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Fast Food and Family - DuckTales (2017)

Set post Escape From the Impossibin and includes spoilers for Let's Get Dangerous.

includes some fantabulous art by the equally fantabulous @undying_lilies!


"All right, who wants hamburgers!" Launchpad kicked the door open to the Darkwing Lair, three brown paper bags of fast food clutched in his hands. "We got fries, too!"

"And milkshakes!" From her spot perched on Launchpad's shoulders, Gosalyn took a loud slurp from her cup. "Oh, would you look at that. I drank all mine. Guess I'll have to eat yours, Drake!" She waved the cup in the air, ducking her head under the door frame as Launchpad entered.

"I didn't know the Hamburger Hippo had a chain in St. Canard too! It's my favorite restaurant," Launchpad said. "It even comes in ahead of McDucknalds."

Gosalyn grinned. "Yeah, Grandpa used to take me there sometimes. Actually, there's a couple of them in the city — the one we went to is the best, though." She still missed her grandpa so much that it ached, but she was finding that talking about him with Launchpad and Drake somehow made her feel slightly better.

As they entered the large room, she aimed her empty milkshake at a trashcan and threw it. "She shoots, she scor —" The cup hit the rim of the container and bounced to the side, and she frowned. "Dang it."

Launchpad patted her knee sympathetically. "You'll make it next time," he said, walking over and tossing the cup in the trash.

Gosalyn hopped off his shoulders and moved over to the railing. "Hey, Drake, we got supper!" She glanced around, frowning slightly at the lack of a response before turning to Launchpad. "Do you think he's still out on patrol?"

"Maybe he found some citizen in need and is heroically saving the day!" Launchpad suggested, grinning at the prospect.

"Cool, cool, so then he won't mind if I drink his milkshake."

They were interrupted by a computerized voice with a faint British accent. "Actually, he's upstairs being a cry-baby. Besides, how many times do I have to tell you, there's no point in patrolling for crime when you literally have a supercomputer to tell you exactly when and where the crime is!"

"Patrolling is a long-standing tradition of crimefighters around the world!" Another voice came from upstairs, and Gosalyn looked up to see Drake standing by the upper railing, still wearing the Darkwing uniform minus the hat and mask. "I'm just carrying on the noble legacy." He paused. "And I am not a cry-baby!"

"Would you prefer the term drama-queen? Because you're that too."

Drake glared at the computer as he began making his way down the stairs, wincing slightly as he gave a small wave to Gos and Launchpad. "Hey, guys."

"Geez, what happened to you?" Gosalyn wrinkled her beak — Drake was looking significantly worse for the wear: he had a blackened, swollen eye, and his beak was wrapped in bandages. The Darkwing uniform, too, was torn and ripped in multiple places.

As Drake reached the bottom, he crossed his arms and glanced away. "I don't want to talk about it."

Gosalyn raised an eyebrow at him. "Yikes, Wanda was right — you are being a cry-baby. Here, you can tell us all about how you got beat up while we eat!"

Launchpad helpfully raised up the bags of food, but Drake waved them away. "I'm not hungry."

"Aw, come on, it's Hamburger Hippo!" Launchpad wiggled the bags in the air, making Gos laugh.

When Drake didn't respond, however, she rolled her eyes and marched over to him. "Alright, that's enough," she said, grabbing ahold of Drake's arm — making him yelp in pain — and trying to tug him towards the couches. She didn't have much success, so she glanced over at Launchpad. "Help me out over here, would you?"

Launchpad nodded and walked behind them to push Drake, easily sliding both him and Gosalyn over to the couches. Drake groaned, but between Gosalyn and Launchpad they were able to force him to sit down. Gosalyn climbed up to sit on the back of the couch behind Drake, and Launchpad sat down across from them on the other chair.

He handed Drake one of the bags of food, who morosely pulled out his burger and fries. Drake lifted the top bun of his burger and grimaced. "Ugh, mayonnaise?"

"Oh, that one's mine!" Launchpad handed Drake another bag. "You and Gos both got mayo-free burgers."

Gosalyn gave Drake a friendly kick, making him wince. "You're not the only one around here with taste, you know." She stuck her tongue out at Launchpad. "Honestly, mayo is gross."

