Waking up the next morning felt divine, my head felt a lot lighter, probably because the air here was so much cleaner and natural to our species. But as soon as I actually realized where I was and why I was here, the atmosphere weighed ten times as much. With a heavy hard I lelt the warm comforts of my bed and made my way to the bathroom, careful not to wake Alexander up in the progress.

A nanny from the pack house was going to come mind him today while we were at the funeral, I didn't want to explain to him that life isn't eternal yet, at least I didn't want to expose him to evidence of that this early in life.

My mom was already in there, still not her usual bubbly self but considerably brighter than yesterday. I pecked her cheek and grabbed my toothbrush from the beauty case. I started brushing my teeth while inspecting my mother. At least this kind of heartache had been spared to me. To never be able to love another man again, simply because the bond was so strong it lasted even after death, sounds like a death sentence to me. After brushing I tried to find the dress I had packed for the funeral as quickly and quietly as I could.

It's hard to see in the barely lit room so I gave up after a few attempts and found my mom. Some things she'd be better at no matter how I old I'd become. I blamed it on the extra skills and werewolf sight, but it could also be some kind of witchcrafts only seasoned moms had or something.

"Mom, can you help me find the dress I want to wear? I don't want to turn on the lights and wake Alexander up yet. You know which one I mean right?"

She chuckled softly and nodded, putting the brush down with which she had been brushing her hair. Embarrassed that I still had to ask my Mom where I put certain things, I followed her back into the room where she's already pulling out the garment I asked for.

"I swear it wasn't there before!" I whisper-exclaimed, putting my hands up in the air.

She playfully shook her head at me and lightly threw it through the air for me to catch it. I somehow managed to and turned to get dressed quickly.

***

Half an hour later, all there's left to do is wait for the nanny. Alexander was playing in a corner, oblivious to our moods, while we were anxiously waiting on the sofa, fidgeting with our fingers, the seconds ticking away and the heaviness of the situation sinking in more and more. I was about to bury the closest person to a Dad I had left. My Mom's having to relive what she went through all those years ago, although I knew the memories were as fresh as if they happened yesterday.

Finally a knock at the door sounded, the nanny had arrived and there's no way around the funeral now. Not that I would want to miss it, although it would be much harder than burying my own father. Those memories were cloudy, this funeral would stay rooted in my thoughts forever. We both stood up at the same time and I linked my hand with mom's, not knowing who of us needed the support more at this point.

I kept revisiting my last moments with him and although I would hold the conversation close to my heart, I couldn't help but regret that being the last time I spoke to uncle Keith. I obviously dropped the ball back then, but I was so young and I truly believed I'd have a chance to make things right.

With every footstep, my heart grew heavier and I struggled to walk over to the door to let the nanny in. She's a young girl, with a bright smile and a certain softness about her. She smiled at me but immediately her eyes wandered over to Alexander and her smile widened to a grin. For some reason, I was immediately at ease with her. Odd. I quickly informed her of the things he needed and how he wasn't really familiar with wolves and such, but she reassured me immediately that they would simply stay inside as most of the pack will be at the funeral so it's safer. She's really mature and thrustworthy, I'd give her that. I nodded and grabbed a cardigan of a chair so we could leave, but I couldn't help but threaten her a little so she knew how much the little one means to me. She obviously knew there's nothing I could do to ever hurt her, she had her wolf and I had none, but she nodded once more, reassuring me she would protect the pup as if he were her own.

Finally I feel reassured enough to leave.

***

We made it to the funeral with enough time to spare so we could say hello to my Dad. Once I'm sure my Mom's alright on her own, I made my way over to where uncle Keith would be buried.

Luke and Will turned as I was approaching them. They obviously smelled me coming. I reached out to both at once and they wrapped their arms around me as well.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered softly.

We stayed rooted like that until growling made me let go of them. Both Luke and Will were lowering their heads so I turned to see where the growling came from to know why they're behaving like that. I frowned when I see a tall guy walking closer to us, still growling and staring at me in the process. Instinctively I took a few steps back until I hit Luke or Will. I tried to get behind them to seek protection, as I had no way to protect myself against a full-grown werewolf like him, until I noticed how the guy looked hurt.

Neither Luke or Will moved though, so I couldn't get behind them. Were they under some sort of Alpha command or something? Does that mean?  Realization hit me that this was the alpha of the pack. That's probably why he's so mad at me, I was not showing the Alpha respect. I finally lowered my head as well, but his growling increased instead of decreasing. Worried I looked around for help.

"Don't." he managed to growl out.

I looked up, thoroughly confused with the situation.

"Mine." he continued, while reaching for my hand.

I yanked it back, so he couldn't touch me.

"No!" I exclaimed.

Gasps from all around me were heard. Great, now I had everyone's attention. I looked back at the man, who's looking even more hurt now, but I couldn't feel anything when I looked at him, so therefore he couldn't be my mate. There's nothing that clicked in place, no goosebumps from where his gaze was on my skin, nothing like those storybook moments you're supposed to experience.

Besides, I had no wolf, there's no way the Moon Goddess would pair up an Alpha with me.

"I'm so sorry, Alpha, but you must be mistaken, I don't feel anything, so I can't be your mate." I tried to be as gentle as I could with him, he's probably confused or getting hopeless or desperate and wanted every girl he hadn't met before, to be his mate, so he didn't have to believe his mate was dead.

He growled once more. He's clearly frustrated with me.

"Call me Caleb, you're my mate after all, there's no need for titles."

Was this guy thick or something?

"With all respect, Alpha, but I'm not."

He looked close to losing all self-control so I tried to cower behind Luke and Will again.

"Will you please stop that? My wolf is on edge enough already and you trying to get away from me isn't helping." he interrupted my squirming, sounding very close to a breakdown.

"Please don't hurt me." I begged.

Now he looked like a kicked puppy. Damn, he's making this hard. He tried to scan my face for lies.

"Why would I hurt you, you're my mate?" he asked, getting confused.

"No I'm not, I just can't be, I - I don't have a wolf, how can an Alpha end up with a runt like me?"

He stilled for a few seconds. See, no one would accept me.

"So, if you're really that certain I'm your mate, just reject me, nothing will happen anyway, but there's no way you can accept someone like me, right?"

In a flash he's flushed against me, and if he hadn't been holding me I would have for sure run away.

"I won't." he growled out. "You're mine, you're mine, mine and only mine."

He reached out his hand to touch my face and I couldn't help but flinch. Immediately he looked hurt again. Still, he let his fingers trace over my face.

"So, you're telling me you can't feel the tingles?" he tried a different approach this time.

I couldn't help but feel hopeful that maybe he was right after all, so I focused on his touch, but there's nothing. Sure, I felt his warm fingertips caressing my cheek, but there weren't any tingles.

I shook my head, not trusting my voice anymore. I wished he would just let me go, I was going to turn into a weeping mess if he continued this cruel joke. I had no mate and I would just have to learn how to live with it.

"Please let me go." I said, my voice quivering and my lip trembling a little.

He loosened his grip and took a step back, not knowing how to deal with the situation.

"But, you're my mate." he said, once more, but at this point, I'm not sure who he's trying to convince, me, or him.

_____________________________________________________________________

11/01/2018: Edited because the tense was wrong 

They met! Yay ! I'm excited to begin writing the interesting part of the story! Hopefully you'll like it!