Somewhere Only We Know-Keane

I'll Be- Edwin McCain

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Ryder POV

"Jayda," I call her name. She sits on the white bench out in the courtyard crying. She sniffles and wipes her nose, turning away from me to wipe her eyes. I sit near her, "What's wrong? What happened?"

I've been looking for her all night; the only reason I found her just now was because I saw someone rushing through the room and out the doors; I knew it had to be her. She keeps her head to the side, hiding her tears. I place my hand over top of hers, and she finally looks at me; her brown eyes are glossy because of the tears; she bites her bottom lip, trying not to cry out loud, but then she gives in, resting her head on my chest, now crying out.

I just hold her tightly and close to my chest; when she is like this, I know that there is nothing I can do but let her cry and allow this to pass. She cries and cries and cries, ruining my shirt with her tears. It's okay, though.
"Can you tell me what's wrong?" I ask. I need to know why she is like this so then I can fix it.

"My dad hates me," she says.

I don't know how to fix that. "I'm sure he doesn't hate you," He can hate me because we aren't related; I'm not his son or family. So he can hate me if he wants, but he can't hate Jayda, not just because it's his daughter but because she is un-hateable. How can you hate someone like her? How could you not love her?

"He does," she removes her head from my cheats and looks at me. "He hates me because I almost ruined our family with the AJ thing, and he's going to hate me even more if I fail in college and life. I have to be perfect; he wants me to be perfect Ryder and-, and, I'm not perfect," she weeps. "What if I mess up? How can I be perfect? I don't know how to be. I-"

She's starting to freak out, and I place both of my hands on the side of her face forcing her to look at me and calm down. "Jayda, you don't have to be perfect at anything. Okay,"

"I wish it were that simple," she pulls away and then stands up. "My dad basically just said he's going to disown me if I ever failed!!" her hands fly in the air. "He doesn't like me; he said that he hopes the baby is nothing like me. He's ashamed of me. I don't know what I'm going to do,"

Why the fuck would he say that to her? Jayda is just now starting to get better mentally, and he comes, and he says shit like that to her. Tearing her down after she's worked so hard to build herself up. 

"Fuck him. What happened to you not caring and doing what you want to do. Standing up for yourself, remember?" I remind her of all the things she promised to do for herself.

"I know. I know. But it's hard, he's my dad, I say rude things to him we don't get along, and some days it's fine, I move past it, but other times it hurts because he is my father and I am his daughter, but we don't have a father-daughter relationship. I hate fighting with him, I hate the fact that we don't get along, and I hate disappointing him," she places her hand on her forehead and rubs it across.

I take her hands in mine, "You can't please everyone. You just have to do your best. And if your best isn't enough for your father, then oh well,"

"Ryder-"

"It doesn't even matter because you're leaving. We have like two months, and then we'll be gone, away from here and this lifestyle," I have never fit into this way of life; I always thought something was wrong with me because I just wasn't able to be like...my brother. I was never able to be Jacob. He made sure to remind me every fucking day that I wasn't good enough, that I would never be good enough, and I wouldn't amount to anything in life, even with our successful parents.

That's another reason why I don't want to take over my father's company and instead just stick with football. I'm good at football; it's the only thing I have. If shit does happen and I can't play anymore, at least it would only affect me; I can take that rather than running my dad's business into the ground.

Taking over my dad's business and then destroying it will only prove Jacob right. He always said that I couldn't do anything right and that I would ruin everything for him and this family.

Jayda stands under the floral archway in the garden, crying still. I walk up behind her. "Jayda. I don't like seeing you crying. Your crying makes me upset. And it makes me more upset because you're crying because someone did something to you. That someone being your father, and I honestly don't care that he is your father, if you don't stop crying right now, I will march back into the party and beat the fuck out of him for making you cry,"

I would do it. Her father would hate me even more. And I guess it would be like inappropriate to fight a grown man, I think. Who cares, and who knows? I don't give a fuck. I will protect her at all cost; I will fight for her until the day I die, and if fighting her father is what I have to do to protect her, then I would do it, and she knows it.

She turns around with a small smile, "You can't fight him,"

"I can. He made you cry, and I'm so fucking mad right now," she laughs, seeing me get this emotional about the situation, "I'm serious,"

"I know,"

"If I go back to that party, I don't know what I'm going to do,"

"Well, let's not go back," she suggests. "I wouldn't make it back in there without having a panic attack. So, let's get out of here!"

"And go where?"

She raises her shoulder, "Anywhere. Just take me away from here, somewhere far away from everyone," she takes my hand. "Please, Ryder,"

Because her lashes are wet, it makes them look longer in length, highlighting the brown in her eyes even more. How could I not say yes? "Come on, let's go,"

...

I hope she likes where I am taking her. It's the only perfect place to take her right now; it's somewhere quiet, secluded, and beautiful. It will bring her some peace in seeing it.

"Mh, this is actually good," she picks the food from the plate of appetizers they were serving at the party before we left. "Spicy but yet very flavorful,"

"Do you know what it is?" if she did, she wouldn't be eating it.

