BALTI slowly lowered himself to wrapped his arms completely on Niña. He hugged her as if it was the very first time he did that – like it was the very first time after a very long time. He comfortably rested his head on her shoulder. Filled his lungs with her scent. 

He has been dying to do this.

To hold her in his arms without any hesitations and feeling of guilt.

"Balti?"

And he will do this every day starting tonight.

"I don't think it's the love spell," basag ni Vier. Inabot nito sa kanya ang isang bote ng beer. "Well, it did help." Vier leaned his back on the kitchen counter beside him, holding his bottle of beer in one hand.

He chuckled, "Is that a prognosis, doc?"

"Tell me, what's stopping you?"

"I don't think..." He gave it a thought for a few seconds. "...my happiness... matters," amin niya. He drunk half of the bottle. "I just don't think... it's right." Ibinaling niya ang tingin dito. "I feel pathetic. An asshole when I'm with her. I don't think she deserves a man like me, Vier."

"And does she thinks the same?"

"I – I don't know?" He shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe?"

"Is it because of those missing memories?"

"One of the things."

"How many of those things did you try to unravel so far?"

He chuckled, "Tinakbuhan ko lang yata lahat."

Natawa ito. "At some point in our lives, we all feel undeserving to be part of someone else's life." Napatitig siya kay Vier. Pansin niyang may pinaghuhugutan ang mga salitang binitiwan nito. He knew Vier to be a man of good words and wisdom. But for that moment, the tone of his voice made a different impression on him. "I don't think we will always feel deserving in the things we do and love." Vier glanced at him and smile.

Gusto niya sanang usisain pa si Vier but he chose not to press the topic any further.

"I guess, human as we are, we will never get contented. Once we achieved something in life. We tend to crave more."

"It's natural. Change is the only constant in this world." Pareho silang napangiti at natahimik nang ilang segundo. "We all have our fears that we couldn't share with other people. But what if we find someone with whom we can share those fears without being a burden? I think it will be worth a risk."

"Isn't it a selfish thing to do?"

"Is it?"

Natawa siya. "You're talking again in riddles."

Vier chuckled, "Just think of it this way, Balti. If you could bring one ally to a war. Who will it be? Life will always be an ongoing war, but it doesn't mean you will fight it alone. Right?"

"Dapat ba may military experience?" biro pa niya.

"Depende sa'yo."

"Sa kakasama mo kay Iesus pareho na kayo magsalita."

Natawa ulit ito. "We're cousins."

"Anong nangyari kay Chippy?"

"She has her own language. Just let her speaks her mind."

Ngumiti siya. "I think I get your point now."

"I know you will."

He tapped Vier's shoulder. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," he tapped back. "Again, when you're ready. You know where to find me."

"Sa haunted house ni Iesus."

Humagalpak ito ng tawa. "Iesus will surely be offended by that. You made it sound like he's a vintage cursed statue in his mansion."

"Hayaan mo 'yon. Siya na mag-adjust."

"Poor Cloudio."

"Rich Cloudio."

"Made sense."

He smirked, "I always am."

He's tired of running away.

He had been walking in circles – trying to get through the maze of his doubts and worries, yet he didn't even find the way out. Instead, he was stuck there.

He has always been stuck there.

Unable to move.

He couldn't fight his own demon because he was a coward from the start. He would be a fool if he chooses to ignore his true feelings for her again.

"I HAVE something to show you."

Kumalas ito sa pagkakayakap sa kanya at hinawakan ang kamay niya. He didn't give her the time to protest. Mabilis siya nitong nahila sa direksyon ng library nito sa bahay. Para silang magnanakaw sa gabi. Bukas pa ang mga ilaw kanina. Ngayon ay halos dim na ang paligid dahil puro warm light fixtures na lang iniwang bukas.

"Balti –" She was almost whispering.

"Shsh." Tumigil sila sa isang malaking two-doors ng library nito. He gripped the doorknob and slowly opened it. He glanced at her and smile. "Prepare to be amazed." Binitiwan nito ang kamay niya. It went to the small of her back as he nudged her inside.

Sumunod agad ito and immediately closed the door behind him. A mere distance from each other as she tried to adjust her vision in the darkroom. The light flicked open. Namilog agad ang mga mata niya. This place is surreal!

