The chapter ya'll have been begging for..

What can I say? I'm the sweetest bitch in this cruel world..

Enjoy!

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vantae recently added to their story! 

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wait a fuckin' sec

when did THIS happen??

let's take a look at 2 hours ago!

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Taehyung POV - [9 PM]

Location: The Garden - Shangri-La Hotel, Itaewon

"Hyung, shall we leave? It's getting late."

It was cold, and my head was aching a little.

I wanted to go home.

Kai looked at me, a sly smile on his face. He yawned, stretching his arms, shirt rising to expose his perfect abs.

Still can't beat my Kookie, I thought, stifling a smile.

"I really can't believe you're still going out with me." he changed the subject, eyes scanning my features in the moonlight. "Can't say I blame you; I'm irresistible."

Another smile stifled, I picked up my jacket, gesturing for him to follow me out. I was sweating quite a lot, and it was surprising since it was winter.

"I don't like you in that way, hyung." I chuckled, shaking my head lightly as I began walking away from our table, "I thought I made this clear. Whatever this is is just for me to get my mind off something."

His face was devoid of humor, but then an arrogant smirk rose on his lips as he followed suit. He knew he was capable of seducing anyone he wanted, and I knew the only reason he was still hanging around me was to prove that he could bend me to his will.

Sure, I was a little flirty with him. That was just how I was programmed to function; sweet and spicy at the same time. We had only been hanging out for just about a month, and the only reason I was still doing it was that it was the only time I would be able to focus on anything that wasn't him.

The past month was hell. I would wake up in a cold sweat every morning, Jiminie clutching my hand in a panic to calm me down. My thoughts and dreams revolved around him, and each time his beautiful self came to my mind, I felt so much regret deep inside. I was sick, and I knew I wasn't okay.

I regretted ever leaving him that night. I did, but every time I pictured that kiss we shared, I was reminded of how different a person I had become from my once bubbly, innocent self.

I just needed to get over it before I could ever move on with Yoongi hyung. He was the love of my life, and I wasn't even sure if he'd take me back after all the shit I put him through. I wanted to be his, I wanted to be in his arms, but I couldn't be at peace with myself.

I decided I needed to find myself before I could start anything new. I needed to get better, and I needed to be healthier.

Everyone agreed with me on this, except for the fact that I had brushed him away when he had needed me the most. I had been ruthless and cold, and I wince each time I remember his faint cry of despair when I had pushed him away that night.

The only reason I was here, at the Shangri-La with the k-pop industry's most notorious fuckboy was that somehow he was the only person who's presence could calm me. Somehow, in his company, I felt like I was high.

I could forget.

"Babe? Are you even listening?"

A pair of hands shook my shoulders gently, waking me from my trance. I faced Kai, hands clammy with sweat, eyes teary, and body heating rapidly from nervousness.

"Let's get you cleaned up, okay?" he dragged me to the washrooms, "You're burning up."

I couldn't even register his words properly, vision a little hazy as I washed my face with shaking hands. I felt light like I could be blown away by the slightest gust of wind.

"Sit on the counter for a few minutes, babe."

I nodded gently, lazily watching him take a few selfies for his Instagram. Inwardly I just wanted to get this over with and go home and sleep, Jiminie holding my hand as usual. Why couldn't he see that I was uncomfortable?

"This is not the time for pictures," I whispered, tiredly leaning on the countertop while he ignored me, a smug smile still lingering on his face.

Something wasn't right.

"Fuck this, I'm leaving," I grumbled, ignoring the plea of my weak legs as I began to walk out the door, only to be stopped by his rough grip on my arm. "Let go!"

"Not so fast, babe."

His smile was somehow sinister, and my eyes fluttered feverishly. My head was pounding, body weaker than ever as he held me tightly in an iron grip.

"Where do you think you're going?" he laughed, "You're with me now."

"W-what?"

"I'm not letting the pill I slipped in your coffee go to waste."

"W-what are you s-saying!!?"

"Calm down, Taehyung." he grinned wickedly, "It's just for a picture. The effects last for only a few hours, you're not gonna die or anything."

"And maybe afterward you could put your mouth to good use. And maybe let me bend you over right here and fuck you for a bit." he laughed, his arms snaking around my body, "It was only a matter of time before you submitted willingly anyways."

"I'm just speeding it up for us, babe."

I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound escaped my throat, and I could only watch helplessly, cheeks wet with tears as he roughly pressed his lips to mine. His teeth bit into my lower lip, his fingers digging deep into my skin as he forcefully shoved his tongue into my mouth.

