Pain, but I won't let it turn into Hate.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A quiet numbness fills my senses as I try to register what I had just heard unintentionally.

I believed that Adonis was a mean person on the outside, but had a speck of goodness and kindness within him because it is my belief that no person is wholly bad. Like wise for him, I just had to find the good in him.

Or so I thought.

Turns out that my previously mentioned theory was fantastically incorrect. His finale statement proved it wrong.

Scarlett: No you listen babe, you have to get rid of her. She is nothing but trouble!

Adonis: I can't! I JUST can't! She is not trouble at all! Why are you so worked up? I love you. You are my girlfriend and I really do love you.

Scarlett: Wake up Adonis Fuller! See past her good heart! Her heart is not good at all! She is a sly whore! Get rid of her! Let me live with you. That will be a good enough reason to drive her out.

Adonis: Steve and my father would DISOWN me if I ever turned a guest down! Besides, I am not even treating her as a guest! She is my maid for heaven's sake!

Scarlett: Tell me! TELL ME! Tell me ....t-that you really love me! That she means absolutely nothing to you!

Adonis: Scarlett Martinez, I love you honestly and sincerely. Our families are friends, we were friends before and you are all I can ever ask for.

Scarlett: And Cassandra?

Adonis: She is nothing. She is a worthless piece of shit who has looks and brains of an insect.......and I, we, our community, don't mix with insects.

********************

A worthless piece of shit
.
.
.
Looks and brains of an insect
.
.
.
Our community don't mix with insects
.
.
.

I don't go inside. I want to run far far away from this place.....but my legs, my whole body seems static. My minds urges me to flee but my senses are adamant. They say otherwise. I hear the tapping of feet getting closer and closer every second. She is leaving I suppose. She is just at the door and I'm slouched down outside.

Move damn feet! Move! Get up! Hide! Do something!

Wait, she is speaking again, but my senses are too numb to register what she says. I just concentrate on my escape.

RUNNNNN

I scramble up on my feet and stumble backwards, my knees wobbly. I see the door knob twisting and without thinking twice, I turn around and run. I run away from the house. I run towards the mass of trees....more like a mini forest behind the house. It is a very big island, hence dense vegetation is prevalent. Once I am safely hidden amidst the trees, I try to process everything I had just heard, but only one sentence keeps bugging me.

Adonis really hates me.

It would be better for both of us if I return back home. He will live peacefully with Scarlett, and I will go back to my normal routine.

It's just that, there won't be any more opportunities like this for me to travel to such exotic places and I really do want to make the most of this trip. Therefore, I won't let anyone, nit even Adonis and Scarlett ruin this for me. I will ignore him like I planned before.

Ignoring him hasn't worked that well so far........

SHUT UP!!! I scold my conscience. Just go with the flow. I tremble as I walk over to the house once again. Cassandra, you have such a feeble heart. Look at you! crying over an unknown boy who isn't even worth your time.

Then again, nobody is. You are a sad loner and you know it.

There it is again! If my conscience was a person, I would have stabbed it a zillion times. It just won't shut up!

Focus.

I reach the door and knock, quickly wiping away all my tear stains. I don't want him to know that I heard him and that I was crying.

I hear the shuffling of feet as Adonis opens the door. His eyes widen a bit and he let's me in.

I avoid eye contact with him and quickly make my way towards my room.

"You're back early." The voice stops me.

Without looking at him, I murmur a "yeah."

"What did you do?" He enquires, a tinge of hesitance in his voice.

Why does he care? I tell him anyways.
"I got a job." No need to tell him where or what.

"Really? Good for you then." His tone is......sad?

"Look at me will you? One cannot really have a conversation when the other person is staring at the floor."

My cheeks turned a deep shade of crimson at his comment much to my dismay. I turn around and look at him, my cheeks betraying me again.

He is smiling. He dosen't look annoyed like he always is. He hasn't even tried to pick up a fight. He looks and acts.............. different. That makes me all the more scared. What happened between him and Scarlett while I was gone? I decide not to ask him that.

Besides, this new act is probably a facade. Our community don't mix with insects.

Yep. Definitely a facade.

I don't realise I am staring at him with wide eyes. Hence when he tilts his head and gives me an amused smirk, I stutter for an explanation, failing miserably.

"I-i-i w-wa-s just-t" I desperately try to form a sentence.

"Yes. Yes I realise what you were trying to do." He smiles.

Yes. He smiles. Not smirks. Not frowns. Not grunts. Smiles.

Did Scarlett hit him on the head or what? Whatever it was, it seemed to have made a huge difference in his behavior towards me. Or was he this cranky with others as well? I sigh and shake my head.

"What are you thinking?"

My head jerks up at this and I suddenly find myself closer to him. Almost a few inches away. He took a tiny step towards me again, his face confused.

"N-nothing." I somehow manage to say. Conversation proved all the more difficult when he stood so close to me, gazing into my eyes as if concerned about me deeply.

Maybe,.. just maybe, what he said to Scarlett earlier was a lie?

I immediately shake that impossible thought away. There is no way he cares about my feelings.

Nice acting Adonis.

"Cassandra...." He exhales looking at me softly.

I am too shook to respond fast. His hypnotising eyes pierce mine so deeply, that my thoughts become irrational and wrong. I open my mouth and close it again, afraid that I'll say something completely absurd.

It takes me a while to reply "y-yes?"

He takes in a hitched breath and searches my eyes for something I have no clue about. All of a sudden, I feel a warm hand entwine mine and squeezes softly.

My eyes widen like owls and I panic at the sudden contact. I jerk my hand away from his and stumble backwards. Im too shocked to say anything to him. I have never experienced such an intimate moment with anyone. My heart hammers audibly within me and I gather the courage to steal a glance at him.

To my utter surprise, he looks flustered and lost.

My heart feels heavy looking at him and suddenly feeling immensely bold, I risk to ask a question.

"I am an insect and a worthless piece of shit aren't I? If that is so, then why are you talking to me in the first place?"

Fresh tears fall from my eyes as I mentally slap myself for asking this question.

If Adonis was looking lost previously, then his expression now dosen't even compare to his previous look.

He goes white as soon as I utter thesw words and I immediately regret what I asked.

"Ho-ow d-did ....what...when..." For once he looks flabbergasted as tries to form a sentence.

"Nothing. Ignore what I said." I rush in quickly, hoping he would end the matter here.

Apparently not.

"No. What you heard, ...just let us talk this through. Please!" He rushes foreward towards me, his eyes pleading.

And I, as if this damage wasn't enough, reply,

"N-no...it's alright. I get it. Um, goodnight then!" What is wrong with me!

Not giving him the chance of explaining himself, I rush in to my room and softly close the door, locking it immediately.

Why did I say that! There is something wrong with me!

I thump back into my bed and let the much awaited tears fall heavily down my cheeks.

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I am so sorry for not updating sooner 😢

I'm sorry if Adonis seems to be a creep.

I'm sorry if Cassandra seems to be heartless.

Will it get better? I cannot make any promises. Yall have to read to find out!

All the love
Hazza❤