8. Friends with Jimin?

“Ema, you can’t live all alone in your suite. If I didn’t check on you today, you and your baby would’ve been in danger. Please think about it?” He is right. I look down at my noticeable baby bump. Four months have passed in a blink of an eye but my condition has worsened week by week. It is hard for me to move around and I am super forgetful. Yesterday, I forgot to take my medications. This wasn’t the only instance. I have been so occupied with buying all the baby clothes and moving all the baby equipment that I fainted. Thank God, Jimin called me and realised something was wrong when I didn’t pick up the call. He rushed to my suite and thankfully I didn’t fall on my belly and regained my consciousness rather quickly. For the safety of my baby, I would have to agree to his proposition. Thoughtful, I answer:”Fine, I will move into your apartment. But I promise to help you around the house. I can’t just take advantage of you. At least let me do the house chores.” Jimin smiles and says sweetly:”You aren’t taking advantage of me. I am glad to help out my friend.”

One month later

Usually, I would go to the doctor’s appointments alone but today I will get to know my baby’s gender. Any gender would be fine with me as long as my baby is healthy. That is the only thing that matters to me. Jimin took the day off to accompany me. He is just as excited as me to know. “Ema, come into room number 6”, the nurse calls. We both go into the room and the doctor is pointing to the examination chair where I lay down. Awkwardly, Jimin looks around the room not knowing where to stand. You can totally sense that it is his first time at the gynecologist. The nurse comments friendly:”Ema, has your husband decided to join us today?” Jimin’s cheeks blush up and I answer jokingly:”Yeah, he has.” Jimin’s face reddens even more. I always joke around, saying he will be my future husband. The reason being is his priceless reaction. Gosh, he is so cute. Awkwardy, he stands in the corner until the nurse points to the chair next to me and he sits down. He looks so nervous, I can tell. 

 “Please put up your shirt”, the doctor requests. I slightly put up my shirt and the doctor proceeds to put the gel on my stomach. The gel is cold but I am used to it. Jimin looks away, I guess he got shy. The doctor looks at the monitor and moves the ultrasound transducer on my belly.”Do you want to know the baby’s gender?”, he questions me. Thrilled, I approve. Excitement rushes through my body and the baby slightly kicks me. Astonished, Jimin now looks at my stomach moving from the kicks. 
“It is a baby girl”, he congratulates us. Jimin hugs me and I get teary eyed from the news. I can’t believe I will be the mom of a baby girl. Oh my, I am so happy.

In the biggest shopping mall in Seoul, Jimin and I are picking up cute baby girl outfits. My baby girl has to be a fashionista at least. We are picking up princess dresses as well, although they will be too big for her in the beginning. “What about this one”, Jimin asks me, holding up a Chimmy onesie. “Let’s take that one too'', I answer enthusiastically. After we have been shopping for a few hours, my stomach starts to growl. “The baby must be hungry now”, I say cutesy. “What would my little baby like?”, Jimin says with pouty lips, patting my stomach. I love it when he does aegyo. “I want to eat pizza. But I want to eat at home. My legs are tired”, I answer. Jimin nods and we walk to our car, parked in the parking lot, him carrying the shopping bags. 

At home, we are eating pizza on his bed. I am wearing his hoodie since my old clothes don’t fit me anymore. My order is champignon with double cheese and corn and he ordered Hawaiian pizza. “How can you eat warm pineapples on pizza”, I ask him, disgusted. Jimin frowns and argues:”Pineapple belongs on pizza. It’s so tasty. You haven’t even tried it yet.” “I don’t even want to try it”, I say while taking a big bite from my pizza. Literally, ten minutes after I finish my pizza, I ask Jimin:”Can I try out a slice. I am still hungry.” He laughs and gives me the rest. “You are so cute when you eat”, he says, watching me eat. I finish the meal and crave for ice cream. “Jimin, do we have ice cream left”, I ask him. “No, you ate it all up yesterday”, Jimin answers, seriously concerned. For the last month, I have been devouring buckets of ice cream. But I want to eat it now, I do aegyo to convince him:”Please buy me ice cream. Oppa, I want it.” Pretending to think about it for a minute, he says:”Only because it is for you”, and he leaves the apartment.

