"Bex, Hayden, wake your lazy asses up. I'm hungry and we're all ready to go home. " Skylar's whiny voice carries through the thick door. My eyes snap open as her fist connects with the door again. Resulting in another loud thud echoing throughout the room.

"Hayden, get off of me and get dressed!" I hiss, trying to keep my voice low so no one else hears me. I'm drenched in sweat from the weight of his bare body pressed against me.

"Ugh," he grumbles as I shove his arm off of me, jumping up out of bed completely naked. Half asleep, I rush around, gathering my clothes off of the floor. Picking my sweatpants up, I attempt to shake the wrinkles out of them before sliding them on. Not caring what I look like, I snatch up the first t-shirt I see from the floor. I'm not in the mood to put my panties or bra on, so I wad them up, tossing them into my open suitcase.

My eyes rake over his body, the sunlight bouncing off of his tan skin as he sits up. I can tell he's not awake yet, rubbing his eyes and stretching upwards. I'm reassured of our actions from the previous night when he throws the comforter off of him. Seeing him like this in the light brings it all flooding back.

"See something you like?" he asks, catching me red-handed, staring at him. Not waiting for an answer, he grabs his pants off of the floor, not caring about the wrinkles. He throws them on, also opting not to wear underwear this morning. Despite him catching me, I can't help but continue staring at him. Even when he's not aroused, he's still quite large. I have to tear my eyes away from him as he shimmies his pants up over his hips. I have to stop myself from starting something we can't finish. Another loud knock disturbs my naughty thoughts. Annoyed, Hayden storms over to the door, throwing it open.

"What the hell" Skylar barks as soon the door opens wide enough for her to come barging through.

"I was in the bathroom and sleeping beauty over there wouldn't get up," I joked weakly, pointing over to Hayden. Who now was still frantically searching for a shirt. Skylar's eyes travel all around the room. Suddenly they grow wider, a weird expression etched across her face.

"Why is only one bed messed up? And are you wearing his shirt?" she questions me, pointing towards my chest. I glance down quickly, realizing my mistake. I had grabbed his shirt instead of mine. No wonder he is still sitting on the bed with his bare chest out. Realizing what shirt I had grabbed, I moved my hands down, trying to cover up the nut stains along the bottom. A sudden feeling of disgust washes over me. I hadn't even thought about us cleaning ourselves until that exact moment.

"Girl, you know I make my bed as soon as I wake up," I mumble, playing it off. It's not a lie. I make my bed at the dorm every day. I'm used to doing it. That was one rule my mother insisted I follow every day.

"Plus, last night I took a shower. When I got out, he was sleeping. I didn't want to wake him so I grabbed something and threw it on in the dark," I inform her, shrugging my shoulders. I'm acting cool on the outside, but inside I'm freaking out. I hope she believes me. It seems like a logical enough explanation to me. Last night I didn't have any regrets, but now that she is standing in front of me, I can't help but feel guilty.

"I guess, whatever. Grab your stuff and let's go. I'm starving," she huffs. Her hand coming to a rest on her hip.

"Also, give me your keys so we can start loading everything up," she demands. Her eyes glued in Hayden's direction.

He's given up on finding his shirt as he points over to where his keys are on the nightstand. Without saying another word, she snatches them up and bolts out the door.

It's hard to ignore the awkwardness in the air between us while packing the rest of our belongings up. When we reach the car, they're already seated with everything crammed in the trunk.

The ride back to campus is also extremely quiet. Everyone seems to be in their own little worlds. Fingers crossed, they're all worn out from the trip, and not that anyone suspects anything. I'm thankful for the silence. I need this quiet time to reflect on my decisions. Time to figure out what to say to Hayden. He hasn't spoken much to me since we woke up this morning. I don't know how he feels about it. He probably regrets it. Or perhaps it was another random hook-up to him. I'm sitting here stressing over it and it's no big deal to him.

"Drop us all off over at Hope's Please. We have a huge biology experiment to finish before tomorrow," Sky demands. Only breaking the silence as soon as we pull onto campus. She digs through her bag, and the sound of random items clanging together fills the car. I watch through the mirror as she pulls out a small brush and runs it through her hair.

"Hey Bex, do you want to come hang out with us?" Skylar asks as the car enters through the campus apartment gates. She tosses the brush back into her bag while digging a set of keys out with her other hand.

"No, thanks. I have an English paper due tomorrow I have to finish. I've been neglecting it all week. Next time though, I promise," I tell her, attempting to twist my body around in the seat to look at her before she climbs out.

Her eyes roll back in her head as she smirks at me. She always complains I spend too much time studying. If she had the choice, I'd probably be getting straight F's at the moment. I'm amazed at how she maintains top grades. I rarely ever see her with a book in her hand.

"Well, I guess. Bye, you guys. I'll see you in a little," she yells over her shoulder. The sound of her suitcase clanging fills the air as she takes it out of the car and smacks it against the door. We watch as they all lug their luggage up the stairs behind them.

