SHE stood sideways in front of Chi's full-length mirror. She rested one hand on her belly. Napakurap siya. Parang lumaki bigla ang tiyan niya o dahil sa suot niyang dress?

"Busog na busog ah." Nagtama ang mga mata nila ni Chi mula sa salamin. She was grinning. May hawak pa itong mug na halos dumikit na sa pisngi nito. "Halatang-halata na ang tiyan mo campared kay Au."

"Oo nga e. Bigla na lang lumaki."

"Well, sabi nga nila kapag pinaalam mo sa lahat ang tungkol sa pagbubuntis mo ay gusto rin ng mga babies na makita sila. Anyway, it suited you. Bagay sa'yo maging mommy."

Napangiti siya. "Thanks."

"You'll be a lovely mother, Mari. Of course, Au, as well. Kapag 'di ko sinabi baka isipin niyang favoritism ako." Tumawa ito pagkatapos. "But I must say. Pareho kayong glowing ni Au."

Napatingin sila sa isa't isa nang marinig ang katok sa pinto. May pilyang ngiting tinignan niya si Chi.

"Baka ang Math mo 'yan."

Chi made a face. Natawa lang siya. "I doubt," anito saka tinungo ang pinto. Marahas na binuksan nito ang pinto at bumungad sa kanila ang nakatayong Jude. "Jude!"

Lumapit siya. "Jude!"

"Ahm," tinignan siya ni Chi, "I think may pinag-uutos sa'kin si Iesus. Dalawin ko muna sa kweba niya bago pa mahati ang dagat ng Faro." Ibinalik nito ang tingin kay Jude. "Jude, ikaw na muna bahala kay Mari. I shall be back." Chi patted his shoulders saka lumusot sa gilid ni Jude. Good thing mabilis na lumayo si Jude para makadaan ito nang maayos.

Itong si Chi talaga.

"Pasok ka," aniya.

"Hindi naman mainit sa labas. Care for a walk?"

She smiled. "Sige."

Magkaagapay silang naglakad. Hindi nga lang yata nila alam ang sasabihin sa isa't isa.

Maybe he only needed a companion minus the conversation. Hindi niya rin alam kung anong topic ang gusto niyang pag-usapan nila.

Well, hindi naman din masamang samahan si Jude kahit sa mga panahong gusto lang nitong manahimik.

Ending umuwi sila sa bahay ni Thad.

Naabutan nilang nakasalampak ng upo sa sahig si Thad. May ginagawang 2-storey house miniature. Nagtaka lang siya dahil sa sala ito gumagawa at hindi sa work room nito. Nakapatong lahat ng mga gamit nito sa malaking coffee table. Ang draft sketch ng bahay at instructions. Glue. Paints and brushes. Furniture miniatures.

"Oh, saan kayo galing?" tanong ni Thad.

"Naglakad-lakad lang kami ni Jude." Lumapit siya rito at naupo sa sofa sagawing kanan nito. "Thad, ano 'yang ginagawa mo?"

"I'm bored," nakangiti nitong sagot. Sumunod si Jude sa kanya pero nakaupo ito sa pang-isahang sofa. Kinuha nito ang sketchpad ni Thad. "I assembled a miniature house when I feel burned out from work. Stress reliever."

"Puro designs ginagawa mo pero ang escape mo pagbuo pa rin ng design ng bahay?"

"When I'm slacking off hindi ako nakakapag-isip nang maayos so I have to do something. I tried a lot of things but nothing works for me. At least sa pagbuo ng miniatures ay nakakapag-isip ako ng design para ma re-model ang isang structure. Look at this vintage house. It's old, of course, the structure and design from the exterior and interior but we can do more without totally vitiating its original design so we can upgrade the value. A few alterations will do. Maybe modernize the interiors a bit. "

Napakamot siya sa noo. "Wala akong naiintindihan."

Natawa si Thad. "You don't need to." Sandali itong nag-isip. "Hmm, want to help me?"

Namilog ang mga mata niya. "Help you? Naku! Wala akong talent diyan –"

"It's fine. Jude can do the final sketch."

Naikiling ni Jude ang ulo. "Me?"

Thad nodded. Inabot nito ang lapis kay Jude. "List down the things Mari wanted for her dream house."

