You were on watch but instead of guarding the outside of the walls, your gaze trailed Rick and Michonne as they walked down the street. They were all smiles and hand-holding and God it still hurt. There was a time that was you. When it was you tucking Judith in at night and trying to convince Carl he could be a kid on occasion without the world falling apart.

Then you'd gotten separated shortly after Terminus. The irony of living through all that other shit together and losing one another after the worst of it. Rick assumed you were dead. Rightfully so you guessed, but you'd never quit looking for him. As it turned out, it wasn't him you found. It was Daryl.

He'd been on a run and you were just trying to survive. You'd never been so happy to have a crossbow pointed at your face. There was a small piece of you that always wondered if they'd known you were alive and just left you but his reaction assured you that wasn't the case. Daryl had immediately lowered his weapon and wrapped an arm around you to pull you to him. He was near tears as he kissed your head. "We thought you were dead. That the walkers got you."

You pulled away from him with a smile. "I'm not that easy to kill, Daryl."

He huffed a laugh. "Thank fuck for that."

"How is everyone?" You might have said everyone but you really meant Rick and Daryl knew it.

"Rick's just fine, Y/N. He's going to be thrilled to see you. We got us a place now. A good place. Come home with me?" He sounded uncertain as if you'd maybe found another life without them.

You grinned. "Yes, please." You'd been on your own since you'd lost them. Your heart too tender to find another group only to lose them too. And you'd never lost hope you'd find your family again.

Daryl chewed on his thumb and kept glancing at you while he drove. He was nervous but you had no idea why.

"All right. What's up with you?" you finally asked.

"Nothing. Just..." He sighed. "Look, it's just been awhile okay? I mean, we all thought you were dead so you can't get mad if things aren't the way they were."

You swallowed past the sudden lump in your throat. "He's with someone else." It was a fear you had with everyday that passed but tried not to think about too much. You'd promised each other forever so he'd choose you, right?

Daryl glanced at you again and cringed. "Don't look like that, Y/N. He grieved. We all did, but him the longest. It was relief when he moved on instead of fading away like we all feared."

You turned your attention to the window as hot tears ran down your cheeks. "Of course, it was, Daryl. It's fine. No worries. It will be nice to be home even if it's not like I remember it."

And it was. Even if it did break your heart to see Rick and Michonne together. It was a little cliché if you did say so yourself. Your boyfriend and your best friend seeking comfort in one another. To be fair, they'd offered to split up but you'd turned them down. They weren't offering because Rick was so madly in love with you he wanted you back. No, it was just guilt, plain and simple. You gave them your blessing and moved in with Daryl. And if you cried so hard that first night that he'd heard you and crawled into bed with you to hold you while you wept, well the two of you kept that to yourselves.

You tore your eyes from the happy couple and turned your attention back to the road. Daryl was gone now and you were more alone than ever. He'd been taken by that asshole Negan. Thus far you'd avoided meeting the leader of the Saviors. You spent a lot of time on runs or hunting and always managed to be gone when he came for his supplies. As movement in the distance caught your eye, you got the feeling your luck might have just run out.

"Rick," you called, knowing he was still close enough to hear. Less than a minute later, he was by your side. You handed him your binoculars and stepped back.

"Shit. He's early." He lowered the glasses and the muscle in his jaw twitched. His gaze flicked to you. "Did you get the supplies we needed?"

You nodded once. "I put the extra in your basement. We keep stashing the way we have been, we'll have a pretty good back up."

He put a hand on your shoulder and squeezed. "Good." And then he was gone.

You shifted your rifle from your shoulder to your hands. You weren't going to shoot anyone, but it made you feel better, kind of like a high caliber security blanket. The gates were open by the time Negan and his men arrived. There was no reason to piss him off any more than necessary. Once they were inside, the gates were secured behind them. Your gaze darted between the area outside the wall and the meeting going on between Negan and Rick.

You ran your tongue along your teeth as you took in the man that had everyone so scared. A couple of the women had mentioned his looks but damn. You wondered how many times he'd used that panty melting smile you caught a glimpse of to get exactly what he wanted. A low moan caught your attention and your head snapped back to the outside. Grabbing the binoculars, you scanned the tree line. A fucking horde. Just what you needed when the devil himself was inside your walls. They were still far enough away that they could turn. You tried to do a quick count but there were simply too many.

