X. the devil's in the details

warnings:
mentions of sa and abuse

JJ Maybank invaded Bridger's thoughts like the plague. He drank so that the buzz would make him grow dizzy and he smoked so the horrible taste of smoke would replace the need he felt to feel JJ's lips on his. The thought was so vile that it made Bridger feel sick. How could he think these things when he had a girlfriend? He wasn't a cheater. He despised cheaters. Thinking about the Pogue made him feel vile and unworthy. He wanted to smoke till his lung's collapsed. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" Asked Inez.

The two of them sitting in his backyard, rocking back and forth on the swing. Bridger's left eye was visibly purple and he had a few cuts on his face. "Yeah, I'm okay." He nodded. "A shiner isn't gonna stop me."

She gave a small smile. "I mean are you okay okay?"

He looked at her oddly. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you've been acting different since what happened at the movie."

Bridger chuckled. "Different how?"

"Distant. Like you don't want to be around any of us," she stated.

"I didn't want that fight to happen, Nez. It went way too far. Of course I'm going to feel a little on edge,"

Inez nodded. "I know, but, I don't know. . ."

She looked down at her hands and he sighed. He tightened his arm around her shoulder. "Hey, I'm fine, okay? I just hate fights. Everything's okay." He lied again.

Her expression read that she was unconvinced but she nodded anyway. She laid her head on his shoulder. Bridger's face fell slightly and he looked ahead of him, chewing on his inner cheek.

When Bridger got a call from Pope telling him that JJ had been arrested, he sped all the way to the Kildare Police Department. Pope told him they were going to arrest him for sinking Topper's boat but JJ took the fault for him. What got him was when Pope said that JJ wanted him to come. "Fucking stupid," Bridger muttered to himself angrily and he squeezed his fists around the steering wheel.

He didn't know exactly what pulled him there, but Bridger had a feeling something bad was going to happen. He felt it in his gut. When he got to the police station, he argued with the cops to let him pay the bail.

"This is so stupid!" He nearly shouted. He saw Sheriff Peterkin come out of her office and he immediately ran up to her. "Sheriff Peterkin, I'm here to pay for JJ's bail." He stated in a quick breath.

Peterkin sighed. "You know I can't let you do that, Bridger."

"Come on, you know I have the money. Just let me get it over with," he laughed to conceal his anger.

"Bridger, I can't let you do that. We have to release him to his father."

Bridger's blood ran cold. His face fell. "His dad? His dad's coming to get him?"

"We called him when JJ got here." Peterkin nodded.

"N-No, you can't do that. Okay? you can't do that,"  Bridger stuttered. "J-Just let me pay, okay? I can
pay—"

The officers brought JJ out into the lobby and Bridger quickly walked up to him. The blonde smiled at the sight of him. "You came."

"You told me to," he replied simply. He looked at the officers that were with him. "Can I, uh. . . talk to him for a minute?"

The officers looked over at Peterkin and she nodded,  telling them it was okay. "Five minutes." He said and they walked away to the other side of the hall.

Bridger glared at JJ. "You're one stupid motherfucker,  you know that? Why would take the fall for him?" H hissed.

"He's my best friend, Bridger. I don't know if you Kooks do that, but us Pogues, we stick up for each other," JJ said, also hissing under his breath, "Besides, Pope can't afford jail. He's got too much going for him."

"So that's why you did it?" Bridger scoffed. "Cause you feel like you don't have anything going for you? You're a lot dumber that I thought you were if you believe that,"

JJ formed a smirk. "Are you insulting me right now cause you care about me?"

"I hate you, you know that? I hate that you put yourself in these situations." Bridger shook his head. "I-I tried paying your bail but they won't let me,"

His smirk fell into a smile and his blue eyes gleamed. "You tried bailing me out?"

"Course I did. I'm rich, remember? These assholes won't let me though."

JJ chuckled. "Even after the fight, you're still looking out for me."

"I'm trying to make sure you don't ruin your life." Bridger said coldly.

"Too late for that, baby."

He shook his head in disbelief. "Stop. Stop that, okay? This isn't okay. None of this is okay."

JJ suddenly got deja vu. He smiled sadly. "I know, but, there's nothing I can do about it."

The bell above the door chimed and Luke Maybank walked in. His blonde hair was dirty along with his clothes but his blue eyes shined. They were just like JJ's only they were colder and more cruel. JJ's eyes were soft and wild but they were beautiful.

JJ was nothing like Luke Maybank.

Bridger could see the fear cross over JJ's face when he saw his dad. "You're his guardian?" The woman at the front desk asked.

"Sorry to say I'm his father." Luke snapped.

"Well, hearing will be in two weeks. If you fail to show up, you will forfeit your bail. The restitution will be based on the average of three outside estimates of the cost of the damaged article."

