Note:

*peeks dramatically from behind a bookshelf*

"HEY..."

~ RaVen

...

Two days had passed since the full moon's grip had loosened its hold on my body. Physically, I was beginning to recover, but the mental scars remained, as permanent as the curse itself. And the torment of the transformation would never truly fade; there was no known remedy for the affliction of a werewolf.
In one of the library’s most secluded corners, I found myself searching for books on Herbology. Yesterday, I had encountered Professor Sprout, who had been teaching the subject at Hogwarts since the beginning of the year, was very friendly, and always smiled. There was something comforting about her presence.
I liked her and her subject. I did not know why, but plants and animals interested me. It was one of the commonalities I had with my mother, as living in the forest meant that one had to deal with its plants and animals.
Life itself, in all its intricate forms, held a deep allure. The way nature thrived and evolved was nothing short of captivating. Herbology and the Care of Magical Creatures were subjects that allowed me to delve deeper into this fascination.

If I get this book...

I stood before a towering bookshelf, eyeing a particular volume that had caught my attention. Light from a large window bathed the area, though outside, the day was anything but bright. The sky remained hidden behind a thick, grey veil that had been hanging over Hogwarts for days. The windowpanes, fogged at the edges, framed a winter landscape, the morning’s snowfall now merely a memory as the wind howled relentlessly, battering the castle walls. I was glad to be in the warm library. It smelled of old books, wood, and parchment.
It was also pleasantly quiet.
The book I sought was just out of reach. I had observed others in the library using their wands or some sort of library magic to retrieve books, but I lacked the confidence - or perhaps the skill - to do the same. Despite my lessons with Dumbledore and another professor, my attempts at magic felt clumsy, even foreign. The wooden stick in my hand - my wand - was supposed to be an extension of my will, yet it seemed more a dead object, its potential locked away from me.
It was strange for me to know that I could do things with my weird wooden stick that were, well, strange. It was easier for my mind to comprehend that there were plants, herbs, and much more with which one could do useful things.
Determined, I stood on tiptoe, stretching as far as I could. Even a small hop yielded no success; I barely brushed the book’s spine. Just as I was contemplating the need for a chair, a hand reached out beside me, effortlessly retrieving the book.
Startled, I turned to find Remus Lupin standing next to me. He was taller than I by more than a head and handed me the book with a small, tired smile on his lips. His green eyes, though weary, held a kindness that was difficult to ignore.
»Thank you,« I murmured, my fingers closing around the book.
»You're welcome,« he replied softly, mindful of our surroundings. »I was looking to study Herbology as well and saw you needed help.«
Remus Lupin selected two books of his own and then stood beside me, his gaze lingering as if contemplating whether to speak further. Finally, he glanced around, ensuring we were alone, and lowered his voice even more. »You weren’t in the Hospital Wing after the full moon. We waited for you.«
»I didn’t want to go.«
»Why not? Madame Pomfrey has good potions that can help.«
»I needed a shower and some sleep,« I responded, avoiding his gaze. »I’ve managed without the potions before and survived.«
»But now you’re here. You don’t have to just survive anymore. It’s remarkable, though - surviving alone in the forest. How long were you out there?« Remus' question hung in the air, his eyes searching mine for an answer. My muscles tensed.
I knew that a normal person would probably have died in the forest.

»You're not normal, Phil.«
I know, was my response.