"Dreamhouse ko?"

"I'll try to incorporate all your request in the final renovation of this house." Thad pointed a finger at his skeleton miniature house.

"Ahm – "

"Just think of it this way. You bought a land here in FDA. Which do you prefer? The seafront view or something greener?"

"Well, actually, gusto 'yong malapit sa dagat," sagot niya.

"Jude, jot it out. Don't miss any word."

"I haven't practiced my –"

"Write it," Thad cut him off.

Natawa lang siya lalo nang kumunot ang noo ni Jude. Parang gusto nitong tusukin ng lapis si Thad.

She continued. "Gusto ko 'yong madaming bintana. French doors. More like a resort villa. A cut out window inside para kahit may division sa loob ay may open space feels pa rin at nakikita ko ang ibang parte ng bahay. A terrace fronting the sea and may hammock para pwede akong magbasa ng libro sa hapon. Ayoko 'yong madaming kulay. Minimal lang and more on pastel colors. And I also wanted a little garden. Mahilig ako magtanim and I like to see flowers blooming in my house."

Napangiti siya sa imaheng nabubuo sa isip niya.

"How many rooms?" asked Thad.

"Probably seven," sagot ni Jude, "master's bedroom, baby's room – a bigger one, minimal design so it would be easier to convert it as personal rooms for the twins. And –" Natigilan ito nang mapansing nakatingin na silang dalawa ni Thad dito. "And –" Jude blinked. He looked like he's totally out of words to reason out. " – and whatever Mari prefers. Of course." Ibinalik nito ang tingin sa hawak na sketchpad. "Don't mind me."

Napansin niya ang pagpipigil ng ngiti ni Thad. "I could use a little help from you, Jude."

"I no longer practice it."

It may have been true but she saw Jude's sketches. 'Yong drawing pa lang nito sa resthouse ni Simon namangha na siya. He may have chosen a different field but he still has his creative drawing skills.

"I know but you seem to know what Mari wants."

"I don't know what she wants."

"Well, know what she wants."

But I don't think it would be a good idea.

"JUDE?" Kumatok siya sa pinto. "Jude, kakain na." Hinawakan niya ang knob ng pinto at napansing hindi naka lock ang kwarto nito dahil nabuksan niya agad. Bahagya niyang binuksan ang pinto. She poke her head inside. "Jude?" Walang tao pero naririnig niya ang malakas na lagaslas ng tubig sa loob ng banyo.

Pumasok na siya nang tuluyan. Naigala niya ang tingin. Wait. Hinahanap niya ang sketchpad ni Thad na dinala ni Jude. Pinapakuha 'yon ni Thad.

Ibinaling niya ang tingin sa working table. Nakita niya roon ang sketchpad. Lumapit siya. Sabihin niya na lang mamaya na kinuha niya.

Kinuha niya ang sketchpad pero bumungad sa kanya ang isang larawan sa itaas ng isang hello kity covered notebook na may plastic cover. Natuon sa larawan ang mga mata niya. It was Jude and Faith's photo. She felt something tug at her heart – a familiar pain and sadness.

Jude looks so happy – genuinely happy and in love in the photo.

"She's beautiful," aniya, smiling painfully.

Faith was covering her mouth with her hand. But her eyes were smiling. Kitang-kita ang diamond ring sa palasing-singan nito. She's assuming that it was on the day Jude proposed to her.

Nag-init ang sulok ng mga mata niya.

She couldn't imagine how hard it was for Jude. His grief changed him.

And it's more clearer to her that she couldn't replace Faith in his heart.

She can't make Jude smile like that. All those smiles on their photos were all not true.

"Mari?"

He wasn't really happy to see her – to be with her.

"Mari."

Napakurap siya at napalingon. Nagtama ang mga mata nila. He was already dressed but his hair was still wet. Lumapit ito sa kanya at nasilip mula sa likod niya ang nakita niya.

"Kakain na," basag niya. "Saka kukunin ko lang 'tong sketchpad ni Thad."

"Mari –" he looked apologetic but she cut him off.

She smiled. "It's fine." Iniangat niya ang sketchpad. "Kukunin ko na 'to. Hintayin ka namin sa ibaba." Iniwan na niya si Jude.

