Zainab's POV

"You idiot Shaiq, why weren't you taking my call? Now tell me what I have to do?" As soon as I placed the phone on my ear, a person shouted which was loud enough to tear my eardrum.

I pulled the phone a little away from my ear at this unexpected yelling. It was a guy who was talking and this was the first time I was hearing his voice.

"Hello.....Hello.....what the actual heck, Shaiq? Speak from your damn mouth if you have attended my call. Don't tell me you became numb because Bha---" the same person again growled but abruptly stopped in the end.

Why was he talking such rudely with Shaiq? This Ahmad guy was never in Shaiq's life five years ago. He must have made him his friend recently. Also what he was going to say but didn't complete. Suddenly I heard footsteps which prompted me to cut the call hurriedly. It was actually Shaiq who had entered the kitchen. He came towards the front counter where I was standing. His eyes were on the slab; probably in search of his phone which he placed here before going out.

After not finding it, he first looked at my face with a raised brow followed by his confused gaze at his phone in my hand. I hurriedly forwarded it in his direction.

"Your friend was calling you for a while so I thought to tell him that you are not here right now that's why I attended the call," I explained while biting my lower lip in nervousness.

His eyes were hard as rock which made me shudder. When he was my friend, I always recklessly used to take his calls and he never got angry at me for this. That was the reason, I knew about all of his friends. But now I was blaming myself for doing it. But my curiosity to learn about this Ahmad whom even Nofil and Aunt were familiar with but I didn't, made me do this.

Shaiq calmly took the phone from my hand and without sparing me a second glance, turned around in an attempt to walk away. Seeing him going out, I suddenly remembered our conversation in the room a while ago.

"Shaiq!" I called his name which caused him to stop in his track but he didn't move around to face me.

"Whatever you said in the room, were you serious about that?" I asked in a low voice.

He finally glanced at me after turning around. The corner of his lips turned up in an amusing expression, "do you think that I was kidding with you?"

"To be honest, Zainab," he paused and took a deep breath before continuing, "our void relationship has nothing left in it, for us to make jokes about it anymore. It has been a mockery for both of us for more than five years."

"None of our relationships was a mockery for me Shaiq; our friendship could have been never and also I never dissed our marriage bond as well. Whatever I did, it was for you," I whispered out the last sentence as tears started filling in my eyes.

"Whatever is going to happen is what you always wanted," Shaiq mumbled while shrugging his shoulders. He looked here and there before returning his gaze on me, "besides, I don't want to talk about this here."

"Is our friendship this weak that you would end it and wouldn't remember me?" I asked as my voice started trembling in fear.

"Our nikkah bond was also not meant to be this weak, Zainab," he replied with an ironic smile, "the difference is I won't be able to forget you because the love I feel for you is still fresh in my heart. But I will never make my love and my right of being your husband a force relation for you. You also deserve happiness and if you would get it without me being part of your life, then I will happily walk out of your life. Please forgive me for marrying you without your consent in it. But even you yourself know why did I marry you. After I fell in love with you, I thought that my love would act as a bandage for your broken heart but at that time, I didn't realize that it also comes in the meaning of throwing your wishes on someone but anyway..." He trailed off as he scratched his forehead.

At that time, I felt someone shake my whole body vigorously. He had so many misconceptions for me and today, the first time, I questioned why in the world, we had such a deep friendship that we both ended up ruining each other for each other's sake.

By talking and thinking that me telling him that I too love him would resolve every conflict between us would be looking simple and easy to anyone but the intense wounds we both got in this time were too profound to get healed by these three words. His whole life got wasted due to me. First, he sacrificed his friendship for me, then he had to let go of his share in property due to me. Even when Daniyal gave the files back to him; he and his mother somehow made Daniyal's mind to keep it to himself to use it to let him go of Shakir's debts.

That was the reason Shaiq had to work from scratch to start his business. According to Nofil, he used to do plenty of jobs in the States to make money. Then he lost his best friend forever, he had no emotional support in the form of his wife. He got no love from his wife. I always rejected him and his love. I totally ruined the prime time of his life where one always expected to give and get affection.

And by misinterpreting my words, and apparently doing it for my sake, he deprived me of my best friend as well. He was my only support in this world after Allah. Because of him, I had to live alone. Because of him, so many times, I had to deal with harassment by Shakir. I needed to do everything on my own. My personality, my nature, and my everything got changed. In a way, he also ruined my life because he cared for me.

"And please now don't ask me about this anymore because I don't want anyone to accidentally hear it before you will make a final decision," I came out of my thoughts when Shaiq spoke. He looked at me for a moment before going out of the kitchen.

"Bhabi, should I help you?" Nofil came inside and strode towards my direction as she smiled cheerfully.

I stared at her blankly. Before my marriage to Shaiq, she used to call me Baji. But since I became her brother's wife, she started naming me Bhabi. Now I got so much used to her calling me by that name that I never realized that once, I was a Baji for her. How weird it would feel for both of us when in the future---

"Bhabi!" Nofil waved her hand in front of my eyes which stopped my train of thoughts. I shuddered reminiscing about what I was thinking a while ago.

"Huh?" I uttered without even knowing what she was asking me.

"I came here to help you with the meal, Bhabi. If you are done with heating the food, give me some of them, I'll serve them on the table," she explained while looking here and there. Now I remembered the actual purpose for which I came here.

