"DID you personally made the crochet doll?"

Jude shook his head while adjusting the tuning keys of his guitar. It was her baby. Sira si Judas and Thad is not lending his to Jude. May ngiti sa labi nito. "I bought it when I went back in the US." Nililipad ng hangin ang may kahabang buhok nito. "Did you like it?" He glanced at her. "Nang makita ko 'yon ikaw agad ang naalala ko."

So last December?

Naglatag ito ng blanket sa buhanginan. It was almost 5 PM. They're planning to watch the sunset together. May dala itong basket ng snacks nila. Gawa raw nito ang mga sandwiches. He even brought some chips, bottled water, a can of fruit juice and Coke.

"Gusto ko panoorin 'yon ulit."

Namilog ang mga mata nito. "You already watched it?"

Nakangiting tumango-tango siya. "The similiraties we have are uncanny. It was like watching my whole life in one movie. Hindi ako naiyak. Natawa ako." She chuckled. Pero naiyak talaga rin siya sa ending. But she wouldn't admit it. "Naalala ko 'yong guilty feeling ko habang nasa b'yahe tayo. Ganoon na ganoon 'yong nasa utak ko. 'Yong routine niya araw-araw." She sighed with a smile. "And Flynn Rider reminds me of you!"

Nasira ang mukha ni Jude. "Please don't remind me."

Tawang-tawa siya. "Bakit?"

"Marison."

"Well, if you look at it. Eugene was not really bad. He has his reasons."

"He was far better than me."

"If you were worst than him and I don't think you would be here beside me." She smiled. "I would be loathing you right now. Hired someone to assassinate you. Kill you in my mind."

Jude chuckled, "The last one seems feasible."

Natawa siya. "Actually, I didn't want you to die." Ibinaling niya ang tingin dito. "That's an easy escape. I think the hardest punishment in this world is by living your life with guilt that you couldn't undo. I honestly wanted you to remember the pain that you have given me." Napangiti siya nang mapait. "But I didn't want that..."

"Mari –"

"Siguro dahil ayoko lang." She chuckled this time. "Ayoko lang talaga magtanim ng galit nang matagal. Kapag itinanim ko 'yon. Tutubo 'yon at habang buhay ko nang aalagaan sa puso ko."

"How can I not stop thinking that I don't deserve you?"

"Huwag mo lang isipin."

"Easier said than done." A bittersweet smile slipped on his face. Ibinaling nito ang tingin sa harap. "I feel like the worst person every time you choose me. I don't think I have loved you enough for you to forgive me every day."

"I didn't forgive you yet."

He chuckled, "But your actions say otherwise."

She smiled. "Whatever."

Sumilay ang totoong ngiti sa mukha nito. "I'm a fool for hating you."

"I don't think you hated me that much." Namilog ang mga mata nito. He looked rather amused. She smiled smugly. "I am too adorable to be hated."

Umawang ang bibig nito, batted his eyelashes twice. "Oh?" Lalo pang na amuse sa react nito. "At saan mo nahugot ang confidence na 'yan, Ms. Lucia Marison?" Even in the tone of his voice. He was surely enjoying the conversation.

"I just know." Kumuha siya ng sandwich at kinagatan 'yon. She silently giggled. "What?!" Nakatingin pa rin ito sa kanya.

"Well, you might be right."

"I'm always right." Natawa silang pareho. "But anyway, thank you for the gift. I loved it." Isinubo niya rito ang sandwich na kalahati na lang nang ibuka nito ang bibig. "Did Math teach you to make these sandwiches?"

"No," he answered while chewing. Nilunok muna nito ang kinakain bago nagsalita. "I'm quite a chef myself as well." May narinig siyang konting yabang sa boses nito. Natawa siya. Even in his smile.

"Sabi mo hindi ka mahilig magluto sa interview mo!" akusa niya.

"Like I said. I like to keep secrets."

"Alam mo bang betrayal 'yan sa puso ng mga fans mo?"

"Really?"

The angst of this man! Wala man lang remorse.

"Oo!" nakasigaw na siya. "It's treason."

"Grabe naman!" Tawang-tawa ito. "It's not like I betrayed my country for not telling the world that Jude Asrael Savio can cook. I should have joined Master Chef then."

"Jude!"

"Marison!" panggagaya pa nito.

Pinaningkitan niya ito nang mga mata. "Don't!"

"Don't what?" he teased.

Marahas siyang bumuntonghininga. "So what else? Ano pang hindi mo sinasabi sa'min ng mga fans mo?"

