September 18, 2022

"I hope you and your sister can sort things out soon, Amy," I say happily to the last caller. "Now, here is a song all about saying "I'm sorry" to end the show. This has been Kai Harkins and you are listening to BBC Radio 1. Have a great day!"

Stepping out of the booth, Seth is already walking up along side me from the sound control room and handing me a cup of coffee. "You look tired. Jace keep you up late again?"

He teases, but I groan as I chuckle along with him while gathering my things, "He most certainly did, but not in the way you're thinking. The man is obsessing over this whole moving thing. He can't seem to make up his mind about anything."

Seth grins at me and throws his arm around my shoulder, "I mean we could always ditch him and Charlie and run off into the sunset together. Elope and never be seen again."

I roll my eyes and shove him off, "Har-har. Like you'd survive one day without Charlie. You two are more joined at the hip than Jace and I, and that's hard to be."

"Yeah, we're pretty cute," Seth says with a bright smile, sighing blissfully. "And goodness he can do things in the bedroom you wouldn't even imag--"

"I'm going to stop you now before you scar me for life," I say, slapping a hand over his mouth.

Yeah, it's true. After that night with Ollie, something really went off in me. I realized that I am a thirty-one year old man, who is now--finally--with the person I plan to spend the rest of my life with. When that sunk in I realized that I didn't want to take things quite as slow, I'm ready to settle down. I already know what I want, so why was I waiting for it? A few days ago I finally got up the courage to ask Jace if he would like to live with me. Of course, he was shocked by the timing, but didn't hesitate to say yes.

We talked a lot and couldn't really decide who should move in with who. Both of us have small homes, but seeing as his is slightly larger, I agreed to make the move to Reading and make the thirty minute commute to work. That way he can continue working with his same therapy group and stay near Grams.

Jace had been going crazy, however, about changing the house around to accommodate my things. I'd left him alone for literally one day, telling him to relax and that we'd make it all work, and by the time I went to see him yesterday he had set us up to go house searching saying that we should start our new life together fresh in a house all our own. Which, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't entirely thrilled about.

Now, however, Jace won't stop coming over or calling me constantly to discuss the pro's and con's of every single option we have. Last night he literally complained about the colour of kitchen cabinets for like an hour. Never in all his life has he come off as such a rich boy. He's humble in every way, but when it comes to interior design in a house? The boy is a control freak, let me tell you.

But, he's happy and that's all that I care about anymore.

"Is that him?" Seth asks as we step outside of the building and see a car pull up.

"Yeah, we're going to look at houses in Reading with Zoe and Grams," I say, waving goodbye as I hurry over and climb into the car.

I smile at the handsome man in the driver's seat and lean over to give him a quick kiss, "Hey, beautiful."

"Hi... I've missed you," He says with a bashful smile.

"It's literally been a day," I chuckle, taking his free hand in mine as he starts driving.

His nose crinkles in annoyance with me, "So? I still missed you. Deal with it."

And I'm more than happy to do so.

"Wow! It's so pretty!" Ollie exclaims, running through the entrance of the fourth house we've looked at today.

"Oh, no! Don't touch anything, Ollie!" I hear Zoe shout, wincing as we hear something shatter somewhere in the kitchen followed by a sweet little 'oops'.

Zoe turns and laughs nervously as the realtor looks rather fed up, "I'll pay for that... and the vase from the other house... heh--Ollie!"

I can't help but laugh as my best friend runs after her troublesome little girl. She's such a good mom, but I can easily see the likeness between the two. Zo is certainly going to have her hands full when Ollie is a teenager if she's anything like her mother was. Strong-willed, free, and stubborn as an ox.

"How many bed and bath's?" Jace asks, looking just as amused as myself.

"One master bedroom with a master bath, four spare rooms, two of which have a connecting bathroom. The attic is small but can be converted into an extra bedroom if needed. Then there is a single bathroom on the main floor," The man says, giving us a tour of the lower, main floor.

"So that's a room for us, and two or three spare bedrooms for company, and a music room. Perhaps one of the bedrooms can double as a study. You also said there was a sun room and connected garden?" Jace is right on top of this, as he has been with the last few houses, but I feel like this one has his attention.

To be honest it has mine, too. Something about it is warm and welcoming. It reminds me a lot of the kind of house my mom always used to talk about wanting. Big and happy with enough room for all the people she loves. I can imagine cooking meals for all my friends and family, everyone hanging out in the large lounge and just having fun and spending time together.

"Kai?" Jace asks, pulling me out of my daydream.

"Yeah?" I ask, making him smirk at me, probably knowing that I had been lost in my thoughts.