Remus' words seemed to merge with the howling wind outside, adding weight to the silence between us. I raised my voice, though his statement lingered in the air, and muttered, »It's all so complicated...«, my gaze drifting downwards as I studied my feet, »I'm trying to grasp the fact that I'm here, but it's not easy. My understanding of the world is limited.«
»And yet, you're here now,« Remus countered, his tone gentle yet firm.
»You know that one night cost me everything. I thought survival was the only thing that defined my life.«
»And?«
»And what?«
»Has your perspective changed?«
I shrugged, biting down on my cracked lower lip, my fingers tightening around the book I held. My eyes wandered along the bookshelf, avoiding his gaze.
»Possibly,« I finally admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. A student passed by the end of the shelf, and I continued, »A wise man once told me that I am not just an animal, that I have rights, and that we, as people, don't have to live in the shadows of others. I've chosen to trust this person, to give him a chance. Without that, I don't think I'd be standing here.«
It was the truth. If I had not given this life a chance, I would not have gone back to Hogwarts last full moon. Yes, I did not feel like I belonged and the changes scared me, but living in the forest did not bring anything good either.
»This person is Dumbledore, isn't it?« Remus guessed, correctly. I nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips, which he cautiously mirrored.
»Dumbledore is also the reason I'm here,« Remus explained. »At first, I didn't believe that someone like me, a 'monster,' could ever attend Hogwarts, but here I am. I have friends, and every day, I wonder how I deserve their kindness, all they do for me. What I'm trying to say is that you, too, will find your place at Hogwarts. I don't know your story, but I do know what it feels like to carry this burden. You can always talk to me, Phil. I may not be able to solve everything, but I can listen, and I can understand your pain. If you'd like, we can study together. I'm alone in the library most of the time anyway.«
His offer left me momentarily speechless, the kindness in his words confusing. I could not fathom why so many people were being so considerate towards me.

»Why wouldn’t they be?« questioned the voice inside my head. »Is your entire identity defined by your existence as a werewolf, Phil? You're much more than that.«

Breaking the silence, I spoke up, »Your words are kind,« I said, meeting Remus' eyes, »and you're generally more normal than your friends, so yes, I'll study with you. But why are you alone?«
At the mention of the other Marauders, Remus's expression turned apologetic. »About the other day... Sirius was being a jerk. I owe you an apology on his behalf, and for James as well. They were too pushy,« he explained as he moved towards his study spot.
I followed, mulling over his words. The girls were not entirely wrong about the Marauders, but Remus seemed different. Still, I suspected there was more to him than met the eye - after all, he was part of the group for a reason.
Even so, I could not deny that I found Remus to be... alright.
He led me to a table cluttered with books and scattered parchment. With a gesture, he invited me to choose a seat. I opted for the one opposite him, placing my book on medicinal plants and my new bag on the table. Remus responded to my earlier question as we settled in, »I’m often alone in the library. My friends aren’t as keen on studying, but to each their own.«
I unpacked my writing materials - parchment, quill, and ink - before opening my book. Remus patiently explained anything I did not understand. The afternoon slipped away in the dimly lit library, but by the end, I still did not know how to feel about the entire encounter.

Lily's POV:

»Gosh, leave me alone!« Alice's voice cracked as she snapped at Dorcas, who only chuckled in response.
»What, are you upset because I mentioned that Longbottom lad?« Dorcas teased, her tone playful yet relentless. »The Hufflepuff who joins us in Potions every Wednesday? The one dear Alice fancies?«
»You started it!« Alice shot back, her frustration evident. »You wanted to play that ridiculous game where we all confess our crushes during History of Magic!«
»Well, History is dull,« Dorcas replied with a shrug, as if that explained everything. »And who could've guessed you'd find a Hufflepuff charming? Especially one you recently partnered with for a project.«
»You're so stupid!« Alice's retort was sharp, but Dorcas remained unfazed.
»Why? Because I’m stating the truth?«
»I only said I think he’s cute, not that I’m in love with him!«
»A bit of an overreaction for just finding someone cute, don't you think? OUCH!« Dorcas winced as Alice’s hand connected with her arm.
»Stop it! Why are you two always at each other's throats?« Mare’s voice cut through the escalating quarrel, and I could not help but roll my eyes at the scene unfolding before me. We were supposed to be on our way to the library to collect Phil for dinner, yet here we were, sidetracked by another one of their petty arguments.
»Must you two escalate everything?« I asked, halting in the corridor and crossing my arms. My right eyebrow arched in mild exasperation. »So, Alice finds Longbottom cute. Can we leave it at that?«
Both girls mumbled their agreement, and I turned, leading the way once more towards the library. Yet a small, amused smile tugged at my lips. It was always like this - the endless bickering and teasing. Ever since the fourth year, there had been a noticeable shift. The first stirrings of interest in the opposite sex had taken hold of my friends, with Alice leading the charge. However, even Mare and Dorcas had been talking about boys more lately.
As for myself, I remained detached. There was no need to discuss boys driven by the whims of their hormones. In my eyes, one could be friends with the opposite sex normally, just like I had a friendship with Sev and did not interpret anything into it like Dorcas did with Alice.