"Nope," she takes another bit. "What is it?"

I shouldn't tell her, but watching her eat it is making me sick, "Nakji-bokkeum," I say the foreign translation. I only know how to pronounce it because my mother was raving about the dish we had to have at the party.

"And that means..."

"Stir-fried octopus,"

She stops chewing and gags covering her mouth. She grabs a napkin and turns her head the opposite way, spitting the food out and drinking some water. "Remind me to never eat anything at your mother functions again," she says, and we both laugh.

I park the car, and then we both get out. We both stand at the front of the vehicle, and she stays silent, looking around. "I lighthouse. You took me to a lighthouse,"

"Yeah," Does she not like it? Maybe I shouldn't have brought her here?

"Not just any lighthouse but the one you painted back at your house; I remember this exact view on the painting,"

I didn't think she would remember this place from the painting I have at my house, she didn't remember the lake, and that's also another thing that I have painted. "Let's go in," she says, excited. I guess taking her here was a good idea.

We walk across the grass and over to the house. The wooden door creaks as she opens it; I haven't been here in like two years, the place still has the rustic old look. The area hasn't been occupied in years. She lifts her dress as we walk up the stairs to the top. That damn dress! It clings her body in all the right places. She doesn't wear dresses much, but when she does, she looks good as fuck in them. I got to get her out of the dress tonight.

She walks on the floorboards taking in the confined room, and then she goes over to the telescope pinned in the window. She looks out of it for a minute or two, looking out towards the ocean. "Do you think mermaids are real?" she asks me.

"No," I respond to her silly question. "There's no such thing,"

"Just because you haven't seen one doesn't mean they don't exist," she counters.

"Have you seen one?" I ask her, and she then tells me a story about how one time she was on Tik Tok and a woman was recording something in the ocean that looked like a mermaid. "So that doesn't mean anything?" People post a whole bunch of stuff on the internet that doesn't mean it is real.

"It does. First of all, it's tik tok if it's on there it must be true. I have learned more on tik-tok than I have in my twelves years of school," she states and then looks back into the scope.

I lean against the wall and fold my arms. She seems much better now, more relaxed, and at ease. Her being better makes me better because now I don't have the urge to beat the fuck out of her father anymore. I'm glad we are moving away soon, so she doesn't have to deal with him as often.

"So," she looks at me and walks closer, "Who else have you brought here?"

Here we go. "No one," I answer. "No one until now. You're the only one,"

"Mhm,"

She steps away, but I grab the side of her arm and pull her back to me, closer than before, placing my hands on her waist and turning her around to the wall. "Do you not believe me?"

"I do, but..."

"But?"

Jayda looks down away from me, "You just know a lot of girls and-"

"What does that have to do with anything?" she doesn't respond; she just keeps her head low, allowing her shyness to take over. I place my hand under her chin and bring her to look up at me. "I'm not in love with any of those girls, never have, never will be. Therefore it doesn't matter who I know; none of those girls are like you, even if they were, it doesn't matter because they just aren't you,"

Doesn't matter what girl I meet or talk to; they aren't her. They aren't this girl standing right in front of me who I am madly in love with. Perhaps love doesn't have a definite meaning; maybe it's more of a connection thing; maybe it isn't so much as to what love means and if the definition of the word is how we feel about whomever but more so who do we think of when thinking of the word.

She rests her hand on the back of my neck and then pulls me down to her level, kissing me on the lips softly. No matter how many times we kiss, I will always feel something new. From the first time our lips touched, I knew it would be forever with her.

She pushes off my suit jacket and then starts unbuttoning my shirt fast, "I need you," she pants. I need her now just as much as she needs me; I snatch the shirt off, and she steps out of her shoes. I pull her zipper down; she takes her arms out the straps and then steps out of the dress. I grab her, and we both lower then lay onto the floor; she lies on top of my shirt spreading her legs for me to rest between them. Our almost naked bodies press together as she deepens the kiss. I lift up, and her lips part as she tries to catch her breath.

I then slowly pull down her underwear, and she places both hands over her face. "Jayda," I take her hands and pull them away from her face. "Don't do that,"

"Sorry," she says, biting her bottom lip.

Seeing her face is the best part of the experience; how dare she cover up one of the best things about her, "You're beautiful," I remind her for the trillionth time.

She smiles and then takes her hand, unbuttoning my pants and pulling down the zipper. I can't believe we're about to do this again. I lean back over her, and we start kissing again. I'm about to slide in but then remember the condom. Damnit. I pull away, and she opens her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"The condom. I-,"

"Do you have one?"

"No. I mean, yeah, there's one in my car, do you-"

"No," she shakes her head. "I'll just take the pill; it's okay,"

I don't think I could ever fuck her with a condom on. I've only ever had her without one; I would go crazy using one on her having that barrier keeping me from feeling all of her.