"I asked what you think of it?"

I smile and look around the garden and up at the two story brick house, "I love it. It feels like home."

Jace nods and pulls me into his arms, smiling as he takes in the surroundings again, "So, this is it?"

I nod and that is that. We go inside and start signing papers and arrange it so that we can begin moving in the next week or so. I'm excited, because this is it. Things get serious from here. We'll be living together and who knows what will come next. It's all up in the air, but we're here together and we're moving forward.

The smile he gives me as I cuddle up to him that night tells me that everything can only go up from here. His mood is better, my health is better, everyone seems to happy and we just signed for our first home together. Things are finally looking up and I have never in my life felt so happy to be alive.

September 22, 2022

A few days later, Charlie and I are in the middle of cleaning and repainting some of the rooms in the new house, hanging out just him and I for the first time in a while and I must say I've missed it. He's not home very often since he and Seth got together, and since I announced that I'm leaving, I asked him if he wanted to keep the flat or if he had other plans.

He had been planning on renting out a cheaper place for him and Seth, not thinking staying in my rather nice flat to be a possibility. I already talked it over with Jace and Martyn and Martyn said he'd be more than happy to keep the apartment payments going. Not only will it be a good place for Charlie and Seth, but it's a decent crash pad for Jace and I whenever we're in London if we don't want to drive all the way across the city to his parents.

"You know, I keep thinking about what would have happened if I hadn't decided to stop in Reading to see everyone, and run into you at that flower shop. I wouldn't have known Jace was alive, I may not have become friends with you... I wouldn't have met Seth," Charlie says, shaking his head and giving me a small smile. "It's crazy how such a small decision can make such a big impact, huh?"

I nod, thinking about it. He's right of course. If I hadn't returned to Reading I wouldn't have seen Charlie and had him come live with me, I wouldn't have known Jace was alive, and I wouldn't have had the honour of meeting my wonderful little god-daughter. Even knowing all the pain I would deal with in these past months, I don't think I'd change a thing, because all of that had to happen in order for me to be where I am today. And I quite adore where I am in life these days.

"Yeah," I say softly, looking around the freshly painted room I hope to surprise Ollie with.

I'd painted the walls so that the wall with the window and the one parallel with it are a royal purple and the opposite walls are a vibrant green, much like the colour of the poplars at Leah's aunt's camp. Leah had filled the kids head with magical ideas about the forest while we were there and she'd been completely enamoured by the whole thing and insisted that along with purple, green just had to be her other favourite colour. The kid is too cute for words, honestly.

"She's going to love it, and I'm sure after a stay or two she'll add the Ollie touch," Charlie says with a chuckle, going to wash up.

"Probably," I laugh, but jump at the sound of my phone vibrating on the table.

Walking over I see Zoe's name flashing across the screen, so I swipe to answer and put the phone to my ear careful of the paint, "Yes, dear?"

"Have you heard from Jace?" She asks, sounding like she's rushing around. "He's supposed to babysit Ollie after school and I want to make sure he knows he needs to pick her up now because I got asked to come in early."

"Oh! No, I haven't, hold on I'll text him real quick," I say, pulling the phone from my ear and shooting him a quick text.

Moments later I see his response pop up. "He said he's at his house. I'll just head over there right now and I'll help him with Ollie. Don't worry, hun, she'll get home safe and sound."

"Ugh, thanks Kaily, you're a babe! I'll talk to you later, okay? Love ya!" With that, the call ends and I'm heading downstairs to find Charlie.

"Hey Charlie! I'm heading over to Jace's, and then I'm helping him watch Ollie. Lock up before you leave?" I ask him, hoping he doesn't mind me needing to leave a little earlier than planned.

Charlie just waves me off with a smile, "No problem, I got everything taken care of here. I'll see you tomorrow!"

I nod and hurry out the door, excited to see Jace. I feel like a teenager the way every second apart almost feels like torture, but that's how I've always felt with Jace. I want to be with him always, and every time I get to see him after any length of time brings me comfort. Perhaps I'm still a little damaged by our past, but if the worst problem I have right now is an inability to be apart from my love, I think I can live with that.

When I get to Jace's I knock, feeling happy and rather excited to hangout with Ollie again. It's been so nice spending so much time with her. She's brought out a side of me I didn't know I had; a protective, fatherly side. Every second I spend with her makes my want for a kid all the greater. I like to think that I'd be a great dad, and I'm finally in a place in life that I think I could raise a family well. I smile to myself, knowing I'm getting ahead again, but simply proud of how far I've come.

