The light sneaking in from beneath the curtains shines across my face, waking me up. I attempt to sit up, but Hayden's weight makes it difficult. His arm wrapped tightly around my waist, pinning me down. I'm drenched in sweat from his excessive body heat. This whole situation feels weird. I'm not used to waking up next to someone else.

"Hayden, wake up, please" I beg, nudging him in the ribs. A part of me longs for us to stay like this all day, but I know we can't. Skylar can walk in at any minute and we don't need that. I don't feel like explaining myself and my reasonings to her right now. It's nobody's business but mine. And honestly, after he brushed me off last night, my self-esteem isn't the greatest. It isn't like he's a conquest I can brag about. If he were I would have failed.

"Hayden, get up," I moan louder than before. I'm becoming more and more aggravated, thinking about his rejection. Who does he think he is? Does he think he's too good for me? Or is it me? Does he think I'm not pretty enough? Or worse, does he think I'm a whore?

He finally starts to stir, barely opening his eyes.

"You're pretty annoying in the mornings. Did you know that?" he whines, pulling the pillow over his face.

"Shut up," I laugh, smashing the pillow against his face. "You're not that pleasant either, by the way," I push down a little harder pressing it against his mouth. Using all my strength, I slide my body from beneath his weight. His arm drops heavily back onto the bed with a dull thud. Slipping out of bed, I grab my shower caddy and a towel. He must be in a deep sleep, not budging when I open the door.

I'm relieved there isn't anyone in here yet. I can shower in privacy. Something I have rarely gotten to experience since moving here. That's probably one of the few things I miss about being home.

Being one of the first ones here the hot water kicks on immediately. Enjoying the heat from the water, I relax, taking my time. The water kneads against my skin, like thousands of tiny fingers drumming against me.  I lose track of time, shutting off the water, and grabbing my towel. Looking down I smile, my skin has pruned, wrinkling from the heat. It brings back memories of being a kid. I loved taking long, hot bubble baths and seeing my skin wrinkle. My Nana used to say if you're not pruned when you get out, go back in you aren't clean enough.

Today must be my lucky day. The shower room is still empty as l step out, wrapping my towel around my damp body. I always have to use two towels. One is for my body and the other for my hair. I love not having to fight April over towels anymore. She never would put them in the hamper to be washed. Instead, she would pile them up in her room, hoarding them. I would have to go towel hunting every time I wanted to shower. And half the time they weren't clean, already used by her. I hated it. Surprisingly, I only see two chatty petite brunettes on my way back to my room. They don't even glance in my direction as we pass.

Hayden is sitting on the end of the bed, stretching when I enter. Both of his arms are lifted straight above his head. His inked bare chest flexes as he twists side to side. I almost lose my grip on the towel watching him. Even waking up he is sexy.

His eyes widen, catching sight of me standing half-naked in the doorway.

"You know the drill, turn around," I warn him, shooting him a death glance. My fingers grasp the towel tighter around my damp body, before darting across the room.

"No, that's stupid and pointless. I know what you look like so I'm not turning around," he states firmly, sitting back on the bed. His body leaned against the headboard with his legs stretched out, folding his arms in front of him.

"You are such an ass. And you wonder why people think you're a dick?" I mouth quietly, not wanting to start an argument. Wanting to make sure he doesn't see my scar in the light I have a plan. Watching him I slide my underwear and pants under my towel, keeping it around me I pull them up.  Next, I fasten my bra on over it. Making my last move, I throw my shirt over my head, finally ripping the towel from beneath it. 

"Aren't you clever" he pouts, obviously not expecting that.

"Here's your shirt smart ass," I mumble, bending down, grabbing his shirt, and wadding it up into a ball. I try to be slick, tossing it at his head, but he catches it in the air before it can hit him. Unwading it, he shakes the wrinkles out before putting it on.

"Well, I guess I need to get going. I have a lot to do today, and it won't get done if I don't. Besides you're not very pleasant in the mornings, pretty grouchy actually" he says, bending over to slide his slides on. "What you know I'm right" he smiles, standing and walking toward me.

"Boy, shut up. I am not grouchy in the morning unless I have a reason to be" I hint, giving him a quick jab with my elbow. Pretending to be injured, he snaps up, grabbing my arm before I have a chance to hit him again. I inhale sharply, biting down on my lower lip.