"Shit, shit, shit." You hopped off the wall and ran straight for Daryl's bike. Negan hollered as you ran by and you were aware of several weapons pointed in your direction. You slid to a stop to give him a quick once over. "You can yell at me and ask me whatever you want in a bit. Right now, I have a horde to distract."

When he continued to study you with those dark eyes and the weapons stayed trained on you, you shifted your weight. "Make up your mind, cowboy. Either I go now or we fight a horde at the gate."

"Simon." That was all Negan said, but it was enough to send another man scrambling up the wall.

"She's telling the truth," he called down a moment later.

Negan licked his lips. "And you think you can stop them?"

"I know I can."

He held your gaze a moment more before nodding once. "You can go. If you run, someone dies."

You rolled your eyes as you ran to the bike. Your rifle was settled across your back and you grabbed an airhorn from the saddle bag. You fired up the bike and headed for the gate knowing it would be open by the time you got there. At least it better be or this was going to be a short trip.

Sure enough, there was a gap just wide enough for you to ride through. You stopped a short distance from the horde and swallowed as you looked them over again. Damn, there was a lot of them. You could only hope enough followed you to make this worth it. Sucking in a deep breath, you blasted the air horn. As the horde immediately shifted in your direction you smiled. "Here we go."

You took off on the bike trying your best to maintain that happy medium of close enough they kept following and far enough ahead they wouldn't actually catch you. Occasionally you'd blow the horn to make sure you kept their attention. You knew roughly the direction they needed to go to keep from going straight to another community so you steered them that way. Everything was going according to plan and you were just about ready to ditch the horde when it all went to shit. To be fair you should have been expecting it. Your life tended to do that at the most inopportune moments.

Your attention was on the horde behind you when you were hit from the side. You dumped the bike. Skin and blood colored the grass as you slid along pinned under the bike. Shoving the metal off, you pushed yourself to your feet and pulled out your knife. The walker that had taken you out lumbered in your direction. From the looks of a half-severed limb, the crash hadn't left it unscathed either. You stepped back and nearly howled as pain flared up your leg. Shit. You couldn't outrun them and you certainly couldn't kill them all. You needed to find another alternative.

The only thing around other than you and the dead was trees. Looked like you were climbing. It took more effort than it normally would have but you finally made it into the tree. You did your best to assess the damage from the crash but it wasn't easily done in your current position. Near as you could figure nothing was broken but you were torn up and hurting.

Once the majority of the horde passed, you climbed down, grunting when you put weight on your leg. You used your knife to take out a couple of stragglers that got between you and the bike. To your relief the engine turned on the first try. You turned around to head back to Alexandria. The ride wasn't doing shit for your pain level but you needed to get back and the sooner the better. The gate slid open as you approached and you pulled in and parked.

A short distance away, Negan had five members of your group on their knees in front of him. He turned to watch you dismount. "Well, look who came back."

"You're an impatient fuck, aren't you?" you asked with a gesture at your friends.

His lips twitched and he motioned for everyone to stand. He sauntered over to you, baseball bat on his shoulder. "You have one colossal sized set of balls for a woman. How is it you and I have never met?"

"Not around much. I'm usually hunting or doing supply runs."

He nodded and ran his tongue over his bottom lips as he looked you over again. His smile fell away as he noticed the injuries you'd tried to keep turned from him. Never let your enemy see your weakness and all that. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Dumped the bike. It's fine."

"It's not the bike I asked about, sweetheart. Anything broken?" He just continued to close the distance between you as he talked.

"Why do you care?" There was no venom in your words, you were just genuinely curious.

"Well, you're not much use to me if you're damaged goods, are you?" And there was that grin again. As if your knees weren't already weak enough.

"What do you mean she's of use to you?" Rick finally spoke up. It was the first thing anyone other than Negan had said since your return.

"Well, Rick the dick, I intend to take her with me when we leave. You got a problem with that?"

"Yeah, I got a problem with that. You can't just take one of our people. That wasn't part of our deal."

The change in Negan's demeanor was immediate and severe and he turned to Rick with a growl. "Our deal is whatever the fuck I say it is."

"All right, boys. You're both pretty."

Negan turned to face you, his brow arched. He was not amused at having been interrupted. You held up your hands in a placating gesture. "I'm the best shot they have and do a good portion of their runs. Rick's just worried about what will happen when I leave. That's all."

He ran his tongue over his lip again as if he knew precisely how it made your belly flutter. He kept his gaze on you as he talked to Rick. "That true, Ricky. Are you worried about losing...Well, fuck, sweetheart, I don't even know your name."

"Y/N Y/L/N."

