Genesis

People normally kill themselves for loads of reasons.

Roman O'Connor though?

He just had one, actually, make them two.

"Aren't you gonna invite us in?"

God not this again.

Roman gulped. Anxiety kicked when he saw Koslov and his four lapdogs standing in the hallway of his cheap getaway motel. "How'd you, uh—how'd you guys find me?"

"You called your boyfriend from a landline in Schenectady. Easy to trace." One of the younger guys standing in the back supplied, as though being helpful. What was his name again—Anatoly?

"Oh I'm glad you did, because I just came into easy 20G's. My grandma, the one who lost a leg because of diabetes finally died so my inheritance kicked in sooner than expected and I want to pay you some of the money I owe."

Koslov's face contorted upon processing Roman's words. "Is that so?"

"Yeah," Roman quickly nodded. "I'll get it to you first thing tomorrow morning when I cash in the cheque."

The room was way too silent, at this point you could practically hear someone's heartbeat. And that someone no doubt Roman—heart racing 120 miles a minute.

"In the meantime," he added with borrowed confidence. "You guys can just hang around for a bit, care for some drinks? I have a bottle of Pushkin in the freezer."

"See, Roman. You fool me once, shame on me." With a fixed glare, Koslov's square jaw ticked. "You fool me twice, I fuck you up."

Roman let out a nervous chuckle. "I don't think that's how the saying goes, listen..."

"Shut up!" Koslov's voice echoed throughout the motel, silencing both Roman and a passersby talking over the phone.

"Do it."

"Whoa, whoa."  Roman's hands flew in the air, waving frenziedly like a complete nutter. "It?  W-what do you mean by it?"

"Take his balls!"

Roman felt stupid for thinking he'd gotten rid of these guys a long time ago. Too bad Koslov was not the only loan shark hunting him down. He owed a hell lot of people, most of them dangerous and he had no idea how he was going to get out of all his debts—alive.

"Now you're just being unreasonable, Koslov," Roman began to slowly back away.

"Unreasonable is disappearing with my 26 grand after begging me to help you."

"So you gonna what? Kill me?" Roman chuckled breathlessly. "How's killing me supposed to cover the money I owe?"

"Nah forget about the money, but first we're going to split your nut sack then we're going to kill you." Koslov was getting physically closer. "Just doing the world a favor by taking out the trash."

"Wait! No, please wait!"

"I said get me his damn balls."

Roman didn't even waste much time thinking about his next move. Not that he had the luxury to think anyways. He pushed his way through the men blocking his exit and ran like a mad bat from hell.

Unfortunately for Roman, being chased down by a couple henchmen who looked like they enjoyed spending their Sundays at fight club wasn't exactly reassuring at all. The men were fast, their gunshots almost as precise and they were out for his balls—literally.

"You're a dead man O'Connor!" Behind him, Roman could hear Koslov completely losing his shit.

Seriously, get in line dude.

How Roman managed to flee from that dingy motel into busy streets of Manhattan unscathed was an unsolved mystery.

Looking around, Roman searched for his pursuers, but it was obvious for some reason they'd decided to retreat. Good or bad? Roman was confused but he wasn't about to hang back around to find out.  

Choosing to keep up pace, Roman pushed his body a little bit harder, his calves burned, and his breath formed clouds in the freezing December air. He kept on going so fast he thought his lungs were going to explode inside his ribcage.

***

"Hey, Max, remember how you're always saying we should go on a vacation?"

"Mm-hmm."

"How 'bout we go right now."

From the couch, Max glared at Roman beginning to sense something was off.

"Jesus Christ, Rome, what have you done now?"

"Nothing. Look I'll take you to Mexico, you've always wanted to go there, right?" Roman stared at his fiancé who was watching TV making no effort to offer input. "We'll enjoy the nice weather, dance and sit by the beach. It will be worth it, I promise."

"Roman." Max let out a deep sigh.

"All right, you're right. You're always right. I'm in serious trouble." Roman admitted. "There's some guys after me. We need to skip town for a bit, at least until everything cools off."