"Jimin hyung, did you change your password again. I brought food", the man shouts. Someone knocks on the door multiple times and I eagerly hurry to open it, thinking it would be Jimin. To my surprise, it is Taehyung. Shocked, he looks at me and his take-out bag falls down. Impulsively, I try to close the door again but he catches it quickly. He looks at me confused:”Do I know you?” The only time I have met Taehung was in the nightclub but there is no way he remembers me. I mean, he was drunk that day and my appearance has changed quite a bit as well. Nervously, I answer:”Jimin isn’t home yet. You can wait inside, he will be there in a minute.” Still suspicious, he walks in and sits down on the couch. I sit on the other couch, facing him from the side. Few minutes later, he breaks the silence, asking:”How far along are you?” I look down to my belly and answer:”I am five months.” Then he asks me to keep the conversation going:”Do you know the gender?” Smiling, I say:”It is a girl.” His eyes brighten up. His personality is totally different from the last time I saw him. Maybe because he doesn’t remember me.

The pin code is typed in and Jimin enters the apartment. “Taehyung, what are you doing here?”, he asks startled. Taehyung replies:”Don’t you want to explain this situation to me first?” Jimin gives me the ice cream and they go to his room. Jimin shuts the door behind them. Curiously, I eavesdrop behind the door. Taehyung loudly questions him:”Who is this girl? You didn’t even tell me about her? I thought we were bros and you could trust me.” He sounds disappointed. Jimin keeps quiet and then Taehyung asks:”How did you get her pregnant!!?”
Jimin keeps silent and then commands:”Stay quiet, she might hear us.” Taehyung now shouts:”WTF, you are telling me to be quiet! And when I come to your house to talk, there is a pregnant lady opening the door for me!” Jimin is still not replying. Taehyung continues:”Is she staying with you?” Jimin answers looking down:”We have been living together for a month.” “Is that why you haven’t been practicing lately? To take care of her?”, Tae is baffled. Did Jimin miss practise because of me? I knew I would be a burden to him. I shouldn’t have ever moved in with him. He shouldn’t take a fall in his career because of me. Once again, I ruined everything. Tears fall down my face. It is all my fault. 

Taehyung leaves the apartment.

Packing my bag, I get ready to leave. As I step out of my room, Jimin stops me, touching me lightly on my shoulder:“Where are you going?” Crying, I try to get away but his grip tightens. “What do you expect of me? To stay here forever and raise the child with you? You aren’t even the father, why are you trying to take responsibility?”, I cry out. Jimin gets emotional:”I know I am not the father but still I want to be there for you. I have developed feelings for you. Ema, I like you.” 

What? Jimin likes me. My world is scattering apart. Of course, I like Jimin but I only see him as a big brother, nothing romantic. He can’t fall in love with a fool like me. One more reason to leave him. This time, I won’t ruin another life.I grab my head. Just as it is, it is messed up.“Jimin, let me go.You don’t deserve this”, I cry. I leave the apartment, leaving him alone. Outside the door, I am crying. My heart hurts, it feels like it is tightening and I have difficulty breathing. As I try to get myself in control, I notice someone looking at me from the corner. “Are you fine?”, Taehyung asks me, genuinely worried. Words can’t seem to form in my lips, so I shake my head. “Should we get back into Jimin’s?”, he asks me. A hushed “No” leaves my mouth. Taehyung lifts me up in bridal style to protect my stomach and carries me to his car.

In his car: Slowly regaining my strength, I ask:”Where are we going?” He answers swiftly:”To my place. Since you left, I guess you don’t have any place to sleep tonight.” Taehyung is right, I have nowhere to go. No place to stay. I am all alone. I have left my home. That day, I left Jimin. He has been my only friend for the last five months and the reason I could still bear it every day. I am so grateful but I have got to move on. Looking out of the window, I see the flashing lights speed by. The journey in Seoul flashes through my mind. Namjoon, I miss him. I shed my last tears.