A million thoughts and scenarios are running through my mind. I know I'm not thinking logically, but it doesn't matter. Nothing does anymore. Does it matter if I screw up my friendship with Sky now or later? Because unfortunately, it will happen, there's no denying that fact. I guess I should have a little fun before it all comes crashing down around me. Besides, if he doesn't tell anyone, our secrets are safe.

Calming myself down, I wipe the remaining tears from my eyes. Hayden remains seated beside me, his gaze now focused on the floor. Of course, looking anywhere beside me. Why did I even think things would be different? Only now I won't feel so guilty about using him for my gain. It isn't like he even cares. He didn't even want me last time.

Watching him sit there, staring off into space, excites me. It's like a game. My imagination is in overdrive, picturing all the dirty things I want to do to him. The more upset I am, the hornier I become. I can't explain it. I wish I could understand it, to make it stop. But I can't, I'm addicted to it.

Before I give myself too much time to think about what I'm doing or the consequences, I pounce. Catching him off guard gives me the upper hand.

I promptly climbed into his lap, shoving him backward onto the bed. Before he has time to react or say a word, crashing my lips against his. Like every other time, there's a small electric spark the minute our lips touch. He surprisingly doesn't resist. Instead, he kisses me back.

All my built-up pain and sexual frustrations are stewing inside of me, pushing me closer to the edge. I need to do this. I have to do this. And not the sexual games he has teased me with before. I want him to caress me, kiss me, and fuck me. I need to feel him inside of me. He is the only person I want right now. Only he can make me forget temporarily where I am and who I am.

I'm relieved when he doesn't fight me while sitting up to remove his shirt. He even assists me by wiggling his body to make the whole removal process easier. The oil light casts an eerie shadow across his torso, causing his skin to shimmer in the dim lighting. My fingers trace the lining of his tattoos. I lean down, replacing the finger I had been using with my tongue. Taking my time, I lick up his chest, along his neck, and continue up over his chin. I pause briefly before swiping my tongue across his lips.

While doing this, he places his hands firmly on my hips. Before easing them up my shirt. They snake their way up my sides, rubbing circles across my back. My body arches in response to his touch. I smile sheepishly at him when his fingers slide across the backside of my bra.

I can't help but think how he must have done this plenty of times as his fingers work to unclasp my bra. It doesn't take long to feel the loosening of my cups. We work together to slide one strap down. Allowing him to pull it out with ease, tossing it to the side.

Thoughts of him being intimate with another female are trying to creep into my mind. But I shut it down, blocking everything out of my mind except for him. I want him to want me the way I do him. And I know what to do.

Maneuvering my body, I'm able to position myself directly on top of his growing bulge. Wanting to tease him a little, I roll my hips, bouncing my ass. He grows larger in response to this. Which is exactly what I wanted. I smile to myself, knowing I excite him. I want him now more than ever.

I ease my upper body lower. While continuing to grind against him.

My tongue once again trails along his chest. Only this time choosing to go in the opposite direction towards his belly button. I continue licking and tasting him working my way down. My fingers fumble as I rush to undo his belt buckle. Ripping it out of his pants and tossing it carelessly to the ground beside my bra.

I stop for a second, staring up at him. Have you ever experienced the sensation of knowing someone desires you? That they need you. The look in his eyes tells it all. He wants me as bad as I want him. He might even need me, too.

My fingers are shaking as I struggle to undo the button on his pants. Finally succeeding, then taking my time to unzip them.

He once again helps me. This time lifting his body, allowing me to remove them.

"Your turn," he teases, motioning towards mine. I bite my lip, glancing down at the grey joggers I'm wearing.

"Okay, no problem," I smirk, hovering up above him long enough to slide them down over my ass. Without giving him a chance to help, I pull one leg out, followed by the other. Then once again tossing them over my shoulder, not even caring where they land.

"There, you happy now?" I ask, sitting back down on him. The thin amount of material between us intensifies my urges. I'm becoming more and more worked up as I stroke him through his boxers. It excites me to watch his bulge growing under my touch. It makes me feel like I'm in control. I can do whatever I want.

My fingers trace along the top of his boxers. His body stiffens in response to me sliding my hand into his boxers. He lets out a low moan of satisfaction as I take hold of him, stroking and squeezing gently.

His eyes close.

He's surprisingly way bigger than I anticipated. While his eyes remain closed, I take full advantage of the situation. Bending down, I open my mouth, taking his cock in. I try to fit as much into my mouth as I can, sucking harder and faster. I want to savor every inch of him. He tastes as good as I had imagined. I remember the first day I saw him standing in my dorm room. I knew right then.

I'm surprised when he takes hold of my arms, pulling me down to him. Instantly smashing his lips against mine. Kissing him in itself is addicting. I can't get enough of how his lips feel, so soft and plump. Every single move my hips make, he's matching. The large bulge in his pants rubbing against my clit. I can feel the warmth of my juices soaking through the sheer silky material of my panties.

"You sure you want to do this" he pants, breaking our kiss. His breathing heavy and labored. I can tell he's getting worked up. I'm getting to him.

