DAY 20

JUDE AND MARI'S wedding had an anusual wedding entourage. Sanna find it amusing and funny at the same time.

Jude said, initially ay si Mathieu ang best man, but Simon insisted and argued with Mari na kung hindi na rin lang din si Thad ay si Juan na lang daw if usaping malaking ambag naman pala sa love story ng dalawa at hindi patagalan ng pagkakaibigan.

Math agreed with it and gave the best man spot to Juan.

So, to end the argument and para ma i-push pa rin daw ang Mathieu-Chippy partner. Aurea became Mari's maid of honor and Chi replaced her as one of the bridesmaids kasama na ni Maha. And yes, Mathieu as one of the groomsmen kasama sina Balti at James.

Simon was still the ring bearer, Jam as the coin bearer, but Art replaced his father as the bible bearer and the Alquiza brothers as flower boys. It was supposed to be Juan and Andrew, but dahil nga nagkagulo na at na-stress na nang sobra si LV. She appointed the final flower boys at hindi puwedeng mag-decline dahil ida-drop talaga ni LV ang kasal if may mababago pa ulit.

She heard that Simon and LV fought about this matter kasi si Simon talaga ang nagsimula na dapat si Juan na lang ang best man. She could imagine her Kuya Si fighting for his rights, but it seemed like LV was a fighter herself dahil nanalo pa rin ito.

Mari insisted na puwede pa naman siyang isali sa entourage but she declined. Niña was able to join kasi walang partner si Balti if hindi ito sasama. Thad joined her and they decided to enjoy the wedding as audience kasama ng ibang Faro boys.

The wedding theme was olive green and sobrang ganda na pala ng Cebu Metropolitan Cathedral ngayon. No doubt na nasabi ni LV na isa ang simbahan na 'to sa pinaka-best-wedding church sa Cebu ngayon. Simple lamang ang cathedral sa naalala niya. Hindi pa ganito kaganda. Although maganda naman siya noon, but mas pinaganda pa talaga.

And Mari looks so beautiful in her white wedding gown inspired by the dress of Rapunzel. Hindi pa niya napapanood 'yon. 'Yong latest version kasi ang pinagbasehan and not the Rapunzel she knew – Barbie Rapunzel lang kilala niya.

Thad was standing beside her. Kakalagpas lang ni Art sa kanila at proud na proud naman ang daddy nito na mag-take ng pictures. The main door of the church was closed but when it was Mari's time. It slowly opened and the wedding singer – a woman – started singing accompanied by two men playing the violin and the guitar.

Napasinghap talaga siya sa sobrang magical ng pagbukas ng dalawang malalaking pinto and when Mari started walking down the aisle, holding a bouquet of white roses and lilac flowers everyone fell silent.

"All those days watching from the windows. All those years outside looking in. All that time never even knowing. Just how blind I've been."

Sanna couldn't explain it but when she saw Mari crying and smiling at the same time behind her viel. She couldn't help her tears. Pasimple niyang pinunasan ang mga luha sa mga mata at ngumiti. At nang ibaling niya ang tingin kay Jude. He was in tears as well, standing beside him was Juan and Jude's father.

Masayang-masaya siya para kay Jude. He have Mari, the twins, and his friends, and his father. Everything fell into place at the last minute for him.

"Now I'm here blinking in the starlight. Now I'm here suddenly I see. Standing here it's all so clear I'm where I'm meant to be..."

Nanay Celia meet Mari in the middle, crying. She may have lost her daughter Faith, but she gained another one. Si Nanay Celia na ang naghatid kay Mari sa altar at ito ang humawak sa kamay ni Mari para ibigay kay Jude saka niyakap ang dalawa. The twins were there as well. Karga-karga nila Mathieu at Chippy para mahalikan ng Mommy at Daddy nila.

"I'm so happy for them," bulong niya sa kawalan.

"They deserved each other." Naibaling niya ang tingin kay Thad. "After everything they've been through." Thad was smiling at her.

Napangiti siya. "Masaya ako na ma witness ang araw na 'to." Ibinalik niya na ang tingin sa harapan. "Sana makita ko ring ikinakasal si Kuya Simon."

Thad wrapped one around her and kissed her temple. "You will."