"Nothing important, really –"

"Everything is important for us!"

Namilog ulit ang mga mata nito. "Seryoso ka ba?"

"Mukha ba akong nagbibiro?!"

"Hindi." Umiling ito. "You looked like you're about to get my soul out of my body." Nakagat nito ang ibabang labi sa pagpipigil ng tawa but his smiled betrayed his lips. Lalo niya itong pinaningkitan ng mga mata. "What?!" He chuckled. "Can't I keep secrets now?"

"Kahit na –"

"Believe me I'm not the only one. There are things in our lives worth not sharing... not because we don't want to, but because it's the only way for me to protect them." Napatitig siya rito. "And even if I want to tell the world I'd rather not if it would mean putting the privacy of my friends and loved ones at risk. The world is not as beautiful as it seems and the least that I can do is to make it a better one for them ... and for you."

Jude smiled.

And she felt it again. It was real and sincere.

"So," ibinaling nito ang tingin sa gitara, "any request Mommy?"

"M-Mommy?"

"Mommy," ulit nito. "Mommy ng mga anak natin." Napakurap siya. "Okay, ako na lang muna mag-iisip." Sandali itong nag-isip. He snapped his fingers. "I know!"

"What?"

"Your favorite song."

"You remember?"

"How could I forget?" He smiled. "It's rare for me to forget songs."

My favorite songs?

Inayos nito ang pagkakahawak ng gitara. Mayamaya pa ay pumailanlang na ang pamilyar na tuno ng kanta na alam na alam niya nang buong puso. Napangiti siya lalo nang magsimula itong kumanta.

"You are the one who makes me happy when everything else turns to gray. Yours is the voice that wakes me mornings and sends me out into the day."

She missed that voice. She missed him singing with such happiness. Naiiyak siya. It was like listening again to 6 years ago Jude Asrael Savio of Queen City.

"You are the crowd that sits quiet listening to me and all the mad sense that I make. You are one of the few things worth remembering and since it's all true. How could anyone mean more to me than you?"

And Jude wasn't only singing for her.

He was looking at her belly na tila ba nakikita nito ang mga anak nila. He was singing that song for them.

Tears welled up from her eyes. Mabilis niyang pinunasan ang mga mata but it was too late. Nakita na siya ni Jude. Tumigil ito sa pagkanta.

"Hush, don't cry." He moved closer to wipe the tears from her eyes. "Sa sobrang pangit ba ng boses ko ay nakakaiyak na?"

Natawa siya. "Hindi!"

"The last thing on my mind now is to make you cry but I know it would be hard because I'm such a pain in the ass."

Iyak at tawa na tuloy ang nagawa niya. Jude was suppressing his smile. "Huwag mo na nga ako pansinin. Ituloy mo na. I want to hear your voice."

"I'd rather listen to you."

"No." Umiling siya. "Kapag narinig pa ng kambal ang boses ko magsasawa na sila. Mas mabuti na 'yong balance."

Natawa si Jude. "I don't think they will."

"Jude –"

"Look!"

Napatingin siya sa harap. The sight almost took her breath away. It was beautiful. The sky looked like a painted canvas of a beautiful sunset.

Her golden hour.

Her favorite time of day.

"It's beautiful," it barely came out as a whisper.

She was such in great awe.

Ramdam niya ang mabining hangin sa kanyang pisngi. She loved the sound of the waves. Ang marahang paggalaw ng mga dahon sa mga puno na sinasabayan ng kanta ng mga ibon.

"You're beautiful."

Naibaling niya ang tingin kay Jude. Kanina pa ba ito nakatingin sa kanya? Bumaba ang tingin nito sa kanyang mga labi and before she could assess her feelings Jude leaned down and kiss her – kiss the side of her lips.

Napalunok siya at napakurap.

Akala niya ay tumigil ng isang segundo ang kanyang puso.

Ibinalik nito ang tingin sa kanya. Naghinang ang kanilang mga mata. She can see through his eyes. He wanted to kiss her but he was scared. He was scared to hurt her. Scared to cross the line.

"I – I'm –"

"Don't!"

Please don't say you're sorry for wanting to kiss me.

"Can I kiss you?"

Eyes couldn't lie. The passing seconds seem an eternity for him. And she couldn't lie to herself. She wanted Jude to kiss her.

Ngumiti siya at tumango.

At bago pa man ulit siya makapag-isip ay mabilis nitong tinawid ang pagitan ng mga labi nila. Agad niyang naipikit ang mga mata nang maramdaman ang masuyong paggalaw ng mga labi nito sa kanya. He cupped one side of her face and bit her lower lip to urge her to open her mouth for him. She gasped when Jude deepened the kiss.

