"Like almost every truly horrible
thing that has ever happened
in the history of our world,
the end also began with a kiss."

~~Dennis Sharpe

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~Torch/Raziel~

Everything around me was frozen. I could feel every pair of eyes in the room boring holes into my head from every direction. Tension along with anticipation riddled each microscopic molecule in the air, thickening it to the point of near tangibility. If it hadn't been for centuries of practice in masking my reactions, I would have unequivocally flinched.

I stared back into wide, innocent green eyes that were filled with shock and wonder as she, and everyone else in the room, waited for my response. It would have been easy to deny the accusation, and just as easy to prove for the most part, but that's not what I wanted. I had left those guards down, hadn't cloaked that side of myself for the first time in decades, for a reason. I needed these people on my side, to trust me. It was the only way.

But to answer would make myself more vulnerable than I already was and I despised any show of weakness. To reveal the truth was to invite even more danger for myself, but also for the individuals staring at me like a freak show. It was odd if I really let myself think about it, considering present company anyway. 

Finally, after the heavy silence had grown nearly suffocating, I took a slow, deep breath. Then, with one simple, barely perceptible nod and a single word, I confirmed the young girl's conclusion. 

"Yes."

"I knew you were weird," Nova muttered under his breath, mostly to himself, drawing my attention as he cocked his head to the side in curiosity. 

I took a moment to carefully study the young prince, trying to discern his thoughts or opinions but came up with nothing. His eyes, hooded with dark shadows beneath them, were a shade I had rarely seen before. Unlike the first time the two of us had come face to face when they were bright and burning with magick, now they were almost more stunning; a mixture of blue and purple that reminded me of the milky way in a night sky. Blonde locks drifted across his face in desperate need of a trim as they rested across prominent cheekbones. 

But there was nothing that told me anything that could be going on inside his head. For someone so young, he held a mask as well as any ancient warrior, a talent of which I was truly impressed. The boy returned my gaze confidently and I could feel the subtle pinpricks of magick dancing over my skin as he and the girl scrutinized my energy patterns. Draining my glass, the whiskey barely burning my throat on the way down, I set it aside and relaxed back into the cushions.

"I assume there are questions," I prompted, curious as to how long any of them could contain their own ardent interest.

"How?" Nevada asked, chewing nervously on her bottom lip. "I mean, what…"

The girl trailed off, a gentle blush rising in her cheeks as she looked down at her lap, obviously embarrassed. I pushed down the urge to smile at her innocence, a rarity in my world that seemed almost mythical but there it was nonetheless. 

"What am I?" I completed the question for her, pausing to see how the girl would respond. As expected, the color seeped to a delicate shade of red but she refused to meet my eyes as she nodded. Shrugging nonchalantly, I answered. "How? I was born this way. The what? Vampire and Fae, not unlike yourself August."

I purposely drew the conversation away from the poor girl as she suddenly looked like she might pass out or have an aneurysm. It was not my intention to turn anyone into a blubbering mess of any kind so I had to take pity on her. 

"I wasn't born a hybrid," August corrected, his deep voice rumbling through the room as he pulled Nevada onto his lap. "How is it possible that you were?"

"Ah, the million dollar question," I acknowledged, my eyes traveling to my little brother.

Michael could barely look at me when they had first arrived, fleeing from me at the first opportunity. But he was watching me now, kaleidoscopic irises glued to my face without blinking. I could see the surprise and questions flickering beneath the surface but he remained silent. Ignoring the clench in my chest, I looked up at the ceiling in thought.

"I'm not sure anyone really knows how, or why, to be honest," I said, looking back at August and then to his progeny who simply glared at me. "But then again, hybrids in general are not supposed to exist at all, much less long enough to reproduce. The three of us should be dead along with those that gave us this life, at least if the council had their way."

There was a bitterness hidden in my voice even now after all these years, and I couldn't help but wonder if it would ever fully go away. Doubtfully, especially since it only seemed to grow in strength and mingle with my anger with each passing day. My hands balled into fists of their own accord, gripping the fabric of my jeans until I felt the fabric threaten to tear. With great effort, I relaxed and smoothed the cloth back into place before facing them all once more.

"I suppose I should start from the beginning," I began, somewhat reluctant to share this part with anyone, but it was necessary. "You'll have questions and I'm sure you've already gathered a few already, but I'll tell you my story first. After all, after everything you all have been through and will be going through soon enough, you deserve to know."

"Razi…" Michael breathed in surprise, leaning forward and his hand twitching as if he meant to reach for me. 

I ignored the sting in my chest at hearing the nickname fall from my brother's mouth again, a sound I hadn't heard in what felt like forever. Telling these truths would be hard enough, but I couldn't deal if I had to feel Michael's pain or pity too. I had to distance, detach myself before I went any further. I had to.