AFTER THE CEREMONY ay nagkaroon na ng photo opportunity sa lahat. Ang kulit nga ng mga Faro boys.

Sa totoo lang, this was an intimate wedding, and the church was too spacious for them. Sila-sila lang naman kasi talaga ang invited and the church was secured from any paparazzi or media. Even the wedding date and Jude's whereabouts were not publicly announced by Jude. The couple wanted a solemn and intimate wedding with their closest friends and family. Of course, the Queen City members, Samson and Pablo are also present at nakilala pa siya.

"Oh, kami naman!" singit na ni Simon. Hinanap sila nito over the crowd. "Sanna, Thad!" tawag nito sa kanila. Katabi lang nito si Art na busy sa hawak nitong isang white rose. "Halikayo rito."

Thad placed his hand at the small of her back and urged her to walk forward. Ngumiti lang siya rito saka naglakad palapit sa altar. Umangat ang mukha ni Art at nakita sila na papalapit kaya sumigaw ito.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Akmang tatakbo ito palapit sa kanila pero mabilis na nahawakan ni Simon ang belt suspender ng slacks ni Art. "Tito Si!" reklamo pa ni Art.

Tinawanan lang ito ng Tito Simon nito. "Dito ka lang bata."

Natawa lang silang dalawa ni Thad. Pero nang makalapit sila sa dalawa ay pinalo ni Thad ang kamay ni Simon at kinuha mula kay Simon si Art. Mabigat na talaga si Art but Thad carried him with ease.

"Kapag talaga ako nagkaanak, Thaddeus. Hinding-hindi mo mahahawakan ang anak ko kahit isang hibla ng buhok niya," banta pa ni Simon, it made Sanna chuckled.

"Maghanap ka muna ng mapapangasawa saka ko seseryosohin ang mga banta mo."

"Hoy, hali na nga kayo!" tawag sa kanila ni Jude.

Karga ni Jude si Lyre at karga naman ni Mari si Sunset. Nakapuwesto pa rin ang mag-asawa sa gitna ng altar, waiting for them. Lumapit na rin silang apat at pumwesto nga sila ni Thad at Art sa tabi ni Mari. Pasimple niyang niyakap si Mari.

"Congratulations," nakangiting bulong niya rito.

"Thank you." Mari returned her smile. "Kayo naman sunod," tudyo pa nito.

Natawa lang siya. Hindi niya naman mapigilan na pisilin ang matambok na pisngi ni Sunset. Sobrang cute talaga.

Simon stood beside Jude and Lyre, nakahanda na nga agad ang ngiti.

"Anong feeling na ikaw lang ang walang asawa at anak, Takeuchi?" pang-aasar ni Balti mula sa audience.

"Ser, nasa simbahan pa tayo. Huwag mo akong denidemonyo."

Ang lakas ng tawa ng mga kaibigan nito.

"Sana lahat may jowa at anak!" sabay na sabi nila Math, Jam, at Sep na magkakasama sa isang gilid. 

"Pero para kay Takeuchi lang dahil masaya pa kami sa alak," pagkaklaro ni Sep.

Lalo tuloy umingay sa simbahan dahil sa tawanan ng mga magkakaibigan. Sana talaga hindi sila masaway.

"Si, stand in the middle," biglang nagsalita si Andrew. Napatingin tuloy ang lahat dito. "It's distracting. Hindi balance, so sa gitna ka."

Napamaang si Simon. "Wow naman!" Pero tawa pa rin nang tawa ang lahat. "Akala ko naman kakampihan mo ako Alquiza, Andrew."

Mapang-asar na ngumiti lang si Andrew. Lumipat na rin sa gitna nila si Simon. She couldn't hide her laugh kasi natatawa talaga siya. Nagmukha tuloy communion ni Simon ang photo op nila at sila ang pamilya ni Simon.

"Oh, Engineer, hawakan mo." Inabot ni Jam ang bouquet ni Mari, grinning. "Kami na nag-adjust. Ikaw na susunod."

"Ayaw ko magmura sa loob ng simbahan, Jameson. Lumayas ka na sa harapan ko."

Tumatawang bumalik na si Jam sa puwesto nito kanina kasama nila Balti. Jude and Thad both tapped Simon's back.

