Ren

DECEMBER 2010

"It won't zip, Rennie."

"Don't play with me right now, Sydney! I'm already freaking out."

"You're boobs are way too big now!" Chiara giggles, helping Sydney pull the dress closed in the back.

"God, I never thought that would be the problem!" I groan. "Here, I'll breathe in deeper." I suck in a huge breath and can barely utter the words, "Try it now."

"Yes, that did it! Got that sucker up!" Sydney cheers.

I look down at my off-white wedding dress, and my breasts are nearly bursting out the top. I picked out this dress two months ago with Sydney, and it fit just right—an empire dress with a lacy bodice, wide lace straps, and a sweetheart neckline. The chiffon fabric pleats just under the bust and cascades to the floor. Perfect, I thought, to accommodate a growing belly—I wasn't thinking of a growing chest size as well.

"Let me take a look," Chiara says, coming around to see the front. "Jeez, that's a lot of cleavage."

"Well, I'm pretty sure the groom won't mind!" Sydney smirks.

"I want him looking at her face, not her breasts Sydney! We don't need two indecent body parts on display up there. Can you even breathe, Ren?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It is what it is, I guess. How pregnant do I look?"

"Not at all. You look gorgeous!" Chiara assures me.

I'm glad I'm not showing because we haven't told everyone yet. I'm just entering my second trimester, and we are waiting until just after the wedding, which we pushed forward as soon as the divorce was finalized in October. It was a race to get a dress, rings, and a venue, but Gio pulled it off. And thanks to a December wedding, Gio got his way—it's in a church.

It is the cutest little white historic wooden chapel with a steeple, located on a country road on one of the routes out to the beach. The inside has creamy white walls and only eight rows of old, dark wooden pews. We both fell in love with it instantly. Happily for me, it was nondenominational, and because we were looking in the off-season, it had an open weekend. We booked it the day we saw it.

Sydney's lip quivers as she does some finishing touches on my make-up. "I can't believe you're finally marrying Gio. I remember the first time you told me about him. You gushed about some fifteen-year-old boy you had a huge crush on, then totally ran away from him when you bumped into each other at the concert!"

"I remember not trusting you at all with my brother the day I caught you in his room," Chiara cut in. "When you guys broke up, I realized how much I missed having you in our family's life. There is no one I'd rather have as a sister-in-law. I just had to get you back." 

Oh, my heart! I pull both girls in for a hug just as the old knob rattles on the door to the dressing room. The door cracks open, and the three of us spin around. My dad peeks his head in the door, looking modestly at the ground. "You girls almost ready?"

"Yes, Dad, come in. How do you like it?" I do a little twirl for him.

"Aw, Honey, you look incredible!" He pulls me into a big hug.

"Thanks, Dad."

"Everyone is in their seats, and the boys are going up to the front right now. You feeling good?"

Somehow, the thought of Gio waiting for me at the front of the church sets my heart up a notch, pulling more moisture to the edge of my skin. People always say you're glowing when you're pregnant, but I think that's just a nice way to look at having a constant layer of perspiration. 

I clutch at my dad's arm. "I can't believe this moment is finally here. I want this so much. Why am I feeling nervous?"

"Hey, sweetheart. It's okay. Gio's nervous, too. I was just checking on him before I came here, and I nearly had to shake him because he was so stiff. Nothing to worry about. It's just a big day for the both of you."

"We're ready for you," the church director says, opening the door wide. "Chiara, Sydney, can I get you to line up at the door? I just sent little Tony and Angela down the aisle."

Chiara and Sydney give me excited grins as they grab their bouquets and skip over to the door. The music starts, and my heartbeat vibrates in my chest. As amazing as this is, I think I've never liked attending my own weddings— I'm too much the focus of attention.

My father takes my arm, patting it reassuringly, and I suck in a deep steading breath as an eddy of conflicting emotions swirl inside me. Tears are already prickling my eyes, and I haven't even stepped onto the aisle yet! When we turn the corner, all eyes turn to me, but all I can see is Gio.

He is dressed in a classic black tux, vest, and black tie—his hands clasped before him. His hair is freshly shaved on the sides, and the rest is sexily flicked to the side and gelled back. His eyes find mine immediately, and this look of nervous, raw, and exposed love I'll never forget strikes softly over his features. For a moment, it is only us.

