You stepped inside the gates of Skyhold and whistled through your teeth. Impressive. You spared a glance to the guard beside you. "Varric Tethras sent for me," you announced. 

"He can usually be found in the pub or in the keep itself, ma'am," he answered with a nod. 

You grinned at the thought of seeing your friend, causing the skin around the large scar on the right side of your face to pull. It was an odd sensation but you'd grown used to it. A glance at the sun showed it to still be a bit early for drinking, even for Varric. You made for the keep, jogging up the steps. You stepped through the door and gave your eyes a moment to adjust. 

And sure enough, there he was, sitting by the fire, quill flying over the paper in front of him. "I hope you make me taller in this one, Tethras. Everyone I meet always tells me they thought I'd be shorter."

The quill paused and his head jerked to the side so he could look over his shoulder at you. "Beauty!" he exclaimed and jumped up from his chair. You knelt so you could give him a proper hug. "Damn, is it good to see you."

After a moment you separated and stood back on your feet. "I'm here just as you asked. You want to tell me why?"

"Corypheus."

That one word was enough to send a shiver down your spine and chill your blood. That particular incident had nearly gotten you killed. Had nearly gotten you all killed, actually. "What about him?"

"He's not dead."

You gave an uneasy laugh. "That's impossible, Varric. The guy was a pin cushion by the time we were done. There's no way he survived that."

Your friend shrugged and sat back in his seat motioning to the other one. You sat and waited for an explanation. 

"Trust me, I know, y/n, but he just destroyed Haven, arch demon by his side."

This wasn't good. It wasn't good at all. Varric's eyes suddenly darted past you and he scowled. "I probably should have mentioned it earlier, but Curly is here."

That was almost a bigger blow than the fact Corypheus lived. You and Cullen Rutherford had been near inseparable until the battle in Kirkwall. You'd taken a hit of mage fire and a blow from Knight Commander Meredith's blade. Cullen had taken one look at you after the battle had ended and left without a word. You supposed you just weren't pretty enough for him anymore. 

The healers had gotten rid of most of the scars but the thick one on your face remained. Varric had taken you in and taken care of you until you healed. And he'd never once stopped calling you Beauty, which had been your nickname from the first time you met him. 

"Varric, the Inquisitor requests your presence in the war room to discuss strategy." The low familiar voice flowed over you and you turned to face its owner as you stood. 

"Cullen," you said by way of greeting. You weren't entirely prepared for the tug at your heart at seeing your old lover once more. 

His eyes widened. "Lady y/n. I was not expecting you." His eyes fixated on your scar then quickly darted away. "If you'll excuse me, I must return to my work."

You arched a brow at Varric as he passed by you with a shake of his head. "I'm going to get a drink," you said. 

"I'll find you when I'm finished, Beauty."

***

It wasn't until you started on your second pint that you pulled off your thin gloves and tossed the hood of your cloak back. Moments later a large shadow fell across the table and you glanced up in surprise to see a large Qunari with an eyepatch smiling down at you. He took the seat across the table and raised his glass in greeting. 

"Haven't seen you around. I'd remember that hair. You just get in?" he asked. 

You ran a hand over the hair in question and gave him a half-smile. Your hair was a rather distinctive shade of red. It was the reason you wore a hood more often than not. You preferred not to be recognized if you could help it. "This morning. Answering a summons from a friend. You?"

"We've been with the Inquisitor since Haven."

"We?"

He nodded and slammed his glass onto the table. "The Chargers. Best men you'll find anywhere. I'm The Iron Bull."

"Y/N Y/L/N."

His eyes widened and he leaned forward. "I've read about you."

You rolled your eyes. "You shouldn't believe anything Varric writes. He exaggerates. A lot."

You and Bull, as he insisted you call him, fell into easy conversation. By the time you were interrupted by your favorite dwarf both of you were laughing as you exchanged tales of missions gone wrong.

"Well I see you two are getting along," Varric said with a laugh. "It was the hair wasn't it?"

"Sit," you ordered. "Drink."

Varric rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. "Curly wants to talk to you. He's outside."

You sobered instantly. "Might as well get it over with," you muttered then downed the rest of your drink. 

Bull's eye narrowed. "Wait a minute, is Cullen the templar you wrote about? What did you call him...Leon?"

Varric hadn't been complimentary when it came to his description of the current Commander of the Inquisition forces. You were the one that insisted he change Cullen's name. You nodded as you stood, both men watching you with wary eyes. "You read the book what do you think?"

***

Cullen waited just outside the door for you. "Walk with me?" he asked.

You shrugged and fell into step beside him. He led you to what you could only assume was his office. He leaned on his desk and you simply stood there and studied him as he stared at the floor looking for his words. He'd always been like this. In days past you would have taken pity on him and started the conversation. 

"I wish I was better at pretty words, but I'm not. So I'll just leave it at I'm sorry. I failed you and I'm sorry," he finally said and looked at you expectantly. 

You'd actually wanted to hear those words from him for years, but now that you had them, they felt hollow, useless. "Do you have any idea how much it hurts to have the man that you love not be able to stomach looking at you? To have him be so disgusted he leaves without a word?"

His eyes widened and his head jerked back as if he'd been hit. "Maker's breath, is that what you think happened?"

"That is what happened, Cullen. I might have been in a pain-induced haze, but I remember."

He stood and took a step toward you. You immediately stepped back and he stopped. He reached a hand in your direction then let it drop. "You're still as breathtaking as the day I met you, y/n. That's not why I left."

"What other reason could there possibly be?" you yelled as you threw your hands up in the air. 

"I failed you," he yelled then turned his back to you.

You frowned and stayed silent, waiting for him to explain.

"I stayed with the Knight Commander. You told me she was mad. Maker, I'd seen it for myself, but I wanted...I thought in the end she'd do the right thing."

Your heart ached at the pain in his voice. This wasn't how this was supposed to work. You'd imagined this conversation a hundred times, but never like this. "You fought her in the end, Cullen. You stood with us."

He glanced over his shoulder. "And I was too late. You'd already been burned  and then when she came at you with the sword I couldn't get to you in time. I watched her strike. I thought I'd lost you then."

"How is any of that your fault? We were in a battle. It wasn't the first time I'd been injured and it definitely wasn't the last."

He turned completely then, closing the distance between you in two long strides. His hands grasped your upper arms. "I swore to protect you, y/n. You laid in my arms and I swore to stay by your side, to keep you from harm."

"And I told you that was impossible. I'm not the housewife type, Cullen. I'm always going to want to be in the fray. I'll always look for adventure. You can't save me from everything."

His eyes searched your face. "I could bloody well try. Y/N...I-"

He was cut off by a pounding on the door. He growled under his breath before releasing you and stomping over to see who was interrupting. Bull stood on the other side, a sour expression on his face. "Sorry to interrupt, Commander but y/n is late for our date."

You pressed your lips together and arched a brow at Bull as Cullen went absolutely still. "Date?" he questioned.

"Yeah, that's not a problem is it?" Bull asked.

Cullen cleared his throat and stepped to the side without looking at you. "Of course not. Another time, Lady y/l/n."

You studied Cullen for a long moment before stepping past him to join Bull. You let your fingers brush along Cullen's hand as you moved past. He jerked in surprise. "Commander," you said before linking your arm with the Qunari's. 

It took all of your willpower to not look over your shoulder as you walked away from the only man you'd ever loved. The man that had completely broken you once upon a time. "Date?" you asked once you were out of earshot.

"Wicked Grace with Varric and Dorian," Bull answered with a chuckle.

"Dorian?"

"Tevinter. Mage. You'll like him. Not as much as he likes himself but you'll like him."