Warning: Logan, Remus and Philip used bad language in this script. We had to cover Patton's' ears.

Remus shifted foot to foot as he watched the final preparations go up - large 'union' banners, apparently a custom of the Light Realm. The city's' main street was cleared and cleaned, people beginning to line the sides. He could see trolls entering the city, getting directed by very scared Light Knights.

"Relax."

Remus screeched at the voice that appeared at his shoulder and spun around to see an unamused King Philip. "You forgot I was here, didn't you?"

"Yes! I mean, no!" Protested Remus in embarrassment. The duke sagged. "I forget you were there..." He admitted in defeat.

Philip rolled his eyes. "And now I feel sorry for Deceit unknowingly marrying an idiot."

Remus gasped. "Rude! He knows  I'm an idiot! He just doesn't know how big of an idiot I am." 

Philip rolled his eyes again, although this time it was teasing and friendly. "I just came to wish you good luck. We had our chefs work very hard at the traditional food that you eat at these sort of things."

"Thanks, Philly boy." Remus grinned. The smile turned apprehensive as he turned back to the preparations. "I just really hope the snake won't jilt me..."

"What do you mean? Why would he jilt you?"

The Duke sighed nervously. "It's rather common, to be honest... An unofficial tradition, kinda. Very often at Black Weddings, the King or Queen will jilt the first person to marry and possibly marry someone else."

"Black Weddings?" Frowned Philip.

"Black Weddings are basically what we call royal weddings."

"Ah," Said the King, now looking out across the city. "We don't call them that. Shining Unions, that's what we call them. And a King or Queen can only marry once unless their lover dies."

Remus focused on Philip out of the corner of his eye. "Why didn't you?"

"Huh?"

"Why didn't you remarry? Y'know, after your wife, uh... Kicked the bucket?"

Philip tensed, before sagging. "I don't know... I guess we had already given birth to Roman and I didn't want him to forget her. She was a lovely woman and, in my heart and head, couldn't be replaced by anyone."

Remus nodded slowly and a silence fell between them as they observed the venue.

Then Remus ruined it. "To be honest, Philip, I think, on the day I die, Dee is gonna party so fuckin' hard that he'll get fucked hard."

"What?! Ew!  No, that's disgusting! He wouldn't do that! " Philip curled his lip in slight repulsion of the idea. "I mean, he wouldn't do it straight away! He'd have to organise the party - you know, get the people who'll fuck him on the guest list! It might be two days after you died!"

Remus nodded thoughtfully. "It'll be great, cuz I'll gate crash as a ghost and watch the shit go down."

Philip closed his eyes, also nodding slowly, and spoke like an enlightened man, "I'd like you to be aware that I will not come. I'm far too old now but, if I were younger, I'd jump for the joy at the news of your death and gladly attend the party. Now, alas, I'll only be able to jump in certain and delighted joy."

"I hate you sometimes..." Grumbled the Duke.

Philip smirked. "And the feeling is mutual. Obviously."

.:*:.

The city centre was alive. Not that is ever wasn't but, today, it was brighter and busier and packed and crammed full of citizens, monsters and others. The stage was raised high, facing the gates in a dark splendour - it was covered in a black cloth, which was embroidered in yellow snake scales, and an obsidian anvil sat in the centre. A small knife lay on it.

Virgil was hesitating behind the stage, pausing at the steps. He was supposed to head up with Remus and Deceit would follow later but neither was in sight. Stamping his foot on the ground impatiently, Virgil glared around.

That's when he saw them. That's when he scowled.

Joan had arrived, apparently invited by Roman especially, and it infuriated him. If looks could kill, both Joan and Roman would be messy piles of demolished bones and innards on the floor. Good.

The prince and the knight were gossiping in loud whispers, both holding each other's' forearms tightly and excitedly.

Virgil thought for a moment. Then he decided to abuse his power. He liked doing that to Joan.

Strolling up bossily, he crossed his arms firmly, ignoring Roman. "You weren't on the list." Virgil snapped.

"O-Oh, yeah! Roman invited me." The knight replied sheepishly, with a hopeful smirk. They wanted to be friends. Virgil wanted to wallow in jealousy.

"Last time I  checked, it wasn't Roman's' wedding. It was my brothers'. And last time I  checked, Dee hadn't put Roman in charge of the invitations, special guests, menu, table arrangments, security or  the dance order. He put me in charge. And I sure as hell didn't invite you." Sneered Virgil.

 Joan squirmed nervously, giving up on any hope of Virgil forgiving them for whatever they'd done. "I'm really sorry, Virgil, I didn't know. I can leave if you want..."

Virgil smiled, but it definitely wasn't nice. "I would like that."