Suddenly I see a hundred Gio's standing there. The thirteen-year-old sitting on the bus behind me, who was too shy to talk. The one at the middle school dance when he confessed he wanted to be my boyfriend but was moving away.

The Gio in Study Hall who caught me off guard when he moved back. When he wanted to kiss me behind the library but his brother came too soon.

The teen boy who said he thought I was 'the one' that morning in SF, and the grown man when he first saw me again by chance in an elevator. When he asked me to marry him by a waterfall in Hawaii and now the Gio I'm marrying today.

I see all these versions of him mix together, and my heart swells to near-painful extents with euphoric emotion. This feeling, like my whole life, has been leading me to this moment with him as I walk slowly towards it—ever closer with each step.

Chiarah and Sydney stand waiting for my arrival, their eyes damp with love and anticipation, too. Before I turn my attention back to Gio, I look at his two groomsmen, Adam at the end and Charlie by his side. 

"Damn," softly escapes Charlie's mouth, and I watch Gios eyes harden for a second while Adam, keeping his face serene and serious, discreetly stabs Charlie hard with his elbow.

The pastor's voice makes all of us snap our eyes to the front.

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?"

"Her mother and I do." My dad's voice is loud and confident.

I turn to face my dad, whose face is practically glowing with pride and joy in finally seeing me on my wedding day, about to marry his favorite suitor of mine. I'm sure he's more than ready to call Gio, his son, for real now.

He leans down and kisses my cheek. "I love you, honey. I'm so happy for you today. Then he lifts my hand and places it in Gio's. Our eyes connect as the touch of Gio's hand sends a zing to my heart, and I suddenly feel a bit faint. I pick up my dress and look down. I step carefully so I don't fall as Gio helps me up onto the altar. 

My body is overheating as I feel the intensity of the crowd watching my every move. I just need to block everyone out and focus on Gio. He is devastatingly handsome today, yet he has the sweetest expression of overwhelm, caressing his chiseled features, making it difficult to catch my breath.

This damn dress! My chest slowly heaves in and out while I try to calm myself. Gio's eyes go wide as they fixate on my pillowed breasts, toying with erupting out of my tight lace bodice. I blink at him—I think he's stopped breathing.

"Family and friends, thank you all for coming today to share in this wonderful occasion to join Giovanni and Lauren..."

His eyes shoot back up to mine, startled, and he fidgets around, adjusting his hands clasped in front. Then cocks his head and sends me a cheeky look of 'What the hell are you trying to do to me,' and I suppress a giggle that wonderfully helps ease my mood.

The pastor continues, but Gio and I hold our own private conversation with our eyes. I'm only partially listening when I hear the passage from Corinthians begin.

"Love is patient, love is kind."

Gio and I agreed immediately on this poem when we were asked to pick one—and in response to the words, his warm smile melts in my heart.

"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails."

This is our love. 

I feel my consciousness slowly peel away from my body, and I start to float above myself for most of the ceremony. Reality strangely bends in this blissful moment, but this next line suddenly brings me right back to the ground.

"Do you, Lauren, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love, comfort, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?"

It's a big promise to make knowing what I know about him now, but I look into Gio's eyes and know the answer in the deepest part of my soul without question.

"I do."

"And do you, Giovanni, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love, comfort, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?"

I can nearly hear Gio's heart thudding in his chest, and he looks as intent and solemn as I've ever seen him, and he answers deep and horsely, "I do."

Now it's time for the rings. Gio goes to his nephew Tony, who looks a little woozy from standing still so long, and unties the rings.

"Lauren and Giovanni, you have chosen these rings to exchange with each other as a symbol of your unending love. Gio, as you place this ring on Lauren's finger, please repeat after me."

Gio looks down, listening intently, then holds up the delicate ring and raises his eyes slowly to meet mine. As they do, that magical little circuit completes between us. My bottom lashes well up with tears, and then his does, too—our emotional state seems to be completely connected in this moment.

"Lauren," his voice is tight as he starts, but grows stronger. "With this ring, I thee wed and pledge to you my love now and forever." His eyes are powerfully sincere, and I have to look up and breathe with a hand over my chest to keep from totally losing it.

He takes my hand in his, and I can feel how much it's trembling as he slides the ring gently up my finger. Then whispers a quiet "I love you" that only I can hear, and that explodes another hormone bomb inside me. I press my lips tightly together as the tears start to fall.