Umangat ang mga kamay niya sa mga balikat nito. His other hand held her closer – too close that she was afraid that no air could separate them apart. Ramdam niya ang excitement sa kanyang puso. Her heart was beating fast because of him... because of Jude's kisses.

And because this time...

... it was real.

"HINDI naman." Inubos niya muna ang kinakaing orange. Nasa dalampasigan pa rin sila. The sky was full of stars tonight and the feeling was lighter. She couldn't explain it but she was simply happy. "I know I've seen a real fish before pero sa sobrang tagal 'di ko na maalala," she continued. "Kaya noong makakita ako nang tumatalong isda tuwang-tuwa ako. Alam mo 'yong feeling na lahat para sa'yo ay bago? After five long years of darkness, I've forgotten how these animals look like and how green leaves are, or how colorful flowers could bloom. It was like I'm seeing a new world in front of me."

"You said you lived with your mother alone until you were five?"

She nodded. "But I couldn't remember most of my childhood memories. Nang kunin kami ni Daddy he never allowed us to go out. Palipat-lipat kami ng bahay dahil nga nagsasama pa sila sa iisang bahay ni Tita Vanessa. Bantay sarado kami ng mga body guards sa isang town house bago kami lumipat sa mansion. I was homeschooled. Si Mommy at Yaya Celia lang ang kasama ko lagi."

"He didn't realize how hard it was for you?"

"I don't know. Pero naalala ko na minsan nag-try kami tumakas ni Mommy noong dapat magbabakasyon kami sa Hong Kong. Pinauna lang kami ni Daddy dahil hindi siya pwedeng makita na may kasama."

"Pero nahuli pa rin kayo?"

"We almost succeeded but we were caught at the airport. Dahil na rin sa connection ni Daddy kaya madali niya pa rin kaming nakita. Since then, hindi na niya kami dinadala sa ibang bansa. Kung mamamasyal naman kami ay dito lang sa Cebu pero sobrang limitado. Bantay-sarado pa kami ng mga bodyguards. That explains why even if I have enough money in my bank account it couldn't buy me my freedom. It got worse nang mamatay si Mommy. He had locked me up in his mansion."

"I believe you didn't tell me the whole story of your accident."

"Well, tumakas ako. I think nasabi ko na 'yon sa'yo. I just turned 19 that time. I wanted freedom. I wanted to find myself. At naalala ko ang sinabi ni Mommy sa'kin. Lagi niyang sinasabi na may inilibing siyang bagay sa dating lugar na lagi naming pinapasyalan dati. Malapit lang din kasi rito ang una naming bahay."

"'Yong music box."

She nodded. "But I didn't know that it was a music box."

"And did you discover more?"

"There was a hidden letter inside."

"I didn't see it –"

"I didn't see it at first. Sa tingin ko gusto ni Mommy na makita ko 'yon to remind me that I have a beautiful life ahead of me. Gusto niyang umalis ako sa poder ni Daddy at hanapin ang sarili ko. To meet new friends. Maybe fall in love? Have dreams? Or find peace? Alam ko na dala niya kahit sa huling hininga niya ang guilt nang sobrang pagmamahal niya kay Daddy. Love made them both miserable – made my life miserable. And I wonder if it was still love or selfishness that brought them together?"

Jude didn't say a word.

She's assuming he didn't intend to explain it for her dahil wala rin itong tamang maisasagot sa kanya. Maybe love was just too broad to understand. Or maybe love is something you couldn't defend unless you felt it.

"Honestly," basag niyang muli, "love scares me, Jude."

"Mari –"

"But they say, if it doesn't scare you, then it will never make you stronger. Siguro kailangan ko lang talaga i-assess dito." Inilapat niya ang isang palad sa bandang puso niya. "Kung tama ba 'yong pagmamahal ko o sobra na naman." Iniyakap niya ang shawl sa katawan at inihilig ang ulo sa balikat nito.

Malakas na hampas ng alon ang bumasag sa katahimikan.

Naramdaman niya ang mainit na kamay ni Jude sa kanya. He laced his fingers with her. Iniangat nito ang makahagpong nilang mga kamay sa mga labi nito at marahan 'yong dinampian ng halik.

Napangiti siya.

"Jude."

"Hmm?"

"That day, noong niligtas mo ako sa mga goons." She was curious. "Was it planned –"

"No." Mabilis nitong sagot. "I was just following you. I mean no harm – well, no physical harm done. I was still assessing my moves but you seemed like you needed my help."