"Bawi ka na lang next year, Si," sabay pa ng dalawa.

Hindi lang siya ang natawa, pati na rin Mari. Thad and Jude are obviously enjoying bullying Simon.

"Sinasabi ko sa inyong dalawa. Kapag ako kinasal talaga. Who you kayo sa'kin." Tinawanan lang ng dalawa si Simon. "Seryoso ako. Itaga n'yo 'yan sa noo ni Attorney."

"Naririnig kita, Takeuchi," react ni Tor.

"Okay, smile na lahat," sigaw ni Jam. Katabi na nito ang photographer. "Si, bawi ka na lang next life."

"Isa ka pa!"

"Say cheese!"

Kumislap ang flash ng camera at on cue na niyakap nilang lahat si Simon. Tawang-tawa ang lahat nang sumigaw si Simon.  "Mother, father!" Nalulunod sa mga yakap nila. But of course, they all made sure the kids were not harmed in any way.

THE RECEPTION WAS held in Chateau by the sea in Lapu-Lapu City. The place was transformed into a beautiful fairytale-like garden reception na may magandang view pa ng dagat.

Since past 6 pm na rin ay mas dumagdag sa ganda ng lugar ang mga string lanterns sa itaas nila. Sa swimming pool na area, LV's team displayed a wooden boat there similar to the iconic scene in the movie Tangled. Only that, ang nakasakay roon ay bouquet of white roses and lilac flowers. May lamp then sa bow part ng boat.

The reception was as magical as Mari and Jude's church wedding and she loved looking at the happy couple. Ang cute ni Mari sa dress nito. It was still inspired by Rapunzel's dress, kung kanina pure white lang. Now, it has a hue of purple, sunset, and pastel pink. Her braided hair was pinned with flowers. Ang sabi sa kanya ni Thad ay pati raw wedding and reception attire ni Jude ay inspired sa male partner ni Rapunzel na si Flynn Rider.

Now she's curious. Papanoorin niya talaga ang movie one of these days. Pipilitin niya si Art na samahan siyang manood.

Everyone was still enjoying the party when she got out from the restroom. Napangiti siya roon. Naibaling naman niya ang tingin sa direksyon ng boardwalk part ng venue. She saw Simon there, standing alone, nakatingin sa dagat.

"Bakit kaya mag-isa 'yon?" mahina niyang tanong sa sarili.

Hindi na siya nagpaalam kay Thad at pinuntahan na niya ito. Mas malakas pala ang hangin sa banda doon, but she liked the mix smell of the sea and the trees around her. Tumayo siya sa tabi ni Simon.

"Mag-isa ka lang?" basag niya.

Halatang nagulat ito kaya natawa siya.

"Akala ko kung sino," baling nito sa kanya. Simon chuckled. "I was just checking this part of the venue. Para siyang floating dock natin sa Faro." He smiled after. "Relaxing."

"Ganda nga ng lugar, ’no?"

"I agree."

Ramdam niya ang lamig ng hangin sa mga pisngi niya. Mabuti na lang at suot niya ang coat ni Thad kaya hindi siya nilalamig.

"Alam mo ba kanina," pag-iiba ni Simon. Hindi ito nakatingin sa kanya nang tignan niya ang mukha nito. "May naisip ako."

"Ano?"

"Naisip ko... sinong maghahatid sa'yo sa altar kapag kinasal ka na?" Napayuko ito at napangiti bago iniangat ang tingin sa kanya.

Natawa siya.

He chuckled. "Seryoso ako."

"Akala ko pa naman iniisip mo sino ang mapapangasawa mo?" She keep her smile. "Akala mo na 'di ko napapansin na crush mo si LV, ah?"

Namilog ang mga mata nito. "Hoy!" Nagpa-panic na ibinaling nito ang tingin sa paligid. "Baka may makarinig pa sa'yo."

"Huwag kang mag-alala, Kuya Si. Tayo lang naman nandito."

Natawa ito at napakamot sa noo. "Halata ba? Saka, kahit na. Naririnig ka ng mga isda."

"Hindi naman nakakapagsalita ang mga isda."

"Hindi mo alam 'yon." He chuckled. "Pero seryoso, halata?"

She nodded. "Oo."

"Hayaan mo na. Ikakasal naman na 'yon. Maging masaya na lang tayo para sa kanya."

