As a thank you for 200 reads and all the nice comments, I present a bonus story!

*This extra story contains spoilers*

it surprised ricky the most that it had been a full year since the bridge accident.

time had flew too fast for the man, but time seemed to slow down on the man he used to love's special day -- his birthday. 

ricky had only celebrated ricky's birthday twice -- one time in college and the other time when they lived together. this being the third time, matt wasn't alive to celebrate along with them. but his siblings were still breathing and so were his parents, unfortunately.

"it's his special day huh?" one of nate's long arms flopped over ricky's bare chest with a thud. ricky glanced up at the new man that accompanied him in his bed with a sad grin. nate had taken matt's place, but ricky deeply knew nobody can replace the fascination matthew willis brought to him.

"i was thinking visiting his grave? maybe bring along katrina and harry perhaps?" ricky said, brushing away nate's auburn locks away from his eyes.

"they'd appreciate it." nate murmured, burying his head into the crook of ricky's neck. ricky shivered at the touch, still not used to the affection nate had showered him in. he had lacked affection from matt for the last two years and he had grown used to it. occasionally ricky would have to remind himself nate was genuine in his touches, never fake.

"mind getting out of bed? we still have to pick them up and buy a few things." ricky playfully shoved nate away so he can get up, a laugh rumbling in his throat. nate chuckled, pushing away the duvet so he can carry on with his day.

ricky watched as his new partner disappeared into the bathroom, probably waiting for him to join him. all of this was completely new to ricky, and nate knew that well. ricky was a bit awkward when returning affection and was a tomato when receiving it. it took a while to get used to the new routine nate and him had begun. especially with all the naughty things added, ricky was overwhelmed with the newness most of the time.

ricky rolled his eyes with a smile, picking up his phone and dialing the willis siblings.

------

"do you think matt would like lilacs? he's always hated the smell, but they're so pretty." the now seventeen year-old katrina asked, still sounding like the immature thirteen year-old ricky met all those years ago.

"he won't complain." harry muttered, seemingly enjoying leaning against the window. ricky was glad when harry accepted matt, but he was late. he had a change of heart once they buried matt six feet under.

"we're almost there." nate cheered, a smile present on his face. even though he never truly knew matt, he still wanted to go. ricky was thankful for someone like him.

the cemetary came into view shortly, and the four of them parked the car and headed to matt's grave. matt was buried underneath an oak tree, his gravestone empty of flowers and cards. ricky disliked how his parents wrote nothing on his stone, and was disgusted they didn't list "a loving son".

"hello big brother." katrina whispered as she approached the gravestone. harry trailed behind her, also lagging a little behind ricky and nate.

"good to see you matthew. ricky has told me plenty of good things about you." nate kneeled down beside katrina, both of them staring down with sad smiles.

ricky and harry strayed from them, not getting close. in a matter of time, katrina and nate were conversing with 'matt' and talking about what's going on.

"why aren't you joining them?" harry asked, his eyes avoiding ricky's.

"that's what i should be asking you." ricky replied, a half-hearted chukle escaped his lips. an awkward pause happened between them, both trying to find the right words. it was harry who spoke up first.

"i-i failed him. if i just told him i loved him everything would be okay. he would be standing beside you, not under you." harry whispered, his voice cracking.

"you didn't fail him harry. he's been depressed for a while now. if there's someone to blame it should be your parents." ricky said quietly.

"you must be so sad without him." tears started to fall down the young boy's eyes. it scared ricky to notice how much harry looked like him. crying harry reminded him so much of matt when he cried on the bridge.

"i am, but just because i have nate doesn't mean i'm still sad every day. matt was my first and made me realize who i was." harry wiped away his tears and looked over at the gravestone, taking in ricky's words. katrina and nate were laughing over something they said to matt, the scene so obsurd but heart-warming.

"i'm sorry i was so rude. will matt forgive me?" harry asked, now looking directly at ricky for the first time.

"he will. i'm sure of it. come on harry, let's go see matt." with a smile, the two of them joined katrina and nate's chat with matt.