AUTHOR POV

"Loki'd!" they shouted. The gang jumped out from various hiding spots and started laughing their brains out. 

"Oh, Astrid, that-- hahahaha--! That was the best thing ever!" Tuffnut laughed.

"Astrid, do that scream again! 'Aaaahhhh!'" Snotlout mimicked.

"Snotlout, this is the best idea you've ever had," Ruffnut said.

"Did you guys hear her? She said 'my Hiccup'!" Snotlout said.

Astrid remained in her position down on the floor, ignoring the gang's conversation and trying to comprehend what was happening.

Then, Hiccup popped up from the shadows.

"Hahaha! Oh, man, now that is how you prank a Hofferson!" Hiccup said. "Where did you guys get the fake body? I mean, this looks exactly like me!" 

"I borrowed some meat from the village storehouse and dressed it up," Fishlegs said. "It was difficult to find small pieces to fit your size, but we did it."

Astrid's veins raged with boiling blood, her fists clenching impossibly tighter. 

"Astrid?" Ruffnut checked. "Are you okay?"

"You... guys... think that... was funny?" Astrid growled.

The gang's hysterical laughter slowly died down as they realized what they had unleashed.

"It's just a prank, Astrid... look, there's the camera," Tuffnut said.

"You better run right now..." Astrid looked up and glared at them with killer eyes.

It only took a split second glance at those eyes before the gang started scrambling out of the cabin.

"Move! Move!" Snotlout shouted, pushing his friends out of the way.

"Run away! Don't let her catch you!" Tuffnut yelled, filled with both fright and glee.

Astrid chased after them, but they all jumped out of the window and started running into the woods. They all split up in different directions, forcing Astrid to concentrate on one target.

Surprisingly, Fishlegs got away quite easily,  carrying his large weight as fast as he could.

The gang successfully scattered off into the pitch black night... except for a certain teenager with a bit of a leg problem.

Hiccup limped as fast as he could, blabbering frantically as he slashed through the trees. He knew that he couldn't outrun Astrid. She would catch him eventually.

As Hiccup turned around, he saw Astrid only a few steps behind him. Hiccup gave up running, but she tackled him to the ground and postured up, mounting him with all her weight.

She pulled out her hidden knife from her boot and placed it on Hiccup's throat. The cold touch of the blade made Hiccup freeze like a solid log.

It was an obsidian knife given to her by her father. It was the extension of her most violent emotions. Hiccup had seen her use that knife to slaughter boars and sheep, and now it was resting on his exposed throat. The knife that she only used when she had complete intent to kill. A blade so sharp it could pierce his skin with the tiniest of her effort. 

In his head, Hiccup debated whether or not she would actually kill him. He knew they were close friends, but he also knew what she was capable of when she was angry. To add to his worries, Hiccup had provoked one of her most sensitive fears.

Astrid despised being scared.

"So... you think that was a clever idea, do you?" Astrid glared.

"Well, at the time, yes. Now, not so much..." Hiccup croaked.

Astrid wasn't amused at his response. "I am furious, Hiccup," she growled.

The blade pressed harder on his throat.

"I never thought you would do something like this. I mean, if you want to prank me, go ahead and dump raw fish on me or put yak dung in my bed. But this... this is going too far. You think seeing my best friend's dead body cut into pieces is something funny?" Astrid asked.

"No," he sighed. "I'm... I'm sorry. I didn't think it would bother you that much." Any trace of humor had long disappeared from Hiccup's mind.

"I hated it, Hiccup!"

Astrid clenched her jaw and glared into Hiccup's soul. She used her other hand to grab his hair and steady his head, preparing for the killing stroke.

Hiccup closed his eyes, accepting his fate. He's lived a pretty good life, and he admits this wasn't a bad way to go.

"Apologize to me!" 

"I'm sorry!" 

"Again!"

"I'm sorry, Astrid!" Hiccup screamed to the top of his lungs, tears starting to form on his eyes.

"Promise me you'll never do that again!" she said.

"I promise! I promise!" he said frantically.

Suddenly, Astrid pulled the knife away and slipped it back in her boot, causing Hiccup to sigh in relief.

"I won't kill you... but I'm not through with you yet--"

She snatched Hiccup's wrists and pressed them to the ground.

"Wait, what are you gonna do?" Hiccup eyes bulged out, deathly afraid of what she could be planning next.

"Just making sure you don't forget about this," Astrid said, seeming to be in a more playful mood. "Don't you know you should always be on my side, and never against me?"

Next, she began coughing harshly and made a terrible hocking sound.

"Oh, no! No! Not that! Not that!" Hiccup screamed.

A strand of green mucus slowly descended from her mouth. 

Hiccup squirmed around, trying desperately to get out of its path, but it was futile. The ground and her hands trapped his poor wrists, and his torso was caged by her legs. He wasn't going anywhere. The slime mercilessly approached his face. 

Astrid hovered her head over his, lowering the strand with a smirk on her face.

He kept thrashing around to escape but met no success. Hiccup knew his doom was near. 

"No! Help me! Anybody! Heellllppp!!!!"

It was nighttime, and they were alone in the forest. No one heard his cries for help.

She had a stern face, but Hiccup could tell from her eyes that she was laughing inside. Hiccup was wishing that he had been slaughtered by the ghost instead.

It was only supposed to go on his face, but all that screaming left his mouth exposed...

From then on, the young Dragon Master engraved it in his mind to always be on Astrid's side, whether it was for pranks or in any situation.

"So, are we even, now?" Hiccup asked, wiping his face with his sleeve.

"Not yet," Astrid chirped as she got off to let Hiccup sit up beside her.

"Oh, great. What do you have planned for me next? You gonna cut off my other leg?" Hiccup asked.

"I'll think about it and let you know," she said. "And then we're even."

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A/N: I remembered watching Brother Bear a long time ago and thought, "I have to include that spitting scene into my story."

[Next Chapter: Astrid reveals her next plans for Hiccup]