"Wow!" manghang usal niya.

It was beautiful.

No, beyond beautiful!

It reminded her of an old library in the 1800s. Although, Balti's library was only half of those grandiose libraries she had seen in most regency-inspired series. Pero seryoso, sobrang ganda! Na glue na yata ang mga mata niya sa paligid.

She had never been there, actually. Lagi kasi 'yong lock. But he mentioned that it was his library. So baka for his eyes only. Hindi rin siya sure kasi nakakapasok naman si Maha. But only when Balti is inside at nakakalimutan nitong i-lock ang pinto.

Pero siya?

Never siyang nag-attempt kahit curious din siya.

May mini living room at the study table. There is even a spiral stair that leads to the mezzanine shelves. Sa baba nun ang mga wooden bookshelves all arranged in rows. The library was filled with books. Kahit hindi niya isa-isahin ay mukhang naka categorized ang mga libro based on authors and published dates. Knowing Balti, he has always been a wide reader – hoarder pa nga.

Nabasa na nga nito halos ang mga libro sa library noong high school sila. Alam na alam na nito saan nakalagay ang libro at sino ang author. Kahit buong content ay kaya nitong i-kuwento sa kanya.

"Ang ganda," nakangiti niyang baling dito.

He smiled, "Welcome to my hideout." 

A proud smile.

"Akala ko exclusive na 'to sa'yo?"

He chuckled, "I could always make an exception."

Iniwan niya si Balti at lumapit sa isang bookshelves. She started tracing the book's spines in the shelves. She stopped at one particular book that caught her attention. She pulled it out from the rest and read the summary on the back cover. It was a classic novel by Charlotte Bronte.

She felt Balti's presence behind her.

"Found a book to read?" basag nito.

Ngumiti siya nang hindi ito tinitignan. "I'm not sure. May i-re-recommend ka sa'kin?"

He chuckled, "I actually have." Pumihit siya paharap dito. "Here." Umangat ang kamay nito sa kaliwang balikat niya para kunin ang libro mula sa likod niya but to her astonishment biglang bumaba ang mukha nito sa kanyang mukha. She thought her heart stop from beating the moment Balti's lips touched her lips.

Napakurap siya as she stares at his closed eyes.

And then her heart started pounding.

Naramdaman niya ang paggalaw ng mga labi nito sa kanya. She gasped as he found his arm already wrapped on her waist dahilan para mailapat niya ang mga kamay kasama ng librong hawak sa dibdib nito.

Mabibiling na lang yata ang naririnig niyang tibok ng puso niya when Balti slowly opened his eyes. A mischievous smile slipped on his face. Titig na titig siya rito. His eyes revealed so many emotions yet she couldn't confirm if her assumptions were the exact emotions he wanted to show to her. But he was looking at her like he was his world.

Bahagya itong lumayo sa kanya.

"Balti –"

Inilapat nito ang isang daliri sa mga labi niya.

"Shshs..."

Muli nitong inangkin ang mga labi niya. Bumaba ang isang kamay nito sa kanyang panga. Her back was once again pressed on the shelves. She felt him nibbled her lower lip and licked the lines of her lips.

Naipikit niya ang mga mata. 

She clutched one hand on his shirt to hold herself together.

Oh, God!

Whether consciously or unconsciously that she parted her lips for him. Hindi na niya sigurado. Balti immediately explored everything of her. Nahihilo na siya sa magkahalong emosyong nararamdaman niya sa mainit na halik na 'yon. His lips were so warm and soft on her lips. He was kissing him with such gentleness. Ni walang pagmamadali. And she didn't know if she was kissing him back right. 

A soft moan escaped from her lips when she felt him deepened the kiss. Ramdam na ramdam niya ang pag-iinit ng mga pisngi. The seconds passed made him crave for more. This time bumaba ang kamay nito sa kanyang leeg. Lifted her chin so he could kiss her more. Taste her more. Feeling niya mauubusan na siya nang hininga. 

Napahawak na siya sa mga balikat nito. The book she was holding fell on the floor as they continued kissing each other.

He pressed himself closer to her body. Held her firmly on her waist. Ramdam na niya ang mga librong bumabaon sa kanyang likod and yet she couldn't stop him. Pakiramdam niya ay mahuhulog siya kapag bumitaw siya rito.