It felt so wrong, and red lights flashed through my mind. The camera clicked twice; my face roughly hidden by the screen of his phone as he continued to press himself on me.

"P-please stop it!" I begged, trying to loosen his grip on my shirt, "Let me g-go, please!"

He pretended to not hear me, and nausea took over my senses, the feeling to hurl my dinner right at him still lingering. He didn't stop, his fingers deftly working on pulling down my pants as my head rested on his shoulder, dizzied out.

"We're gonna have so much fun, Taehyungie."

And I couldn't hold on for much longer. Disgust filled my body, his touches making me shiver in all the wrong ways. I could only think of Yoongi hyung and how his touch would feel so, so different... loving, and nothing like this. Kai's hands on my body only left feelings of dread in its wake.

"If you don't stop, I'm gonna-"

"You're gonna do what exactly?" he chuckled at my whispered words, fingers already dipping into my underwear. "You can't do anything but willingly go along with it, babe."

"I know you want this, Taehyung."

I couldn't stop my tears, my thoughts flooded with only thoughts of Yoongi hyung. How it would've all been different for us if only I had stayed that night. I would've been cuddled up with him in his bed by now, pressing soft kisses on his lips before falling asleep together. But no, I had left, and I was paying for it.

And the second Kai's hands gripped my privates, I let it out.

I felt the bile rise in my throat, and I hurled all over his expensive-looking Prada, catching him by surprise. He shied away from me, disgust written all over his face as he saw the mess on his clothes, and then  I saw my chance.

And I took it.

Head spinning, I ran. I could hear him shout for me to stay where I was, to come back to him, but I shut away his voice, not wanting to hear more. Soon, everything was just a blur as I escaped the hotel.

Rational thoughts flying out the window, I ran down the busy night-lit streets of Itaewon, and I could faintly hear the gasps of fans who had seen me running in public without a mask. Ignoring it all, I continued to run, final destination unknown to even myself.

I just knew I needed to see Yoongi hyung before I passed out.

My body was too heavy for my legs to carry, and I found myself sitting tiredly in a dark hidden alley, my head splitting as I opened my phone with shaking fingers. I knew I needed to call someone, but for some reason, I found myself looking back at the month's worth of texts from Yoongi hyung that I had not even read.

There were at least fifty, and my tears kept falling when I clicked on his contact for the first time in a month.

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Kim Taehyung's Phone📱

𝕐𝕠𝕠𝕟𝕘𝕚 𝕙𝕪𝕦𝕟𝕘💜

(The night of the party.)

agustd: taehyung, you know I dont blame you for anything right? it's okay for you to leave, and I really do understand. dont beat yourself up, I love you too much to see you hurting.

agustd: even though you left, it doesn't mean im leaving. I'm going to keep all those promises I made tonight

agustd: sleep well.

agustd: I love you, Taetae❤️

-

---- a/n: imagine, yoongi sending texts every single day ----

(The next day.)

agustd: the world lights up when you smile

agustd: so please start smiling more

agustd: i love you❤️

-

(the day after--)

agustd: you still make me smile, even though you're the reason why I'm sad

agustd: cuz the posters on my wall are all of you, I'll be able to smile more

agustd: I love you❤️

-

(..)

agustd: best thing about nights?

agustd: uhmmm, I get to stare at your photos, and smile or cry, and no one's gonna interrupt me

agustd: so let me kick Namjoon and Hope out of my room while I start doing just that

agustd: sleep tight, and have the best dreams, angel

agustd: I love you❤️

-

(...)

agustd: so I decided hobi isn't the sun

agustd: you are

agustd: I love you❤️

-

(..)

agustd: I started writing a song. nah, I'm writing like five

agustd: I asked Jin, Jiminie and Kook and they're only happy to sing for me, but more than them, I want you. I wrote it all for you.

agustd: dont stress about it, I know you won't even read this, but I promised to do this nevertheless.

agustd: I love you❤️

-

(...)

agustd: so yes, I'm halfway through our little cypher part 5

agustd: you and me and no one else

agustd: we could be our own rapline

agustd: you can have my lines too, I wrote it all for you anyways

agustd: so I fulfilled that promise I made to you after you fainted at M Countdown, didnt I!!

agustd: I love you❤️

-

(...)

agustd: I love you❤️

agustd: I love you❤️

agustd: I love you❤️

agustd: thank you for coming to my TedTalk

agustd: *TaeTalk I dont know who Ted is, im sorry

-

(..)

