of the stage lights was different. Despite his misgivings, Devon was a natural performer. As soon as the crowd realized what song it was, a bunch of them cheered out and clapped, and seemingly all at once more people flocked towards the stage from wherever they had deemed more interesting before. Suddenly, he was the only thing anyone was interested in.

When the first chorus hit and the crowd started to sing along, it seemed to inject something into Devon that I hadn't seen yet. His shoulders swayed with more assuredness, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say he was having a good time? Being as close to him as I was, I could see the light radiate in his eyes as he sang.

Evie and Clark were clearly feeling it too as they did a little in-tune switcheroo from one side of the stage to the other. When Evie passed behind Devon, she reached over to smack his ass, and the look of comical shock on his face was endearing as all hell. The shock morphed into laughter, and I wondered if this was what he used to be like.

"They're better than I thought they'd be," some random hipster bro standing next to me had to lean over to yell.

"They're great," I responded with a definitive sting to my tone. "They're so fucking great."

I meandered from one side of the stage to the other with my phone still up and filming just in time to catch Devon and Evie go in together on the bridge. They bounced off each other in perfect harmony, and the crowd noise swelled again. I'd blinked and suddenly I was surrounded by people.

When he turned back to face the crowd, it shouldn't have been surprising that his gaze found mine, but when the lights hit his eyes, my heart exploded, releasing a thousand butterflies to wreak havoc inside my body. And then he smiled, so purely and so brightly that I thought I might have been staring into the sun.

Wow.

The word escaped me before I realized I'd said it out loud, but thankfully it had been swallowed up in a sea of cheers and jeers as the entire room filled with people singing the chorus to No Scrubs.

When the set was finished, I rushed backstage with my heart in my throat. It couldn't have gone more perfectly, and a sense of pride swelled in me, swallowing up whatever was still fluttering around inside of me.

"Oh my god, that was amazing." Evie squealed as I flung my arms around her. She pulled away at arms' length, reaching up to squeeze my cheeks. "Have I told you you're a genius? Because you're a genius."

"I try, I try." I smiled until my cheeks hurt (probably from her squeezing).

Another body had appeared beside me, and I was so overwhelmed with joy that my instinct was to jump into their arms too. I realized it was Devon just a moment too late, and my whole body lurched as I desperately tried to slam on the brakes, stopping myself just as I'd taken hold of his forearms. He held onto mine too, confusion twisting up his face. 

"Ohmygod, I..." I released his arms as if he'd electrocuted me. It sure as hell felt like he had, the singe of where his fingertips had pulsed against my skin still lingering. "I mean...good job, Devon."

"T-thanks..." he stammered, taking no care to hide the giant step backwards he took. "You, uh...you did alright, Polly Pocket."

I breathed out a relieved sigh as I felt my heart lift in my chest. "I know."

"Don't let it get to your head," he grumbled before stalking off to convene with Clark and Gareth. Gareth had lost his construction vest during the set (and by lost I mean flung it off excitedly into the crowd) and had now been bopping around entirely shirtless. His energy levels were unmatched even after a show, and I could only wish for that kind of stamina.

"Don't listen to him." Evie took my hands in hers and swayed our arms back and forth, but even that couldn't shake the static still buzzing across the surface of my skin. "We have to do that again. I haven't seen a crowd like that for us in a long time. Maybe ever."

"Good," I forced out a smile. "I'm glad."

Normally the satisfaction of doing something so right would have been enough. But over Evie's shoulder, my gaze found him again, seemingly without even trying, and all I wanted was for him to look at me back. As he and Gareth went on animatedly about something, he cracked another beaming smile. The sun was also a star, and he was the most beautiful star I'd ever seen.

⋆ ★

yeah, i'd say 46k words is a good amount of time for sienna to realize she may feel some type of way about devon, begrudgingly so of course. now just another 46k until they kiss 😅

BUT ALSO WHO COULD BLAME HER, THIS BOY HAS THE MOST ANGELIC SMILE (bless KROQ sound stage this weekend for this new bad omens content, truly. i have watched it multiple times)

originally this was all supposed to be part of the previous chapter which is why it's so short, but we NEEDED this piece in sienna's POV. i'm so fucking stoked for the next chapter - would love to hear your thoughts and predictions <3