Emery lets go of my shoulders and I crumple into a heap on the ground. Normally, I would object and tell him it was to save him, because I love him. However, I know it won’t make the slightest difference to the new Emery Hastings who hates me more than his own father.

Emery throws my bedroom door open, and it slams into the wall. Not caring about waking my parents, he is the farthest thing from quiet as he runs downstairs, then throws open the front door.

I don’t know where he’s going but I don’t follow. Instead, I drag myself back into my bed and pull the covers over me. Shaking and sobbing, I sink into my pillow and hug my knees. One constant thought runs through my head, and it’s that Emery hates me. The only boy I’ve ever loved hates me more than anything.

Eight Hours Later:

My eyes slowly open, and for a moment, everything is fuzzy. For that second, I’m happy and everything is okay. Then it all comes rushing back.

I jerk straight up in bed, and wince in pain. I’m dizzy from hitting my head, but I don’t care. I jump out of bed and walk to the mattress. Emery is on it, and his backpack is gone. In my pajamas, I rush downstairs and into the kitchen, where my mom is reading the newspaper.

“What’s the rush?” She asks, pushing it slightly down so she can see.

“Where’s Emery?” My throat feels like it’s closing up as I speak worriedly.

“River,” she says, putting down the paper. She grabs her reading glasses and removes them from her face so she can see me. “He left two hours ago.”

All the blood falls from my face and I feel like I’m going to pass out. My legs start to give out and I shakily walk towards the kitchen table, sitting down in an empty chair. “Why didn’t anyone wake me?” I whisper, barely seeing what is in front of me. Emery’s gone. He’s probably on a plane by now, and I might never see him again.

Mom gives me a look that says what-are-you-talking-about. “Emery said he woke you up and said goodbye before he came downstairs. I thought you would want to go to the airport, but he said you didn’t want to.”

My hands start to shake as they clasp together in my lap. Emery didn’t say goodbye. He left without saying a word, and I may never see him again. Plus, we left on horrible terms. If I do see him again, what will happen between us?

Suddenly, I remember something. I haven’t thought about it in a long time, and Emery never brought it up. Slowly, I rise to my feet and walk upstairs. In my room, the look of the empty mattress and Emery’s things gone makes my heart ache.

At my bedside table, my fingers clasp the nob and pull open the drawer. Shakily, I lift out the small silver box. Emery had given it to me on my birthday, and I told him I loved him, ruining the whole night. I put the necklace back in the box and in my drawer, never to look at it again. After we fixed things between us, I forgot all about it.

My fingers lift the lid of the delicate box and I gasp. The small, horse necklace that I loved so much is gone. There’s only one explanation for it, and I know that it’s because Emery took it. At first, I wonder if he took it a while ago. But after a few minutes of sitting on my bed and sulking, I decide it had to be after the conversation last night. He wants me to move on, and I can’t if I still have a part of him with me.

Sighing, I put the box back in the drawer and fall backwards on my bed. I stare up at the ceiling, and remember all the times Emery and I stared at it together. Tears start to fill my eyes as I think for the worst. Emery might never come back again. But if he did, would I still want the new Emery he is now?

Thirty Hours Later:

“Think you can take him for a ride? See if you can refresh his riding memory?” Dad asks, patting Dusk’s neck. He’s already all settled, so I guess I don’t have much of a choice. He had been waiting for me this morning in front of the barn. I guess my mom told him what happened, and he’s trying to keep me busy.

Shrugging, I climb onto his back and grasp the reins in my hands. I haven’t said much since yesterday, so I don’t say anything to my dad as I nudge Dusk on.

We take off galloping into the field. I scarily think about where we’re going as we speed quickly through our land. I never found out where Emery went after he left my bedroom, but I’m guessing it wasn’t far if he was back in time to leave the next day.

Really, I should be thinking about riding more than Emery. After all, I’m riding a horse I’ve never rode before. However, I can’t, and before I know it, we hit the end of the fields. In front of Dusk and I, sits a forest. Ever since I was young, I was told never to go in. My dad’s seen bears, mountain lions and wolves in there many times while he’s been working the fields. Yet even though I’ve slowed to a walk, I urge Dusk in.

We swerve around trees, walk over fallen trunks, and slowly make our way through the forest. I make sure I know where the exit is so I can find my way out; otherwise the chances of being found are slim.

When I think we’ve gone far enough, I stop Dusk in a small clearing full of knee-high plants. Going farther is pushing our luck, but I don’t want to go back yet. Sighing, I lean forward and rest my head sideways on Dusk’s neck.

I wonder if I had driven once I woke up yesterday, if I would have caught Emery in time. The chances are slim, however I regret not trying. As horrible as he was the other night, I miss him terribly. Now I really have no one. Was there something I could have said to make him stay?

Finally alone, I cry in peace. Emery hates me for saving his life; for murdering his father. How can I live with myself, when I did such a horrible thing and the only boy I love hates me? Frustrated tears roll down my cheeks. This is completely unfair, and yet Emery doesn’t realize that, nor does he care.

My thoughts are broken when Dusk jumps back a few feet. Quickly, I steady myself and whisper to him that it’s okay. Looking around, I see nothing to be afraid of so I rub his neck and decide it’s time to head back.

I turn him around and gasp. Dusk rears from the mountain lion that stands only a few feet away. It’s crouched down, and its mouth is open as it growls, baring sharp, threatening teeth. Only one thought runs through my mind. This time, Emery isn’t here to save me.

The mountain lion takes a step towards us and Dusk rears. Struggling, I hold on tightly and try to get him to calm down. When all four hooves are on the ground, I choose that there’s only one thing to do. I nudge Dusk on and turn him to the right. Before the large cat can attack, I burst at full speed through the forest.

Galloping and dodging trees at the same time isn’t exactly easy. Dusk is having trouble finding footing as I try to get back to the fields, but I’d rather get us both out alive and uncomfortable than the other option.

A few moments later, I see the light through the trees. Sighing a breath of relief, I urge Dusk towards it. I don’t check if the mountain lion is still following us as we speed through the fields, back to the house.

My dad’s not in the barn, doing the chores which is strange at this time of day. Instead of venturing into the barn, I un-tack Dusk outside and leave the riding gear on the fence. After I’ve calmed down from the incident, I decide it’s better to not say what happened in the forest. I head into the house where I hear my dad on the phone.

“Glad to hear you got there okay.” I walk into the kitchen where my dad leans staring out the window. My mom’s sitting at the table, eating an apple. I stare at her intently, giving her the is-it-Emery-on-the-phone look. “Yes, the second of November.”

For a moment my Mom looks like she’s deciding whether or not to answer. But then she nods her head ever so slightly. Instantly, I rush over to my dad.

“Can I talk to him?” I whisper urgently, but he turns away, trying to hear whatever Emery is saying. This can be my last connection to Emery; the last time I get to say the things that went unsaid.

“Okay. Well, there’s someone here who wants to talk to you.” My whole body lights up with joy when my dad turns back around. Smiling, he hands me the phone. Quickly, I run around the corner into the living room and sit in one of the chairs.

“Emery?” I say excitedly. I’m overjoyed to be able to talk to him, but he probably thinks I’m crazy for being this way after what he did. However, I’m too happy to care. For a few moments, I get no response. “Hello, Emery?” I repeat, but he doesn’t answer. I hear faint breathing on the other end, before he slams down the phone. The line goes dead.

The one chance I had to make things okay with Emery is ruined. He really doesn’t want to talk to me. He really, truly, does hate me and there’s nothing I can do about it.