Dear Lance,

I didn't bury the memories I've written. Akala mo, ha? Ha ha. Alam ko na, time will allow you to read this and I may not be around that time. I took my memories with me and left you with this letter. I hope you don't mind reading this.

I love you.

I really do. So much, that I wanted to ask God if I could switch with Alyce forever. It's kind of selfish wish though. Never had I imagine myself falling deeply in love with you. I guess, sadyang, kamahal-mahal ka lang siguro. Ha ha. Yeah. It happened. Well, maybe, love is really one of the strangest feeling in the world. Love is a surprise, hindi mo alam kung kailan ka tatamaan at bakit mo siya mahal.

To be honest, hindi ko naman talaga sinasadya na mahalin ka. I have three reasons why I agreed to pretend as Alyce. Una, dahil sa mama ko. I thought, I could gain back my mother's love if I help Alyce. But it didn't, I guess. Pangalawa, I promised to my father before he died that I'll protect Alyce no matter what. Even if it would mean, sacrificing the things I love. Pangatlo, for my father's academy.

And lastly, my underlying reason among of it.

Of course – You.

I wanted to be there for you when Alyce couldn't do it. I don't want to see your disappointed face whenever Alyce couldn't choose you over her dreams. I know how it felt to be left out and unimportant. It's sad. It hurts. I wish, I was Alyce. I wish I could love you as Allysa. I wish, you'll realize that I've always been Allysa when you think that I'm Alyce.

I wish your smile was for me. I wish your warm hugs and sweet kisses are for Allysa. I wish you'll call me by my real name. I wish you were mine Lance. Sana, makita mo ang pagmamahal na ikinubli ni Allysa sa katauhan ng mahal mong si Alyce.

Thank you.

Salamat sa mga masasayang alaala Lance. Even for a short time, you made me so happy. I will forever treasure those memories. Na minsan, minahal ako ng isang Lance del Valle. Na minsan sa buhay ng isang Allysa Alonzo, naranasan niyang maging asawa ng pinakamamahal niyang lalaki. Hindi ko na hihingin ang isa pang extension...okay na ako. Masaya na ako. Sobra.

Lance.

I pray that you will find the woman whom you will fall in love with. I hope that woman will give you all the love you deserve.

And I do hope one day, you'll learn to forgive us.

Kung sakali mang magkita tayo ulit, please pretend that you don't know me. Start anew without Allysa in your memory.

I wouldn't mind.

Goodbye Lance. Live well, okay?

Love,

Allysa Alonzo

NAGISING si Allysa sa isang pamilyar na kanta na mukhang nagmumula sa ibaba. Bumangon siya at napansin ang bahagyang nakaawang na pinto. Napadako ang tingin niya sa wall clock. Alas sais pa lamang ng umaga. Medyo madilim pa rin ang labas dahil umuulan pa rin.

Wise men say... Only fools rush in... But I can't help falling in love with you. Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin... If I can't help falling in love with you?

Bumaba siya ng kama at lumabas ng silid na nakayapak. Sinundan niya ang musika hanggang sa matagpuan niya ang sarili sa loob ng music room. Binati siya ng mga larawang tila nakalutang sa ere. There are so many hang photos on strings. Namangha siya, it was so beautiful. She saw familiar old photos of her way back. Alam niyang siya 'yon. Tandang-tanda pa niya ang mga alalang nagawang makuha ng mga larawan na 'yon.

There was a photo of her on their first date. She looks so pissed at the photo. Natawa siya. Na imbyerna kasi talaga siya sa biglang paghalik ni Lance sa kanya. 'Di niya napansin na nakuhaan na pala siya nito ng picture.

Hinawakan niya 'yon. Doon niya napansin na may caption pala sa likod ng larawan.

Al must have been mad because I suddenly kissed her in public. I should really remind myself not to do it again. Haha. But isn't she the cutest? That was also my first kiss. Shsh! She's so beautiful. I just can't help falling in love with her... and kiss her!

Really? It was Lance's first kiss? Gosh. So I was really his first kiss? Hindi niya mapigilan ang sarili na mapangiti.

