Note:

Full moon nights: when werewolves roam, friendships are tested, and Sirius probably wishes he had packed a snack.

...

Phil's POV:

The snow-covered, dark lands of Hogwarts lay still and serene, a deceptive peace that the impending full moon would soon shatter. The tranquillity was fleeting.
Time had slipped by, leaving me in a state of despondency. The moment of departure from the castle loomed, signalling a return to a life that no longer felt like mine. Dumbledore had reminded me that he could not compel me to remain at Hogwarts, yet the forest was hardly a sanctuary. Where did I belong, then?
The recent days had underscored my alienation. Some at Hogwarts made their disdain clear, mirroring the broader wizarding world's rejection for the name Aquila. Unwanted, unwelcomed, but the forest was no refuge either. My old pack roamed its depths, but they had turned their backs on me, and today, I would steer clear of them.

Even my second family has distanced themselves...

The mere thought of the forthcoming transformation churned my stomach. The pain was relentless, a monthly ordeal that knew no reprieve. The curse was my eternal shadow, and soon the full moon, that harbinger of dread, would dominate the night sky.
For now, I stood motionless by the window, staring out as reality snapped back into focus. The dormitory, warmed by the stove, offered scant comfort. Despite the inviting heat, the cold awaited me.
The girls prepared for bed, each engaged in her own activity - Mare showering, Dorcas and Alice working on an essay that Lily had completed two days prior. Lily herself, engrossed in a book, cast occasional glances in my direction.
»I won't forget the time...« I murmured, tearing my gaze from the window. As I approached my bed, where my coat lay, all eyes turned towards me. Lily's especially. »We know,« she said, her voice steady.
»It's just that we don't know how to deal with it,« Dorcas added, dipping her quill into the inkpot, »It's strange to think you're going out there now.«
»No one can get hurt,« I reassured, meeting Alice's brown eyes. She was the only one I had not spoken to directly.
»Dumbledore knows what he's doing, yes...« Alice muttered, her tone uncertain, as if seeking solace in her own words.
»Exactly,« Dorcas nodded, »We can't know how many werewolves have been at Hogwarts. Imagine how many will transform tonight. It's a wild thought.«
Lily's stern look silenced Dorcas momentarily. Dorcas, with her candid nature, often spoke without a filter. It was a quality I appreciated, as it laid bare where I stood.
»Alice is right, I've discussed everything with Dumbledore,« I affirmed, lacing up my shoes, »Everything is under control.«

I have control over myself, I thought.
The previous day, I had spoken with Dumbledore, though I had not disclosed the full truth - that I retained control during the full moon. Admitting such a thing, revealing I was not just a monster but a peculiar one, was a step I had not yet taken.

With a resigned breath, I donned my coat and ran a hand over my face, feeling the cold of my fingers. Fear gripped me. The prospect of stepping outside, of transforming into that beast again, was terrifying. But this was my curse, and I had no choice but to endure it. Tears threatened, but I had survived this far. One more night would not break me.
I left the dormitory without a word of farewell. The door closed behind me, and I descended to the common room. Few people lingered there, unusual for a Saturday, but I brushed it aside, uninterested in deciphering their behaviour.
I sank into a chair in a secluded corner, awaiting the boys' guidance on how to leave the castle unnoticed. Remus Lupin, sharing my curse, had mastered the monthly escape for years. When Dumbledore had mentioned the boys, a mysterious smile had played on his lips. Why, I had not known. Dumbledore also had not ordered me to chain myself up anywhere, which gave me an uneasy feeling.

How much does Dumbledore know?
Does he suspect that I'm not normal...?

I did not ponder it any longer.
As the night wore on, the common room gradually emptied as witches and wizards retired to their beds. No one paid me any heed. The crackling of the fire in the fireplace provided a comforting backdrop as I fixed my gaze on the staircase leading to the boys' dormitories. It grew late, yet I lingered, uncertain when the Marauders, as they called themselves, would venture outside. I had not asked them in the last few days, either. After all, I only needed to get outside, and if necessary, I would find the way myself.
Just as this thought crossed my mind, four figures descended the stairs, scanning the room. Sirius noticed me first, signalling for me to join them. Rising from my chair, I walked over.
The boy who mirrored my own condition appeared even worse off. His pallor and dark circles under his eyes reflected my inner turmoil.
I said nothing.
We exited the common room. Beside the portrait of the Fat Lady, an inconspicuous secret passage awaited. The Marauders, uncharacteristically solemn, refrained from conversation, attuned to the gravity of the situation. Remus, too, maintained a quiet presence.
At one point, James simply explained the password to a hidden passage, and after navigating several secret routes, we emerged into the crisp night air. Pulling my coat tighter, I watched my breath form white puffs in the darkness.
We walked further from the castle until an odd-looking, thick tree loomed ahead.
»The Whomping Willow,« Remus Lupin finally spoke, nodding towards the tree. I moved to continue, but he shook his head.
I halted beside him.
Moments later, the reason became clear. As Peter Pettigrew approached, the tree began thrashing wildly. Swiftly, he transformed into a rat, and my eyes widened. Though I had suspected that the other two boys had been the dog and the stag, witnessing this transformation confirmed my suspicions.
The Marauders, unaware that I remembered the last full moon, found my shock appropriate.
»This way, Peter can touch the knot, so the tree doesn’t flail about,« Remus explained, weariness evident in his voice. »When I came to Hogwarts, Dumbledore planted this tree. It guards a secret passage that leads to the Shrieking Shack. It’s located near Hogsmeade, a village, but one can quickly get into the Forbidden Forest.«
»I think Phil is more surprised why Peter is a rat,« Sirius interjected. When I nodded, Remus blushed with embarrassment.
»Of course, this confusion is indeed understandable...« he mumbled.
The Whomping Willow ceased its movement. Peter resumed his human form, and we approached. He disappeared into a hole as James clarified, »We are Animagi. We can transform into animals.«
»One secret for another, essentially,« Sirius remarked, scrutinising me.
I nodded in agreement. I would keep their secrets - their Animagi forms, and Remus’s lycanthropy. In turn, they would not betray me, even though many at Hogwarts already suspected I was a werewolf. But without proof, as children of werewolves did not necessarily inherit the curse, their suspicions remained just that.