I mean, there was once a time I wished never to be a parent because I feared becoming just like my parents. But, by now I know that I'll never be like them. I learned from them and from that, I know I'll be able to do right by my kid and I'd never let my child go through even half what I did. They'll be loved and accepted and free to be whoever they wish as long as I have anything to say about it.

I furrow my brows in confusion when Jace doesn't answer and open the door to let myself in, "Jace?"

No answer. I wonder if he's upstairs or something, probably playing music. That'd explain why he didn't hear my knocking. I wander down the hall and into the living room, seeing the TV off and no sign of him.

Just as I'm about to call for Jace again I feel my phone vibrate and see it's Zoe again, so I quickly answer as I wander further down the hall to the kitchen, "Yeah, Zo?"

"Kai, are you at Jace's?" she asks, a little too quick.

"Yeah, why?" I ask.

"Kai, Jace is here with me. He's been at Grams and hasn't had his phone on him all day, he forgot it at home. It wasn't him who texted you. You need to get out, now!" She says sternly, voice shaking slightly.

I feel my blood run cold as her words sink into my mind, "It wasn't hi--"

Suddenly, something hard hit's me in the side of the head with extreme force and my entire world goes black. The last thing I remember is seeing someone stand over me as Zoe's voice suddenly gets cut off. Then, I'm out cold and the world around me goes silent.

**

I don't think I'm out for very long, but when I finally come to I'm met with a sight that sends a shiver of fear down my spine. There, sitting in a chair across from me--holding a bat--is none other than Jasper; glaring at me viciously.

My hand lifts to feel the spot I was struck and when I pull my hand away I see my fingers coated in blood and that's when I know I'm in deep trouble. He's serious. He's not afraid to cause serious harm. I'm trapped in a room with a sadistic man, and I have no doubt in my mind he doesn't intend to let me leave unscathed at the very least.

"Jasper... what--"

"Oh, shut up," He sneers, standing and shoving me onto my back with his foot. "You think you're real clever, don't you? Filling his head with shit and taking him away from me? We were happy, but you just couldn't stand it could you? You were jealous, and you just had to take him. He was mine!"

He's insane. I truly believe it. The way his wide eyes glare at me so furiously, the way his lips twitch like he's only just holding back from beating the life out of me. The fear that rushes through me is old but familiar, as Jasper's face warps into that of my father's and back again. Over and over. The similarities in the way they close in on me, only with harmful intention.

My eyes widen as I shake my head, my body frozen by the fear, "Please. Don't do this. Jasper, you were hurting him. You must see that. I know you can't be a completely awful person, there has to be a side of you that made Jace love you to begin with, but this isn't right. Please, just put down the bat and lets talk--"

"Fuck you," He laughs bitterly, raising the bat and bringing it down on my hip with a sickening thud.

A cry out in pain, trying to curl in on myself to try to protect myself, but his foot kicks me hard in the chest, pushing me over onto my back and knocking the air from my lungs. He continues bringing that bloody bat down on my body, over and over relentlessly, until eventually he gets too savage to even use a weapon and drops it, getting down to straddle me and begin throwing fists with all his might.

Something in me snaps at some point as I bring a knee up hard between his legs, before reaching up and grabbing him by the hair, yanking hard to the left to throw off his balance enough to flip us over as I rapidly pound my fists against his jaw, every bit of sanity and calm having vanished, "I hope. You rot. You stupid. Stupid! Bastard!"

His head lolls at one point as I sit there breathing raggedly, wiping the blood off my chin that drips from my split lip. My entire body shaking with adrenaline, both fueled by rage and fear. He pushed me too far, and I couldn't hold back anymore. If my father taught me anything, it was how not to sit back and take hits from anyone.

Just as I think he's delirious enough for me to get up, I begin to stand feeling woozy as my consciousness begins slipping, probably from the blows to the head. I let out a shocked gasp as a hand suddenly reaches up and grabs me roughly around the throat, fingers digging into my wind pipe. I soon find myself pinned on my back, choking, while staring up into the eyes of a mad man. He reaches by his waist for something, and my heart freezes in absolute terror as I see the gleaming switch blade gripped tightly in his hands.

"This is your fault! I didn't want it to come to this, but you pushed me! You're making me do it!" Jasper practically snarls, tears streaming from his eyes.

My eyes shut tight, readying myself just as I see his hand raise above his head, as if ready to strike, when a booming sound and voices come floating through the silence, "Hands up!"

My eyes open in time to see two police officers rushing in and hauling Jasper off me, who pleads that he didn't mean it, while two people in different uniforms start fussing over me and eventually lift me onto a gurney of sorts. My eyes can't seem to stay open for more than seconds at a time as everything spins and the edges go dark. The last thing I recall seeing is the swirling red and blue lights flashing all around, and then the next time I open my eyes, I'm in the back of an ambulance.

