"Who we are in the present
includes who we were
in the past."

~~Fred Roger's

****************

~Nevada~

"Her sister?!" I nearly shrieked. "How? That Valyndria chick seems… vile. And Ashira is - was, the complete opposite."

With Ashira's mocha colored skin, dark hair and kind smile, she was a true example of contrast when compared to Valyndria. She struck me now as a feral cat hidden beneath a beautiful disguise constructed to blind and mislead in order to hide her claws. But looks could be deceiving.

Alana shook her head in disgust, lips pulled into a thin line. "Valyndria was orphaned, her home burned to the ground with her family in it. From what I understand she barely made it out alive herself. Ashira's family welcomed her into their home as if she was one of theirs."

"What happened to her? I mean, she obviously didn't remain at the castle." Dominic slid his hands down to Alana's shoulders, gently kneading them as he spoke.

"She got wrapped up in a plot against my father," she answered bitterly. "Her along with a handful of others from the village were charged with treason and sentenced to death. On the night before her sentence was to be carried out, Valyndria vanished from her cell. The guards had been murdered and the key left hanging in the lock.

"My father had his men scour the land for her but there were no clues, not a single trace of her to be found." Alana closed her eyes. "There were no rumors, not even a single scrap of cloth, that could have led to her capture. Ashira and her family were subjected to weeks of questioning, guards posted outside their home to watch them as they went about their business, but they knew nothing. After several years, my father finally gave up."

"Wow…," I mumbled, my brain slowly processing everything. "But why would she want your father dead to begin with?"

It was still hard to fathom that her father, my grandfather, was a king and that my mother, and apparently myself as well, was a freaking princess. Looking at her now, in loose yoga pants and a faded graphic tee with her hair in a sloppy bun, Alana Drakos looked nothing like any princess I had ever envisioned. She just seemed like everyone else. 

Yeah, looks are definitely deceiving., I thought to myself. 

Alana shrugged. "Why has anyone ever wanted kings dead? Money… power… jealousy… opportunity…"

"We need to gather more Intel on what's going on out there," August spoke up. "Things are obviously amiss and getting more and more dangerous everyday."

"I agree. We need to make sure all of the eyes and ears at our disposal are on alert," Dominic said, thumbing his goatee in thought. Suddenly his eyes were on me and I felt like I had just been called to the principal's office. "You need to train and work on controlling your dream walking better. It could help if you know how to use it properly. When are the boys supposed to be back?"

When Dominic shifted his gaze back to August, the rest of his words slipped away from me. 

"My what?" I interrupted August as he started to answer. 

"You're a dream walker, sweetie," Alana answered matter-of-factly, my wide eyed, confused gaze snapping to her face. "It's like astral projection but stronger. Astral projection is like a controlled out of body experience, a projection of your conscious mind and that is visible but non corporeal. 

"Dream walking occurs when the body slips into a complete state of unconsciousness and allows the conscious mind to travel elsewhere. Upon the arrival at the intended destination, unlike with astral projection, you take on a corporeal form and anything that happens to you while dream walking will be reflected on your actual body."

I stared at her in complete and utter shock. My thoughts had disappeared entirely and I knew my jaw was sitting in my lap but I couldn't bring myself to close it. It felt as if my heart was in my stomach and a vice had gripped my chest. 

"So…," I croaked, "so, those times… they were… real?"

"Yes," August answered, his voice sounding odd and pulling my attention to him. He shifted uncomfortably without looking at me and I thought back to the times I had vividly dreamed of him.

I felt the color drain from my face before it flooded back with the overwhelming embarrassment I suddenly endured. There was also the cluelessness I had been blessed with that chose that topic for me to completely misunderstand. 

"Oh gods, you fucking asshole!" I shrieked, smacking August several times on the chest. 

He had the decency to flinch with each hit even though I knew the sting in my hand was much worse than what he was registering. August let me land a few hits before snagging my wrist and rubbing his thumbs across my tomato colored palm to sooth the heated flesh. I melted into his touch but then caught myself and snatched back my hand.