The man took a pause. "Restitution?" He questioned.

"Pay for what he broke. It's part of the plea."

Luke glared at JJ so fiercely that it made Bridger feel scared. He had yet to notice the brunette standing there. Bridger could feel JJ shaking and he wasn't even touching him.

"Let's go. Go now!" Luke ordered his son. That's when he saw Bridger. "Who the hell are you?"

Both Bridger and JJ went silent. Their eyes flickered to each other.

Luke looked between the two of them and back at Bridger, then he laughed and pointed at finger at him. "Oh, oh. . . I know who you are. Bridger Fitzgerald," he said his name in a haunting manner.

Bridger gulped.

"And here I thought your daddy beat you dead."

If he wasn't standing in a literal police station, he would end Luke Maybank's life right here. Instead, he glared at the man without saying a word.

JJ immediately looked at Bridger with confused eyes at his dad's statement but the boy refused to look at him.

Luke grabbed JJ's arm and tugged on it harshly,  leading him out the door.

Bridger followed them out. "I'll come find you, JJ. I promise." He declared with a break in his voice.

At that point, he didn't care if anybody heard him. JJ was in danger and Bridger was suffering on the inside.

JJ looked over his shoulder, both in love and fear. He got in his dad's car and Bridger walked the other way,  panicking. He ran his hands through his hair anxiously and he felt like he was going to throw up.

Bridger got in his car and locked his doors. The windows were tinted so nobody could see inside. He started to cry. Tears filled his eyes and his face scrunched in painfully. A single sob escaped his lips and he banged him hands on the steering wheel. "FUCK! FUCK!" He dragged his hands along his face and inhaled sharply. "Fuck!" He screamed to himself.

He wanted to kill Luke for what he knew was going to come. He hated the man with every fiber in his body. He hated that he showed no love to his son. He wanted to make him suffer like he made JJ suffer.

Oh, but there was nobody he hated more than Dawson Fitzgerald, and the whole way back home, his heart darkened when he thought about his father.

When Bridger slammed the front door shut, his father stormed into the living room. "Don't slam my damn door!"

"I'll slam whatever I want!" Bridger snapped and headed for the stairs.

"Hey!" Dawson snapped and charged after him. "Where you been, huh?"

"None of your damn business."

The man grabbed Bridger's arms and attempted to shove him against the stairs but he shoved him back in anger. "Don't fucking touch me!" The teenager shrieked.

"You really don't want to do this, boy." His father threatened and pointed a finger at him.

"What are you gonna do, huh? Beat me? Hurt me? You already do that enough." A white hot sting attached itself to his face. Bridger touched his cheek gingerly and winced. He glared at his dad. "I fucking hate you!"

His dad went to hit him again but Bridger grabbed his wrist. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" He shouted repeatedly. He shoved his dad backwards. "You fucking ruined my life!"

"I ruined your life?" Dawson shouted back. "I saved your life, boy! I could've easily told everyone that I caught you with that Maybank boy. I didn't cause I don't want people to know my son's a fag."

And boom. Suddenly, all Bridger saw was red, dark red. His knuckles split open and blood poured on the floor. Pain seared in his face and hands but he didn't care. He didn't feel a thing. He let out a battle cry and grabbed his dad by the collar of his shirt and backed him up at the way into the wall. He hit him repeatedly in the face till their blood mixed together.

Flashbacks of those terrible nights appeared in front of his vision and his eyes turned black. His dad's face flashed side to side quickly and Bridger have him not time to fight back. "You ruined everything!" He shouted in his face, spit flying from his mouth. "You're the reason I'm like this. You fucking ruined me!"

Crack glass against the wall and reveal in the shards.  That was Bridger's heart on the ground, sharp edged and bruised. His ribs beat against his lungs as more blood flew. He blinked and he saw his father on top of him, a young Bridger; a boy that still had somewhat of his innocence left. He blinked again and he saw his father enter his room to see him and JJ kissing. He blinked again and he could suddenly hear his cries of pain when the sky was dark and his dad was awake and in his room. 

It was his dad. His dad was the problem. He was the cause of all of this. He was the reason him and JJ couldn't be together. He was the reason Bridger had to hide who he was. It was all his fault.

Dawson Fitzgerald laid on the floor, groaning in pain, his face leaking blood and his hands were bloody and bruised. Bridger stood above him, breathing in and out deeply, with vermilion dripping from his cut knuckles.

His father smirked, showing the blood on his teeth. "Feel better?" He said with a drunken laugh.

"Not even close."

Heavy wind, cold rain, and thunder mixed together in his chest, creating the ultimate storm. The butterfly effect was taking its place for the second time.