Well, the hormones of young adults are a thing for itself. Sometimes I feel sorry for the professors, having to live in this madhouse.

But beyond that, I did not dwell on such matters. I was not interested in contemplating who might catch my eye or who would not. For me, the future was already written. Yes, maybe it was cheesy, but I believed in true love, the kind worth saving a first kiss for. For me, there was fate, and with this thought, we reached the library.
The moment we stepped inside, the lively chatter among us faded into silence. Madame Stuart, the ancient librarian, cast a scrutinising gaze over us, her sharp eyes missing nothing. The woman was practically a relic of the school, and I was surprised she could still walk, for the woman was old and seemed to be a walking monument. Yet I never doubted her ability to enforce the library's quiet sanctity.
We navigated the aisles, our steps hushed against the stone floor. Phil often sat at a desk in the far corner, and that’s where we headed. But just as I passed a row of books, I felt a tug on my robe, pulling me back.
»What?« I hissed, only to find Dorcas with a finger pressed to her lips. She released my robe, signalling for the others to follow her quietly. My curiosity piqued, I obeyed, trailing behind as she led us to another row of shelves. From there, she peeked into the aisle between them.
There, seated in what was normally Phil's spot, was Phil herself
Phil was not sitting in her usual spot at a study desk in the back, but right in front of us and she was not alone. Remus Lupin sat across from her, engaged in what appeared to be a rather intense discussion.

Aha.

»What’s Lupin doing with Phil?« Mare whispered, peeking over Dorcas' shoulder.
»Looks like they're studying and chatting,« Alice observed, her voice barely above a murmur.
»Why, though?« Dorcas wondered aloud. »Why have those blasted Marauders been so annoying lately? Ever since Phil arrived, they’ve been lurking around more often.«
»They’re just idiots, but Remus isn’t so bad,« Alice offered, trying to be fair.
»Idiots or not, it’s strange how they’re suddenly interested in Phil. And let’s not forget, Remus is still part of that troublesome lot. I wouldn’t go handing him a halo just yet,« Mare countered, her gaze stern.
»Remus is decent enough,« I said, deciding to join the conversation. »But yes, I do find their interest in Phil odd. It doesn’t seem to be because of her family name. Black made it clear he doesn't care about that, and, unfortunately, I believe him. I don’t think they’re all interested in her - just Remus, though it’s a peculiar interest.«
»Innocent Remus?« Mare questioned, a sceptical brow raised. »Sure, he’s a Marauder and not innocent in their pranks, but you’ve said yourself, Lily, that he’s alright. You’ve studied with him before. Maybe the boys are just being idiots, and Remus is genuinely helping Phil with her assignments?«
»You’re probably right,« Dorcas agreed.
»Yes, we’re likely overthinking it,« I conceded. »Let’s just go and get Phil.«
With that, I stepped out from behind the shelf, the others close on my heels. We approached the long table where Phil and Remus sat at one end, deep in conversation. Remus seemed to be explaining something, his hands gesturing to emphasise his points. Perhaps Mare was right; perhaps Remus was simply being kind. I felt a twinge of guilt for having doubted him.
As we neared, Remus noticed us and paused mid-sentence. Phil’s attention followed his, and she looked up, her blue eyes meeting mine.
»Hey,« I greeted them, my tone light. »We came to pick you up for dinner.«
Phil nodded, quickly packing her things. As she reached for a book to put away, Remus intervened. »I’ll put it away for you,« he offered, his smile warm.
Phil returned the smile, albeit shyly. »Thank you… and for the help, too.«
Remus' smile widened, and with that, Phil joined us. Together, we left the library and headed towards the Great Hall. Even as we walked away, I could not shake the lingering sense of unease regarding Remus Lupin. His behaviour, though seemingly innocent, remained an enigma. Yet, for now, there was nothing to be done but to keep an eye on things and wait for the truth to reveal itself.