We traversed the secret passage, emerging in a secluded hut far from the grounds of Hogwarts. After we marched resolutely towards the forest. The boys had informed me that numerous paths led into the forest, but this was the most concealed.
I also learned that the Shrieking Shack had served as Remus Lupin’s refuge during the full moon, where he had restrained himself. The Whomping Willow had barred his return to Hogwarts in his werewolf form.
The reason why we met last full moon; the boys had gone into the forest the last three full moons without knowing that another werewolf had claimed territory there. That second werewolf had been me.
From the boys, I learned they roamed the Forbidden Forest as animals because an Animagus, injured by a werewolf, did not transform into one. Their goal was to prevent Remus from harming himself in the Shrieking Shack, even if it meant flouting the law.
Initially quiet, their chatter increased towards the end of our journey. Remus shared tales of Hogsmeade and other matters, displaying a wealth of knowledge and using these stories as a distraction.
The forest blurred past us, and as we reached a suitable clearing, the moon was about to began its ascent.
»Then, I guess it's time for us to part ways?« I raised my voice. The boys looked at me oddly.
»Part ways?«
»Do you want a repeat of last time?« Remus asked Sirius.
»Will you always attack each other?« James inquired shrewdly. I could internally deny it, but Remus sarcastically grumbled, »Ask me that again when I'm transformed, maybe you'll get a different answer.«
At those words, James fell silent. After a brief pause, where only the wind's whistle in the treetops was audible, I said, »Then I'm going in this direction.« I set off, but was halted.
»Shouldn't someone accompany you? What if you chase us this time?« Sirius asked.
I shrugged. »I've managed all these years on my own. Try to move in the opposite direction. Or do what you want. I'm going this way, it's almost time.« I walked away.
The snow was ankle-deep. Step by step, I distanced myself from the boys. I walked along the forest, always heading west, then disappeared under the trees. My path led me deep into the forest, and I remained alone. Fortunately.
I continued on my way, ignoring the first signs of transformation. I defied the moon as long as I could, but it won.
When the time came, I shed my coat and other clothes. I had not yet learned a spell to restore my torn garments, but that no longer mattered as the transformation began. I became a monster.
Throughout the night, I moved further away from the other werewolf, Remus Lupin.

When the night was over, and I had dressed once more, I chose not to wait for the Marauders. I felt too wretched to seek them out. My body ached, yet somehow, I managed to navigate my way back to the castle alone. Yes, I went back; I did not want to stay in the forest.
I activated the root that Peter had touched, and the Willow remained still. I did not know that Remus went to the Hospital Wing every full moon, so I continued my way and found my way back into the common room on my own.
In the dormitory, I tiptoed past the sleeping girls and slipped into the bathroom. As always, I avoided the mirror, stepping directly under the shower. Confronting my reflection after a full moon night was unbearable. In the mirror, beside the sickly girl, there would be nothing but a monster staring back.
The warm water did little to soothe my inner wounds, yet I stood there for a long time. When the sky outside began to turn grey, I crawled into bed. Hidden beneath my blanket, exhaustion seeped in, leaving me shivering and weak. Tears streamed down my face, and I could not take it anymore; I did not want to have to endure this every month.

Why me?
Why must my life be this way?

The tears flowed unabated, and sobs escaped my lips as I pulled the blanket closer. I tried not to wake the other girls, but eventually, one side of my curtains was gently drawn back. Through the dim light and my tears, I could barely make out the figure of Lily.
»You're not alone, Phil,« she whispered, placing a comforting hand on my back. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand, my lower lip trembling.
Speaking was beyond me. I closed my eyes, while Lily sat beside me on the bed, staying with me until sleep finally claimed me. She stroked my head tenderly, leaving me to wonder how I had come to deserve such a friend.