"Do you know how sexy you look when you do that? It drives me crazy" he purrs, bringing me towards him, wrapping his muscular arms around me from behind. I lean into him as he shifts his hips, grinding against me.

"Too bad someone has to be in such a bad mood. Or we could've had some fun," he coos. Once again, kissing my neck. "But since I'm leaving I guess I'll be seeing you around then," he whines, spinning me around. His lips crash against mine. I notice he still tastes sweet even when he first wakes up. The moment his lips leave mine, I feel empty. My body pines for him, watching him gather his belongings. I know he has to go, but I don't want him to. 

Plopping down on the bed, I watch him walk to the door, nodding in my direction, before leaving.  I take a deep breath, leaning back against the wall for support. Finally, being alone, I'm able to gather my thoughts. What was I thinking? I can't keep doing this. It's wrong. Skylar is my best friend here. My only friend, unless you count Hope. And something tells me she wouldn't have much to do with me if it wasn't for Sky. I mean, I know it's not going anywhere with Hayden. For one, he's a man whore and I'm not going to be another notch on his belt. I can't be mad about that though. I used to be the same way. Sometimes I would wake up the next morning not even knowing the guy's name lying beside me. For two, neither of us has even mentioned liking the other one, unless you count my sexual fantasies. We don't even know each other. Neither of us has made any attempt to learn about the other. The only thing he knows about me is my nickname. And that I'm some easy girl who has weird night terrors.

After last night I doubt he even wants me sexually. I think my sexual urges might only be one-sided.  Who knows, maybe he's acting out of pity for me. He probably thinks I'm too damaged and scarred for anyone else to want me. He wouldn't be the first guy that's done that, sleeping with me because they felt sorry.

And the third reason is because I'm here to better myself. To turn my life around. Which does not include having a hidden sexual relationship with my roommate's brother.Not to mention the fact my mom would kill me if she knew I was slipping into old habits. I've hurt her so much in the past. It's no wonder she was eager to get rid of me. Being gone, I'm one less thing she has to worry about.

Hayden definitely wouldn't fit into one of her categories. She would never classify him as suitable. His tattoos alone would drive her away. She doesn't believe in marking your body with ink or piercings. She had a heart attack when I got my ears pierced. My dad took me for my twelfth birthday without telling her. She's still probably not over that. Now that I'm thinking about it, none of the guys I've dated were up to her standards. Except if you count Zane, and that's still a long stretch.

I don't know why I do these things to myself. It's almost like I'm used to failing, so I automatically set myself up for it. Maybe my old therapist was right when she diagnosed me with self-sabotaging behaviors. It's one of the many perks that come along with being Bipolar. I need to find something to distract myself with before I go nuts.

Getting myself together, I settle on cleaning the room. Even with me freshly making my bed, it still isn't as nice as hers. You can't tell by looking at it that Hayden laid on it. Turning the radio on helps to drown out my thoughts, motivating me to keep cleaning. I hadn't realized what a mess we had made until now. I see why he called us slobs last night. Picking up several articles of clothing, I sniff them before tossing them into the hamper. Moving on I pack up Sky's makeup, organizing them in her caboodle. She has more makeup than anyone I know. It was everywhere, on the desk, the floor, and some had rolled under the bed. Compared to hers, it takes me no time to clean mine up. 

Looking around at my hard work there's only one thing left to do. Struggling, I drag the portable vacuum out of the closet. My nana had given it to me a couple of years ago. Surprisingly, I've only used it a handful of times. At home, we had hardwood floors and my mom hated rugs, she considered them death traps. The only room she allowed them in were bedrooms. That was even an argument sometimes.

I'm amazed at how easily the vacuum glides over the giant fluffy black rug in the middle of the room. Deciding to be lazy I vacuum over the tiled parts of the floors, rather than sweeping. I'm so absorbed in cleaning that I don't notice Skylar walking in, followed by another girl.

"Hey, Bex! Thanks, girl, but you didn't have to clean my side. I would have done it," she says, looking around the room, surprised.

"It's no big deal. I was bored," I answered while reorganizing my books.

"You remember Sam from the bonfire, don't you?" Skylar asks nodding to the side. I look up,  finally realizing someone else is with her. Of course, I remember her, unfortunately. She's the rude chick that kept giving me evil looks that evening. Great, just great.

