You're still the one I will run to.

You're still the one I will long for.

You're still the one I will fall in love with.

You're still the one.

Sa nakalipas na sampung taon, ang panahon at oras lang ang lumilipas pero hindi ang pagnanais na makita kang muli. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, isang yakap, kahit isang yakap lang. Gusto ko lang maramdaman na totoo ka. Gusto kong malaman na masaya ka. I want to make sure that you're living the life you deserve without me. 

I missed you.

Always.

In every day of my life.

I have prayed for you and for this day to come. 

Sanna, you have seen my worst and my best. You have stood with me through my ups and downs. You have constantly reminded me that I am always worthy of the chance and that my arts were my greatest pride and I shouldn't be ashamed of showing it to the world. You have always held my hand when I'm feeling weak and coward. You have always been the sunshine in my darkest storms in my life. When I failed to appreciate myself, you always step forward and embrace me with your warm hugs that always brought comfort to my exhausted soul.

Sanna, you have loved me too much in this lifetime. If given the chance, I would love to fall in love with you in many lifetimes, so I can give you all the love that you deserve. Hon, mahal na mahal kita... sobra. 

And they say I will never make it, but look how far I've come in finding you. I've defied time just to have this second chance with you and Art. I have no regrets. I did the best that I can do. And I will forever be indebted and grateful to the people who made this prayer come true.

For the past ten years, I have kept this longing and regret in my heart for not being able to protect and love you. I have said it many times at sasabihin ko pa rin 'yon ngayon. 

Sanna, I'm sorry for leaving you behind when you needed me the most. I'm sorry for not being able to hold your hand tighter. I'm sorry if my hugs were not warm enough to make you feel better. I'm sorry if I wasn't able to give you that bouquet of daisy flowers at your graduation. If I could turn back time, I wish I was smart enough to realize that what I needed in my life... are not the bigger things I was aiming for, but the little things that I have at that moment. 

I have Jude, Simon, Lola Simona, my arts, and you. 

I'm learning to forgive myself now. I'm learning to move forward from all the things that burden me. I'm learning to start anew. And I'm learning to love myself always. 

I could no longer turn back our yesterday, but we have our today and the rest of our tomorrow. I will hold your hand tighter this time. Kahit na magreklamo ka pa, hinding-hindi ko na bibitawan ang mga kamay na 'to. I will hug you warmly until you fall asleep in my arms. I will dry your tears and bring back the smile in your eyes. I will make sure you will have all the time in the world to paint, to bake, and to sing to your heart's content. Mamahalin ko kayong dalawa ni Art at ng mga magiging anak pa natin hanggang sa huli kong paghinga. 

Sanna, I could not promise you a smooth sailing future, but I'll do my best to make the strong waves bearable for this family. Hindi lang ako ang mayroon ka ngayon. You have our Art, your Kuya Si, Kuya Jude, at ang buong Faro de Amoré. We will be there at your best and we will still be there at your worst. 

Thank you.

Thank you for still loving me all these years. I may sometimes feel unworthy but I will never miss the chance of spending the rest of my hours with you. 

As my number one fan.

As my best friend.

As my wife.

And now, as the mother of our son, Art.

Sanna, you have always put us first before yourself and we will forever be grateful for all the love, cakes, cookies, muffins, and foods that you have given to us. You did not only brought pure joy into our lives and tummies, but you have completed this family. Remember what I told you before? Dapat, huwag na huwag tayong maghihiwalay na apat. Hindi na buo ang Jude, Thad, at Simon na walang Sanna.

You will always be our sweet Susanna Evangeline. 

You will always be my greatest Sanna.

Hon.

I've been here for the longest time, waiting patiently for your return. I will shine my light brighter and make sure to guide you safely to the shore. I will be your lighthouse. 

My question now is.

Am I still the one?

Hopefully, your smile means that Architect Thaddeus Bernardo Apostol is still Susanna Evangeline's the one.