Namulsa ito at ngumiti sa kanya. She knew it was a genuine smile. Madalang lang may magustuhan ang Kuya Si niya but when he like someone – he will like that someone for the longest time.

"Ganoon talaga," dagdag pa nito.

"Parang ito rin ang sitwasyon natin noon. Pero baliktad." Natawa silang pareho. "Pero mas grabe ang iyak ko no'n."

"Gusto mong mag-Jollibee ulit tayo tapos umiyak ako sa harap mo?"

Alam niyang sobra na ang paniningkit ng mga mata niya kakatawa nang mga oras na 'yon. "Puwede ba?" sakay na biro niya.

"Tignan mo ang 'sang 'to. Sayang-saya sa kamiserablihan ko."

"Sorry na." Pinunasan na niya ang mga namuong luha sa kanyang mga mata kakatawa. "Hindi na ako tatawa."

"Huwag mo akong tawanan. Hindi kita tinawanan noong umiyak ka."

But when she looked at Simon again, he was still smiling. Alam niyang hindi ito na o-offend sa pagtawa niya.

Bumuga ito ng hangin at iniangat ang tingin sa madilim na kalangitan. The sky was full of stars tonight nang sundan niya ang tinitignan nito.

"Ako na maghahatid sa'yo sa altar," basag nito. Natigilan siya sa sinabi nito. Halos sabay rin silang napatingin sa isa't isa. "Kung gusto mo..."

Nang ngumiti siya ay sumama ang mga luha niya. She was in tears not because she was sad. She was in tears because she felt the genuine love in Simon's words.

"Thank you," tanging nasabi niya habang pinupunasan ang mga luha niya. He walked closer and embraced her. "Thank you, Kuya Si."

"I know that life was cruel to you, but I also want you to know that I am willing to shoulder some of your pains, so they wouldn't hurt anymore."

Doon na siya naiyak nang sobra.

Bumalik sa kanya ang lahat ng mga masasakit na nangyari sa buhay niya. She thought that she was doing just fine by herself, but when she met Thad, Jude, and Simon...  she realized how much she wanted to have a real family of her own. Also, they made everything in her life bearable.

Nagagawa na ulit niyang sumaya nang totoo at maging confident sa mga pangarap niya sa buhay. Her heart may have been broken a lot of times by her own family, but she found hope with her friend's care and love.

"Thank you," she sobbed on his chest.

"You're always welcome, Sanna." He gently tapped her back. "Ano man ang mangyari. You have a brother in me... you have Jude... you have Thad... you have all the Faro team backing you up."

FROM AFAR, THAD saw Simon and Sanna hugging each other. Thad knew how much Simon love Sanna. They had a special bond as best friends – like a sibling na kailanman ay hindi niya puwedeng alisin sa dalawa. Kung hindi dahil sa sulat na iniwan ni Sanna para kay Simon. He doubted that Simon will ever forgive him.

"Daddy!"

Bumaba ang tingin niya kay Art. "Yes, anak?" nakangiti niyang tanong.

"Daddy, when will you and Mommy get married just like Tito Jude and Tita Mari?"

Pinisil niya ang pisngi ni Art. "Soon, anak."

Kumunot ang noo ni Art. "Soon? Kailan po? Matagal pa po ba? Kailan po 'yong soon?"

He lowered himself and kneeled down in one knee para magka-level na sila ni Art. Inayos niya ang nagulo nang buhok ng anak niya.

"I'll marry your mother when she's ready to accept me again," nakangiti niyang sagot sa anak. "Hindi mo pa maiintindihan ang mga bagay na 'to, but when you grow up. You will understand why it took me many years to find you and your mother." He fixed his son's crooked bowtie.

Nang ibalik niya ang tingin sa mukha ni Art ay inosente lang itong nakatingin sa kanya. Natawa siya sa reaksyon ng anak kaya hindi niya napigilan na halikan ito sa noo at guluhin ang buhok nito pagkatapos.

"Daddy, can I be your best man? I want to be like Tito Juan earlier. He said he was best man because he was best and he was cool."

Kaya pala hindi na nilubayan ni Art ang Tito Juan nito kanina. Kung anu-ano na pa lang sinasabi ni Juan sa anak niya.