Paglabas niya nang kwarto ay marahas siyang napabuntonghininga.

She gulped.

What was she thinking? She shouldn't expect more. Nandito siya para alalayan si Jude.

At aalis din siya.

NATAGPUAN niya ang sarili sa floating dock. Naupo siya wooden foot bridge pagkatapos hubarin ang suot na sandals. Agad niyang naramdaman ang lamig ng tubig sa kanyang mga paa but it was bearable.

Hindi siya nagpahatid kay Jude pauwi sa rooftop. Pero ayaw pa niyang umuwi kaya sa floating dock siya nagpunta. She propped her hands a bit on both sides para matingala ang mga bituin sa langit.

Ramdam niya ang lamig ng hangin sa kanyang mga pisngi. She wasn't that cold dahil may suot naman siyang cardigan.

She just wants to be alone.

Ponder things for a little while.

Breathe.

But she was also curious how did Jude fell in love with Faith. For some, it wouldn't be a good idea to ask. She would probably feel inferior but she wanted to know everything about him.

Naisip niya.

Maybe loss is not the most painful thing in this world. Maybe it's the memories. We will look back at those happy moments and realized that all that have left are memories. We can always look back but we could no longer make new ones with that person. Time heals all wounds but memories last a lifetime.

It sort of makes sense.

"You lied."

Marahas na naingat niya ang mukha sa nagsalita.

"Jude!" She gasps.

Hinubad nito ang suot na sapatos. "Sinabi mong uuwi ka na." Naupo ito sa tabi niya. Nakalublob ang mga paa sa tubig. "Good thing I followed you."

Napakurap siya. "You followed me?!" bahagyang nakasigaw.

"O, galit ka na naman."

"I'm not mad." Kalmado na ang boses. "But why?"

"I just want to make sure you reached home safely."

She simply nod her head. "Hindi pa ako inaantok." Ibinaling niya ang tingin sa harap. "Pero uuwi na rin ako mamaya."

"That photo –"

"I know." She smiled and glanced at him. "She was really beautiful."

Jude smiled, "I know."

"Love at first sight?" Namilog ang mga mata nito. Well, nagulat din siya sa sarili niya kung saan niya nakuha ang tapang na itanong 'yon. "I'm sorry. You don't need to answer me."

"No. It's fine." He paused. "I'm not sure if it was love at first sight. She was weird."

Naibaling niyang muli ang tingin dito. "Weird?"

"We met ten years ago. During Univerity Battle of the Bands. We were not in the same university. We won that competition and then she approached me backstage. Well, it's not what you think it was."

"JUDE ASRAEL?"

Natigil ang pag-aasaran nila Jude at Samson dahil sa biglang dating na babae. She was wearing her uniform. Not in the same school he was in. Bumaba ang tingin niya sa ID nito. –lac Faith Gal –. 'Yon lang ang nabasa niya sa daming nakapalawit sa ID nito.

"Yes?" nakangiting humarap siya sa babae. She was pretty.

"Answer all the questions." Inabot nito sa kanya ang isang pink hello kitty covered notebook. Ang sama ng tingin nito sa kanya. Was she annoyed? "I don't have much time. Dali para makaalis na ako."

Naikiling niya ang ulo. "And why would I do that?" Tinanggap pa rin niya ang notebook. He opened the first two to three pages. It was slumbook. Personalised slumbook na sa tingin niya ay sulat kamay ng babae.

"Hurry up."

"Look Miss, I don't give private information to strangers."

But he wasn't annoyed. He was rather fascinated with the woman. Naaliw siya sa mukha nitong sa mga oras na 'yon na namumula na sa inis.

"It's not what you think –"

"Oh, were we thinking the same thing?" he smirked.

"It's not for me. I don't like you. It's for my friend. Dali na. Kahit huwag muna sagutan lahat. Name na lang at some favorites."

"And what will I have in return?"

"Peace of mind!"

"Para sa'kin o para sa'yo?"

Pinanlakihan siya nito ng mga mata. Umawang ang mga labi nito. "Am –"

"Faith!" Dumating ang isa pang babae na kapareho nito ng uniform. Hinawakan nito ang braso ng tinawag nitong Faith. Oh, her name was Faith? "Tama na 'yan. Umuwi na lang tayo."