Then there this picture of them together. They were at the airport. Wala si Alyce nang mga panahon na 'yon. Nasa Korea si Alyce para sa isang musical concert kung saan kasama ito. One week itong mawawala for practice at ang alam ni Lance ay bumalik na ito ng Pilipinas para makasama ito.

But that was one of Alyce's lies, dahil sa huli, siya pa rin ang nag sub para rito. Alyce couldn't come home because she has special solo performance with one of the famous Korean pianist in the world. She couldn't trade it with anything else. She needs to practice for the concert.

They were hugging each other in the photo. Mukhang iba ang kumuha nun. Lance was tearyedyed in the photo. Naiyak din siya nang mga oras na 'yon. Of course, she was already in love with him. It broke her heart seeing him like that. She also missed him so much.

I thought I'm not gonna see you this year. I cried. Damn, I just missed you so much. I was so sad knowing you're still in Korea, but thank you for coming home for me. I love you Al. Thank you. I promise, I'll make it up to you.

Napunta siya sa mga larawan niya noong high school pa siya. Hindi niya alam kung bakit meron nun si Lance. Alam niyang, 'yon ay mga larawan na hindi siya nagpapanggap na Alyce. Biglang kumabog nang mabilis ang puso niya. Why?

Sa isang larawan, tulala siya at nasa malayo ang tingin habang nakaupo sa bench. Nililipad ang mahaba niyang buhok at may band aid pa sa pisngi. Nakuha niya 'yon nang kalmutin siya ng pusang gala na sinubukan niya pang pakainin pero tin-traydor lang siya pagkatapos.

I know you're Allysa. I saw Alyce went to the music room earlier. The truth is, I couldn't really distinguish your differences. Sa mata ko, iisa lang kayo. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, it's kind of weird, actually. Maybe because, we haven't talk yet or we haven't spend a time to know you. I shouldn't be feeling like this, but why do I feel like, you're really Alyce?

Sa sumunod na larawan, nakangiti siya, which she don't really often do before. Ngumingiti lang siya kapag mag-isa siya. She has this bright smile while eating her ice pop. Nakatingala sa kanya 'yong puting pusang gala na kumalmot sa kanya noon. She remembers having that cat as her companion sa tuwing break o nagka-cutting class siya.

Was Lance, stalking her?

First time kong makita ang ngiti mo Allysa. You should smile more often. Why are you always alone? Okay lang ba sa'yo na maging kaibigan ako? Pero baka mainis ka lang. Tuwing magkasama kami ni Alyce lagi ka na lang kasing galit na para bang inaagaw ko sa'yo si Alyce. Hindi mo yata ako gusto. I wish you'll give me the chance to get to know you better. I'm not following you, nagkataon lang na lagi kang tambay sa likod ng chapel. Alam kong ikaw 'yan, wala si Alyce, nasa Japan for her competition.

Nangilid ang mga luha sa kanyang mga mata. Bwesit ka! Nakikilala mo naman pala ako kapag alam mong wala si Alyce. Pero bakit pinag-aaksayahan siya ng film ni Lance? Naalala niyang madalas nitong dalhin ang camera nito sa school at napapansin niyang panay ang kuha nito ng mga larawan sa mga subjects na nakakakuha ng atensyon nito.

Lance would try to talk to her but she would always shrug him off before he can even compose his first sentence. Nang mga panahon na 'yon, mas pinili niyang ilayo ang sarili sa mga taong malapit kay Alyce. She didn't have any friends at all.

Sa isang larawan, ay umiiyak siya. She was crying that day because of her mother. Nagalit ang mama nila nang masira niya ang dress ni Alyce sa susuotin sana nito para sa piano competition nito sa Korea. Sinukat lang naman niya 'yon dahil nagandahan siya. Nainggit siya kay Alyce. Gusto niya rin sanang sumali doon pero alam niyang magagalit lang ang mama niya.

