Here we are this lovely morning, writing a neutral review for Miss kizaqueen8628's Naruto fanfiction. Let's get this show on the road.

Fuck it's on a very long hiatus, but this is fine. We're doing it anyway.

I'm a little confused, just going in. I've read it twice over, but it IS three in the morning, so that's probably why. It sounds a little bit rushed, but the grammar is really good, and you've got good paragraph structure. I'd say add more details. Madara's thoughts? Hashirama's? Maybe what it feels like to touch the star

Example: 

Madara placed his hand upon the star. It was hot, but not uncomfortably so. The feeling spread up his arm, prickling at his skin. He felt his hairs stand on end. Goosebumps rose to attention as the star pulsed with light. It was comforting in a way the Uchiha could not fully describe, yet it also felt him feeling energized. Like he'd been given a shot of adrenaline that left him feeling oddly fulfilled.

Idk man just go with it. Did that shit hurted? Was it gucci gang? Write that shit down.

Okay, okay, so there's a star. It can talk now. Hashirama and Madara finna protect it. Prophecy says one day it's gonna turn into a child

Also, a fair thing to point out is that a star is not solid. I'm not sure what kind of star this is, if it's metaphorical, or some kind of crystal. But stars are balls of gas that float around in space and sometimes blow up. I'm assuming star is just a word you're using, and it's not like a literal star but who knows

Cool, leggo

Bruh the star dyin' this is worse than the dog dying in a movie heck.

Grammar is good, but it's still rushed. Chapter two especially, with the girl appearing. It's like

Boom it shattered

Boom, she's there

Boom, the Hokage is there

I'd suggest something like: 

The star began to glow brightly. It hummed, shining blindingly unlike ever before. As if the weakness had left it, its power personified. The surrounding ANBU took a few steps back as it began to shake. It seemed to shift the ground along with it, the whole world rocking and tilting along with the protected and loved stellar being. Warmth rolled off of it in waves, sending shivers wracking through the bodies of those present.

And then, it all stopped. The star shattered.

Bright shards flew through the air, dissipating into nothingness before they could hit any of the ANBU, most of which shielded their masked faces as a blast of wind shot out at them in wake of the star's destruction. The Earth gave a final, threatening shake. Something nobody could identify let out a sort of roar. Whether it was the wind, the star, or something else entirely, nobody knew.

The ANBU let their eyes adjust, and they froze at what they saw.

~

But uh yeah you didn't ask me to edit your shit so I'm going to stop with my too-long example. I like the idea you're going with for the story; it's really good and interesting. I don't think I've ever seen a fic with a star that blows up and leaves a little girl behind, so that's pleasant. 

The character that pops out of the star is a little odd. She knows who the Hokage is, but that may be because of the star things. Maybe she just has that knowledge, but it seems like she should be a little more confused. Unless she's supposed to have some pre-determined knowledge. It's a little hard to make out what you were going with for her.

Wait she was conscious.

She's one-hundred years old, she probably shouldn't have the mind of a child, so keep that in mind. If she was conscious the whole time, she should have a deeper understanding of the world, and maybe some manners. The whole character is a bit confusing. The writing is good, as is the structure, but your OC could use some definite revamping.

You're also rushing even more than you were before. She's out of the star, walking with the Hokage, and within minutes she's asking to go to the academy. And the Hokage takes her. They just stick her in there, not asking any questions. The girl is fine, she knows what's up. But if she's 100, why's she need to be in the academy? She's technically older than the Third Hokage himself, and should be wiser in theory.

I'd say rework your story a little! There are a lot of plot holes and vital parts you rushed through, and though the idea is amazing, and your grammar is great, it's really shutting me down as I read the story. I find myself not really wanting to continue because they're no substance to it, you know? You're giving us what I'd call an outline of a chapter rather than an actual chapter.

That being said, your grammar is still superb. You've got commas, and seem to follow most of the rules concerning apostrophes and various spellings (you're, your, there, their, they're), so good on you for that! Your idea is unique and it's something I would totally write. It's intriguing, inspiring, and it's something I'd love to read if it were a little more detailed!

You're an amazing and creative writer, so don't give up! Your story has the potential to be one of the best I've ever seen with just a little bit of work! 

Minor grammar tips:

-Put commas before names when addressing people
Ex: 
"Hey, Pineapple man!"
"Chisana, can you not?
"Hey there, Shikamaru! I'm Chisana!"

-Commas to conjoin a sentence fragment with a full sentence!
Ex:

Sentence fragment: Chisana didn't know it

Sentence: Shirai's heart leapt a little when she sat next to him.

Add the appropriate conjunction. A conjunction is used to connect clauses or sentences! Pick the one that makes sense. You can plug in each one if you aren't sure, or you may just know which one goes naturally! 

  Some conjunctions: And, but, for, nor, or, so, and yet  

Combined: Chisana didn't know it, but Shinrai's heart leapt a little when she sat next to him.

More example's of conjunctions in sentences:
-She knew it was illegal, yet she did it anyway.

-He had no interest in buying a pig skull, nor would he ever.

-I didn't murder him, so buzz off, asshole

-Okay, so maybe I shit in the Walmart parking lot. I was drunk!

-Worry not, for I am here! Go beyond Plus Ultra!

-It wasn't me. You have a witness, and security tapes! 

-Do you want the drugs, or are you just going to stand there?

-I'm a stripper, and a sugar daddy. I know how to work it, twerk it, and make it rain.

I hope this helped some alkdlasd I hope I didn't offend anyonE AH