I notice the new girl as I walk over to my friends. Her nose is in a book, earbuds in.

"Hey! Riley!" Amelie's voice echoes through the space. I smile. Even if no-one else wants to be with me, I'm always welcome in my group of misfits.

"Hey," I say, sitting cross-legged on a chair.

"So, what are you today?" Pablo asks. I laugh. Aside from Jason and Casey (my foster parents), no-one knows I'm gender fluid. Thankfully, the school has a set of pants for the girls' uniform, so I can do whichever and people won't know.

"She/her," I respond.

"Cool," Olivia says.

They go on talking about what they did on the weekend. My attention shifts back to the girl. My mind starts imagining a scene where she comes over to talk to me, maybe even asks me out. Oh, no.I have a crush. And worse, Pablo notices.

"Hey, new girl," he yells.

"Huh?" Oh, god she's so cute when she's confused.

"Come over here! It's okay, we don't bite."

She got up, making sure to bookmark her page.

"Um... I'm Alex," she says. We introduce ourselves, and she sits next to me. Pablo smiles. I feel like I'm on a cloud nine.

***********************************************************************************************

It's been a few weeks since Alex started sitting with us. My crush on her grows every day. I'm still not out to her because I'm afraid she'll hate me. She thinks I identify as female even on days I identify as male. I have to bite my tongue from correcting her use of my pronouns. It's been torture. Today, I'm going to tell her.