She couldn't articulate anything at the moment. Tila ba tinabunan na ng fog ang utak niya. She felt warm in his embrace. She felt alive in his kisses. She had been dreaming of this moment. 

"Balti –" sa wakas ay sambit niya sa pangalan nito nang bahagya nitong putulin ang halik.

Their rugged breathing filled the air.

Balti rested his forehead on hers.

"Hmm?" 

Sinusubukan niya pakalmahin ang puso niya. Naguguluhan siya. Bakit siya hinahalikan ni Balti? Why all of a sudden?

She looked up at him. "Ayoko nang ganitong biro."

"Sino ba may sabing nagbibiro ako?"

"Then what was that for?"

"Niña –"

She pushed him away. "Balti, no more playing games!"

"I'm not playing games with you. I'm serious."

"Anong araw ba ngayon?"

"God, it's Thursday, Nin! Hayaan mo nga akong mag-explain muna. I'm not under any love spells, okay?" He frustratedly brushed his hair with his fingers. "I'm perfectly fine. I'm sober."

"O, bakit galit ka pa?"

He felt hopeless in front of him. His hands curled in front of him. Tila ba pinipigilan nito ang inis at pagko-convince sa sarili nito na i-extend pa ang pasensiya nito sa kanya. He heaves a deep breath and sighed.

"Niña Rosella Marzon." Napatitig siya dito. "Gusto kita. Alam ko na gusto mo rin ako kaya mag-aminan na lang tayo."

Umawang ang bibig niya.

"Hoy, grabe! Kailan ko 'yon sinabi?"

"A few days back," he smirked. Naikiling niya ang ulo. "Do I have to discuss my feelings for you from the beginning? Sige, gagawan ko pang visual aids at power point presentation para mas maintindihan mong ilang taon na akong gago for letting you go that day."

Namilog naman ang mga mata niya nang may sumilip na alaala sa isip niya noong naabutan niya si Balting natutulog sa sofa noong isang araw. Potek! Umamin talaga siya. 

Walangya ka, Niña Rosella, pinagkanulo mo ang sarili.

"Marzon, pakinggan mo nga ako."

She raised a hand. "Teka nga lang, Juarez."

Takte talaga, gusto niya kutusan ang sarili. Ang kondisyon niya sa sarili ay aamin lang siya kapag umamin si Balti. Pero ang rupok. Nauna pa siyang umamin. Ni hindi man lang niya maalala. Gusto niyang kutusan ang sarili.

Woah!

"Niña Rosella Marzon."

"Bakit ba?!" she snapped.

Nalilito na siya. Hindi niya alam kung matutuwa ba siya o iiyak ba siya o maiinis. Gusto niya na lang gawin lahat. Pagsabayin na niya. Hindi niya organize ang nararamdaman niya.

Natawa ito. "God, Niña!"

He looked at her with such loving eyes. It immediately melted her heart's defenses. Paano pa siya magpapakipot?! Niñaaaaaaa!

"Wait nga lang." Hayan na iyak na siya. "Teka lang, 'di pa nag-sink-in sa'kin lahat." Pagsasabayin na nga lang niya. Iiyak at tatawa. Tears of joy na lang.

Iniwan niya ito at naupo sa sofa.

Isang buwan pa lang – no, almost a month pa lang simula nang aksidente niyang magayuma si Balti. James told her that Balti's totally fine and he was no longer being controlled with the first love spell. Kaya hindi ito naniniwala na walang feelings ito sa kanya. James' reverse love potion could only give him side effects and possible amplification of the old feelings he has for her. If meron nga talagang hidden feelings si Balti sa kanya. Kaya nga Chippy triggered his feelings.

Did it work?

Did it really work?

"Niña, " Lumuhod ito sa harapan niya. "Niña, please." Ginagap nito ang mga kamay niya.

She couldn't help her tears. "Totoo ba talaga?" Pero asar 'tong contacts niya sa mga mata. Gumagalaw.

Balti cupped her face and smile. "Huwag kang umiyak. Matatangal 'yang contacts mo." He wiped the tears from her face. "Tomorrow, I'll buy you a new pair of glasses para makita mo nang mas malinaw ang gwapong mukha ng future boyfriend mo."

She scoffed, "Kapal."

"Manliligaw pa nga e."

"Ikaw? Manliligaw?"

"Ayaw mo?"

Bakit siya tatangi? She has been waiting for him for almost half her life! Potek, 15 years na nga yata siyang umaasa rito. Fifteen years of waiting for him to notice her. Naiyak na naman siya. It felt surreal. Takte, talaga! Nakakainis. Gusto lang niya umiyak talaga.

"Nanghahalik ka muna bago manligaw?" iyak niya. "Ginanyan mo rin ba 'yong ex mo?"

"Ano ba 'yan, nakaraan na naman!"

Natawa siya na umiiyak. "Bakit ayaw mo pag-usapan?" Wala na talaga sa ayos ang utak niya.

"Nakaraan na nga e. Bakit ba lagi na lang na bo-brought-up? I didn't kiss her like that."

"Anong pagkakaiba?"

He met her gaze. "Because it was you. It was now, Niña."

"Balti –"

"Please bear with me, Niña." Naupo ito sa tabi niya. "I will tell you everything when I'm ready but please... bear with me."

Ngumiti siya.

"Okay," and nodded.

Balti smiled, "Then we're good?"

"Si Maha?"

Kumunot ang noo nito. "What about Maha?"

"Hindi niya ako gusto for you."

He chuckled, "Let's not tell her yet. Let her overthink. And besides, liligawan pa kita. Huwag mo muna ako sasagutin, ha?"

Napamaang siya. "Grabe, confidence mo."

"Liligawan kita dahil deserve mo ang maligawan nang maayos." Lalo lamang siyang napangiti. "And don't worry, I'll help you patch things up with her." Inalis nito ang ilang hiblang buhok na dumikit na sa mukha niya. "I have two goals. One is to make you mine. Second, is to bring back Niña and Maha's friendship."

Muling nag-init ang sulok ng mga mata niya.

Hindi niya napigilan ang sariling yakapin ito. "Thank you." It would mean a lot to her.

Gumanti ito ng yakap. "You're always welcome, Ninin."

INILAPAG ni Balti ang isang tasa ng kape sa harapan niya. "Coffee." Pasimple pa siya nitong kinindatan bago naupo sa tabi niya. 

"Thanks."

Pigil na pigil niya ang mapangiti nang sobra.

"Ahem," Maha cleared her throat. "Kuya, na saan kape ko?"

"Magtimpla kang sa'yo."

Maha glared at her brother. "Favoritism talaga." Marahas na inabot nito ang tasa at ang mga glass cointainers ng kape, asual, at creamer sa gitna nila. "Ang aga n'yong sinisira ang araw ko. Bernes pa naman ngayon."

"O, ano naman kong Bernes?" ni Balti.

"Malakas powers ng mga evil spirits na katulad ninyo." Pati ang pag-stir ng kape nito ay marahas. Parang aapaw na ang kape sa tasa. "Kailan ba ako papakasalan ni Juan at nang mabahay na niya ako?"

"Siguro after 2 more centuries," pang-aasar pa ni Balti.

Pasimple naman nitong inilagay sa plato niya ang ginawa nitong peanut butter sandwich. Kinilig naman siya. Pero this time, meron na rin si Maha.

"Na-e-stress ako," ni Maha. "Sabi ni Mama tulungan ko raw si Harrah sa mga activities for Buwan ng Wika. Like, hello? Ang bobo ko kaya sa Filipino at Tagalog." Natawa silang dalawa ni Balti. Si Harrah ang club moderator ng Filipino Club. "Don't get me wrong, okay? Mahal ko ang Pilipinas pero mahal ko rin si Sehun."

"Juan o Sehun?" ni Balti.

"Both."

"Okay, Juan left the group."

"Kuyaaaaaa!"

Tawang-tawa si Balti. "Pakasalan mo na lang 'yong standee niya sa kwarto mo."

"Sige, pero dapat hawak ni Juan 'yong standee."

"Huwag ka na umasa."