"Don't close your eyes, hun. You need to stay awake in case you have a concussion, " a woman says, shining a flashlight in both my eyes. "Can you tell us where you're hurt?"

I struggle to move, but manage to indicate my rather sore hip and my ribs.

"What's your name?" She asks clearly, but gently.

I cough, cringing at the pain that I now feel radiating through my torso, knowing surely I am covered in bruises or worse, "K-Kailas. Kailas Harkins."

"Okay, we're going to get you to the hospital, Kailas. You're alright now," She says, patting my knee gently. "Your friends are meeting us there."

With those last words spoken, I sigh in relief and let my head fall back on the pillow, glad that somehow luck was on my side again.

***

After the doctor's cleaned me up and finished the x-ray's, I was told I had two fractured ribs, severe bruising on my hip, and a sprained wrist. Other than fixing me up with a wrist brace and prescribing me pain meds to help until my ribs heal. They can't really splint ribs like you can other bones, so all they can really do is suggest I use a cold press, take pain killers and rest a lot until they heal on their own.

Once the doctor leaves, he says he'll send my visitor's in and then I can sign out. I sigh, wincing at the sharp jab of main in my side as I close my eyes and lean back. Turns out I did have a minor concussion, but other than not being able to sleep for the next twelve hours I'll be fine.

When the sound of feet shuffling in reaches my ears, my eyes flutter open to see Zoe, Jace and Charlie all standing there looking rather upset.

I smirk despite the situation and pretend to feign confusion, "Sheesh, who died?"

Tears spill down Jace's cheeks as he rushes to my side and hugs me as tightly as he can without hurting me, "Shut up, you jerk. Do you know how scared I was?"

I smile, nestling my face into the crook of his neck, "I'm fine, Love. Okay? Look, nothing severe. I'll be healed up in no time."

"I'm sorry, Kai... if I hadn't called you and just waited a bit longer-"

"No. Don't do that, Zo," I say sternly, frowning at the sadness in her eyes. "Come here."

She shuffles over and curls up under the arm I have lifted for her, cuddling gently so as to not put any pressure on my chest. "When the line went dead, I got so scared. I called the police right away, but you still got hurt. Kaily, what if-"

"No!" I snap in annoyance. "No what if's! It happened, and it's over. We finally have proof that Jasper is not stable and he's not going to be causing us any more trouble. Let's just be happy about that and stop looking at this so negatively. I'll be fine, we're all safe and sound now, and we don't need to worry about that bastard. Can we just be happy and not dwell on this? Please?"

Charlie shakes his head and laughs at me, "Coming from the dwelling king himself."

I smirk and playfully glare up at my friend, "If I could I'd get up and kick your ass right now."

"Kai, what happened in there?" Jace asks quietly. "I don't understand how you can be so calm about this."

The smile slowly slips from my face as I think back on it. The way Jasper had completely lost it, and to be honest, the way I had as well. Something happened to me in there that I'd really rather just leave it behind me. It's not something Jace needs to hear about and I just know deep down that we're all better off moving on to better things. And, I think he understands that when I look up into his eyes and simply shake my head. He looks sad, but nods and presses a kiss to my forehead. "It doesn't matter, I get it. I'm having restraining orders set in place regardless and we'll be questioned, but by the looks of it he's going to jail for a while for assault. He's gone from our lives now. That's all that matters... right?"

I nod and smile sadly as I reach up and swipe away a stray tear from his cheek, "Yeah, that's all that matters. Let's just go home, okay? I just want to put this behind us and focus on the good. I'm so done with all this depressing shit."

Everyone chuckles at that as they help me into a wheelchair to guide me down to the front desk to sign out. Everything that happened today may have been one screwed up mess, but I'm not going to let it destroy the happiness I've finally gotten. Jasper will pay for what he did, and I have Jace and I will continue on with my life. I'll force myself to brush this off and be happy if it's the last thing I do.

As Jace takes my hand in the back seat of Zoe's car, pulling me close to lean my head against his shoulder, I know I'll be okay. Life threw me another obstacle and I got past it and I'll continue to get past every other obstacle that comes my way. No point dwelling on stupid negative things when my new life is just before me now, waiting for me to live it. Jasper tried to ruin what we have, but I wouldn't allow that. Never again will that man hurt something I love.

Sitting in the quiet with my thoughts, I silently vow to myself to never let anything come between me and my happiness again. It's here in the palm of my hand and I'll protect it with everything I've got.

Because, I deserve to be happy.

~Shay<3