I hurriedly glanced at the bowl of the rice and then back at Nofil, "I'll bring them, don't worry. But if you really want to, then..." I bent towards the utensil rack and grabbed some plates, "then put these on the table. I am coming in two minutes, "I said while smiling at her.

"That is fine too," she exclaimed in excitation as she took the plates from my hand and went out of the kitchen.

I heated the other dishes in the oven as well before pouring them into pans. As I walked into the dining hall which was on the left side of the kitchen, I saw Shaiq sitting on one of the chairs beside his mother. On the other hand, Nofil had also settled after placing the plates. I put the dishes on the table, garnering their attention. Shaiq who was talking also stopped and looked at me with cold eyes. In a split second, he stood up as he turned towards his mother.

"Then Mom, I am going to my room. I am really sleepy and I have to go to the office as well in the morning," he told his mother at which she nodded with a smile. Taking this as a yes, Shaiq climbed upstairs towards his room.

"Aunt, what do you want to eat?" Seeing Nofil already doing justice with the food, I asked her mother.

"Give me anything beta. Since you have made them, then everything would be delicious," she beamed with a chuckle as her eyes were twinkling with love for me.

"Aunt, you guys eat it. If you don't need anything, may I go?" after filling her plate with the fried rice and placing it in front of her, I said.

"You also join us, Zainab," she ordered while running the fork in the rice.

"No, Aunt. I don't have an appetite," I replied while rubbing my nape in apprehension.

"Shaiq already told me how much you have eaten. Come on sit and eat," she held my hand and made me sit on the chair next to her, "you don't take care of yourself at all, Zainab. If Shaiq wouldn't have told me that you didn't eat properly when he came because you weren't feeling well then you would have slept empty stomach like this."

I looked at her in confusion. Shaiq had asked her to feed me by lying that I didn't eat earlier because I was sick. So he knew that I was starving and he used this thing in my favor.

"Now eat this," Aunt muttered as she pushed a plate full of rice in front of me. I hesitated at her for a moment but seeing her pointed look, I quickly put a spoonful of rice in my mouth.

"Wow! Bhabi, you have prepared Bhai's favorite dishes today. I am jealous," Nofil giggled as she winked at me with a mischievous smile.

I smiled back at her in embarrassment while keeping my whole attention on playing with the spoon.

But your brother didn't even spare a single glance at it, Nofil.

"I am really happy that you did it Zainab.  Finally, I am relieved that you both started to accept your marital relation, " Aunt whispered as she softly caressed the side of my face.

How much they were happy about it but the truth was totally opposite of what they were thinking.

                  __________________________

Everything could change, Zainab. Just tell him you also love him and you misinterpreted his words five years ago and believe me, he will be yours like before. You will get him back as a friend and as a husband both.

As I was sitting on the bench in the center of the lawn, my inner voice advised me.

But now he had changed. From where would I be able to find those five years which I snatched away from him? From where would I find the atonement of those five years which I spent without him? He would think that I was selfish. He would think that I dumped him when I didn't need him and now when I had no one then I was using him as an option to fill the loneliness of my life.

I replied to my inner voice.

Stop overthinking Zainab. Just tell him once about your true feelings before it would be too late. In the answer, even if he wouldn't believe you, take this as a punishment for what you did to him. At least you can die in peace after realizing that you confessed your love to the guy you have in your heart.

My inner voice again warned me.

I don't want to label as selfish once again. After so many rejections, he wouldn't believe that I also love him. What if this time, he would think that I was lying for his sake and would divorce me for my sake. I don't want him to leave me. I can't live without Shaiq. I will die if I wouldn't be able to see his face ever again. I will not tell him about my decision ever and in this way, he wouldn't leave me.

So are you planning to make his and your own life more hell? Don't you pity him a little bit? You snatched away everything from him. Now, are you planning to snatch away his marital right from him as well? That too for forever? You want him to live with a girl he loves in the same room as his, as his wife for his whole life. But even after having his full right, he wouldn't be able to go near her and live his whole life without getting love. Shaiq says right; you are selfish, Zainab. He is too unfortunate to have someone like you in his life both as his friend and wife.

Fear the time when you will regret that you wouldn't have breaths to support your words and would die without confessing your love, leaving both you and him incomplete. Wouldn't you repent your decision at that time that you totally ruined him? Wouldn't you feel bad that how this was how repay his favors he did in the friendship he had with you? Wouldn't you feel bad that how much you deprived him of his rights? Neither you allowed anyone else in his life nor did you let him experience true marital bliss from yourself.

"Stop!" I whispered in my head as my tongue was not supporting my words.

I covered my both ears with my hands as the inner voices started getting more louder. Tears started pouring out of my eyes like floods as I found my mind going numb due to overwhelming feelings. I held my hair tightly in my fingers when I found someone's presence beside me, causing me to look up at the person who was already staring at me.

                  __________________________

AssalamuAlaikum guys!

How are y'all?

I am finally back after such a long time. How is the chapter?

Who do you think comes in the end?

Also, do you think that Zainab is overreacting and she should just confess her love to Shaiq right away? Lemme know in the comments.

If you like this chapter, please vote. Also, leave a lot of comments. It makes me happy.  😁

And don't forget to read the next chapter. Allah Hafiz.❤