"Puwede po ba akong best man, Daddy? Puwede po ba? Puwede po ba? Puwede po ba?" Natawa siya. "Daddy, ipa-practice ko po ang lakad ni Tito Juan para maging cool po ako."

"Anak, huwag mo masyadong iniisip 'yang mga sinasabi ng Tito Juan mo."

"But Daddy, Tito Juan said that if I want to be cool and best, I have to be like him. I want to be a vet doctor, Daddy. I will protect all the animals."

He chuckled. "I thought you want to be an artist just like your Mom?"

Art's lips are pressed in thin line. Halatang nag-iisip ang anak niya by the straight lines of Art's brows na halos magdikit na.

"Can I do both?"

"Of course, Art." Tumayo na siya at hinawakan ang kamay ng anak niya. "You can do whatever you want. I will support everything you want to achieve in life."

Art's face lit up and his smile grew brighter. "Talaga po, Daddy?"

Nakangiting tumango siya. "Oo, naman. Magsisikap si Daddy para maibigay ko lahat ng mga gusto at pangangailangan mo." Naglakad sila sa patungo sa dessert table.

"Daddy, I want a dog. Can we have a dog po sa bahay?"

"I'll ask your Mom."

"Daddy, why are there only seven colors in the rainbow?"

Thad chuckled. "Kasi hindi eight."

"Daddy naman eh!"

"Itanong natin kay Isaac Newton at mukhang alam niya."

"Mukhang alam n'yo rin naman po yata, Daddy."

Ang kulit talaga ng batang 'to. But he's not complaining. "It's something about the spectrum of colors, Art." The smile remained on Thad's face. "But I'll discuss that some other time."

"Daddy, bakit hindi po nabubusog si Tito Si?"

"Kasi may monster sa loob ng tiyan niya."

"Totoo po?"

"Oo, itanong mo kay Tito Simon mo."

"Artista po ba si Tito Jude, Daddy?"

Thad nodded. "Sikat siya sa buong mundo."

Tumango si Art. "Pero bakit hindi ko po siya kilala kung sikat po siya sa mundo?" kunot noong tanong nito. Doon siya natawa nang sobra.

"That, hindi ko na alam."

"Daddy, you're not making sense po."

Lalo lang natawa si Thad. "Alam ko." That's what he gets for having a smart son. He playfully messed with Art's hair. "C'mon, Kid. Let's get you something sweet to eat."

"Daddy, Mommy said I shouldn't eat sweets at night."

"She wouldn't know."

"Mommy will know."

"No, trust me." Nakangiting inabot niya rito ang isang cupcake in which Art obediently accepts. "Masarap 'yan."

"Mas masarap pa rin po gawa ni Mommy."

Natawa siya. "Of course, your Mom is the best."

Ngumiti si Art. He dipped a finger to the cream on top of the muffin but Thad noticed that Art was doing the same thing. Hindi siya nito ginagaya because Art has his eyes on the cream part of his cupcake. Natawa siya nang bahagya nang halos sabay nilang tikman ang cream sa daliri.

"Daddy, do I have a Lolo or Lola po ba?" pag-iiba ni Art.

Natigilan siya roon. Art, looked up to him and waited for his response but he just stared at his son.

"Kasi po, Lyre and Sunset has Lola Celia and Lolo Judiel... and Rory has Lola Lourdes... mayroon din po ba ako?"

Thad tried his best to make his smile genuine and comforting. He reached a hand to his son's shoulder and pressed his little form at his side. Hindi niya inalis ang tingin niya rito.

"You have... your Mom's mother... your Lola Evangeline."

"But she's in heaven now," malungkot na sabi ni Art.

"She's with God now, but your Lola Evangeline is watching us from above... and I know that if she's alive, she will love you because you're a good boy."

Ngumiti si Art. "She will?"

He nodded. "Oo naman."

"But how about you Daddy? Don't you have a mommy and daddy?"

"My Mom is in heaven as well. Your Lola Thalia."

He couldn't remember if he even felt the love of her mother. He grew up in the care of other people. He managed to survive his childhood by himself.

"And she's watching us in heaven too?"

Tumango siya. "Yes, anak."

"But what about my Lolo, Daddy? Where are they? Are they also in heaven?"