"Are you worried about losing Y/N here in particular?"

Rick cleared his throat. "Yeah. None of us want to see Y/N go anywhere."

You couldn't help but hope there was a deeper meaning hidden in Rick's words. Of course, you'd been completely serious when you said you were the best shot in the ranks. It was just as likely he was lamenting the loss of your aim.

"Alright then, I'll give her a choice. She can stay or she can come with me. No consequences. So what'll it be, sweetheart?" Negan's grin was cocky but there was a genuine curiosity burning in his eyes. He wanted to see what you'd do.

"Then she stays," Rick answered.

"It's her choice, not yours. Try to interfere again and you and Lucille will be having a little chat." Again, Negan didn't even turn to look at the man he was addressing. Apparently, he found you entirely too interesting to turn his attention elsewhere.

You tilted your head as you looked him over. You weren't fooling yourself here. You knew this man was brutal, ruthless and cruel. You also knew that he took care of those that were loyal to him and he didn't tolerate mistreatment of women by his men. Maybe you could get Daryl out if you went. Maybe you couldn't. Either way you wouldn't have to smile as your heart broke over and over again every single day.

"Three months."

"Excuse me?" Negan asked, clearly confused.

"I go with you, you give them three months before you come back. Give them time to get back on their feet without me."

He laughed. "You can't be that fucking important, sweetheart."

"Daryl and I were a team. We kept this shit locked down. You've got him too so it seems only fair."

"Whoever said I was fair?"

You took a limping step toward him and his attention shifted to your leg with a frown. "I go with you of my own free will. You get a Marine with the best aim within a hundred miles. I get some pain meds and they get three months to build up a supply before you take half of it."

His gaze narrowed. "One month."

"Two," you countered and hoped like fuck he'd take it. You wanted to get off your damn feet and you didn't rightly care if it was here or in a truck on the way to Negan's community.

He grinned again. "Your girl here just bought you two months, folks. You better make good use of it."

You nodded. "I got some shit to get together."

"You don't look like you're in any shape to be doing much of anything." He turned and glanced around until his gaze fell on Carol. "Get her stuff together and bring it out."

Your friend looked at you and went to do as instructed after a nod from you.

Negan's attention shifted to Rick. "You. Get her some pain medication." He glanced at you. "Need anything else?"

"Alcohol and bandages would probably be a good idea."

"You heard the lady," Negan said and Rick frowned.

"She ain't part of our group anymore, she ain't using our supplies," he grumbled.

God, what was he, two years old? "Oh, fuck you, Rick. Daryl and I got most of those supplies in there. I'll use whatever the fuck I want." You hobbled past all of them in the direction of the clinic.

"Easy there," Negan said and placed a hand on your arm. "You're going to hurt yourself worse stomping around like that." He swept you up in his arms before you even realized he was doing it. His long strides at up the ground and you were at the clinic in no time. He sat you down at the door and you dug the keys out of your pocket to unlock the door.

You flipped on the light and moved straight to the cabinets that held the supplies you needed. "Thanks for the help."

He made a sound of acknowledgment but didn't say anything as you sat everything you needed on the counter. You gestured to the tall cabinet beside him. "There's a change of clothes in there. Will you grab them for me?"

He handed over the sweats and t-shirt. They were kind of universal clothes. Whoever needed them used them, but they were yours now. "Let me help."

You looked at him in surprise then shrugged. It would be a hell of a lot easier if you didn't have to do it yourself. You sat in a chair to take off your boots. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You can ask whatever you want. Whether I answer or not is another matter."

That answer didn't surprise you in the least. "Why the interest? I'm nothing special."

When you had difficulty getting your jeans off without pain, he helped. You expected a smart remark or a quick feel but he stayed completely professional. Once you were up on the table, he wet down a wash cloth and came back. "Eyes closed."

You studied him a second longer before doing as he said. Immediately he began to wipe the dirt from your face. You tensed when he found a cut or scrape but he was surprisingly gentle.

"I'll admit to being intrigued when you hopped off that wall. And I damn near came in my pants when you blew out the gate to face down the hoard. Anyone that says you aren't special is a damn fool, sweetheart." He moved his attentions from your face to your leg and you opened your eyes. "I watched them when you came back. Watched their reactions. They don't deserve you. Don't appreciate you the way they should."

"And you're going to give me that appreciation I deserve?" you asked as he finished bandaging your leg.

His fingers traced a path from your ankle to your thigh and you shivered. "Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea."