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SHE WASN'T LOOKING AT ME WAS SHE?

IT WAS always the small details that mattered most. Like how the stones and leaves crunch underneath your shoes, how much your arms hurt from carrying your most needed items in a trunk, or how once you finally see what you've been looking for the entire 8 weeks of summer appears in front of you, your shoulder sag, your posture becomes less tense, and a smiles eases its way onto your face. All those details lead up to one thing and one thing only, you've become relaxed.

All the worry in your mind about, how will I do this? How can I do this? Will he be happy? Leave. And all of his thoughts of you being useless, disrespectful, and snobby, leave. Your mind becomes quiet, and suddenly the look on his face that tells you everything you need to know about what he thinks of you, will no longer matter.

That was the feeling that came across Iris Emerson for the past 6 years when she got to leave her house and return to her home. Autumn was coming into season and summer was disappearing into a faint memory, not that she minded as she didnt get to do anything outside family visits. But sadly for her, those were not great either as the only family she had left were muggles, and did not seem to be interested in associating with "her kind".

The only good thing that came out of this whole mess was Lily Evans herself. When her mother died, her father had decided that it would be an excellent idea to move them back into the muggle village where they lived before. Iris didn't like it all, the memories she had made of her mother, with her mother being scraped away like they were some photos that were taking up space. She didn't understand why he was doing this. Was it to punish her? She didn't know.

Everything changed when she was outside one summer, only on her front porch. When she heard the faint sound of a bell ringing. She looked up curiously to see a girl, hair as bright as the sunset and eyes as green as emerald riding a pink bike. She was smiling. Just to make sure that she wouldn't embarrass herself iris checked behind her, to see if there was some possibility that the girl was smiling at anyone else but her. But she wasn't. And when the girl, who had introduced herself as lily asked if she wanted any help with the picture she was drawing, they became inseparable.

That night, when she was explaining to her father what she had done that day, was the first time in a few months that she had seen him smile, specifically at her and pull her into an embrace. But soon found out the only reason was because things were finally looking up for him, and he was right that moving here was a good idea. Which was not true at all, it just so happened that the people living here were nice, that's all.

His smile didn't last long however when both Lily and Iris turned 11 just a week after one another, and they both got letters to a "boarding school" which they both soon figured out that the other was a witch and would be attending hogwarts together. The explanation to all of Iris's problems and tricks had finally been discovered and she had a friend to help her through it. It made her father angrier than ever.

The idea of having a witch in the neighbourhood, never mind in the house, scared him to death. But the worst thing was that it was covered up with anger and the only thing he knew what to do in that situation was avoid. Iris was neglected by her father for the next 7 months leading up to hogwarts.

So there she was, hand in hand with Lily Evans herself so ready to face what this year would bring.

Even though Lily's parents weren't the most supportive of their magical abilities, they still did everything that they where comfortable with in ensuring that their daughter had a good upbringing. And that included bringing her and Iris to the platform every year.

Lily let go of the girls hand to hug her parents goodbye as Iris stared at the train, excitement running through her veins. With the bracelet on her wrist that was left to her by her mother helped with the slight headache that came with reading people's minds. No one except the teachers, and Lily knew of her ability at Hogwarts, and it was important to keep it that way.

Eventually after saying goodbye both girls headed towards the train, but not before noticing a quite amusing situation. Quickly slapping Lily's arm Iris pointed slightly into the distance where a boy was stood. Curly hair and glasses half way down his nose, it seemed that he was waving at... no one?

"Hmm odd," muttered Iris. Lily scoffed slightly, trying to cover her slight laugh after noticing that the location that the boy was currently waving at is where they where standing only 20 seconds ago.

"Yeah, odd" was all she said as they carried on with their journey.

🦌

His heart was pounding in his chest, lungs feeling as if they were about to burst from the lack of air, head feeling dizzy but in a good way. All these symptoms were very familiar to him, so familiar that it actually started to feel good. His friends say that it isn't healthy to feel this way all the time and that he should do something about it. But they don't understand, he would go through all the pain and suffering in the world a million times over if it meant he got to be close to her.

James potter would go through all the pain and suffering in the world a million times over if it meant he got to be close to Iris Emerson.

And one in a million of those times was now. As he stood, his proud stance and boyish smirk disappeared into a stance as if he was about to melt into the ground, and a dreamy smile. Nothing else mattered in that moment, nothing but her. The feeling of his mum fixing his collar suddenly disappeared into oblivion, the laughs of Sirius and his dad got blurred with hers, and as they are eyes connected, and as she smiles, everything was ok.

But she wasnt really smiling.

Sirius had never been more amused in his life than now. Covering a hand to his mouth, failing miserably to cover his snickers as two utterly confused grown ups stood just an inch behind him, he was genuinely starting to get worried for his best friend.

He didnt know which was worse, knowing that his parents would most likely be here with his brother or watching the boy he had such an attachment to stand in the middle of the platform, dazed with a smile on his lips, waving at absolutely no one.

Of course he knew who he was waving at, that was obvious. It was the fact that she wasn't waving back, or even remotely looking in their direction for that matter. James Potter was so in love with the girl he had mentally imagined that she was standing there, looking at nothing but him, smiling and waving.

Sirius felt Mia trying to get past to check on her son but put a hand up to stop her, still trying to contain his laughter.

"Give it one more second," he said. Mia signed but listened anyway and it wasn't long before her husband started to laugh also. She turned to him with a scolding glare.

"Don't laugh at your son, go help him" she said while hitting his shoulder. Monty muttered out a small 'ouch' but went towards his son, who was now starting to look like a bit of an idiot and gaining stares and patted his shoulder.

"James, mate" hearing his fathers voice he turned his attention to the older man, still feeling fuzzy.

"Hmm?" he asked lazily and quickly looked back to where she was standing, only to find her not there. Panic stuck in as he desperately tried looking around for her, only to catch a sight of her stepping onto the train. Eyebrows furrowed in confusion, he tried to figure out how quickly she had had to walk to get from where she was standing, to board the train. This only made him 10 times more confused as he realised there was no way that she could've done it unless,,,

"She wasn't looking at me was she?" he said with realisation. His father only shook his head, faking sadness.

"No james, she wasn't"

Her motherly instinct kicking in, Mia saw how deflated her son was and tried to offer some advice. "James, honey you've been talking about this girl for years. Have you ever tried, maybe, I don't know, to talk to her?" she asked, trying to be gentle but making sure she got her point across at the same time. But quickly realised she may have been wrong when her son gave her a look as if saying that she belonged in a mental hospital.

"Talk to her, are you mental? She has about 6 bodyguards, the toughest being Goldilocks and ginger bread" he said, putting a hand on his head, looking as if he was about to faint at the idea of saying one word to the girl.

The truth was that iris had instantly clicked with another ravenclaw in their year, dorcas meadowes. And when she then became close with Marlene Mckinnon, Iris then started hanging out with the Gryffindor girl a lot more. Now to the point they were all one big group.

The girls knew about James's crush, or love more like. Of course they did, he wasn't exactly very good at hiding it. But in all honesty they built this wall between him and her. He didn't exactly like it but he understood why. Iris was hard working and quiet and everything that James was not, so in his defence he hasn't got a singular chance to speak with her in the first place.

He saw his mum sign out of the corner of his eye and started to feel guilty. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a warm embrace. "I'm sorry I called you mental." he said with sincerity, lacing his tone. His mum only laughed and patted his back. She pulled away and cupped his cheeks in her hands.

"I love you, have a good term" she smiled, James's favourite thing about his mother was her smile, it made him feel better even when he was at his lowest. "I love both of you" she added, looking back at Sirius, who looked like he could cry.

"What about me?" Monty asked, a teasing smile on his face. Mia only ignored him which caused Sirius to chuckle as both boys said their goodbyes and headed on to the train, excited for the year ahead.

Oh if only they knew what fate had in store...

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A/N
Boy falls first trope >>>

I love James so much he's literally my life (not exaggerating) I've been resisting the urge to write this for so long but my love for him won over.