agustd: I dont know what else to say than

agustd: I love you❤️

agustd: and im not ever stopping, even if I know you're dating that guy you were dancing with that night

agustd: im not saying it doesnt stab me in the heart (multiple times) but I'm at peace, cuz I finally saw a picture of you smiling a few days ago in public and that's all I need to be okay.. to know that you're fine

agustd: I love you❤️

-

(..)

agustd: call this jealousy and it's not, but I've heard some weird things about Jongin, and im not just saying that.

agustd: I know I have NO say at all in what you do, but please be careful

agustd: I love you❤️

-

--- a/n: you get it, it continues for a whole month ---

(yesterday)

agustd: im gonna step out of home soon (yay)

agustd: I heard from Jimin's hyung that ur writing/singing a song for his drama. I'm doing a song with Suran, and one with IU for the same drama, so let's call it fate?

agustd: I'm so proud of you

agustd: I know your song can break records, my angel. I believe in you, tae.

agustd: I love you❤️

-

(today - three hours ago)

agustd: so I actually stepped out today and dispatch is already making a mess, calling me thin and unhealthy lol idek what I even do to get this shit

agustd: I finished a few whole songs (woohoo) and I'm almost done with cypher. 5 (the taegi ver.)

agustd: they're both a little emo 

agustd: ok theyre VERY emo, what else am I supposed to write lol im not ever writing happy love songs ever again

agustd: I think im gonna pull an all nighter

agustd: but YOU, after your date, get some good sleep okay? don't need you getting sick, it worries me even more! I hope you're wearing a fleece or a padded coat or something! 

agustd: It's especially cold in Itaewon tonight. and I know it is, cuz I checked the weather and there is a chance of SNOW. SNOWFALL IN APRIL. SNOWFALL IN FUCKING APRIL. THIS IS RIDICULOUS I REFUSE TO BE COLD FOR MORE TIME THAN JUST THE WINTER.

agustd: why am I even texting when you dont reply idek, but it's become a habit and I don't plan on stopping

agustd: I miss your face

agustd: I love you❤️

[all messages from March 26th - April 30th-]

[Read at 10.00 pm KST]

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The phone slipped from my fingers as I started to cry once more. What did I do to deserve someone like him? He kept his promise.

''

"But I promise to make changes." ---------- "I promise to make you laugh at least one time every day, even when I'm not there with you in person. I promise to call you and text you all the time."

"I'm going to write so many songs about you, love." ----------- "I'm going to pull you out on stage and sing with you; fuck it all, I'll write a whole Cypher for us. Just us, because that's how much I love you."

''

He had kept all his promises he had made that night, and I didn't know how to breathe anymore. It was all hitting me at once, the fact that I had pushed away the one thing that was good for me, the one thing I needed to live, even more than my next breath.

I had cheated, I admit it. But he had cheated too, right? So did our girlfriends. And yet, here I was, being the selfish bastard who acted as if I was the only one in pain. Did I once think of how he would've felt after he cheated, was cheated on, and was heartbroken at the same time?

I needed to see him.

"I need to see him, fuck!" I yelled, the empty streets of the deserted part of Itaewon mocking me with its silence. "My Yoongi hyung-"

Four miles.

It was four whole miles to Gangnam from Itaewon, and I didn't fucking care. I was drowsy, the drug's effect still lingering though it's effect was only for an hour or so. My legs were like Jell-O, wobbly, and unsteady, but I couldn't think straight.

So I started my run.

My thoughts were all jumbled up, only filled with the text messages that I had refused to read. He had known, he had known about how shady Kai was, and he had tried to warn me. He was going through so much mental trauma, he wasn't eating well, and he had tried to injure himself.

And yet, he managed to send me a loving text every single night.

He continued to love me through his pain, still caring about me when I ignored his texts and calls, still looking after me when I was 'dating' someone else, continuing to be an angel when I acted like he didn't exist.

I truly didn't deserve him.

Three miles more to go.

"Hyung, I'm coming-" I whispered, panting a little as I continued to dash past the dwindling crowd, imagining that this run was one of Jungkook's elaborate workouts. "I'm gonna find you, hyung."

And I kept going, not even stopping for a break, the distance signs on the roads cheering me on when I was inching closer and closer to Gangnam. I was almost there.

Only one mile left.

Tears frozen on my cheeks from the cold, my heart burned for warmth and I knew I was only going to get it in his arms. I could see the BigHit building in the far distance, my vision still unsteadily blurry as I limped a little.