"How can you pull this shit on me now?" Max scowled. "You know the wedding is in two days. Two days Roman!"

"I'm sorry, baby. But we gotta go."

"No."

"Max seriously, we don't have time for this back and forth business."

"Rome, I love you but I can't continue letting you drag me down to hell with you." Max shook his head. "I can't continue living like this. I don't want this for myself." 

"Max, it'll get better. I swear."

"Just last month, how many times have you said that?"

"It will be different this time around," said Roman. "I will be different."

Max sighed again and stood from the love seat he was sprawled on. "I'm sorry," he murmured as he moved toward the door. "We're done."

"Maxwell?"

"I will come back to collect my stuff tomorrow after work." Swallowing thickly, Max shrugged. "I guess you don't have to worry about rent and utilities next month, I'd already paid in advance."

"It really doesn't have to end this way."

Max looked at him, his damp eyes filling up. "I wish it didn't but shit Roman, I have to let you go for the sake of my own sanity."

This is how a few days later after another rude attempt on his life, Roman found himself standing at the edge of George Washington Bridge. The only barrier between him and the Hudson River 25 stories below—a waist-high metal handrail. No fencing. No netting. No wall. The fall would be lethal that's for sure, if at all he survived.

When you're about to die, you think about your biggest regrets in your life.

Roman's biggest regret in life was everything that had led to losing Max.

It wasn't fair.

He kept thinking about Max and how much he missed him.

The question was, did he miss him too?

Things had finally started going right for him. He was about to marry the man he loved and now the universe was taking it all away.

He had nothing to live for.

Max was right, Roman should've checked in a long time ago with one of those groups that meets up at least once a week saying, "Hi, my name is Roman, I'm an addict."  Maybe he wouldn't be here today if he'd listened.

Roman was a hard-core gambler. He gambled on anything, horses, football games, if grandpa Lopez next door was going to die next week. Seriously, anything. Clearly he wasn't good at it considering how much debt he was drowning in.

Just as he was about to...

"Excuse me, do you have a minute?"

Roman blinked and worked his jaw, glaring at the stranger interrupting him. "Nope."

It was a man who looked like he was in his early forties perhaps even late thirties. Hard to gauge when you're suspended at the edge of a bridge. 

"Don't." The man sounded closer now. "Whatever the problem is, it's not worth killing yourself over."

"Hell would you know?" Roman snapped.

"I know about feeling worthless and having no sense of purpose in life."

"Look, man. I'm gonna jump anyway." Roman was uninterested. "No reason to bore me to death."

"The point is, it's never too late to get your life back on the right track." The stranger casually lit up a Marlborough and took a long drag before releasing smoke in short puffs. "Have you thought of asking God for help?"

"I don't believe in God."

"I'm sorry you feel that way because despite what many people think, God provides." The man said as though it was common knowledge. "You just have to grab the opportunities that he shoves your way by the balls."

"Yeah, well, maybe in my next life if I get reincarnated as a human."

"Trust me, you're about to make the biggest mistake of your life."

"What do you care?" Roman didn't understand this man's angle. Why couldn't he just mind his own business just like any other New Yorker who had walked past him? "You don't give a shit about me."

"Yes, you're right, I don't give a shit about you but I need you to hear me first before you...you know, kill yourself."

"I suppose I can wait for five more minutes." Truth be told, Roman was terrified to take that one final step.

Perhaps his guardian angel had appeared in his worst moment.

"I want to propose to you some business, a onetime robbery," said the man. "I'm looking for someone who...well, has nothing much to lose."

Roman and the man stared at each other, minds playing cat and mouse.

"What do you think about 25 million euros each, give or take?"

"I say you're full of it."

"I have been thinking about this job for much longer." The stranger added, his eyes on Roman. "Not to have to ever work again. Neither you nor your children."

"I'm not hitting a bank," Roman scoffed. "That's stupid."

"Who said anything about a bank?"

Roman stared at him, confused. "Not a bank?"

"Try a church."

And that's how Roman met Big Lou, the man who was about to change his whole life forever.