Faith didn't budge. She looks at him with determined eyes. "Jude Asrael Savio," anito, "crush ka ng kaibigan ko." Iniharap nito ang kaibigan nitong hiyang-hiya. Hindi ito makatingin sa kanya nang diretso. "Caroline Anne Suarez. Single and ready to mingle!"

"Faith!" sigaw ng kaibigan nito. Hinaklit nito ang slumbook sa kamay niya at hinila si Faith. "Tara na nga! Adik ka!" Kinaladkad nito ang kaibigan.

"09195437 –"

Tawang-tawa siya nang busalan ng kaibigan nito ang bibig ni Faith.

Napakurap siya.

Ginawa 'yon ni Faith?

Natawa siya bigla. "Sorry." Pero tawang-tawa pa rin talaga siya. Naluluha siya. "Na-imagine ko. Sorry."

"It's fine." Jude smiled. "Natatawa rin ako kapag naalala ko 'yon."

"Ang kulit niya rin pala. So anong nangyari af –" Wait! Tama bang magtanong pa siya?

"Hinanap ko siya sa university niya." Sinagot pa rin siya ni Jude. "Tried searching for her on social media. But during that time, social media has limited information so it was always you get too lucky or too unfortunate. I couldn't find her there so I asked someone I know who went to the same university."

"And you found her?"

He nodded. "Yes. She was taking up Secondary Education."

"Nilagawan mo agad?"

"Nanligaw ako ng isang taon."

"Nang isang taon?!"

Jude nodded.

Nanlumo siya. Isang taon bago sinagot ni Faith si Jude. Samantalang siya. Dalawang buwan – wait! Umabot ba talagang dalawang buwan 'yon? Sure siyang hindi. Gosh! And she gave everything.

Ang layo nga talaga niya kay Faith. Marupok siya. Si Faith, matalino.

"Siya ang inspiration mo sa Secret?" tanong na lang niya.

"Yes." Natawa siya. "O bakit?"

"Alam mo hindi ko talaga naisip na may girlfriend ka. Siguro flings pero not a serious one."

Mapait itong ngumiti. "We've been through a lot. She's here and I'm across the world. I thought it wouldn't work."

"But it worked."

"But still –"

"Alam mo Jude. We always feel like we've done not enough but in some people, we've done more than enough. Not everyone in this world gets the same genuine love that you felt for her. It's rare to find a love like that and Faith is lucky that she found a man who will love her faithfully. You may feel that you could have done more. That you could have made her happier, but you know what I learned for the past months? It is better to love less than to not love at all. It's easy to say I love you but it's hard to know if it's true. And if someone loves you genuinely in this lifetime. No matter how short-lived your life was... it would still be worth it."

She smiled.

"Mari –"

"And believe me," hinuli niya ang mga mata nito, "Faith loves you very much and she will be forever grateful for your existence."

Tears welled up from his eyes. Umangat ang isang kamay niya para haplosin sana ang pisngi nito but he held it. And he didn't expect what he did next. He kissed her forehead.

"Thank you."

Napakurap siya. Her heart was beating so fast. She felt it. It was real. It was sincere. Lumayo ito sa kanya at muling nagtama ang mga mata nila. She stared at him. Hoping that she will find answers in his eyes but his gaze went down to her belly.

Bahagya siyang nagitla nang ilapat ni Jude ang isang palad sa kanyang tiyan.

"I can't believe we're having twins," malambing nitong sabi. Umangat ang mukha nito sa kanya. "Hindi ka ba nahihirapan sa pagbubuntis mo?"

Napalunok siya. "Ahm," Mari think! "O-Okay lang naman – I mean, the first two months was stressful." She found herself calm now. A bit. "Naduduwal ako sa umaga. Ayoko kumain. Pero ngayon, halos hindi ako nabubusog."

Jude chuckled, "I can see it."

"Tumaba ako." She sighed. "I know."

Alam niya 'yon. Lumulubo na ang mga pisngi niya. Ang sikip na noong mga luma niyang damit.

"Fluffy."

"Is that even a good thing?"

