Scientist: helpful grammar tip : " farther " is for physical distance , " further " is for methaphorical distance , and " father " is for emotional distance !

--

Miner: protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eatin tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce . 

Farmer: what ' s wrong with you ?? 

Miner: i literally just said i ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce ?? pay attention . 

Stickman: no , he means other than that . 

Miner: ohhhhhh

Miner: i haven't slept in 4 days 

--

Scientist: see , the problem is , miner , you ' re playing 3D chess . i ' m playing 4D . 

Miner: i ' m playin ' checkers . don ' t know what the f%!$ you're playin ' .

--

Stickman & Scientist: * playing video games * 

Chef: you guys woke up at 5 : 30 in the morning just to play games ? 

Stickman: * silence * 

Scientist: * silence *

 Chef , finally figuring it out: ... you two never went to sleep , did you ? 

Stickman & Scientist in shame: yeah ...

--

Scientist: you spent all our money on THIS ?? 

Farmer , putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: they live outside . they need this .

--

Scientist: * walks into the room * 

Stickman: she ' s covered in blood again. why is it she ' s always covered in blood ? 

Chef: well , it looks like it ' s her own blood this time .

--

( here comes a chefsci quote )

|||

Chef: i don ' t know how to tell you this , but ... i love you . 

Scientist: that ' s great , chef . especially considering the fact we ' ve been together for over 6  years .

( okay just one here ' s the normal ones )

--

Miner: alright farmer , stickman. let ' s go over this one more time . 

Miner: if somethin ' breaks ?

 Farmer: we try t ' fix it before chef gets home .

 Miner: if it doesn ' t work ?

Stickman: we blame scientist .

Scientist: seriously guys , what the hell ? !

--

i fink thats enough