hanamaki ran the idea past oikawa as they drove home. oikawa was hesitant, he felt as though he was pushing matsukawa onto hanamaki.

"if you regret this, in even a day, call me and we'll switch back," oikawa said sternly. "seriously, don't hesitate or... feel bad, mkay?" he reassured the other boy.

"mhm," hanamaki hummed simply, then he looked out of the window. "i have a question," he said then added, "actually, questions,"

"serious questions?"

"kinda," he glanced over at oikawa then back out of the window. "why do you hate matsu so much?" he asked, he wanted to know if the dark haired boy had been telling the truth.

"hm..." oikawa hummed, sighing dramatically. "well, mattsun was kind of right, it isn't completely my business..." he trailed off as if choosing his next words hesitantly. "he just dated my best friend and... put him through a lot," hanamaki perked up at one of those words.

"him?!" he asked, shocked.

"oh fuck," the brunet placed a hand over his mouth as he parked into the student parking section. he parked up then turned to face the other boy, "i wasn't supposed to-" he stammered, "forget i ever said that," he said, his brows furrowed slightly.

"how can i?!" hanamaki let out a relieved laugh.

"don't laugh!" oikawa swatted at his arm, "makki! i seriously wasn't supposed to tell anyone!" he said frustratedly. he groaned before sinking into his seat.

"i don't get it, why's it such a big secret?"

"because, it's complicated," he replied in a huff. "listen, as much as i hate the guy, i'd never out anyone, that was an honest mistake-"

"oikawa, dude, i know," hanamaki raised a hand, gesturing for oikawa to relax.

"it's just..." he began, "like- he dated suga, but he wasn't out to anyone," he went on, gesturing his hands in the air as he spoke. "so he kept him a secret, it tore suga apart, he changed a lot, got really depressed and never went out. mattsun would flirt with girls in public to keep people from finding out," he sighed. "it was shitty," he said, "then one day, mattsun went on a family vacation and he, like, brought one of his fake girlfriends with him... so suga ended it," he went on then took a deep breath. "it was really, really shitty,"

hanamaki stared intently at the steering wheel, deep in thought. "that... sounds awful,"

"it was,"

hanamaki wasn't sure how to feel. he knew what matsukawa had done was terrible, and he wasn't attempting to justify his behavior, but it was a slippery slope. why was matsukawa so afraid of being gay? i know, it's terrifying, i know that fact very well. you never know how people are going to react. the fear of being seen differently by those who are close to you, it's one of the worst feelings in the world.

"why didn't he just break up with...."

"suga,"

"why didn't he break up with suga sooner?" hanamaki asked, "if he knew suga was hurting and he knew he wasn't ready, why?"

"that's a great question," oikawa scoffed. "he's selfish," he commented, crossing his arms over his chest. "he wanted suga to himself at whatever costs,"

"he doesn't seem the type,"

"you've barely met him," oikawa said pointedly.

hanamaki averted his eyes, nodding simply. "yeah," he agreed, "you're right," he said then looked up at oikawa. "but i refuse to believe he didn't have a good reason,"

"are you serious right now?"

"i'm just-" he raised his hands slightly, defensively. "giving him the benefit of the doubt," he said then dropped his hands back into his lap. "how long ago was this?"

"three years,"

"oikawa," hanamaki raised a brow, "you had blond streaks three years ago-"

"ew! don't bring them up!" he yelped, scrunching up his nose a bit.

hanamaki laughed, "my point beeeeing-" he said, "a lot can change in three years,"

oikawa looked at the boy, scoldingly. he shook his head once, "he's still the same old mattsun to me," he said then sighed, looking down at his hands. "i regret a lot of things," he admitted. "sometimes i regret the fact that i didn't date suga before mattsun could get to him," he said, "it was so obvious that suga liked me before that dumbass came along,"

"but then you wouldn't have met iwaizumi,"

"i know, i know," oikawa said lightheartedly, "which is also why i don't regret it," he looked back up at hanamaki. "but what were the odds of iwaizumi being fuckin' roommates with the devil," the pink haired boy let out an amused huff. "i hadn't seen him since highschool, then poof there he is," he said then rolled his eyes subtly at the thought. "maybe i'm cursed,"

"oh shuuushh," hanamaki said then he looked out one of the car windows. "lets get inside, it's starting to rain,"