"Relax, little brother," I assured with a half smile, "everyone likes a good bedtime story."

Hardening my resolve, I took a moment to glance at Rose who sat very still beside me. Her soft, pouty lips curved into a soft smile as warmth filled her honey colored eyes. Latching on to the silent strength she offered, I began to speak.

"My father was born a Folmorian fae," I said, my words feeling like gravel in my throat, " and he was a soldier for the crown for centuries. He wasn't a high ranking official or anyone important, just a loyal soldier that followed orders and was willing to lay down his life for his king."

I paused to refill my glass and refrain from turning the house into a pile of splinters.

"What was his name?" August asked, sounding almost as reluctant as I felt about answering.

Sipping the amber liquid, I forced the name passed my lips. "Balthier Christani."

I met the other man's eyes and was painfully aware of the second that the name registered in his mind. Much to my surprise, he didn't say anything but only nodded for me to continue. 

"There was a territory war with the vampires, a common enough issue in those days, and my father was taken prisoner," I explained, choosing my words carefully. "It was a rogue group, one prepared to use him as a bartering tool to stop the slaughter. When they realized he was of no true importance to the kingdom… well, they killed him.

"But someone had the brilliant idea to try to turn him, a notion they weren't even sure would work." I narrowed my eyes at the whiskey in my hand. "Much to their surprise, it worked and thus created the very first vampire hybrid. Needless to say, it was a shock to everyone when word spread across the land.

"Lavarius Cordeaux was new to the Braelyn throne, still young in years at maybe a century old if that," I continued, allowing myself to mentally float away from the story that haunted my mind on a loop, "and when he learned of my father's abominable existence, he was furious. At the time, Balthier had returned home to Folmoria, begging the king for help but his home was no longer a sanctuary."

"What do you mean?" Nova asked, leaning forward as if this was the most interesting story he had ever heard. "He couldn't go home?"

I shook my head. "The Braelyn demanded that my father be destroyed or they would declare war against Folmoria. At the time, the people were already suffering and further devastation would have been irreparable. So, King Dreymier and the Vampire Council made a deal."

"Well, that sounds fucked already," Hatter commented, earning a nudge in the ribs from his mate.

"It was," I agreed. "The Council agreed to keep my father, locked away and hidden from the world, and outlawed the creation of hybrids. No one wanted a creature that was stronger than the superior races running amok."

"Oh no, they didn't…" Nevada began, her small hand covering her mouth as tears shimmered in her emerald eyes. 

I felt my face set and my mouth thin into a grim line as I silently acknowledged the horror in her voice. It was an emotion I remember feeling all too well when I had first learned the truth.

"He was locked in a cell with silver plated bars, the material keeping his strength weakened and manageable, making him easier to control. Balthier fought for freedom at first, decades of trying to escape but like anyone else, he eventually gave up. He did as he was told, behaved as he was told, and never left the proximity of silver… for several centuries.

"My father became their executioner, more like a rabid pitbull on a leash but they believed he was under control. And to a point I suppose he probably was, at least until he met her."

I felt a gentle weight rest on my arm, the warmth of her hand seeping through my shirt and washing over my skin like an electric blanket. Grateful for Rose's support, I placed my hand on hers with a subtle squeeze.

"My mother was Pandora Dupree, also a Folmorian Fae. She was captured and thrown into the council's prison, charged with selling false information and merchandise to one of the council men." I closed my eyes and recalled the single picture I had seen of her many years ago. "Pandora was my father's soulmate."

Tears slipped down Nevada's cheeks, sniffling gently as everyone sat riveted to every word I spoke. My skin itched under so many eyes, their attentions so focused on me that for once in my life I wished the ground would swallow me whole. I was uncomfortable, unaccustomed to receiving such sympathy especially from complete strangers. But I could see it in their faces, reflected in the depths of each pair of eyes as they patiently waited for the rest of my story. 

"What happened to them?" Nevada asked, her soft voice thick with barely suppressed emotions.

I fought the urge to grimace, remembering the details I had learned over the years as I opened my mouth to respond.

"They were right next to each other, their cells joined but separated by the bars in between." I emptied my glass once more and clutched it like a safety net. "It didn't take long for the vampire council to realize they were mates and were fascinated by the idea. For two hundred years, they put my parents through tests, trials, experiments, whatever you want to call it, but never let them truly be together."

"Sounds like the worst kind of torture," Hatter commented, pulling young Nova against his side in an almost unconcious protectiveness. "What did they hope to gain?"

"Find their limits, I guess, or maybe it was just a game." The admission of my ignorance on the matter left a bitter taste in my mouth but I shrugged. "It doesn't matter, the council had their fun and finally allowed them to be together. But it wasn't out of any kindness or generosity on the council's part."

