Here we have a Naruto fic by ImmaLiveAndBeFree. We're going neutral, folks. 

So first we start out with an introduction. So far, my Mary Sue radar isn't going off. Good work. She's not too op, and she isn't a busty goddess (at least, not according to this intro). So far, so good. This is gonna be neato, y'all. 

Ah fuck this is a really good start I keep forgetting I'm supposed to be reviewing it. No grammar mistakes as far as I can see. There are a few places commas could go, but like overall if I wasn't reviewing, I wouldn't notice or care. Unless I was a fucking asshat of a reader.

And cut scene to be dancing into my chair to Saturday Trap Nation edition because it was attached.

11/10 story rating just for that to be honest.

I'm glad she wasn't immediately let in. She was in the hospital for a long time. Their whole talk could have been a little longer since this is an individual nobody knows who's entering the village, but I'm guilty of this crime in some of my stories too. But like, bravo, bro. Good story. This is the quality content I sighed up for. 

Your paragraphs are a little on the long side. Reading a giant chunk of text is no fun. And, again this is a tip for everyone, start a new paragraph when someone new starts talking. It doesn't have to be like, a full paragraph. Just start a new line. They don't need to talk the whole paragraph either or anything. 

"Heyo, Johnny boi." The spicy memelord hopped up to the pedestal.

"No, you listen to me, Carl." The man hopped up, eyes blazing. "I am not your boi. I am not even a boi. I am a man, and that is final! Do you hear me? I don't want any more of this 'boi' nonsense from you. I'll beat you six ways from Sunday, kiddo. Don't think I won't. That's a threat. A solid threat. An actual, real threat."

"I'm scared." Carl whimpered, staring at Johnny the not boi. He could see clearly now that Johnny was indeed a man, and no longer just a boi. How could he have been so foolish?! How... How had he mistaken this man for a mere boi? What an idiotic assumption. A rookie mistake, if Carl had ever seen one.

"You should be, Carl."

As you can see, I have used a variety of paragraph/lines. Longer ones and shorter ones. One with more text, and others with more thought and shit. I don't know, y'all. Take my tips. I don't know what I'm doing-

But yeah, this story only had three chapters. I didn't want to nitpick too hard, since it's short, but I also can't judge the plot since it hasn't really started yet. However, I can say you've got a strong start going. Very good, definitely not cliche. She's not OP or anything. Don't make the mistake of her suddenly picking up skills, and try to avoid giant time skips. 

Here here's a list of things you SHOULD do if you want like you don't have to sksksk (This may be useful for other people too shshaldkhlskd)

-Avoid giant time skips
-Show us her growth. 
-Don't have her suddenly learn skills
-Don't make anyone immediately fall in love with her. Give time for a crush to incubate
-Don't rush. I know some people can get eager to get to a certain point. Don't try and speed to it
-Let us hear her thoughts more and watch her go through her ups and downs. 
-Give her some friendships. Some rich, spicy friendships that form over the course of a few weeks
-Details, folks. It's all about details. Is it cold? Write that down. Does the gravel crunch under the feel? Fuck yeah, write that shit down too. Is her jacket scratchy? Jot that right on down. Birds are singing? Down on the paper it goes.
-Don't Mary Sue her by accident
-Seriously, don't

Good luck. I have high hopes for your story! 

Also, would anyone be interested in a list of dos and don'ts when starting a Naruto fanfiction? Like things to shoot for and things to avoid? I don't know what I"m talking about ahdilshaldks (Nobody is gonna read this smh)