Now it's my turn, but I can't find my voice yet. This is not how it went down at all last wedding—I assure you. 

Two false starts later, I take another minute to look up and fan myself, and an embarrassed laugh escapes me. God! I must look ridiculous right now! But as I glance into the audience, there is not a dry eye to be found. I collect myself enough to take Gio's ring.

"Giovanni, With this ring—" My voice cracks. 

Oh, no, here come the waterworks again. I'm gonna cry it out! In a very tight voice, with tears leaking from my eyes, I continue, doing my best to look him in the eye and not break down entirely in sobs. "I thee wed... and pledge you my love... now and for forever."

Gio's lip is quivering, and he quickly wipes his eyes with his right thumb. I take his ring in my trembling fingers, finding his left hand through my bleary eyes, and slide it securely on. Gio then clasps both my hands tightly in his, and we smile triumphantly at each other; our hearts, untethered, lift us off the ground. The moment we've been waiting to hear for so long has finally arrived.

"Giovanni and Lauren, by the authority vested in me by the State of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the bride!"

And before the last word even touches my ear, Gio has already snatched me up in his arms. He bends me slightly back, and with the biggest cheer from our friends and family, he presses his soft lips to mine in an ardent and heartfelt kiss. 

♥︎♥︎♥︎

The reception is in a family-owned Italian restaurant across the street, and we had half the dining area cleared to make a dance floor. Gio and I came in later after photographs were taken and were officially announced to a round of applause as Mr. and Mrs. Regali.

After dinner and speeches, we had our first dance to a song Hannah sang while she played her acoustic guitar. Then Gio plugged in his phone and turned on a mix he had curated for the remainder of the night.

An hour later, Gio drags me off the dance floor to get some alone time, but we are instantly obstructed by more friends and family. Charlie stops to talk to Gio, and my aunt Gina swoops in to wish me good night. Gio and I try to escape again, but he is pulled aside by his dad, and Charlie grabs me by the elbow.

"Hey, Ren—Having fun yet?" he winks at me. "What's you're hot cousin's name? The one with the long light-brown hair and gorgeous green eyes? You said you didn't have a sister, but Holy Hell, you've been holding out on me!"

"Charlie," I sigh. "She's only twenty-three." 

"So! That's only seven years. Come on, please! Introduce me."

"Okay, you win. Her name is Leigh, but you'll have to introduce yourself. Though, I know that won't be a problem for you."

"Nope," he grins, looking over my shoulder for her, then without looking at me, adds as an aside, "Your boobs look hot tonight, by the way. Gio nearly creamed his pants when he saw you."

"Char—" but he's already turned and disappeared into the crowd to find Leigh. I sigh and turn to find myself alone with Gio's dad.

"Lau'ren," he says, kissing me on the cheek. "Tonight has been a dream. I'm so lucky to have been part of it. I have you to thank for that."

"No. It was supposed to happen this way."

"Destino?" he smiles. "Do you believe in fate?"

"I do now." 

We smile fondly at each other, but then it goes quiet, the moment growing awkward, and I'm straining my brain to fill the uncomfortable silence. Then, a question that has been burning inside me from the first time I saw it pops into my brain.

Don't say it, Ren, stop your dang mouth—

"Soooo, I always noticed your ring... are you in the mafia or something?"

You idiot! 

But Carlo just chuckles, amused. "No Lau'ren. That's just Hollywood stuff. Lots of men in Italy wear rings on their last finger. It was my grandfather's. It is a signet ring with our family's crest on it. See—" He shows me the intricate design of the family shield. 

"Look, I want to ask you—I'd love to pay for you both to come to Italy for your honeymoon—before the baby comes. So Gio can meet his grandparents. See our Estate near Verona." 

"Estate?" 

"Yes, um, my family owns... quite a bit of property in Italy. We'll discuss with Gio later, of course. But it would mean the world to me. Come for Christmas. I'll cover everything. My treat."

Um. Fuck! I don't know what to say to that.

"Just say yes, principessa."

"Okay, Carlo. Yes."

When I think back to just over a year ago—to my flight on the plane with this man who fate ended up seatting beside me... I could never have dreamed—in a thousand years—it would end up like this.

♥︎♥︎♥︎

https://youtu.be/M-AMu_iAcf8