"It doesn't matter. You're still beautiful." Tinitigan niya ito. "And I mean it." Putting emphasis on the third word.

Sa huli ay mas pinili niya ang ngumiti na lamang.

"Jude."

"Hmm?"

"Do you have regrets?"

Napatitig ito sa kanya. He was taken aback. He may or may not answer her but it was worth the try.

"Honestly, I regretted everything and I know it's too late for that but I couldn't imagine my life without you there, Mari. If I didn't do it, then will there be another way for us to meet?"

Kumunot ang noo niya.

"Why would you want to meet me?"

"I don't know." He shrugged his shoulders. "But will you find a way then?"

"I might?"

"But you will?"

"I guess? Para magpa-autograph?" Kumawala ang isang ngiti at tawa sa bibig ni Jude. "Oy seryoso ako. Kahit hindi mo ako kinidnap. Malamang ako ang kumidnap sa'yo." Pigil niya ang ngiti.

"Kaya mo?"

"'Yong standee lang maiuuwi ko."

"God, Mari!" Mariin nitong hinalikan ang tuktok ng ulo niya. "Iuuwi na kita."

"May bahay ka ba?"

"Sa bahay ni Chi." Tumayo na ito. Jude held a hand for her. "C'mon, stand up. Masyado nang malamig. Ayokong magkasakit ka." Tinanggap niya ang kamay nito. He gently pulled her up on her feet. He bent one knee on the floor para maisuot sa kanya ang sandals niya.

Napahawak siya sa kanyang tiyan.

"Jude, nagugutom ako."

"Nagugutom ka?" Tumayo ito pero bahagyang nakayuko habang isa-isang isinusuot ang sapatos nito. "Anong gusto mong kainin?"

"Leche flan."

Kumunot ang noo nito. "Wala kaming leche flan."

"Feeling ko hindi ako makakatulog kapag 'di ako nakakain no'n."

Nahilot ni Jude ang sentido. "Pwede bang tumawad ng ice cream?"

"May leche flan ba na ice cream?"

"I don't think so."

SUNOD-SUNOD ang katok ni Jude sa pinto ng bahay ni Juan.

"Juan! Jua –"

Bumukas bigla ang pinto. Naniningkit ang mga mata ni Juan. "Ano bang problema natin Jude? Gabing-gabi na."

"Nagugutom si Mari."

"Ako rin."

It was already past 9 pm. It's either gutom na naman si Juan o 'di pa ito kumakain. He doubts the latter.

"Not that. May leche flan ka ba riyan?"

"Why would you think mayroon ako?"

"Meron ba?"

"No. Pero nagki-crave rin ako." Isinirado nito ang pinto sa likod at nilagpasan siya. "Restaurant ang ref ni Math. Maybe we could find something to eat."

Sumunod siya kay Juan at pinuntahan nila ang bahay ni Math. Nagpang-abot silang tatlo ni Iesus doon. Nakaparada ang kotse nito sa harap ng bahay ni Math.

"Jude!" gulat na bati nito. "Juan?" baling din nito rito. "Anong ginagawa n'yo rito?"

"Naghahanap kami ng leche flan," sagot ni Juan.

"Mari is craving for it."

"I see."

Lumabas si Math. Gulat na gulat na makita silang tatlo. "Dito ba magaganap ang last supper?" biro pa nito nang makalapit. "Anong ipaglilingkod ko sa inyo ngayong gabi?"

"Gustong kumain ng leche flan ni Mari," sagot niya.

"Oh." Nahimas nito ang baba. "Wala ako no'n pero madali naman 'yong gawin. Kaso –"

"Kaso?" the three of them said in unison.

Ngumisi si Math. "Naubos na ang tray ng itlog ko sa kusina. Bukas pa ako mag-grocery."

"I have," ni Iesus. Napatingin sila rito. "Well, it's not really for me. My mother asked me to give it to the nuns in the monastery but I'll just buy another tray tomorrow. Kunin ko lang." Bumalik sa kotse nito si Iesus.

Math clasped his hands. "Jude, consider your problem solved."

"Math, damihan mo, kakain din ako," dagdag ni Juan.

"Ikaw ba si Mari?"

"Hindi pero may tiyan din ako."