"So wala ka pa talagang balak na magpakita sa'kin?"

"Honestly, I haven't figured that out that time but the world just gave me an opportunity to do so."

"Meaning, may chance pa na mabago ang isip mo?"

"Siguro? I don't know."

"What about noong gabing pinasok ang bahay namin? You went there and saved me."

"I don't know."

"Hindi ka sigurado kung bakit niligtas mo ako?"

"You were scared."

"But you hated me."

"I hated your family but that doesn't mean I will let you die alone. I may have plans of ruining you but killing you was not in the options."

"You're bad at making options," napanguso siya.

Bahagya itong natawa. "I know. I'm trying to learn to make the right decisions now."

"Maybe you already cared for me back then?" Nakangiti niyang iniangat ang mukha rito. Napatitig ito sa kanya. "Pero ayaw mo lang aminin sa sarili mo."

"You know what's the better option, Marison?"

"Ano?"

He looks at her straight in the eyes.

"I should have loved you... for real."

"JUDE!"

Pagbukas ni Balti ng pinto ay imbes na ito ang magulat ay siya ang natigilan. May face mask pa ang mukha nito at may suot pa itong light blue cat ear hairband.

Humikab si Balti.

Tumingin ito sa likod niya.

"Where's Simon?"

Hindi niya mapigilan ang matawa.

"Hoy!"

"He had an emergency meeting." Tawang-tawa pa rin siya but he tried to control it baka 'di na sila magkakaintindihan ni Balti. "He'll be home late," he added. "Pero hindi raw siya makakatulog kapag 'di siya nakakain ng kimchi."

Natawa si Balti. "Ikamamatay ba niya ang hindi pagkain? Pasok ka." Nauna itong pumasok sa loob at sumunod siya. Sinundan niya ito hanggang sa kusina. "Maha made a lot. Malapit na akong ma-convince na bumili ng extra ref. Pero bakit ko naman gagawin 'yon kung pwede kong ipamigay ang mga gawa niyang dinuguang repolyo?"

Natawa ulit siya. "Alam ba ni Maha na pinamimigay mo 'yan?"

"She doesn't need to know."

Binuksan ni Balti ang two door refrigerator nito at bumungad sa kanya ang madaming tupperware ng iba't ibang klaseng seasoned food or whatever it was called. Amoy na amoy niya ang kimchi. The spice and herbs.

Kinuha nito ang dalawang transparent tupperware at inilapag 'yon sa malapit na island counter. He was not sure what was inside the red cover transparent tupperware but it looks like a seasoned quail eggs. Alam niyang kimchi 'yong may blue cover.

"What's the other one?" He pointed to the one with the red cover.

"Ewan anong pangalan niyan basta itlog ng pugo na nilunod sa soy sauce at sahog." Ngumisi ito. "Pero masarap 'yan."

"Sa tingin mo magugustuhan 'yan ni Mari?"

"She liked it. Lagi 'yong nagmu-mukbang kasama nila Chi at Au sa rooftop."

Kumunot ang noo niya. "Anong mukbang?"

"Parang eat all you can sa atin. Gusto mo tikman?" Binuksan nito ang cover ng quail eggs at kumuha ng kutsura. Balti scooped one quail egg saka 'yon iniumang sa kanyang bibig. "Open your mouth."

Mabilis niyang sinubo ang pagkain.

"How does it taste?"

"Lasang itlog," he chuckled.

"Sabi ko nga." Natawa silang pareho. Inilagay nito sa sink ang kutsara. "Nga pala, anong oras naman uuwi 'yong Voltes Five?" Muntik na siyang masamid sa sariling laway. "Balik trabaho ah. Akala ko tuluyan na 'yong mapapariwala sa buhay."

May ilang bottled water na naka display sa counter. Binuksan niya ang isa at inubos ang buong laman ng bote bago nagsalita.

"Magtatayo na raw siyang bahay."

"Ilang beses ko na 'yang narinig sa kanya. Hindi ako nadadala. Totoo na ba 'yan?"

"I think? He seemed serious this time."

"Ibebenta mo pa rin ba ang lupa mo?"

"Which reminds me. I need to talk with Iesus. I haven't seen him for two days. Alam mo ba kung na saan siya?"

"Out of the country pero babalik din 'yon. Tawagan mo na lang. Anyway, I'll have to look for a spare paper bag. I think I have one in my storage room sa taas. Hintayin mo na lang ako sa sala. Alisin ko na rin 'tong face mask na 'to."