Launchpad only shrugged good-naturedly and took a bite of his burger, making Gosalyn sigh slightly. He was no fun to tease.

Drake sighed longer than Gos had as he looked down at his new burger. "Thanks, guys," he said, slumping back into the couch as he took a bite. "It's just been a rough day."

"Yeah, we can tell." Gosalyn leaned down to grab the paper bag and pulled out a milkshake, sticking it into Drake's face. "Here, I suppose you probably need this more than I do," she said with a dramatic air. "Treat it well."

Drake turned and gave her a slightly baffled look, but Gos didn't miss the hint of a smile playing at his beak as he accepted the cup. "Thanks, I think." He raised it up and took a sip, his eyes widening. "Hey, you guys remembered my favorite flavor!"

"Blissful Black Raspberry," Launchpad said, nodding. "A very distinguished choice."

"Also, it's purple. Purple is, like, your whole color scheme." Gosalyn gestured vaguely at the Darkwing suit. "It wasn't too hard to remember." Not wanting to wait any longer, she began bouncing up and down slightly on the back of the couch. "So are you gonna tell us what happened? At least say that the other guy looks worse."

Drake slumped back down. "I wish. I was upstairs training —"

"By which he means, he was trying to come up with more ideas for his entrance," W.A.N.D.A. interrupted. "None of which were very good."

Drake stood up just enough to turn and glare. "Thank you so much for your input," he said through gritted teeth.

Gosalyn met Launchpad's eyes and grinned, and she could see Launchpad biting his beak to try to hold in a laugh as Drake sat back down in a huff. There was barely a heartbeat of silence before she spoke. "So, you were upstairs training?" she said, her expression shifting to one of complete innocence.

Drake gave her a suspicious look, but resumed speaking. "Yes, I was hard at work, when some guy with a steel beak burst in —"

"Woah, woah, hold up — did you say a steel beak?" Gosalyn couldn't help but interrupt, her eyes lighting up. "Keen gear! You should get one of those!"

Drake rubbed his injured beak and frowned. "I might have to, if I get beat up like this too many more times."

"A steel beak?" Launchpad paused mid-hamburger bite, which was unusual for him. His brow furrowed in thought, but after a long moment of silence in which both Gos and Drake stared at him, he shrugged and continued chewing. "Neat."

Drake shook his head and continued. "Anyways, he burst in and tackled me. I tried to fight back, but —" He grimaced. "Every time I said something, he seemed to think I was insulting him, and well — he didn't like that too much. Guy had some anger issues."

Gosalyn unwrapped her burger and began munching on it, ignoring the lettuce that spilled onto the couch cushion below her. "So why'd he come here?"

Drake faltered. "He — he took the plans for the Solego circuit. Seemed to know right where it was and everything — and as soon as he found it, he left." He paused and amended that statement. "Well, he punched me again, then left."

Silence fell over the trio, and Gosalyn stared into her burger. "He — he took the Solego circuit?" she said, fighting to keep her voice from shaking. It was just some pieces of paper with drawings and notes on them, she knew, but — it was also one of the few things she had left of her grandpa.

"I'm sorry, Gos," Drake said, his tone regretful. "I should've been able to protect it — I should've been able to beat him —" He sighed. "Just when I think that maybe I'm actually decent at this hero thing, something else comes along and makes me doubt it."

Gosalyn set aside her own thoughts to look up and frown at Drake. "Oh no you don't. C'mon, you defeated Taurus Bulba! And the Fearsome Four! And a literal interdimensional portal! And now you're getting all self-pitying because you got beat up once?"

"Technically, you were the one who defeated the portal," Drake said. "And I know you're right, but I just — Mr. McDuck gave me one job, to protect those circuit plans, and I let him down." He hesitated. "And . . . I let you down, too."

Gosalyn's eyes widened, and she took a large bite of her burger in response — hiding any tears that may or may not have been threatening to form.

"But you're gonna make mistakes," Launchpad said, stepping in — for which Gos was grateful. "That's just part of life. What matters is that you —"

"Get back up and fight for what's right," Drake finished, smiling slightly. "That's really becoming my motto here, isn't it?"