"Shhh don't talk. Just live in this moment," I whisper, pressing my finger to his lips.

Then shifting my body slightly to slide out of my panties. The only thing standing between us now is his boxers.

"Come on, don't chicken out on me now. It's your turn," I tease him, playfully tugging on the leg of his boxers. I sit back, allowing him the opportunity to remove them. He pauses for a minute, contemplating his next move. I smile as he tugs at them, pulling them down. Now there is nothing in the way. We're skin-to-skin.

"You ready? I need this Hayden Please," I beg, straddling back over him. I stare down at him, my eyes pleading with him, practically begging for him to take me. Not caring how pathetic I am, or look.

I'm desperate. My body is yearning for him to be inside of me. I lift my hips, helping to guide him inside of me. Placing his hands on my hips, he shifts beneath me, allowing him easier access.

The pain as he thrusts into me for the first time sends chills up my spine. I have to stifle a loud moan that is trying to escape. Rolling my hips several times helps to guide him fully in. I can barely contain myself, as he stuffs me entirely.

His cock fits perfectly. I moan as my pussy walls snug firmly against his manhood. He uses his muscular arms to pin me closer to him when I attempt to pull back. It's like he can read my mind, mirroring every move I make. Were one. I'm lost in an extreme feeling of ecstasy. This is exactly what I needed. I'm so high right now. All my pain disappears as I ride him harder and faster. My body has a mind of its own raising up, then slamming back down onto him.

His hands stay planted in place on my hips, guiding me. My sexual urges intensify as he squeezes me, digging his nails into my hips. A tiny trickle of blood escapes from a small puncture wound.

The pain from the cut intensifies my pleasure.

"Take me. I'm yours," I whisper into his ear. Before softly nibbling at his earlobe. Taking it into my mouth, sucking on it. Both of us are now a hot mess. Drenched in each other's sweat. Our body fluids mix into a little pool where our bodies collide. He kisses me once more, using this as an advantage to flip me over, pinning me beneath him.

"Now who's in control?" he teases, kissing me from my forehead down my cheek. Once again, landing a sloppy kiss on my lips. He pumps in and out of me a few times while maintaining our passionate kiss. Without warning, he pulls out of me, making me feel suddenly empty. Grabbing me by my shoulders, he flips me again. This time I'm face down on the bed.

"You told me you're mine. So that means I can do whatever I want, right?" He asks, kissing the back of my neck. I can feel him still hard, rubbing against me from behind. His sweat drops onto my bare back.

"Yes," I mumbled, struggling to get the word out before another round of moans take over. My body tenses as his mouth connects with my skin, kissing and nibbling down my back. Taking one of his hands, he grabs my hair, wrapping it into his fist, and using it to pull me backward towards him.

With his free hand, he massages my tits. Easy at first, then forcefully applying more pressure. His fingers teasingly play around my nipples before pinching them. At the same time, continuing to suck on my neck.

I pull away, arching my back, which allows him full access to reenter me.

Reading the hint, he places his finger inside of me. While thrusting in and out, he slides another one in. The sound of my juices sloshing around with each stroke is satisfying. I'm surprised when he drops down face-first. Between his fingers and tongue flicking against my clit, I'm more aroused than ever.

I manage to utter, "Oh my God," as he skillfully uses his tongue to pleasure both my clit and penetrate me. My legs are shaking. Fist clenching the sheets, bawling them up. A scream erupts from my lips as he sucks my juices out of me. Then it stops.

Before I can even catch my breath, he slams back into me. Somehow feeling deeper than before. I can feel every inch of him slamming in and out of me. His body pounding up against me. He yanks harder on my hair, entangling it in his fist. The sharp piercing pain I endure as he slaps me across the ass is driving me insane. He thrusts deeper and harder. I can't explain it, but somehow it feels like he is about to burst out of me into my stomach.

I don't know how much longer I can last. The pressure is building. I know it's almost time. My stomach clenches and I sense it's coming. We both release at the same time. A puddle of our juices pools out onto the bed beneath us. He collapses onto my back. We're both a hot, sticky disaster.

After a few minutes of heavy breathing, he rolls off of me, grabbing his dirty shirt so that we can both wipe off.

"I feel like I need a shower, but I don't want to get up," I laugh, tossing his used shirt onto the floor.

"Yeah, I know that feeling," he mumbles, exhausted. Even after all that, he still looks perfect lying on the bed, his body soaked in perspiration.

Deciding against getting up, I snuggle up next to him. With little effort pulling the comforter up over our exposed bodies. Being here lying with him skin to skin, I'm momentarily relaxed. It feels like a small weight has lifted off of me. Only one, though. I still have a whole pile to lose.

He reaches over me, switching the light off, throwing us into complete darkness.

Seconds later, Hayden's snores break the silence. Not wanting to wake him, I place a single kiss on his lips.

"Thank you," I whisper to him before my eyes flutter closed and my mind shuts down. For once, I'm not scared to sleep. All my nightmares are on pause, pushed towards the back of my mind. They're temporarily forgotten, at least for the moment. Tomorrow is going to be interesting. But for now, it's perfect. If only I could stay in this moment forever.