"Kay Maha rin ba 'yan?"

Natawa ito. "She doesn't need to know."

"Patay ka talaga sa kapatid mo."

"Wala siyang magagawa nasa akin mga nobyo niyang kimchi. Bigyan na rin kitang tatlo. Bigay mo kay Simon at Thad. Maganda sa mukha parang nilawayan ang mukha mo ni Champo." Ngumisi ito.

He can't help but frown and laugh at the same time. It's gross! "Umakyat ka na nga," pagtataboy niya. "Bilisan mo at dadaanan ko pa si Mari."

"Ay sus, mag-go-goodnight kiss ka lang e –" Pabiro niyang tinulak si Balti. Tawa pa rin ito nang tawa. Napa-iling na lamang siya.

Bumalik siya sa sala at naupo sa sofa. Habang hinihintay si Balti ay bumaba ang tingin niya sa mga pile ng mga assignment activities sa mesa. Balti was seemed checking those papers. Nakabukas din ang lesson plan nito at laptop nito. Pero may napansin siyang itim na notebook sa ilalim ng isa pang cartoon notebook. Kapansin-pansin 'yon dahil bahagyang umusli ang kalahati ng katawan ng itim na notebook.

And something was urging him to look at it.

Umangat ang mukha niya at iginala ang tingin sa paligid. Hindi naman siguro mamasain ni Balti kung titignan niya ang laman ng notebook. It was probably just one of his activity notebooks.

Inalis niya ang notebook sa itaas no'n at iniangat ang itim na notebook. Naningkit ang mga mata niya. He felt something odd. Tila kumikinang 'yon pero mukhang hindi naman. It seemed like an old journal pero sigurado siyang bago 'yon dahil na rin sa kulay ng papel. Inalis niya ang ilang rubber bands na nakatali sa notebook at pagbukas na pagbukas niya ay napunta siya sa isang pahina kung saan may nakadikit na litrato ng isang lumang music box.

Naikiling niya ang ulo sa kaliwa.

The music box looks familiar. He tried to search in his memory kung saan nga ba niya 'yon nakita. Medyo 'di lang kasi malinaw ang larawan dahil mukhang iginuhit lang 'yon at kinunan lang ng picture gamit ng cell phone.

"Caja de música de deseos," basa niya.

Below the photo is a Spanish Description written in black ink but on top of it is the English translation in blue ink.

"Music box of," he murmured. He didn't understand the other word. He had forgotten his Spanish Subject in college. Inilabas niya ang cell phone at ibinaba muna ang notebook. Hinanap niya ang full translation. Hindi naman siya nahirapan. "Music box of wishes."

Inilapag niya ang cell phone sa mesa at muling kinuha ang notebook. Tinitigan niyang maagi ang desinyo ng music box.

"This one looks like Mari's music box."

"Jude!"

Natigilan siya at marahas na naiangat ang ulo kay Balti. Bumaba ang tingin nito sa hawak niya.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have –"

"No it's fine." Lumapit ito sa kanya at naupo sa tabi niya. Malinis na ang mukha nito at mukhang nagpalit ng damit. "Wait. Wala ka noong in-explain kina Thad ang tungkol sa mga hinahanap na cursed items ni Iesus?"

He nodded.

"Thad and Simon were talking about it but I didn't pay much attention."

He remembered a few details. He didn't quite grasp the whole idea but he kind of gets it that some of his friends are special and Iesus is discreetly looking for his ancestor's missing 12 cursed items. Isa na nga roon ang family heirloom na kwintas na pagmamay-ari ni Tor.

"I see."

"This music box," ipinakita niya rito ang pahinang nabuksan niya, "is this also a cursed item?"

Balti nodded. "Yup."

"Wala kang malinaw na picture nito."

"Bakit? May nakita ka bang kamukha ng music box nito?"

"I'm not sure but..."

"But?"

"I think it looks like Mari's music box."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Balti. "Nasa kanya ba?"

Now he's starting to worry. He couldn't be mistaken. Hopefully ay mali siya pero kahawig talaga ng drawing ang music box ni Mari.

"Alam mo ba ang laman ng music box?" tanong niya.

"A mother holding a baby."

"Fuck!"

Mabilis na tumayo siya at iniwan si Balti. Halos takbuhin niya ang pintuan ng bahay. Damn it! He knew those cursed items are dangerous. It almost took the life of Tor and Aurea. Hindi niya hahayaang saktan ng bagay na 'yon ang mag-ina niya.

"Jude!"

Never again!