"We're talking about this later," I growled while crossing my arms.

"I don't even want to know," Dominic threw in, looking towards the ceiling as if speaking to the gods.

"Whatever you want, Princess," August whispered, kissing the top of my head and pulling me back into his side.

"Okay, so what's the plan? When did you say the boys would be back?" Dominic changed the subject as he repeated his earlier question. "Someone distracted me."

I rolled my eyes as August answered. "A couple of days. Three at most unless something changes in the meantime. While he's gone, I've instructed Hatter already to check on a few things but I'll reiterate now that we have new suspicions."

"Good, nice to know you're thinking ahead, old man," Dominic smirked. "What were they doing besides that?"

"Oh, honey, I swear you're completely dense sometimes," Alana chuckled. "I'll fill you in another time."

"I'm always missing something," he muttered, something I realized we had in common, but he shrugged it off and looked back at me. "You need to start training and Nova will join you when they get back. Have you ever practiced meditation?"

"Uh, no? I took a yoga class once," I replied sheepishly.

Dominic gave me a blank look. "That's not the same."

"I know," I groaned. "But I was raised by humans because someone," I gave August a pointed look, "decided I would be safest away from such things. Talk about a bad judgment call."

August scowled and I offered him a cheeky grin in return. 

"Nova taught me quite a bit over the years," I informed Dominic, becoming serious again. "If it hadn't been for him, I wouldn't have been able to control my magick at all."

"I'm glad you found each other." Dominic's smile was genuine if not a bit sad. "The gods work in odd ways sometimes but they pay attention and know what needs to happen even when we don't."

"I can't help but wonder if sometimes they expect too much though," Alana admitted, looking unhappy. "There are some things I feel like no one should have to go through, no matter who they are or what they've done."

My mind immediately went to Hatter and how tortured he seemed to be lately. When I had first met him, Hatter had been full of laughs, easy going and teasing. But things had been different since I had woken up at Ashira's. I remembered the horrible things that Michael had said about him and my heart ached. Not to mention the grief that steadily trickled from Alana even when she smiled.

"Yeah," I agreed quietly, leaning my head against August's chest.

●●●●

Falling asleep in August's bed, wrapped in his arm was one of the best feelings I had ever experienced. But waking up to an empty bed, with the reminder of the world resting on my shoulders as Alana knocked on my door, was something I hoped to avoid a repeat of.

I knew he had to make sure the grounds were safe, and that no one had found a way to slip inside, which was important. But being away from him left me feeling irritated and on edge.

"You need to relax, Nevada," Alana coaxed soothingly while sitting cross legged in front of me.

I huffed out a breath and popped my eyes open. We were currently sitting outside in the back garden and Alana was attempting to help me learn how to meditate. It was failing terribly because I couldn't focus. The grass was itchy against my bare legs and poked my thighs through my cotton shorts. I could feel sweat beading slowly on my skin even though we sat in the shade. The summer sun beat down on the earth and dragged humidity along with it. 

A few locks of hair that had slipped free of my sloppy bun, stuck to my skin and I was convinced the birds had decided to learn to scream. They were extra loud, or at least they seemed to be everytime I tried to follow her advice and block everything out. 

"This is impossible," I complained, picking at a blade of grass. "How am I supposed to concentrate when the birds are yodeling right above my head?"

"You're thinking too hard," Alana laughed. "Try not thinking at all."

I gave her a flat look. "Seriously? You think I can not think?"

Alana handed me a bottle of water which I accepted gratefully. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

"I know," I replied honestly with a sigh. "Things have just been really crazy lately and it seems nonstop. If it's not one thing, it's something else."

"That's the story of my life, sweetie." Alana's voice was sad and distant as she watched birds splash in the fountain. "I wish I could tell you it will get easier, and I hope someday that it will. But nothing is certain in times like this."

I mulled her words over in my head for a moment. "Have you been through times like this more than once?"