"Your Mom's father, we don't know where he is right now. My father? Your Lolo Bern." May pait siyang naramdaman nang banggitin ang pangalan ng Papa niya. He had been years... and his father might have forgotten him. "He's away," sagot pa rin niya sa anak. "Pero hindi alam ni Daddy kung kailan siya uuwi."

"Do you miss him, Daddy?" Hindi siya makasagot. Art was waiting for a response, but he couldn't utter the word yes. "Baka kasi miss ka na rin po ni Lolo Bern."

Pakiramdam niya ay may batong nakabara sa lalamunan niya nang mga oras na 'yon. Did he still miss his father after everything that had happened to them? He hated his father and yet somehow, he couldn't hate him fully because in the end it was his decision that put him in this situation.

"I always miss you, Daddy." Nabalik ang atensyon niya kay Art. Those words strucked him. "Mommy always misses you too when you're working..." Hindi niya napigilan ang sarili na yakapin si Art. He love his son so much. Art and Sanna, he will do everything for them. "Do you miss us too, Daddy?"

"Of course, anak." He bent down to kiss the top of his head.

"I think Lolo Bern misses you too, Daddy..."

"Why'd you think so Art?"

"Because you miss me... so Lolo Bern misses you too..."

Art may not know how to explain it well but he clearly understands what his son meant. Art's perspective is genuine. He won't understand for now the painful realities this world has for other people. But it doesn't mean, he will let his son experience the same fate that he and Sanna had.

He will correct all the mistakes of their father and do everything right for their son.

DAY 22

NAGISING SI SANNA sa kalagitnaan ng gabi. When she woke up ay naabutan niyang si Art na lang ang katabi niya sa kama and Thad was nowhere in sight. Tinignan niya ang oras sa cellphone niya na nakapatong sa bedside cabinet – it's still 2 AM at bahagyang kumukulog pa sa labas. Mukhang uulan pa yata.

Hindi niya alam kung panaginip ang mga naalala niya nang mga oras na 'yon o mga memories na unti-unti nang bumabalik sa kanya. Habang kumukunti ang oras niya ay isa-isa namang bumabalik sa kanya ang lahat. It was really frustrating. Ilang araw na lang ba ang mayroon siya?

Napatingin siya sa pupulsuhan niya. Aurea saw the time on her wrist but she didn't tell her which wrist it was. She tried counting the days since November 19 and from her calculations, ika 22 days na niya ngayon. She only has 27 days left.

Ibinaling niya ang tingin sa mahimbing na natutulog na si Art. Itinaas niya ang kumot nito hanggang sa dibdib because it already slid on his waist. She brushed a hand on his hair bago ito hinalikan sa noo. Bababa na muna siya at mukhang hindi pa ulit siya makakatulog.

Tahimik ang buong bahay maliban sa panakanakang pagkulog sa labas. Whenever the lightning struck from outside it reflected on the walls and on the floor of the house mula sa siwang ng kurtina sa mga bintana. Pagkarating niya sa ibaba ay pansin niyang may ilaw sa opisina ni Thad.

Naglakad siya palapit doon at sumilip. There, she saw Thad sitting behind his working desk. Patay naman ang PC nito at laptop so he was not working – he was just staring blankly into space – parang may malalim na iniisip. Ang study lamp lang nito ang umiilaw sa paligid.

Kumatok siya para mapansin siya nito. Halatang nagitla ito dahil bumakas ang gulat sa mukha nito nang makita siya.

Humawak siya sa knob ng pinto at binuksan 'yon nang mas malaki. "I hope I'm not disturbing you."

"No. It's fine." Tumayo ito at lumayo sa working desk nito. Pumasok na rin siya nang tuluyan. "Did you had a nightmare kaya ka nagising?" nahimigan niya ang pag-aalala sa boses ni Thad.

Sanna smiled reassuringly. "Hindi naman."

He lead her to sit with him on the couch. "Hindi ako makatulog kaya bumaba muna ako," pag-amin nito mayamaya.

"Natapos mo ang trabaho mo kanina?"

He nodded. "Kaso hindi pa rin ako makatulog."

"You're overthinking again."

Mapait itong ngumiti. "I can't help it."

"Because we're running out of time?"