Lalapitan sana kita pero 'di ko magawa. I'm actually so confused right now. Bakit ba lagi kitang gustong makita? Why does my heart skips a beat whenever I see you in your hideout? Tila ba sa likod ng chapel ng eskwelahan natin, doon lang ako sigurado na ikaw nga 'yan at hindi si Alyce. This is wrong, si Alyce ang girlfriend ko. Si Alyce ang mahal ko. Pero bakit, iginigiit ng mga mata ko na ikaw 'yon? Bakit ba, iba ang pintig ng puso ko sa tuwing nakikita kita dito? Seeing you like this, just broke my heart. I shouldn't be feeling like this, Al. This would hurt Alyce. Damn, I'm so confused. Why am I feeling like this?

Naigala niya ang mga mata sa iba pang larawan. Lahat ng mga 'yon ay mukha niya. Mukha nilang dalawa ni Lance. Hindi niya alam kung bakit, pero kahit hindi pa niya nababasa ang lahat ng mga nakasulat sa likod ng mga larawan na 'yon ay hindi niya mapigilan ang patuloy na pagdaloy ng kanyang mga luha.

Tila ba, may mga brasong nakayakap sa kanya at inaalo siya. Tinutunaw ang puso niya sa katotohanang, hindi totoong hindi siya napapansin ni Lance noon. Kilala siya nito. God! Nakilala siya nito. Hindi niya inasahan ang mga 'yon mula rito.

Natutop niya ang bibig habang patuloy pa rin sa pag-iyak.

"You've always been pretending to be Alyce." Lance whispered in her ear. Yumakap ang mga braso nito sa kanyang baywang. "You can now stop pretending to be her, Allysa. You don't need to be someone else anymore."

Naibaba niya ang kamay at lalo lamang napaiyak. Pumihit siya paharap dito nang hindi ito tinitignan. She immediately buried her face on his chest and cry her heart out. Ramdam na ramdam niya ang pagyugyog ng mga balikat niya sa sobrang pag-iyak. Humigpit ang yakap niya rito.

"I know this is a bit late. I'm sorry Allysa. I'm sorry for being a coward. I've been denying my feelings for you. Inisip ko na mali 'yon. Alyce was my girlfriend. Sa kanya dapat ako mag-focus. My heart should only be hers. The truth is, I actually fell in love with you but I thought you were Alyce. It was you, right? Ikaw ang babaeng tumugtog ng Can't Help Falling In Love With You sa music room noon."

She nodded on his chest.

Naramdaman niya ang masuyong paghagod nito sa kanyang buhok.

"Alyce told me everything. And I know now why I always get confused with the two of you. I realized, that while you're pretending to be Alyce. Alyce was also busy pretending to be you. Ending, pareho kayong naging Allysa sa mga mata at puso ko. I was mad not only with you and Alyce but to myself as well. I tried my best to focus my attention to Alyce. Pinaniwalaan ko ang lahat ng mga hinabing kwento ni Alyce tungkol sa'yo. Dahil doon, mas lalo kong inilayo ang sarili sa'yo. Hindi ko na inabala ang sarili na bigyan ka ng pagkakataon para ipagtanggol ang sarili mo o ang kilalanin ang totoong ikaw."

"I was mad and upset of Alyce kaya nasabi ko sa'yo ang mga masasakit na mga salitang 'yon. I felt betrayed. Kinalimutan kita. Lumayo ako sa'yo. Hinayaan ko ang sarili ko na kalimutan ang espesyal na pagtingin ko para sa'yo. I wanted to be a perfect boyfriend for Alyce. Hindi ako naging clingy na boyfriend sa kanya. I did not demand for her time dahil alam ko gaano ka importante sa kanya ang mga pangarap niya. I let her chase her dreams. Because I know, that will make her happier."