"Meaning?" Nova asked but his face had paled slightly and I had a feeling he already knew the answer. 

Taking another deep breath, I held his gaze but couldn't bring myself to get the words out. After a moment, I turned away and stood to pace away from the inquisitive stares. Rose reached for me but stopped before brushing my hand and simply watched as I walked away. I couldn't face these people. None of them should have to know any of this but what else was I to do?

The story of my parents was a brutal one, and for the sanity of these individuals I had withheld many of the horrors. But they were there in my head, the unspoken words constantly dancing in the dark recesses of my mind. It was a broken love story with more blood and pain than moments of love or joy with an ending that would shrivel the souls of even the strongest of men. 

"I'm the only hybrid by birth so when the council learned of my conception… well they were… overjoyed." I felt the scowl form on my face as I stared out of the window and into the night, barely registering the stillness outside the walls. "A vampire and a fae having a child? Simply unheard of because it should have been impossible. But the power of soulmates is another thing entirely, something the four of you have recently learned it seems?"

I turned around to face the room, noting the sadness that flickered across Michael's face as the other four shared a look of acknowledgement. Hatter also looked a bit smug as he looked down at Nova who rolled his eyes even as a light blush bit the tips of his ears. What an odd group these people were… so open with their feelings… Shaking my head, I faced the window again. 

"Anyway… the night I was born…" My throat threatened to close as the words clawed their way across my tongue. "The council gave my mother one hour with me while my father watched from the cell next door. And then they took me away."

"What? They took you from your mother just like that?" Nevada, bless her innocent heart, sounded completely appalled. 

"They did," I confirmed in a gruff voice, still keeping my back turned to the room. "They took me from my mother… she fought them, hysterical and violent, blinded by fear and rage but in her weakened state… it wasn't enough. She died that night, right there in front of my father who was trapped in a silver cage, helpless to defend his mate."

"Oh my gods," Nova whispered, shuddering while shaking his head. "That's… horrible doesn't even describe that."

"Balthier's mind fractured that night, the half of his soul that Pandora held died right along with her." I closed my eyes again, shutting down the sting of emotions gathering in my chest. "But instead of meeting his end at the loss of his mate, especially in such a horrific way, the desire for vengeance seeped into the cracks in his psyche and birthed a darkness that has kept him alive."

Rose stepped up beside me, the scent of jasmine and vanilla wafting towards me as her hand slid into mine. I looked down at her and offered a small smile, hoping to soothe the worry I saw staring back at me. Hatter frowned at the action but, after a pointed look from Nova, he managed to remain silent. 

I didn't want the boy to hate me or mistrust me but I honestly didn't give a damn what his opinion of me was. However, that didn't negate the fact that I needed him, and the others, to believe me if my plan was going to work. My eyes traveled to Michael who watched me, the sadness still there but the tilt of his head was proof enough to me that the gears inside his brilliant mind were turning. If these people, his friends, couldn't trust me… would he honor my request? Did he even trust me?

"So let me get this straight," August spoke up, pulling me from my internal doubts, "your father was a Folmorian and was turned into a vampire. King Dreymier hid him with the vampire council when King Lavarius requested his head on a platter or they'd go to war, and the vampires promised him sanctuary but ended up torturing him instead. Which led to your birth, followed by your mother's death which turned your father, Balthier Christani, into a psychopath. Did I miss anything?"

I frowned at the cliff notes version he had just recited. "Yeah, that seems about right."

"Wait… I thought you said you didn't know how it was possible for you to exist but then you mentioned the soulmate thing." Hatter narrowed his eyes. "Already telling lies?"

"No," I answered without hesitation. "I wasn't lying. I don't know for a fact that that's how it was possible and for centuries now I've only theorized. But after recently learning of how the mate bond has affected the two of you, I'm nearly certain that is the reason."

"Fairly certain?" Hatter asked skeptically. 

I gave him a flat look. "Without speaking directly with the gods, I can only be fairly certain. I have never heard of a fae having a child with a vampire ever in history and I figure that has something to do with the fact that vampires tend to drain fae if given the opportunity. Who knows, maybe it was always possible and at this point I don't particularly care why I'm alive just that I continue to do so."

Hatter scowled and opened his mouth but Rose cut him off.

"Some answers and truths will never be known, Robbie." Her voice was sweet but firm as she stared him down. "We need to focus on the truth in front of us now."

"And what truth is that?" August asked, not bothering to mask his growing impatience. 

I met the man's eyes. "The one that says, I am not your enemy."

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A/N: So, we finally have some answers! What do you think?

Torch's POV finally came! Thoughts?

Let me know!

I'm hoping the next chapter will be up soon but I never know what's going on these days. My kids start school from home next week and my remodel is almost finished, so I'm busy busy busy.

Thanks for reading!

XOXO🖤❤🖤❤

~SM~