"No, I was always forced to stay in the castle when the soldiers went to battle," Alana chuckled dryly. "My father wanted me to know how to defend myself, with magick or weapons, but never wanted me anywhere near the rest of it. But your father on the other hand… he's seen a lot of darkness."

"He made it through okay though, right?" I asked, my heart thumping a little harder. "I mean, he seems okay."

A wistful smile played on her face when she looked at me. 

"Dominic is quite powerful and he's strong," she said, taking my hand. "He's had to do a lot of things he isn't proud of, things he won't ever tell you, him and August both. He's ruthless and can be cold when times call for it because he was born for this, but he's strong enough not to let it consume him. Dominic is a lot of things, and while he may tell you otherwise, he's not a monster and never will be."

"I never thought he was a monster," I found myself saying. "I can't imagine doing what he's done over and over again. There's no way I could do it."

"You can and you will if you have to," she told me, making me shudder. "The men we love, they're dangerous and don't ever doubt that. But we aren't just helpless princesses, daughter. No, we are badass fae women that can and will stand shoulder to shoulder with our men and those around us, and we won't falter."

"You sound so sure about that," I countered begrudgingly. "I can't even think about not thinking properly."

Alana laughed, the heavy mood lifting. "It takes practice, which is what we should be doing."

Sighing, I placed my hands on my knees and closed my eyes, trying to ignore the world around us.

"Can fae astral project?" I blurted out. "I've never heard of it."

"Not without the help of a witch or warlock, no." Alana answered thoughtfully. "Although,  I'm not sure why. However, fae are the only known species to ever have dream walking abilities but it's extremely rare so I guess it's possible if someone were born with such a gift."

I drew in a long, slow breath through my nose and released it just as slowly through my mouth. Repeating the process a few more times, I tried to calm my erratic thoughts. Between the birds screeching manically and the bead of sweat trailing down my spine beneath my tank top, I knew I was all over the place. 

Taking another deep breath, I forced my muscles to relax, starting with my toes and inching my way up to the top of my head. Feeling a bit closer to my goal, I kept going. I pictured myself in my mind's eye, sitting cross legged in the grass but with the sun on my skin, the heat slowly softening the edges of my body like a flame to a candle. I imagined myself with a serene expression, pliable like warm clay. Calm and tranquility seeped into my pores, washing away insecurities and fears, and for the first time in a while, I felt completely relaxed. 

"You're doing so good, Nev," Alana praised, her voice soft and seeming to dance on the breeze. 

I felt a smile on my face at her praise. "This isn't so bad."

"Open your eyes."

I did as I was asked, and was surprised that everything seem clearer, sharper than it had before. Alana offered me an encouraging smile. 

"If you can find time to do this once a day and every night before you go to sleep, it will help," she informed me. "As it gets easier, you can focus on personal aspects of yourself or problems you may have, and it will help you work through them. Also, as you gain more focus on yourself, you'll be begin to be able to control your dream walking. Direct it purposefully or keep it from happening."

"How do you know all of this?" I asked, amazed.

Alana shrugged. "I used to read all the time. Being stuck in a castle gets boring and I had to have something to do with myself. Besides, the more you know yourself and accept who you are, the easier it is to get in touch with you magick and wield it."

Huh, I never thought of it like that., I mused silently.

Nova had always seemed stronger than me but he had also been a lot more outgoing and blunt about who he was. Unlike me, he wasn't shy or afraid of saying what was on his mind or how he felt about something or doing what he wanted. I had never been interested in pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone and for the most part of my life I had been okay with that.

But recently I had begun to question if I really even knew who I was at all. Until now, I had never heard of a dream walker much less known I was one. Was it possible there were other things I could do, more things about myself that I didn't know? Maybe it was high time to let loose and find out.

********************

A/N: Struggled with this one a little. I tried to make everything as easy to understand as possible. How did I do?

Anyone confused about anything? Questions, thoughts, opinions, etc, always welcome!

Thanks for reading!❣

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XOXO🖤❤

~SM~