"Woah, hey, no! Joan, you don't have to leave!" Roman protested. He turned to Virgil with a steely glare. "My guest."

"My orders." Answered Virgil.

"My kingdom."

Oh, so he was gonna pull the power card. Virgil looked him dead in the eye. "My overloaded anxiety because I have to deal with one more person."

Roman hesitated. Then Patton was there. "Now, kiddo, I'm sure Joan can stay! I know why you don't want them here," Patton said, locking eyes with Virgil - he had the disappointed, understanding and hopeful look on his face - the Dark Prince's' only weakness, "But they should be allowed to stay! It's their right as a knight and it gives you more security." The baker prompted.

"They-" Virgil began angrily, before wilting under Patton's' fatherly gaze. "Fine. They can stay. But I won't have time to organise a spare seat at the Black Table. They'll have to stay with the other guests."

Roman glared. "They can sit at the Black Table, don't worry, Anxiety." Virgil froze, eyes widening in hurt. Roman didn't notice as he continued, "I'll get Peggy to move my seat a little further up, so they can sit next to me." And with that, he stormed off.

"Did he just call you Anxiety?" Whimpered Patton sympathetically. The question was rhetorical. Of course he had. Patton hugged Virgil tightly, the emo staring after Roman in an almost pining sorrow.

Joan glanced at the two situations, squirming nervously. They awkwardly coughed, "Uhm, I'm really sorry... I can go if you want?"

"Whatever," Mumbled Virgil, finally moving away from Patton. "Roman seems desperate for his feyfriend to stay so I don't care." He also walked away, possibly to sulk by the foot of the stage.

Patton frowned. "Feyfriend?"

"I think it's the Dark Realm word for a non-binary person in a relationship," Joan replied, staring at the emo prince. "Why does he hate me so much?"

"Uhm..." Patton began to beam awkwardly. "Virgie has a huge crush on Roman. I guess he's kinda jealous of you."

"Oh..." They said. "I thought he was holding a grudge for that time I attacked him."

"That may have something to do with it too."

"Oh."

.:*:.

Roman shifted as far as he could from Virgil without being obvious. The union had commenced and Remus was standing solemnly by the anvil. To those near him, he was visibly sweaty with nerves.

Virgil had walked the Duke up to the stage with his head bowed and fists clenched. When he walked over to stand next to Roman, it was proven that his already ducked head could sag even lower.

A small roll of drums sounded by the gates and began to rumble louder and louder, growing closer to the stage every bar. Soon it was deafening, then Deceit appeared and the drums halted.

The crowd gasped, for this had been a surprisingly dramatic entrance for just walking up three steps. Roman had jumped but Virgil and Remus remained passive.

The Dark King walked up to the anvil and the city was silent. Remus picked up the knife and kissed the flat side before placing it down on the anvil. The Duke eyes were big and scared at the idea of whatever this was wouldn't be returned.

Deceit picked up the knife and kissed the other flat side, laying it also down on the anvil.

Roman leaned up to Logan. "Psst!" He tried to get the advisor's' attention but Logan slapped his hand subtly in a warning. The Prince returned to standing still but decided to spice things up by sulking - no one seemed to care.

"Vjenčani smo." Recited Deceit, staring at Remus.

"Vjenčani smo." Repeated Remus.

And finally, they kissed. The ceremony was over. Roman relaxed as the Dark citizens screamed in cheer, quickly followed by the Light Realm's' people. Philip began to clap loudly, smirking proudly.

Logan turned to Roman. "You are so disrespectful. No one is allowed to speak during Black Weddings, except the monarch and their betrothed."

"Well, I didn't know!" Whined Roman.

"Well, you should have, Princey!" Mocked Virgil. His tone was sour but his eyes remained downcast. "I gave you a list of traditions last night for you to read and you ignored me when I tried to speak to you."

Roman glared. "Maybe I'd have spoken to you if you were a bit nicer to Joan."

"That was this morning. We're talking about last night." Virgil snapped and walked away without another word.

Roman folded his arms. "He's stroppy."

"What have you done this time?" Sighed Logan.

"Wha? I've done nothing!"

"Well, he's visibly upset. You need to apologise soon for whatever you've said to him. And it isn't the kiss - yes, Patton told me- it's something more recent. I'll repeat my previous question: What have you done?"

Roman mumbled, "I called him Anxiety..."

Logan stared at him in disbelief. "You dense motherfucker..."

"That's a little mean..."

"You need to apologize, Roman." Lectured Logan as he began to walk off the stage. "The foundation of this current peace was built on your friendship with Virgil. Fix this at the nakon zabave."

Roman watched everyone leave the stage before hesitantly making his way down too. "What the heck is a nakon zabave?" He muttered. Virgil would've told him. He missed Virgil.