"It's a good motto," Gosalyn said, finally finding her voice. Launchpad nodded agreement. "Besides," she said, turning slightly teasing, "probably the only reason you lost is because we weren't here."

Drake paused, frowning. "I don't really think that's the case."

"Ah, there he is!" Gosalyn grinned and punched Drake on the shoulder. "The ego is back! Don't worry, guys, he's gonna be alright!"

Drake rubbed his shoulder, but turned to smile slightly at her. "Thanks for that," he said.

She didn't know whether he meant the support or the teasing, but either way the answer was the same. "What else is family for?" Gos said, the words spilling out automatically as she bounced off the back of the couch and onto the cushion next to Drake. It took her a moment to look up and realize that he was staring at her with a slightly stricken expression. "Uh, you good?"

Drake blinked several times. "I — yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine," he said, nodding.

"Actually, he's probably freaking out internally because you just called him family for the first time," W.A.N.D.A. supplied, her tone helpful. "Statistically speaking, that's the most likely cause."

Gosalyn's eyes widened. The word had just felt natural, had easily popped out of her after hearing Launchpad talk so much about family, but only now did its significance hit her. She felt her cheeks begin to burn, something she attempted to hide by taking another bite of her burger and slumping back into the couch. Drake stood up and rounded on the computer. "Seriously, why couldn't Fenton have built in a mute button for you?"

"You're just angry because I'm right."

"That doesn't mean you need to — you're not —"

Gosalyn risked a glance up from her hamburger and accidentally made eye contact with Launchpad. Before she could look away, though, he leaned forward and spoke. "Are you worried about your grandpa if you say Drake's your family?"

Gosalyn opened her beak to deny it, but realized she couldn't and closed it again. She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling a few tears leak out around the corners. "I just — he's my family. And I really, really like you guys, but if I say you're my family too, then — then I feel like I'm betraying him. Like I'm giving up on getting him back."

Launchpad hesitated, looking more serious than Gos was accustomed to. "I know I'm not always the smartest about a lot of things, but if there's one thing I do know — besides Darkwing and flying — it's family. And the great thing about family is that it can always grow." He paused. "The McDucks are my family, but so are you guys. Just because you let more people into your family doesn't mean you have to lose what you've already got."

Gosalyn didn't say anything for a long moment as she stared into her hamburger. "Why are you so good at pep talks?" she finally muttered, smiling slightly despite herself and quickly swiping a sleeve across her eyes.

"It's not really a pep talk, it's just —" Launchpad shrugged slightly. "Well, maybe it was a pep talk. Just think about what I said."

Unheard by either of them until now, Drake rounded the couch and all but flung himself down in it. "I think I got her to be quiet."

"You didn't," W.A.N.D.A. informed them. They ignored her.

Gosalyn glanced over at Drake, who was fidgeting with his hands and looking awkward. "Sorry about that," he said, not meeting her eyes. "I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or anything by pointing it out — unlike some people." He darted a glare over his shoulder at W.A.N.D.A.

"Hey, I'm a computer. I'm not supposed to understand social cues."

Drake rolled his eyes, then finally looked directly at Gos. "I just — I want you to know you'll always be welcome here," he said, speaking quickly. "Even if — when — we get your grandpa back, you'll have a place here." He opened his beak, looking like he might say more, but then closed it again and picked up his milkshake, taking a long, drawn-out sip that Gosalyn suspected was more to avoid eye contact than anything.

Gosalyn bit the lower edge of her beak, but she couldn't stop a small smile from spreading across her face. "I would hope so," she said. "You're not gonna get rid of me that easily."

Drake turned and smiled back, and Gosalyn's eyes widened slightly. "Oh, geez, your teeth!"

"My teeth? What's wrong with my teeth?" Drake asked, a panicked expression coming over his face as he reached towards his beak. "Gos, what's wrong with my teeth??"

Launchpad leaned forward, frowning. "They appear to be turning purple," he said, stroking his chin. And sure enough, Drake's normally pristine white teeth had a definite purple tint to them.

"Purple? What —" Drake looked down at the culprit: his black raspberry milkshake. "Oh," he said, deflating for a heartbeat before whirling on Gosalyn. "You almost gave me a heart attack! I thought that steel beak guy had ruined my perfect teeth!"