"Sa ilang beses na pag-postpone niya sa kasal namin, 'di niya kailanman narinig sa akin na nag-reklamo ako. I adjusted for her so she'll feel more comfortable and free. I did that to show how I supported her dreams. It was the right thing to do. Dahil 'di naman nagkulang si Alyce sa relasyon namin. Nagagawa pa rin niyang makipagkita sa akin. Nagagawa pa rin niyang maglaan ng oras para makasama ako kahit sobrang busy niya. Mahirap ang long distance relationship pero kinaya naming pareho 'yon... o sa ibang salita, kinaya namin 'yon dahil sa'yo. After my four year course in business sa Canada, nag masters agad ako. She even encourage me to take photography classes –"

"Ako 'yong nagsabi na mag-photography classes ka." Amin niya.

Natawa ito. "I know, she seemed clueless when I told her about my photography class but I guess, sanay na si Alyce na sumabay sa mga ganoong sitwasyon. Knowing her sister Allysa, alam na nito na ikaw ang nagsabi nun sa akin. You really knew how to act well, Allysa. Sa galing mo, si Alyce na ang nag-adjust sa'yo."

Lance chuckled.

"I didn't runaway. I needed more time to prepare all of these, but I've been following you just to make sure you're safe and okay. Those lunchboxes are mine. Ako ang personal na gumagawa nun at iniiwan ko 'yon sa labas ng pinto ng unit mo. Noong na wrong dial ka, I was about to call you... pero 'yon nga, naunahan mo ako. I was asking God for a sign and HE gave me you. I'm sorry kung sobrang na late ako. Nasiraan ako ng sasakyan sa gitna ng daan. But it didn't matter anymore, I'm still seeing you no matter what. And I'm glad, I did."

Hinawakan nito ang magkabilang balikat niya at bahagya siyang inilayo para matignan siya sa mga mata. Lance has this smile on his face. She saw the love she had been wishing to see in his eyes. It made her more emotional. She can't help her tears.

His hand reached her face and gently wiped the tears on her face with his thumb.

"The world would only be unfair if I lose you again, Allysa." Pagpapatuloy pa nito.

Lumamlam ang ekspresyon ng mukha nito. She suddenly saw tears in his eyes. It broke her heart. Bumaba ang kamay nito para hawakan ang isang kamay niya. He then wrapped his other hand on her waist and pulled her closer to his body. Mahina siyang isinayaw ni Lance kasabay ng musikang nagtagpo sa kanilang dalawa.

Take my hand. Take my whole life, too. For I can't help falling in love with you.

"S-So don't go," gumaralgal ang boses nito. "Please don't pretend that you don't love me anymore, Allysa. Give me another chance. I love you. Mahal na mahal kita. I tried my best to live well, because that's what you want me to do. I wish I could love another woman, but how can I do that when every time I wake up, I always found myself missing you."

"Lance?"

"I've had enough of lies, but I can't forget about you. I can't help falling in love with you. I'm going crazy. Please, don't marry that guy. I promise to be a good husband and a father. Babawiin ko ang mga panahong nasaktan kita. Please, just give me another chance." Lance hugged her tight while crying. "Please..."

Tumigil din ito sa pagsayaw sa kanya.

Hindi niya maintindihan kung sino ang tinutukoy nitong pakakasalan niya? Wala naman siya natatandaan na may pinangakuan siyang kasal. But it doesn't matter. Lance loves her. Sapat na 'yon para sa kanya. Aarte pa ba siya?

"Allow me to make everything right this time."

"Let's make it righ this time, Lance." Sagot niya. "Mahal na mahal din kita."

Kumalas ito sa pagkakayakap sa kanya. Lance cupped her face. Masayang-masaya itong tinitigan siya. She can't help but return the smile he's giving her. God, sobrang mahal ko ang taong 'to. Nangilid na naman ang mga luha niya sa mga mata. Thank you Lord. Thank you for giving us another chance. Hinawakan niya ang kamay nito na nakahawak sa mukha niya.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Bumaba ang mukha nito sa kanyang mukha at siniil siya ng halik sa labi. She missed this. Wala na nga yata siyang mahihiling pa ng mga oras na 'yon. Everything was already perfect.

Thank you Lance.

When you thought life was heartless, but then, life gives you another reason to live. I guess, life was just a little playful and bored. But still, kind enough to repay your hard work and sacrifices. Hindi na rin masama.