"Don't you think we should talk about last night?" Hayden asks when we pull away. Once again, catching me completely off guard. I guess I wasn't overreacting.

I've been dreading having to be alone with him. I've gone over a million different scenarios, trying to think of what to say to him. As usual, my mind is blank.

"Take me home please, Hayden. What do we even need to talk about?" I whine. My cheeks reddening as my body sinks back into the seat. I want to disappear, to close my eyes and open them in my dorm room all alone.

"What do you mean?" He barks, keeping his eyes on the road. The car jerks as he makes a sharp left turn, pulling into my lot. Upon shifting into park, he seizes the moment to steal a glance in my direction. I can feel his eyes glaring at me.

"Were both adults. We had consensual sex. Shit happens," I snap, trying to avoid eye contact with him. I do not want to have this conversation. It's already bad enough, this whole situation is a mess. I don't need a reminder of what an awful person I am.

The rumbling of the car quiets to a low growl before he shuts the engine off. This is my signal to flee. To escape this car, and avoid this awkward conversation I don't want to be having.

"Look, it was great. I had a lot of fun. And yes, before you even ask, it was worth it. But I have to get this paper done, okay? I have to keep my grades up. I'll see you later," I almost scream at him, attempting to climb out of the car. Without skipping a beat, I grab my bags from the back seat. I don't even wait to hear his response as I try to sprint to the door. I'm not fast enough, though, and he catches up to me.

"Bex," he states firmly, grabbing at my arm. I'm able to slide out of his grasp, open the door, and rush up the steps. I'm almost safely in my room, but before I have time to shut the door fully, he barges in right behind me.

"Are you serious? That's all you have to say," he mutters, aggravated with the whole situation. I choose to ignore him while he walks in circles around the room. His fists balled up, tugging away at his hair like a crazy person.

"What is your deal? You, of all people, should understand where I'm coming from," I hiss, reaching my breaking point. Why the hell does he want to sit here and discuss this?

Stepping back, I maneuver my body, trying to keep my distance from him.

"You sleep with plenty of girls, no strings attached, right?" I snap at him. Not even expecting him to answer. Acting like he isn't in the room, I throw my bag onto the bed. It lands with such a hard enough force that it pops open. My clothes and other belongings spill out across the bed.

He stops pacing, looking over at me. His eyes blazing with an anger I've never seen before.

"What if I don't want it to be that? Maybe I want to keep doing it. I mean, we don't have to have strings. I'd prefer it if we didn't. No one said we're going to get married. Or we can act like it never happened, and that's it. You go your way and I go mine," he rambles, giving me an ultimatum.

I can't believe this is happening to me right now. Three days ago, I was wondering if I was a fling to him, another notch on his belt. Now here he is, trying to make me believe there could be something between us. He doesn't even know me. There are so many things he doesn't know. That he can never know. No one can.

"You don't even know me enough to want that. What do you mean? I'm confused. So we keep fucking, but it doesn't matter if we mess with other people. Is that what you're saying? Without thinking, I blurt out, you don't seem to have any issues sleeping with whomever you want. Whenever you want, regardless of the consequences.

In a split second, his eyes turn from anger to pure rage. Red blotches are now splashed across his cheeks.

"Are you kidding me right now? Look who's talking. For us not knowing each other well enough, you sure are quick to fucking judge someone, aren't you? After everything you confessed to me last night, I don't look at you any differently. But now I see how you view me," he is screaming at me. Spit flying out the corners of his mouth.

At first, his outburst confused me. Now I'm fuming.

Who does he think he is? He's talking to me like he's lost his mind. I'll be damned if he thinks he can talk to me however he wants to.

"What the fuck do you want from me, Hayden? Do you need me to specify that I'm a bitch? That I'm a horrible fucking person with severe daddy issues. Someone who pushes people away because everyone I get close to either dies or leaves me. That yeah, of course, I feel some type of way about you. But it can never go there. Your sister is my best friend, and I have crossed the line with you way too many times already. I refuse to lose her trust," I yell back at him as loud as I can. My cheeks burn with anger.

"I'm fucked up, okay? I can't get close to anyone. Okay, I'm better off by myself." I'm out of breath by the time I finish hollering at him.

"Yea, well guess what, I'm fucked up too. You're not the only one with a past. You just don't care enough to know mine. The only difference between us is I'm willing to try with you. But like you said, it will never happen, right? Don't worry, I get the hint loud and clear this time," he spat. Not even bothering to look at me as he walks out the door, slamming it loudly behind him.

The minute the door closes, my legs turn to jello and I fall to my knees. Once again, completely broke down, allowing myself to let it all out. Why am I such a fuckup? What's wrong with me? Why do I keep doing this to myself repeatedly? No wonder everyone hates me. I am a horrible person.

April's right, I don't deserve this second chance. Balling my body up, I tightly pull my knees up to my chest.

I sit like this for hours in the middle of my room crying like a giant baby. My body rocking back and forth, trying to make the pain stop.