This is by emz_the_writer. It's actually a One Piece fanfiction, which I find quite exciting! Y'all, she's spicing thing up with the review type. We, for the first time, enter fairy land.

I know I'm not an art critic, but that's some quality art one the cover. 11/10

We've got a nice introduction with a lot of rhetorical questions, and am like, damn, is she really gonna change her fate tho? Like, I'm already wondering. 

Um, first of all, amazing grammar. Seriously, these past few stories haven't even needed reviewing because they're so good. This story is already looking great, for real. All this review is going to do is boost your ego, which is fine. I'll compliment you 'til the cows moo if that's what's real, yo.

Ah, young Helheppo. You're right when you say he looks like an onion. For real, what was he thinking when he chose that hairstyle? I'm glad some sense is knocked into him, somewhat, as he's older. Low ponytail isn't a big upgrade considering the odd shape of his head, but it's certainly better than whatever bowl-cut bob he had going on there.

Paragraph shifting is smooth, and you've introduced your character smoothly as well. She is Luffy's sister, which is a bit of a cliche concept, but I really think you can twist it and make it unique in your own way. So far, the oc is nowhere near Mary Sue levels, so I'm pretty confident her being Luffy's sister will be nothing short of awesome.

Wait, things took a turn. Shanks is suddenly here. I find that slightly odd, but it's alright, it's fine. She seems pretty powerful, but I haven't really seen her in action. The time thing should have drawbacks though, really. Interesting character so far.

Things sort of pick up pace and you've sort of begun to rush along, I notice. I've never read a One Piece fic before now. Not one with an OC, anyway. I do not know if this is cliche. From what I've seen from other fandoms, this would be considered slightly cliche, but you've made it your own. My other fanfiction standards. Again, I really cannot speak for the One Piece fandom itself.

I see almost no issues with your fanfiction. It's amazing. Great, really! I would suggest some revising. Like, adding in some more details to make the chapters seem less rushed. You said you wrote all 32 parts in a week, adn I've done the same thing. People tend to rush when they write that much at once. You just want to get it out! 

She is very powerful, but so are many anime characters. I'd be concerned if she went from powerless to suddenly powerful, but because she's powerful now, it suggests she had training in the past. Really, there's nothing wrong with your story. You wrote in it a week (and impressive feat, might I add) so you may want to go back in and spot edit. Add some more meat to the bones of your story!

Your character is very well balanced. She has fears, weaknesses, and strengths. I'm thoroughly impressed with the story you've put together in the span of a week! It's amazing, really. It almost makes me want to write 32 parts for no reason...

*Eyes stories*

Oh, and a note for everyone. Sometimes people will ask me to edit a single chapter of their story to see what it maybe should or could look like. If you'd like something like that added to your review, just say so, and I can add it to the bottom so you have reference. For some people, it helps them to see where I put commas in THEIR writing and such. Where and how I add details. Stuff like that, you know? But I won't do such a thing without your permission, and it's not like a requirement. It just helps some people sksk