"Okay," I lean back and kiss her; she spreads her legs, and then I slowly ease into her, her back arches off the floor. She moans in relief, and I dip my head between her neck, kissing her, the skin I have craved to taste ever since I had her at the lake. She's so fucking amazing. Her body is fucking amazing; everything about her is perfect.

Go slow. I remind myself because of the urge I have to take her harder and faster. I would love to, but I have to remind myself that she's new to all of this, and this is only her second time. I circle my hips against her and slide in and out repeatedly and slowly. We kiss sloppily, and then her hands run through my hair as I suck on her neck; she pulls me closer, moaning and panting out loud.

I'm glad we are going slow. I want to savor this moment with her forever. I want what we have now eternally. I groan as her nails dig into my skin, knowing it will leave moon-shaped crescents in me, marks by her and only her.

My thumb presses into her waist as I grip it to steady her against the floor. I need her like this always. Wanting me, craving me knowing that only I can please her like this. Knowing she's mine and will always be mine.

I swear I will kill anyone who looks at her wrong who even thinks about touching her like this. I should have killed Matt. I should of fucking killed him for what he did to her. She doesn't talk about it ever, but I know she's still hurt from what he did and what he tried to do to her.

We look into each other's eyes, and the power of our love beams through,
""You belong to me," I say.

"Only you," she promises me. "I love you," she breathes. "I love you so much,"

"I love you," I reply forthrightly. She's mine; she'll only ever be this way with me. Knowing that she's only ever been with me makes sex with her even more delightful.

I continue sliding in and out of her, still going at a slow pace causing her to get even wetter by the second. I bring her mouth to mine, and our tongues caress. Her body stiffens, and her leg begins to shake. My body goes rigid over top of her, and together, we mold coming at the same time.

We breathe heavily, and I climb off the top of her, lying beside her on my back. "Are you okay?" I turn my head to her. She looks at me and smiles, nodding her head. "Did it hurt?"

She puts her hand on my face, "At first but then no," she plays with my hair pushing it back.

We get back dressed, and then I grab my keys off the floor. "Ryder,"

"Yes,"

"Can we stay here?" she asks.

"Here, up here?"

She nods her head. "Uhm, yeah, I guess, if you want to," I still have our blankets and stuff that we took to the lake in the back of the car. I go downstairs and grab the stuff from the car's trunk and then go back into the lighthouse. We spread the blankets out and then lay down. She lies on my chest, and I rub the small of her back; we talk for a while, but then she falls asleep with her arm around my torso. And I fall asleep watching her peacefully sleep while lying on me.

...

The following day I wake up to find Jayda no longer on or beside me. I slowly get up from the hardwood floor. My back and knees are killing me; it was a bad idea to sleep in here, now I'm sore as fuck; I would've been better off sleeping in my car.

I rub the middle of my back like I'm an old man or something, and then I look out the tiny window from the lighthouse. I spot Jayda standing on the shore close to the beach waters. I leave the lighthouse and then walk over to where she is; I call her name, but she doesn't turn around. When I stand directly beside her, I spot tears rolling down her face. She's crying! Again?! "Why the fuck are you crying?" genuinely confused.

She sniffles and wipes her eyes, "No reason," she tries to walk away, but I grab her hand and stop her.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing," she shakes her head. "I'm just going to miss this,"

"Miss what?"

She stares at me for like thirty seconds and then says, "Just this, this place,"

"We can always come back,"

"Yeah, we could," She's hiding something. She fucking hiding something. I know it. Something is different. Something is off about her. Since I picked her up from the airport, she's been different. Jayda can fool everyone with the bullshit "I'm okay" attitude, but she can't fool me because I see past all of it.

"Thank you for taking me here, Ryder," she says.

I would take her across the fucking world if it was where she wanted to go. As long as I am with her, she's okay, and as long as she is with me, I know I will be okay because together, we're better.

Now that she's in my life, I don't think I could live without her.

I place my hand on the side of her face, "Whatever it is, we will figure it out together," I tell her. "As long as we are together, we'll be fine,"

"We'll be together forever, right?"

"Of course, it's always forever with you," I plant a kiss on her lips, "No matter what,"

I don't know what love means; I just know that when I think of it, I think of her. Every time I look at her, I know I'm going to be with her for the rest of my life. She and I, it's a forever type of thing. Because she is forever my always

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Well that's all for now😭😭😭 Again how are we feeling? Are you all excited? Any theories as to what's going to happen?

Honestly it's bittersweet writing these chapters from Ryders point of view because he loves her so much and Jayda just lying to him sheesh I'm not ready for it to come out. Do you think Ryder will forgive her? Do you think he'll go to New York with her, break up with her or do long distance?

Anyways well that's all for now, I may do some surprise updates we'll see I'm in the final term at school so of course this term harder than the rest after this it's summer and then in august I'll be a senior😭😭😭 I'm not ready for it to be over!!! Still trying to figure out where ima move after high school me and my bestfriend are looking at apartments in Los Angeles I most likely will be going to college out there so yeah

Okay luv you guys make sure to follow the enoughseries ig page for updates and announcements with the series and follow my socials just to keep up with me  links are in bio!

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