Gos barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Actors. "I think you should keep it — purple's really your color. Besides, it matches the suit." She paused. "And the bruises."

Drake let out a melodramatic groan. "Stupid Blissful Black Raspberry," he said, then straightened slightly. "Okay, but tell me the truth — do the bruises make me look bad?"

"Hmm. . ." Gosalyn cocked her head, making a show of deliberating it and getting way too much enjoyment out of Drake's sinking expression. "I mean, yeah, they look bad, but in a good way."

Drake frowned. "I don't follow."

"You look like the old Darkwing!" Launchpad supplied. "He looked beat up all the time in the show."

Gosalyn pointed at Launchpad. "Yes, exactly! The bruises add to the mysterious, dangerous hero vibe. They make you look cool!"

"They make me look like I got beat up," Drake said, but he was smiling faintly. "But . . . I could get behind that. The caped crusader continues to fight, his injured face striking terror in the hearts of all criminals!"

"It sure strikes terror in my heart," Gos said, grinning.

Drake rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure, whatever." He reached over to ruffle Gosalyn's hair, and she laughed. "I do hope it heals sooner rather than later, though."

"Don't worry, I'm sure your pretty actor face will be back to normal eventually," Gosalyn said. "And Launchpad and I'll be sure to tease you about it until then, though — right, LP?"

She glanced over at Launchpad to see him giving them both a wide smile. Gosalyn and Drake exchanged slightly confused glances before Launchpad abruptly swept forward and grabbed them both up in a back-breaking hug. "I love family!"

Although initially caught off guard, Gosalyn found herself relax into the hug, smiling — that is, until she felt something cold and wet seeping into her jacket.

Drake must have noticed it too. "Launchpad, my milkshake —"

"Uh-oh." Launchpad abruptly dropped them, and Gosalyn and Drake bounced back down on the couch. Gosalyn looked down at her jacket with a dismayed expression at the purplish stain spreading across it, then looked over at Drake and Launchpad. They both had identical purple patches on their shirts, though it was less noticeable on Drake due to the already dark uniform.

The milkshake cup dropped to the couch, crushed and leaking purple ice cream everywhere.

"My uniform!" Drake cried in dismay. "My couch! My ice cream!"

Gosalyn hopped up, pulling at her outer jacket. "Wanda, how do you get berry stains out of clothes?" she asked.

"I thought you wanted me to be quiet?"

"Not the time!"

There was a pause. "Lemon juice or vinegar should do it."

Several minutes later, Gosalyn and Launchpad stood without their jackets, and Drake had changed into his 'civilian clothes.' Some of the ice cream had gotten onto Launchpad's shirt as well, but he'd decided to leave it. "The stain will match the rest of my clothes," he'd said. The stained clothing was hanging over the railing, the discolored portions having been doused in vinegar.

"So . . . anyone else still hungry?" Launchpad asked after a moment of silence. He had finished his burger and was steadily making his way through his fries. "We've still got one milkshake left."

Gos glanced over at Drake, who shrugged. "Why not?"

And so it was that the three of them poured Launchpad's milkshake — chocolate, Gosalyn's favorite — into three cups and climbed up to the window overlooking St. Canard. The night air was warm enough that Gosalyn didn't miss her jacket, and the city was peaceful for the time being.

Drake seemed to know an abnormal amount about stars and constellations, so he pointed out several of them while Launchpad and Gos came up with alternate (more accurate, in Gos's opinion) names for them. Drake grew increasingly exasperated with them until Launchpad pointed out that if you tilted your head the right way, Aquarius looked kind of like Quackerjack's head — which Drake, looking surprised, agreed with.

"Could Ursa Major be Megavolt, maybe?" he asked, and Launchpad's eyes lit up with excitement.

Gosalyn laughed and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as contentment settled over her like a warm blanket. Maybe her grandpa was still missing, and maybe things were far from perfect, but for now she felt warm, and safe, and happy. She didn't feel alone anymore.

And perhaps most importantly, for the first time since her grandpa's disappearance, she felt home.



ISN'T LILIES' ART AMAZING????

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