Hey guys

it's been over a year since I've written or updated anything, and I'm sorry.

School's been a mess (especially the transition to highschool oh my goodness), life in general has been a mess, and I somehow convinced myself that my burning passion for Lord of the Rings had fizzled out.

But what I realized today, the reason behind my sudden reappearance, is that you can't just kill off your first fandom. Lord of the Rings was the first thing that was really important to me, other than family and stuff like that, of course. Lord of the Rings was the first thing that I realized could get me out of bed in the morning and inspire me to do better when I was feeling down. As an elementary-schooler, I learned that sometimes you need something you love wholeheartedly and isn't a person, and that thing for me was Lord of the Rings.

Now, before you're like "wow Sophie getting straight into the deep stuff ya cheeseball" I want to further explain myself (and maybe make up for my disappearance).

Something that's impacted your life that much doesn't just leave you, like I thought it did, and it definitely doesn't just disappear because you found something else more important. There's sentimental value in it now.

The only reason I got introduced to "real" internet culture and friends and people was because of this freakin fantasy trilogy that spiraled into something beautiful. I've met so many people and learned so many things in the wake of my love for these books and movies, and the characters and the places and the lore and just all of it.

Now, I know I probably sound like a crazy person to anyone who was never part of the generation of people introduced to this like I was, but,

instagram edits,

and boredom books,

and chatrooms and daughter of Elrond starters,

and tenth-walker fics and when we first heard that there were going to be Hobbit movies

and when the Battle of the Five Armies title was changed

and when they dropped the trailer and everyone lost their crap because holy cannoli

everyone loved it so much

The first people who really helped me and inspired me creatively I met through the lotr fandom. (throwback to that really terrible Dean O'Gorman fic that people still told me was great even though I read it now and die of laughter and cringy-ness)

And yeah, we all find new things too.

I mean, I would probably sell my soul for Bucky Barnes at this point, and I know people from the lotr fandom who's Phan and emo phases came and went and I remember all the randomness we would comment on each other's writing and they inspire me and I don't actually remember where I was going with this sentence so I'm going to stop

The poiNT IS:

I still wake up in the middle of the night because I have a chapter idea for that crapstorm of a book The Elven Gates, or because I have a character development idea for Maiden of the Riddermark.

You can't just get rid of the part of your heart dedicated to something you've loved so much.

I don't even know if people are interested anymore, because I feel like now Wattpad has a whole new generation of readers and writers and people are hardly interested in anything Middle-earth now that the Hobbit movies are over.

But I'm going to finish my books.

Disclaimer: probably not Slay Mirkwood Slay because that was a disaster from the start.

I'm gonna republish all the stories I took down, and probably put up a book that's just a collection of stuff I started so other people can get inspired or write it if they want.

And then I'm gonna log off.

Now, that's gonna be a super long time from now (because I'm only on the FotR part of the Elven Gates and we've still got a long, cliche way to go) but it's gonna happen, and I'm going to move over to my other account, @707vevo.

I want to leave this account so that it's like it was when I first started.

I'll still make covers, and I'll probably put up a boredom book on there if I feel the need.

But, yeah. Once I'm done here, I kinda want to close this chapter of my life more officially. I'm going to be graduating soon (okay I've still got some time but it's pretty soon compared to when I started this account, esp more time if we're comparing to when I started bigpointyear on ig and did the edit thing)

I know this hiatus was kinda crappy, but I want some closure and I want to finish. I just think that, since I've changed so much over my absence from here, I'd rather start over than try to evolve. I want this so be like a relic of my old self.

This said,

A day may come when I'm genuinely convinced that Lord of the Rings isn't important to me anymore,

But it is not this day.

(Or any day soon)