"Yeah, I remember," mumbling sarcastically, attempting to use one of my mom's fake smiles. She stares back at me with no reaction. You would think I had grown an extra head, the way she's eyeing me. Ignoring me, she walks over sitting down on Skylar's bed. I'm glad she chose hers and not mine. I don't want her dirty ass sitting where I lay my head. 

"So what's up with your sexy ass brother? Are you ever going to put a good word in for me? I saw him the other day and he couldn't keep his eyes off me. I know he wants me, he's just playing hard to get" Sam whines, putting her feet on the bed, and allowing Sky to retrieve her mat from under it.

Sky doesn't answer. Instead, rolling her eyes in response, ignoring her comment. After laying her mat down and spreading it out, she lowers herself into the splits. My groin hurts watching her. I've never been flexible like that. I tried gymnastics for a few years but it wasn't for me.

"Come on, girl, you see the way he undresses me with his eyes. He's always eyeing me like I'm a Big Mac" she pleads, trying to sound confident

I watch as she picks at her dirty nails. Large chunks of black nail polish fall from her hands to the floor below. She has no respect for anyone and couldn't care less that I just finished vacuuming. She walked in as I was finishing, she should know better. I already disliked this girl, but now I loathe her. Almost as much as I dislike the nameless blonde bimbo who was hanging all over him. On second thought, I don't know I might dislike Sam more. The thought of her nasty dirty hands on his body makes me nauseous. I genuinely hope that he wouldn't touch her. But then again, who knows? If I listened to all the gossip then he's slept with half the school. According to his sister, he would sleep with anything if it stood still long enough. Well, except me, of course.

I'm thankful no one here knows anything about my past. I can imagine the rumors that would spread. Which once again speaks volumes about me.

"Girl, get over your damn self, please. My brother may be a whore, but if he wanted you, he would have done had you. And I would put money on that," she gasps.

My stomach twists, recalling the memories of last night. The way I threw myself at him. I had acted so desperate and needy. No wonder he didn't want me. His rejection taught me one thing: he doesn't want me.

Sky mumbles as she changes positions, now lying flat on her back. Her arms and legs lifted straight up into the air above her.

"No offense, Sam, but it's no secret that you aren't shy about giving it up, either. So keep dreaming. If you want him so bad tell him. I'm not the messenger. Who knows, you might catch him slipping one day and get lucky," she snaps, still somehow holding the same position."But I highly doubt it," she mumbles harshly. I can tell from her tone that she's done with the conversation.

"No need to be rude, bitch. But I guess I'll have to do that tonight at the bonfire. Watch, he won't be able to resist all this," Sam smirks, motioning towards her upper and lower body.

"Are you going?" Sam sneers, whipping her head around to face me. Now she wants to acknowledge me, ignoring Sky's clear intent to end the conversation. I hadn't planned on going, but now I want to. Bonfires seem to be a pretty big thing around here. Before coming to this school, I had only ever been to a handful. And none of them were like the ones here. They were more like small gatherings of a few friends. Mainly sitting around an oversized fire, having a few beers. Here, there are massive parties with alcohol and people everywhere. I've never seen anything like it. Plus now I want to go and see if Sam has the balls to do what she says. And of course, so I can see Hayden's reaction too.

"Yeah, I think I am. Why is that a problem?" I snap a little harsher than I had intended to. She seems to bring out the inner bitch in me.

"No problem, I was just asking. No need to be all bitchy about it, Bess. Chill," Sam replies, giving me an even more fictitious smile, if possible.

"It sounds like it will be fun. Oh by the way my name is Bex not Bess just to let you know" I snarl, through gritted teeth. I want to smack that false smile off of her smug ugly face.

"Well, it's settled then. We can all go together," Skylar pipes up from the ground. I had forgotten for a second she was here. I sense she's trying to ease the tension in the room. "After I finish my exercises, we can all get ready. It will be fun, a little girl's time. Sound good?" she asks both of us, once again shifting into a new position. This time her body is positioned in a pushup stance.

"Yeah," we both mumble under our breath in union. Neither of us is looking forward to hanging out. Popping in my earbuds I grab the book I've been attempting to read since I got here. Music fills my ears as I lean back against the headboard. I can still feel Sam's beady eyes on me the whole time. Without looking up, I know she's sizing me up for something.  But whatever it is, I'm ready, is she?