Marahas na bumuntonghininga ito. "Nakakainis! Hindi ako makalapit. Feeling ko kakalmutin ako ng pusa niyang bola-bola. Mabait naman 'yong husky niya na aso pero feeling ko kakagatin din ako." Maha cringed as if she felt sudden goosebumps on her body. "Ommoo! Ommoo! Que horror!"

Tawang-tawa na naman siya.

"Ano ka ba talaga, Maha? Kimchi o Spanish bread?" ni Balti.

Ngumisi ito. "The one ni Juan."

"Asa ka pa."

Maha's lips twitched. "Aasa talaga ako!"

"Dalawa lang naman ang paraan para mapansin ka niya." Maha leaned her elbows on the table to listen attentively to her brother. "A way to Juan's heart is first, through his stomach. Well, may pag-asa ka rito nang kaonti."

"Talaga? Mga ilang percent?"

"One percent," ngisi pa ni Balti.

Binato itong tissue ni Maha. "Shuta ka, uusad ba ako sa 1% mo?"

Tinawanan lang nito ang kapatid. "At least may 1% ka. It's a good start."

"Paasahin mo naman ako, kuya, ano ba?"

"Ayoko. Anyway, second is, through his pets, but since you're not fond of animals, prayer vigil na ang kailangan mo." Balti chuckled after. Kinagatan nito ang sandwich nito. "May the odds be always in your favor."

Pigil na pigil niya ang matawa.

That's the reason kung bakit hindi siya naniniwala na may alagang pusa si Maha. Ever since kasi, she was no longer fond of pets. She knew the reason. May trauma ito sa mga hayop noong bata. She couldn't count. Kung siya ayaw ng dagat. Si Maha, ayaw ng mga hayop. Kung hindi ito nakakagat e nahahabol at nakakalmot pa.

"Speaking of pets," ni Balti, "Nabanggit sa'kin na may scheduled check up ka raw sa alaga mong pusa sa kanya. Sure kang pusa 'yan o 'yong stuffed toy mong pusa sa bahay na si Magellan –"

"Yaaaa!"

Hayon naman pala e. Huli na, Maha. Halatang-halatang ayaw nitong iparinig 'yon sa kanya. Pasimple na lamang niyang itinaas ang cup ng kape sa bibig.

"Kuya, 'di mo sure 'yan."

"Sure ako."

"Buhay na si Magellan!"

"Sa barangay ka magpaliwanag, Maharlika."

"Aish!"

Natigilan naman siya nang maramdaman ang kamay ni Balti sa kamay niya. He laced his fingers with hers under the table.

"Ang saya mo, ah?" puna ni Maha na siyang nagpaangat ng mukha niya rito.

Napakurap siya.

Wait, did she smile? Hindi niya napansin kung oo. "Huh?"

"Just because you're miserable doesn't mean we are," sagot ni Balti rito na may kasama pang tawa. "Masaya kami e pakialam mo ba?"

Maha rolled her eyes at his brother. "Araso! Araso!" And made a face. "Du bun-i oneul bam jal mos jagil balaeyo!"

Loko talaga 'to. Akala ba niya tutulungan siya nitong magkabati sila ni Maha? Bakit ginagatungan pa? 'Yan tuloy wala siyang maintindihan.

"Neodo!" sagot naman ni Balti rito.

"Mâi khâo jai," sabi na lang niya.

Napatingin tuloy ang magkapatid sa kanya.

"Kuya, anong sinabi niya?"

"Sabi niya demonyo ka," ngumisi pa si Balti.

"Hoyy!" Naitulak niya nang wala sa oras si Balti. Napalakas pa yata dahil napasalampak na sa sahig. "Gage, hindi 'yon." Nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin niya sa makapatid. Tinawanan lang siya ni Balti. Umaapoy na ang mga mata ni Maha sa inis. Shuta talaga 'tong si Balti. "Mali! Mali! Hindi kasi 'yon." She waved her hands dimissively. "Sabi ko, I don't understand."

"Liar!"

Napansin niya namang tumatakas si Balti sa ilalim. Walangya ka talaga kahit kailan Bartolome! Bakit ba kita minahal?! 

Maghihirap ka talaga sa yes ko!

Nang-aasar pa.

Nag-flying kiss pa sa kanya bago tumayo at kumaripas ng takbo.

Ang kalat talaga, Bartolome!