The drug had almost worn out, yet I was tired from the long run. I didn't even feel the pain until I stopped right outside the big glass doors of the BigHit building.

Fuck, I was finally here.

I pushed open the doors, hoping I wouldn't be barred from entering the foreign building. There were still staff and crew running around the ground crew at 12.00 am, and I winced when my entrance drew unwanted attention.

I stood there clumsily, eyes red and puffy, and cheeks swollen from the cold. No one moved for a second before all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I was drowned by five small boys.

"V SUNBAE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE OMO!!!?"

I couldn't help but smile tiredly at the freshly debuted little group who had covered with me a huge padded jacket. They reminded me of Bangtan when we had just debuted; all shy smiles and excited jumpy personalities.

"I'm here to find someone, boys."

Their eyes shone with respect, almost tearing up a little at seeing me in person and I felt so happy to have met the babies that Namjoon and Hobi and even Yoongi hyung almost always talked about proudly. Again, they reminded me of myself when I debuted, always excited to meet a senior artist.

"We'll take you to wherever you wanna go, Sunbae-nim OMO!" a cute one yelled excitedly, flailing his arms around as he pulled me to the reception area, the other four boys excitedly surrounding me from behind.

"How may I help you, sir? And you boys?" the lady at the reception asked warily. And she looked concerned, and by glancing at my rough reflection on the glass walls, I knew I looked like a hot mess.

"He's here to visit Yoongles!"

I raised an eyebrow at the cute little one, wondering how he knew exactly where I wanted to go. But, then again it made sense that he knew.

Also, Yoongles?

The lady smiled nervously before turning to me once more. Shy typed something onto her computer and looked at me apologetically.

"Sir, I'm afraid SUGA-ssi's floor has restricted entry." she frowned, "Usually all our artists have cleared floors for each other, and Hoseok-ssi and Namjoon-ssi and our TXT members here follow that rule."

"But Yoongi-ssi has blocked access for even his members."

Fuck.

"But," the lady looked even more bewildered, "He's granted full access for someone named Kim Taehyung." ---- "We don't have anyone going by that name in this company, so it may be a close family member."

"So I'm sorry sir, you can't enter."

My smile had grown so wide, to the point where it scared the poor lady shitless. The five boys around me were howling and yelling for some unknown reason.

Pulling my purse from my pocket, I took out my ID and slammed it onto the counter, eyes still teary. "I'm Kim Taehyung," She examined it, eyes still wide as she entered my visit before quietly giving me an entry pass.

I broke into a sprint, the burning pain in my legs ignored blatantly as I ran for my life to the first floor, hurriedly waving goodbye to the five boys who watched with a proud expression.

"I'm almost there, hyungie." I panted, rushing up a few flights of stairs to his studio; ironically the one that I replicated. "Wait for me."

And when I rounded the corner to where a familiar-looking door stood, I realized something. Yoongi hyung's studio was password-protected, and there was no fucking way I could know what it was.

"Fuck all that, I'll face it." I thought, mustering up all my courage before closing my eyes and running down the long corridor. And yet again, I was met with another shocking sight.

His door was only half-closed.

And I knew him well enough to know that he hated keeping his door open even a little; hated it enough to put a whole lock on it, and here it was, only half closed like it was inviting me to fling it open and go inside.

And I readily took the bait, fresh tears streaming down my face as I pushed it open to see the love of my life hunched over his desk, writing away furiously, headphones blaring, as an unopened bowl of noodles and a full cup of coffee sat in front of him.

And yet, he sensed my presence.

Because when I entered the room, he turned around in his chair.

And when he saw me standing there, a bloody mess of tangled hair and red tear-stained cheeks, his eyes scrunched up in faint surprise.

And he smiled.

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- a/n: this chapter was written by Jay. -

- I'm gender fluid and non binary. Jay is my male counterpart, and it's his first time writing anything lol I hope it's okay as usual. -

.

- so, you still hate me? -

- yes, Kai the bastard (irl jongin bby ilysm) tried to take advantage of Taehyung and I'm SO MAD. even I didn't plan all that to happen lol. I write only on the gist of the moment.-

- and yes Yoongs kept all the promises he made to Tae when he confessed that night. his texts were HEARTBREAKING to write I tell you. -

- also, I added TXT out of impulse cuz I love my naughty little BigHit maknaes, uwu. the cute one I was referring to was Yeonjun but you can think of him as any one of the other babies uwu -