"I'm running out of time... kung hindi ko pa kayo mahanap... I don't know what to do anymore..." Bahagya itong yumuko at isinandal ang dalawang siko sa mga hita. Marahas na hinilamos nito ang dalawang palad sa mukha. "I should find you... I must..."

Niyakap niya si Thad. "I love you," aniya. 

Sanna rested her cheek on his back.

"Sanna?"

"Ayaw ko muna mag-isip. Siguro mamaya na ulit. Gusto ko lang sabihin na mahal kita."

Umayos ito ng upo kaya napilitan siyang lumayo. Sakabila nang bahagyang dilim sa paligid ay malinaw niyang nakikita ang mukha ni Thad. Thad's eyes couldn't lie. Even if there was pain in those pair of sullen eyes. She knew how much Thad wanted her – love her. Kaya hindi na niya pinigilan ang sarili pa. Iniyakap niya ang mga braso sa leeg nito at pinutol ang distansiya sa pagitan ng mga labi nila.

She closed her eyes and allowed herself to pour everything in that kiss. Hindi naman siya nabigo dahil gumanti agad ng halik si Thad. She felt an intense longing in how he's responding to her kisses. Lalo siyang napakapit dito nang pailaliman nito nang husto ang halik. Pakiramdam niya ay mauubusan siya ng hangin but she didn't want him to stop.

Hanggang sa marahan siya nitong ihiga sa sofa. He tried his best to fit them together on the couch without parting their lips. Their erratic heartbeat vibrating as their body pressed closer – closing the distance that separates them. Naging malaya ang kamay niyang damahin ang katawan ni Thad habang hinahalikan nito ang leeg niya, trailing kisses to the outline curves of her neck.

But she didn't want him to kiss her there. She wanted his lips to hers. Kaya hinawakan niya ang magkabilang mukha nito para mahalikan ulit ito sa mga labi. Pareho silang napaungol – they couldn't get enough of kissing each other.

She wanted him.

Everything felt so familiar. From his kisses. To his caresses. Even the level of heat that he was able to make her feel, felt so familiar. She wanted more.

Naglakas loob na siyang hubarin ang suot na T-shirt ni Thad but he stopped her. Hinawakan nito ang kamay niya at pinaghiwalay ang mga labi nila. His breathing was hard and painful to hear. Lalo na nang magtama ang mga mata nila. She saw regret.

"Thad?"

"We can't... I can't... I'm sorry." Mabilis itong lumayo sa kanya. Tumayo ito nang tuluyan mula sa sofa. "Sanna, we can't do this." Marahas na hinilamos nito ang isang kamay sa mukha paakyat sa ulo nito. He looked so much in pain. "I can't touch you like this... not in this situation..."

Umayos siya ng upo at inayos din niya ang suot na blouse. Nakagat niya ang ibabang labi. She suddenly felt so ashamed of herself kaya mas pinili niyang tignan ang mga paa niya. She was biting her lip not to cry in front of Thad. 

"Baby," naramdaman niya ang pag-upo ulit nito sa tabi niya, "I'm sorry. It's not because I didn't want to. You don't know how much I wanted you Sanna. Pero hindi puwedeng may mangyari sa ating dalawa."

"I'm sorry, Thad. I-I... shouldn't... make things hard for you."

Hindi na niya napigilan ang mga luha niya. Maybe she was just too vulnerable at the moment. She haven't thought of the implications of her actions.

Naramdaman niya ang kamay nito sa kanyang ulo. Dahan-dahan nitong pinihit pasandal sa dibdib nito ang mukha niya. Niyakap siya nito at hinalikan ang tuktok ng ulo niya. But she couldn't stop crying.

"Don't cry. It's not your fault," he whispered. "God knows, how much I'm controlling myself, Sanna. It's hard, but I'm doing my best because you deserve all the respect that I can give."

Iniyakap na niya ang mga braso rito. "I'm sorry..."

"Mas alam ko ang tama sa ngayon kaya gagawin ko ang lahat para ilayo ka sa mga bagay na alam kong makakasakit sa'yo... and it includes myself."

"Thad..."

"I did you wrong, Sanna, and although I'm doing my best to correct all my mistakes. You should always remember that I have hurt you and you haven't forgiven me yet."